Challenger Deep audiobook

WOW I am blown away by this novel. This is an intense, intense story that you really need to dedicate yourself to reading. It is a truly incredible work of literature and absolutely deserves the title of National Book Award Winner. Eye-opening, thought-provoking, all around amazing.TW: schizophrenia, talk of suicideThis is genuinely one of the greatest books I have ever read about mental illness. It is accurate, well-rounded, authentic as raw. As someone who suffered from a form of psychosis similar to schizophrenia, Challenger Deep was so validating to read. I honestly don’t know how Neal Schusterman captured exactly what this condition is like. Through collaborating with his son who deals with Caden’s illness and the immense amount of research put in, he somehow took the thoughts, feelings, and experiences that millions of people have and put it to paper. Color me entirely impressed by the fantastic portrayal of mental illness.I will say, Challenger Deep has an unconventional storytelling format. Half the story is told from Caden's perspective in his hometown and the other half is from Caden's perspective on a sailing ship. While I can attest to the many reviews suggesting this was confusing, I believe it is crucial to what makes Challenger Deep so unique and intense. I struggled a bit in the beginning as the two perspectives seem so disjointed but it quickly becomes easy to understand the intent behind these passages. Overall, Challenger Deep was amazing. I cannot recommend it enough.

"Dead kids are put on pedestals, but mentally ill kids get hidden under the rug."Thank you, Neal Shusterman, for portraying the pain, the horrors, and the light touches of hope that come with mental illness. I have read at least one book (looking at you, All the Bright Places) that glamorizes mental disorders, and as an aspiring psychologist, such inaccurate perceptions of these real diseases disturb me. Through Caden, Shusterman shows the delusions and doubts and episodes of emotional dysregulation that come with schizoaffective disorder, and he does so in a way that advances the plot while honoring the pain that pervades Caden's struggle.Despite my enjoyment of the book, I do wonder how younger readers with less knowledge about mental illnesses will perceive Shusterman's dual narratives. He switches between Caden's deterioration as he enters a mental institute and Caden's hallucinations of serving as a crewmate on a ship with a terrifying captain. I often felt a disconnect from Caden when he experienced his hallucinatory episodes (which makes sense, because of just how powerful and real they feel to him), and I question how other readers will construe Shusterman's narrative structure in Challenger Deep. Either way, he never makes light of Caden's situation or makes the mistake of glorifying it, which already sets this book apart from others.Overall, a gripping read and affecting novel about a boy torn between two realities. Recommended to those who enjoy contemporary YA, feel an interest about a book that centers on mental illness, and to fans of Shusterman's other works.

I adored this book. It was a little confusing to figure out what was going on right away, but once the two stories start overlapping it all comes together in this beautiful and emotion way. I loved it, and it hit me in the feels more than a few times. Probably the books that's made me cry the hardest, but so worth it.

My first impression of this book was also the one that lasted - While reading I often felt like I was drowning in it; and about as often like I was re-emerging.I will try to write a review that does this magnificent book justice, but I am also fully aware of the fact that no matter what I say and how, I will not be able to encompass it all. But let's start at the beginning - Normally, I avoid books about mental illness as I avoid books about cancer. Authors often spiral out of control and go crashing into banalities and sugarcoating. Not this book. I picked it up because of the reference to the Mariana Trench, I wanted to know whether it would end at the title or whether the author would explore it further and draw more parallels. In order to avoid spoilers I will not answer the question - find it out yourself.What I will say however is - nothing could have prepared me for this. Imagine this -you are underwater with your face turned towards the surface. Beneath you is the bottomless darkness and you know you are sinking, deeper and deeper, but you are not frightened. Instead you watch the sunrays dance on the surface, you watch the waves, you may even hear something happening above you though it is muted. Everything is muted. You are in some strange, undescribable vacuum or maybe limbo. You know you have to re-emerge soon, the sooner the better, but you are torn. A part of you wants to stay this way, the other desires to escape the water and never enter it again. Focus on what you are feeling, on what you are not feeling.It is a strange state to be in, isn't it? (I have no idea why, but this book reminded me of the atmosphere of 'Spirited Away' and especially No-Face. Maybe because both the mentioned character and this book had some unique imperturbability about them)The author constantly switches between two settings, the reality and the delusion of Caden's life. Through the use of mostly brief and emotionally intense chapters the atmosphere changes rapidly leaving the reader more often than not somewhere between confused, shocked and heartbroken. There is certainly no action in this book - it is deeply introspective and psychological but not plot-driven. As I have already said, there is a calmness in it that is both stunning and scary. It is very soon that the reader realises that it is about a scattered mind and follows Caden's journey, or rather journeys. Watches him losing himself to his delusions and getting more and more out of control until, finally, he is hospitalized. There are so many chapters that are entirely detached from reality and all of them are allegorical. In these chapters every phrase, every turn of the head, has a meaning and it is not always graspable, neither to the reader nor to Caden. Likewise, there are many chapters that are real and shocking, yet somewhat hopeful, because there are people in Caden's life who are willing to help him, who are there for him and support him during his difficult episodes. The book is scary and confusing and moving and heartbreaking. And I loved every second of it and deeply appreciated the insight and the honesty behind it. Following the deterioration of Caden's sanity was both horrifying and enlightning and this is probably one of the very few books that will stay with me for a long, long time. The author does not glamorize mental illness. Not even once - which makes it even more heart-wrenching. No one is put into boxes, there is no sugarcoating. There is however the truth, the way a person experienced mental illness first-hand. This book carries an important, poignant message which is worth sharing and which should be spread. HIGHLY recommended. P.S. Only now, after going through the review to check for mistakes do I realise in what an emotional turmoil this book left me. I am still not over it. P.P.S. READ IT.

I think I'm feeling more emotions than the first time I read it? If that's even possible?✨ You can read my full review here on my blog, Starry Sky Books! This is one of my favorite reviews. If you're thinking about reading this book, I highly suggest you skim through my review, so you can find out some vital info about how the book is set up. (cw: mental illness, mental hospitals, mentions of self-harm, mentions of death, implication of suicide)I would like to begin this review by saying two things: 1) This is a reread review. When I was younger, I used to give all of my favorite books 5 stars because I loved them, but also because I hadn’t read many books in general, other than my favorites. This one remains one of my favorites, and is the only 5 star review on this blog so far because of my history with it. But just because I love it, does not mean that you will! 2) Challenger Deep includes subjects which may not be for everyone. It can be difficult to read at times. Sometimes the story is slow or confusing, but the story is meant to be that way. This is one of those books which, unfortunately, requires you to understand the premise before reading, I’ve seen several negative reviews for this book, but a lot of them are due to the reviewers being confused for much of the book. Hopefully I can explain a little of this! a little anecdote about this book:When I found out about this book several years ago, it was because my school library had put up posters about it all over the place. Back in the good old days of 2015, Challenger Deep won the National Book Award for Young People’s Literature. Libraries (at least, in my area) were advertising it well and whenever they could, and because of this, there were at least three posters of the book in my school library alone. These posters intrigued me. “What is this book about?” I asked myself. “Why does it look like he’s drowning in water on a string? Why are all of the librarians obsessed with this book, when no one I know has read it?” I later looked up reviews on Goodreads. From these reviews, I learned something that the synopsis didn’t convey. Challenger Deep is a story about schizophrenia. This piece of vital information may be what keeps you from turning this book away. I won’t go into any more detail than that, but I believe knowing this part of the story is crucial to how one understands why the story unfolds the way it does. on to the review: Challenger Deep is told in an unusual way: the story unfolds through short, alternating chapters conveying the main character as both a regular teenage boy and a pirate on a ship. While this may seem strange to some people, this may have been one of the reasons why I loved it. I can see why some people might have been confused while reading this book for the first time, but when I look back on my past experience, I don’t remember ever being out of the loop. This is why I gave that small bit of info in the beginning! You’re going to need it. Safe travels. While the unique alternating realities are special, I also love that this story itself just feels so touching, heart-breakingly raw, and wildly separate from reality at the same time. There are certain scenes in this book which may seem crazy and unrealistic, but… if you keep on reading, everything will eventually fall into place. You’ll begin to understand all of the strange happenings, and why Caden sees the world in the way that he does. And if you’re still confused in the beginning… I suggest you wait until chapters 75-84. That’s when everything will start to click! I’m usually hesitant about reading/talking about mental illness-related books, since some of them are not told by people who have experienced the mental illness themselves. However, Challenger Deep was heavily inspired by Neal Shusterman’s son, and his experiences with schizophrenia. Knowing this also helped me to understand the severity of this story, and how real it can be for some people. Of course, everyone experiences mental illnesses differently. But unfortunately, in today’s world, a lot of people have no idea what to think about many mental illnesses. I’m ashamed that I grew up thinking schizophrenia was synonymous with “multiple personality disorder” (which is now referred to as Dissociative Identity Disorder). For some reason, the media often portrayed mental illnesses however they wanted and in a simplified manner, so that people like me were often sheltered from discovering what it was actually like to have those illnesses. While the media seems to have gotten better with the way this is handled, it’s still not good enough, and not much better at all. Reading this book several years ago, and even now during this reread, opened my eyes to the struggles others endure in their every-day lives. It’s heartbreaking that many mental illnesses are often dismissed because they’re not as common as anxiety or depression, but books like Challenger Deep are important because they highlight some aspects of mental health which would otherwise not be shared. Generally, I was riveted while reading this book. Even though I already knew how it was going to end, I still enjoyed the ride and sat at the edge of my seat. This book is very character/emotion driven, and if you’re more of an action/plot person, this book may not be for you. Challenger Deep is more about personal discoveries and emotional acceptance than anything else. I would like to say, though, that the plot could have been possibly a bit better, and the ending could have been a tiny bit slower. But did I cry? Yes, of course. Did I love it? Still, yes. my rating: While I think it deserves something more like 4.5 stars, I already marked it as “5 Stars” on my Goodreads and I’m feeling generous/nostalgic today, so… 5 Stars it is!

Starts slow but strengthens, matures, and astounds with every turn of a page.

This is the third gorgeously written book with positive representation of mental illness I’ve read this month. Third! It looks like YA is finally going there, endeavoring to explore the unexplorable. Neal Shusterman’s new book, Challenger Deep is the latest and brightest attempt to shed some light onto the struggles of people with mental disorders. Challenger Deep is a magical book – smart and funny, intelligent and poignant, frightening and thought provoking – all at once. The mood changes with each extremely brief chapter, and the rapid changes serve not only to manipulate our mood, but also to truly impress upon us that we’ve entered a scattered mind. This time, Shusterman writes from experience; his own son struggled with mental illness and the illustrations included in his book are Brendan’s from those times. I suppose if you don’t know what to expect, Challenger Deep can be a bit tricky at first. Some chapters are accessible and realistic, and then there are those that are completely detached from reality. To add to that, the unrealistic chapters are deeply allegorical, and although it quickly becomes clear what they represent, getting to that point can be a bit trying. But everything you have to go through to fully experience this book is more than worth it. While it can be challenging at times, it’s also extremely rewarding. The story has no less than three layers: the more or less healthy family life from Caiden’s memories, the rapid deterioration of his sanity and finally his life on the ship, an obvious metaphor and a sign of sanity lost. The whole decline is simply heartbreaking, but Shusterman still manages to make it all run smoothly. Understanding mental illness and stopping discrimination against people who struggle with it is the next important step this society needs to take. Each decade has its own civil rights fight, and I truly hope we tackle this next. Books like Challenger Deep are extremely important in that regard and as someone whose family battled those same issues, I thank Neal and Brendan Shusterman from the bottom of my heart.Every YA reader out there knows Neal Shusterman’s name, and if they don’t, I can honestly say they should. This is an author who constantly pushes the limits, who turns YA into something new and entirely unexpected each time. He should be celebrated far and wide and his work, more specifically this book, should get the accolades it deserves.

Q: Blank pages scream at me to be filled with crap from my brain. (c) I have a feeling that's the experience that brought this book into existence.Q: And when the abyss looks into you—and it will—may you look back unflinching. (c) This one I do like.Q: “‘Look into the abyss and the abyss looks into you... Let’s hope the abyss finds nothing of interest.” (c)Deliria diary. Undewhelming and all.Some kids are travelling by some ship to some deepwater place to do some strange stuff. Turns out, (view spoiler)[they don't. Schizophrenia's a bitch and this is just a preview for the general readership. (hide spoiler)]While I do appreciate the (view spoiler)[mental illness angle (hide spoiler)]and the allegory of deep water lonely submerging... poetic, isn't it? The book's amounting to basically a haphasard bunch notes hastily thrown together. Not what I usually look for. Q:I wonder if pushing my thoughts down that line the way I just did could be a dangerous thing. Could my thoughts be magnified in the heat and pressure of the earth and come out the other side as an earthquake? (c)Q:“Where does this hallway go?”She looks at me with suspicion. “It doesn’t go anywhere, it stays right here.” (c)Q:“Jumpers do what jumpers do. It’s our job to applaud their pluck and celebrate their lives.” (c)Q:So what does it say about me if beating the crap out of myself is one of my better moments? (c)Q:So what happens when your universe begins to get off balance, and you don’t have any experience with bringing it back to center? All you can do is fight a losing battle, waiting for those walls to collapse, and your life to become one huge mystery ashtray. (c)Q:other. It occurs to me that parrots always appear to have a pleasant smile, kind of like dolphins, so you never truly know what they’re thinking. A dolphin might be thinking of ripping your heart out, or poking you to death with its bottlenose, the way it might do to a shark, but since it’s always smiling, you think it’s your friend. It makes me think about the dolphins I painted on my sister’s bedroom wall. Does she know they may want to kill her? Have they already? (с)Q:Please rate the following statements from one to five using the scale below:1 strongly agree     2 totally agree     3 agree emphatically4 in absolute agreement     5 how did you know? I sometimes worry that the ship might sink.1   2   3   4   5My fellow crewmen are hiding biological weapons.1   2   3   4   5Energy drinks allow me to fly.1   2   3   4   5I am God, and God does not fill out questionnaires.1   2   3   4   5I enjoy the company of brightly colored birds.1   2   3   4   5Death tends to leave me hungry.1   2   3   4   5My shoes are too tight, and my heart two sizes too small.1   2   3   4   5I believe all the answers lie at the bottom of the sea.1   2   3   4   5I often find myself surrounded by soulless zombies.1   2   3   4   5Sometimes I hear voices from the Home Shopping Network.1   2   3   4   5I can breathe underwater.1   2   3   4   5I have visions of parallel and/or perpendicular universes.1   2   3   4   5I need more caffeine. Now.1   2   3   4   5I smell dead people. (c) Now, that's some questionnaire :)Q:Who is my father, really? What if he’s part of some secret society? (c)Q:... that living cloud in the corner of my mind that looks under the bed is now a ground fog spreading over my brain like the angel of death over the firstborn of Egypt. (c)Q:“You were not given permission to have talent,” the captain tells me. “It may offend the other crewmen who have none.” And although talent comes whether you ask permission or not, I bow my head and ask, “Please, sir . . . may I be allowed the talent to draw?”“I will consider it.” (c)Q:“Excellent! You’ll visit the crow’s nest twice a day.”“What if I don’t want to visit the crow’s nest?” I ask him.He winks at me. “Then the crow’s nest will visit you.” (c)Q:“Burn all your bridges,” the captain says. “Preferably before you cross them.” (c)Q:“There is nothing to fear but fear itself,” the captain announces from the helm, “and the occasional man-eating monster.” (c)Q:Forget solar energy—if you could harness denial, it would power the world for generations. (c)Q:I see things. Not so much see, but feel. Patterns of connection between the people I pass. Between the birds that swoop from the trees. There is meaning out there, if only I can find it. (c)Q:“There are things going on behind my back, aren’t there?” she asks—and since she’s the figurehead of the ship, the answer is, of course, “Yes.” (c)Q:Everyone on deck is occupied in their own particular obsession. (c)Q:After another hour of conversation, I got him to agree that he would stop slapping arses. We shook hands on it. ‘But compliments, I think I’m still gonna do,’ he said. (c) LOL. An hour well spent.Q:I have a file in the counselor’s office? Who else has a copy of my file? Who gets to put things in and take things out? Is it in any way related to my permanent record? What is a permanent record? When does it stop following you? Will I have to spend my life looking over my shoulder for my permanent record? ...Historically? I’m being studied like history? Are they filling out Scantrons about me somewhere? Are they giving letter grades on the subject of me, or is it pass/fail? (c)Q:“Have you ever considered how lonely it is to be the girl on a pedestal?” (c)Q:“So . . . what happens to the brainless sailors?” ...“Oh, the captain finds something to fill their heads with ...(c)Q:“What we perceive as art, the universe perceives as directions,” he proclaims. Directions to where, however, neither of you is sure. (c)

No combination of twenty-six letters can express what this book did to me. I’ve never been diagnosed with any kind of mental illness. I’ve had bad days - days when I felt like I was the only living being in the planet and everyone else was plotting against me. I’ve had suicidal thoughts for three days at a stretch. I secretly used to think that I might have survived depression once. Those thoughts feel laughable now. I thought I knew mental illness. I could usually connect with mentally ill characters in books and I used to think I knew what it felt like. APPARENTLY NOT. This book just changed my life. Shusterman’s story is brilliantly crafted, original, and well researched and the artworks are real . It is an exemplar for mental illness books. He has captured so well what it is like to be mentally ill, drawing from his own experiences as well as his son's, who had been schizophrenic. “I push through the granite, the sludge, the bones, the dirt, the worms, and the termites, until I’m bursting through into some rice paddy field in China, proving that there’s no such thing as down, because eventually down is up.” Honestly, why isn’t anyone reading this instead of Scythe? Like, this is IMPORTANT. This is EXTRAORDINARY. This is a MUST READ. “It’s not like I can control these feelings. It’s not like I mean to think these thoughts. They’re just there, unwanted birthday gifts that you can’t give back.” Caden Bosch is fifteen. He is schizophrenic and maybe schizoaffective. He is in a ship that sails to nowhere. He also goes to school and has two best friends who have been recently thrown off by his strange behavior. He’s in search of the depth of Marianas Trench in the Pacific Ocean. He can see things others can’t. He knows what people are thinking when they don’t know themselves. He knows truth about this universe no one has yet discovered. He is mentally ill. And this, is his story. “Do you know how it feels, to be free from yourself and terrified by it? You feel both invincible and targeted, as if the world – as if the universe – doesn’t want you to feel this dizzying enlightenment. And you know there are forces out there that want to crush your spirit like a gas filling all available space. Now the voices are loud, almost as loud as your mother as she calls you down for dinner for the third time. You know it’s the third time even though you don’t remember hearing the first two times. Even though you don’t even remember going up to your room.” This book did to me what no other book has. I can’t really explain. I had an intense head-ache while reading it. I began to see things that weren’t there. The only time I had hallucinations was this one time when I was fifteen and sick. I’d stayed awake all night staring at the dark ceiling, feeling that the ceiling fan was dropping monsters at me, the room was trying to shrink into me, that I was falling into an abyss I couldn’t escape from. I might have puked a few times that night. I can’t begin to imagine what it would be like to live like that all the time. I experienced it now. I deeply resonated with Caden Bosch and his thoughts. I had to stop reading at times, scared to continue, thinking that maybe I’m becoming schizophrenic myself. I felt like I was floating an inch from the ground, like I had lost all purpose. I honestly couldn’t sleep well at all. That is how deep and intensely vivid Shusterman’s writing is. It speaks directly to your brain. It consumes you in whole.That was mostly for the first half of the book. The second half sometimes felt dragged on. I particularly didn’t enjoy the ship scenes much. Mostly because I was confused on what was going on. But then, it becomes all too clear.I teared up at times. I related to Caden. I became scared. I worried.I even thought of DNFing the book just to end turmoil it was putting me through. But in the end, I just marveled at how deeply and intensely this book affected me. “And that knowledge is so magnificent you can’t hold it in, and it drives you to share it – but you don’t have the words to describe it, and without the words, without a way to share the feeling, it breaks you, because your mind just isn’t large enough to hold what you’ve tried to fit into it…” Please people, GO AND READ THIS BOOK. It is going to change your perspective on life, and you’ll never read a mental-illness rep the same way ever again. Not that I wish anyone to go through what I did while reading it, but I want everybody to read this book and have their eyes open.°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°I’m deeply grateful to Laura for recommending me this book. I know I wouldn’t have discovered this otherwise. Thanks lovely! xD

Neal Shusterman writes like he’s a wizard and Challenger Deep is his spellbook. The prose is enthralling, think Truman Capote meets Junot Diaz--world class stuff here, honestly.He puts you through a child’s mental illness by taking you on a voyage across the sea, on a pirate sheep, to the depths of Challenger Deep. The mysterious way Caden ends up on this ship, and how strange the inhabitants are give the book a nonsensical feel, like Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, but with a twist of mystery that just keeps you DYING to learn more.The story unfolds in these very short, vignette-y scenes that are almost poetic. But like poetry, and maybe as the name implies, it’s quite the challenging read. The story unfolds in a way that feels as insane as the narrator. And at the end, it never quite fits together, like the metaphorical puzzle Caden and his friends never finish.Regardless, there’s something magical about this book. The pirate ship was the most interesting thing I’ve read in a long time, and even though I wish the whole book was about that journey and had nothing to do with mental illness, Neal Shusterman really blew me away with the book as a whole. Very satisfying, unique read.

"Dead kids are put on pedestals, but mentally ill kids get hidden under the rug.” This book is incredible. It’s the brave and harrowing, but above all brutally honest story of what it feels like to suffer from schizophrenia. Alongside Caden we confront it all: the delusions, the mania, the constant fear and doubts - but also the lights on the horizon and the support from friends and family. Challenger Deep is based on the experience of Shusterman’s best friend and own son with this mental illness, which made this story all the more powerful. In this book we follow Caden Bosch, a 15-year-old teenage boy who's mind slowly gets taking over by terrifying hallucinations and intrusive thoughts. It starts out very small – him thinking there are termites living in the walls of his home – but when Caden starts to roam the streets in fear of /a boy he suspects is going to kill him/earthquakes/painted dolphins/SOMETHING!/ his parents admit him to a mental hospital.In there Caden spends his time with group therapy sessions, medication cocktails, and talks with his psychiatrist. In his mind however, Caden is part of a ship’s crew, lead by a terrifying captain in search of Challenger Deep, an oceanic trench where the darkest monsters of all reside. Reading this book was a challenge, in more ways than one. A lot of chapters namely are about how Caden is trapped in the delusions of his own mind, where things from reality and his imagination come together on the ship. First I didn’t understand the chapters on the ship at all, but after 1/3 of the book things click and will start making sense. The chapters spend in reality are more clear, but maybe more painful to read because the reader, alongside Caden, experiences the fear and anxiety while he slowly loses control of his own mind. The boy realises that his fears aren’t real, but he can’t help it: he HAS to run from the things that are chasing him. “Don Quixote - the famous literary madman - fought windmills. People think he saw giants when he looked at them, but those of us who've been there know the truth. He saw windmills, just like everyone else - but he believed they were giants. The scariest thing of all is never knowing what you're suddenly going to believe.” This book offers a very positive and realistic view on medication and mental health clinics. In many (mental-health) books mental hospitals are demonized and described as prisons and mental torture houses run by cruel doctors and orderlies. This is incredibly damaging and harmful for the image of mental health as a whole, because in most cases (let’s be realistic), hospitals aren’t like that at all. Shusterman actively shows you how the medication and therapy sessions work by making the writing and the story more coherent the longer Caden stays in the clinic. Slowly you figure out who the ship’s crewmembers are, and whose words you can trust.But meds don’t make an illness disappear. A girl in the clinic comments that “at home they all think medicine should be magic, and they become mad at me when it’s not.” Not all the children in the clinic improve while they are there. A mental disorder, wherever it’s schizophrenia, depression, or OCD, can’t be cured: it’s something that you have to fight again and again and again. This struggle is incredibly difficult, but seeing how all the kids fight their inner demons with the support of each other, the doctors, and their family, is heart wrenching but very powerful. In the author’s note, Shusterman tells that “he hopes that this book will comfort those who have been there, letting them know they are not alone. We also hope that it will help others empathize, and to understand what it’s like to sail the dark, unpredictable waters of mental illness.” The aim of this book isn’t therefore only to entertain, but also to educate and make us aware of how mental illness can affect someone's life and the lives of others. I’m very happy that I’ve read this book and will recommend it to anyone who is interested in reading books about mental health wherein nothing gets glamorized, or those who want to read an impactful story. Because this certainly made an impact on me. This is the third book that I read for the #DiverseAThon, which ran from the 22nd to the 29th of January 2017.

***This review has also been posted on The Social PotatoIt would seem that 2015 is the year of all the fantastic books because here I am, finding yet another favorite. This book is gorgeously, frightengly written and it will find a way to creep inside your heart and hold it hostage. I make this book sound scary and believe me, it is.I don’t read a lot of books that deal with mental illness because admittedly, I am a chicken but this book called to me. I don’t know if it was the cover, or how the synopsis spoke of an adventure to the deep trenches (oh how I adore my adventures!). Whatever it was, I am glad that I decided to bite the bullet and read this, no matter how scared I was, because I would be missing out on a beautiful piece of work.I know there are many times I’ve said that I don’t know how I to start describing or book or put my feelings down on paper but I don’t think it’s been more true ever before. I keep trying to think of where I want to start talking about the actual book but I feel so insufficient, I don’t think anything I can say is enough for this beautiful gorgeous book and the sensitivity with which Neal dealt with something as delicate as mental illness.Neal masterfully switches between two different timelines, the ‘real’ one and the ‘imaginary’ one. But really, what is real and imaginary? His use of second person in certain chapters was so gorgeous and almost moved me to tears. It really helped readers see Caden slowly spiraling out of control and it was heartbreaking.I couldn’t not talk about this book while reading it. I had to stop and read some pieces outloud to my friends just to have someone understand the emotional journey this book was taking me on and how terrifying it was!Neal makes Caden such a believable character and it’s impossible not to root for him. We see him muddled as a result of the drugs that he is given, we see him when the lines between reality and the imaginary start blurring and we see him coherent. I think what makes Caden so incredibly fantastic to read about is that even within all these various phases we see him in, nothing can strip him of what makes him, him. Which is what makes it all the more heartbreaking to see him in this muddled state where he floats in and out of reality, seeing things that aren’t there.What also makes Caden’s character so effective is that Neal never attempts to diagnose Caden, he mentions certain illness’ but he never really gives us a confirmed diagnosis, so those of us who are curious cats can rest in peace and continue to enjoy the story but still don't necessarily know what is going on with Caden. I don’t think it’s important to know Caden's diagnosis though. Neal does a fantastic job of showing you what is going on with Caden that giving a name to what is happening to him wouldn’t really change anything.Neal so fantastically develops the secondary characters as well and what made me especially happy was that Caden’s parents weren't shown as the bad guys! Maybe they could have caught on earlier but it is clear that they only want what is best for their son. They don’t abandon him to deal with this illness on his own. They are there, trying to help him even if they aren’t sure what is the best way of dealing with the situation on hand.That said, the secondary characters are not a huge part of this novel. The book remains Caden’s story and nothing can change that.I also absolutely ADORED the parallels between the real and imaginary worlds and it really helped readers see how hard it was for Caden to cling to reality in those moments. We see things in the real world that we had only seen in the imaginary world before and things click. Through the imaginary world, we really get to see aspects of the situation we might not have in the real world and it broke my heart.I will admit that this book was a little confusing at the beginning but when the parallels made themselves more evident, I really started enjoying the book.  I don't think that everything is meant to make sense right away because we are being immersed within the mind of someone suffering from a mental illness. It's why I never saw my confusion as a bad thing.This is a skilfully written novel and one I will not be forgetting anytime soon. Neal knows exactly what he is doing. Caden’s journey is beautiful to read about and while I know that this is not a book for everyone, it is still one I would want more people to read because of how important it is. So, if you’re scared, don’t be, there is a good chance you’ll fall head over heels for this gorgeous book, just like I did.