Getting to Yes with Yourself audiobook

Well written book by Dr. Ury for understanding how to better negotiate with others by getting yourself on your own team. After reading "Getting To Yes" I felt this book added more anecdotal evidence on how to better employ those methods (on a supplementary basis). In a nutshell, I felt this was a quick and engaging read.NOTES:- Be present- Put yourself in their shoes- Develop your inner BATNA- Role-play and understand how things are going from the other person's perspective- What is your deepest need? What are you really fighting for?- Learn to spend more time on the balcony, learn to distance yourself from the emotional reactions. You are not your emotions- Say Yes to your needs- Think about the other persons needs- The best way to listen to others is to genuinely respect them and understand their frame of reference/content behind the message- Respond to the other party (when fired up) by including them versus excluding them from a conversation

Such an awesome book! It took me a while to finish this book because of how busy I was, but I am so glad that I was able to finish it! It is way more important to get to yes with yourself than with others, I think. I highlighted so many paragraphs, it is ridiculous! 🤣🤣🤣 Definitely recommending!

Must read for anyone and everyone looking to uncover and understand the six simple yet very effective steps to negotiating yourself and others to a pleasant Yes. Start by resisting the tendency to being impulsive and seeing things differently.

Love this book!

Look in the mirror every day and see the person who most stands in your way.

I don't know if I can rave enough about this book. It is clear-headed, insightful, wise and practical. It is life advice of the highest order. A long time ago I'd read the book's precursor, Getting to Yes, and was so impressed. I still often think of the acronym, BATNA, (best alternative to a negotiated agreement) it gave and use it in many life situations I encounter. Getting to Yes with Yourself and Other Worthy Opponents builds on this and brings in priceless more practical wisdom.For starters, the author, William Ury, is a very bright guy. He is not playing around like so many popularizers of the self-help movement, slapping their own title on somebody else's hard-won insights. Ury has his own insights, and they've come from long years of experience. He knows what works. (And don't we all know how vast the distance is between somebody who kind of knows their stuff and somebody who knows their stuff? Imagine a doctor who says, "I think that mole will be all right.") The book is not a collection of quotations by any means, but the quotations Ury cites are brilliant in reinforcing his points. Einstein: "Is the universe a friendly place?"Ury: "Einstein reasoned that, if we see the universe as basically hostile, we will naturally treat others as enemies."Longfellow: "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."Ury: "It was yet another confirmation for me of the wisdom of setting prejudgment aside and, instead, putting myself in the place of another person with dreams, loves, and grief."Edwin Markham: "He drew a circle that shut me out/ Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout/But love and I had the wit to win/We drew a circle that took him in!"Ury: That from the chapter titled Respect Them Even IfThere is so much wisdom in this book I felt my resentments and fears just falling off of me as I read. I'm going to buy it for friends and family and I'll be re-reading it time and time again. I can certainly relate to this:In the morning when I look at myself in the mirror, I like to remind myself that I am seeing the person who is probably going to give me the most trouble that day, the opponent who will be the biggest obstacle to me getting what I truly want.True enough, right? But this book is about much more than just getting what you want for yourself. It's like Ury says, a way to go beyond "win-win" to "win-win-win." Winning for yourself, winning for the guy on the other side and winning for the world.

As a great fan of the Harvard Negotiation Project, this book by one of it's founders is not to be missed. As Ury states it is in fact the prequel to 'Getting to Yes' (one of the best books on negotiation). Before you enter a negotiation, you have to negotiate with yourself; you have to make up your mind on what's really important to yourself. The book contains a lot of examples of real life situations and difficult negotiations and therefore gives great insight in the process behind it. Very well recommended.

A primeira grande vitória na negociação é obter o sim com você mesmo. Não é mera retórica, é a realidade, pois muitas vezes nós lutamos arduamente contra nossos próprios interesses. O livro exemplifica vários casos e entre eles o conflito entre Abílio Diniz e os sócios francesas que felizmente foi resolvido ao melhor estilo ganha-ganha-ganha, mas existem infinitos exemplos da vida real como, por exemplo, a incapacidade de perdoar ante o sentimento de injustiça ou pelo medo de julgamento social, mesmo que essa seja a melhor saída para o sucesso dos nossos projetos de futuro.O autor cita o "Complexo de Jonas" para definir a relutância contra a mentalidade ganha-ganha, pois na cultura de escassez que vivemos somos levados a crer que para ganhar alguém tem que perder, somos dominados por mesquinhez e uma noção de injustiça descontextualizada. A realidade é que nem sempre é preciso alguém perder para o outro ganhar e um exemplo é o de Jonas que cumpriria o seu propósito como profeta atendendo ao seu chamado de pregar na capital do império Assírio e os ninivitas também ganhariam a salvação e misericórdia de Deus após a pregação de Jonas. A lógica litigiosa está arraigada, mas nem sempre é verdadeira e o autor discorre detalhadamente sobre seis passos para obter o sim consigo mesmo, para que não sejamos nós mesmos obstáculos para a obtenção da vida que desejamos. Veja a seguir a transcrição que consta da página 96 do livro:1. Coloque-se no seu lugar. Você consegue perceber a intromissão do censor interior noseu trabalho – e apenas observar os próprios pensamentos e sentimentos, sem julgálos? Para que necessidades básicas apontam os seus sentimentos? Do que vocêrealmente precisa?2. Desenvolva sua Batna interior. Você está culpando alguém ou algo por não satisfazeros seus interesses? Que benefícios isso lhe oferece – e quais são os custos? É capaz de secomprometer a cuidar de suas necessidades mais profundas, não importa o queaconteça?3. Reenquadre seu panorama. Você acha que a vida, de alguma maneira, é sua inimiga?Como construiria sua felicidade hoje? Se a vida é difícil, você poderia, ainda assim,dizer sim a ela, da maneira como é?4. Mantenha-se no presente. Você cultiva ressentimentos do passado ou tem ansiedadequanto ao futuro? O que seria necessário para você relaxar e aceitar a vida como ela é?O que poderia fazer para se manter no presente, ou em estado de fluxo, uma condiçãopsicológica de alta performance e de grande satisfação?5. Respeite os outros. Você está sentindo algum antagonismo em relação a alguém?Qual é a sensação de estar no lugar dessas pessoas? Mesmo que não lhe demonstremrespeito, você poderia ainda assim respeitá-las?6. Saiba dar e receber. Você sente medo da escassez em qualquer situação que estejaenfrentando hoje? De que precisará para mudar o jogo de tomar para doar, de ganha-perde para ganha-ganha-ganha?Leiam! Eu super recomendo e vou ler os outros livros desse autor porque ele é simplesmente maravilhoso.

Uma virada de chave importante pra mim na hora que precisava dela. Muito transformador relembrar que a saúde das nossas relações, inicia com a saúde com nós mesmos. O quanto operar em um modelo de negação e resistência com o que acontece na vida, fortalece uma mentalidade de desconfiança, consequentemente escassez e defensiva projetando no exterior a responsabilidade e culpa pelas nossas necessidades não atendidas. Esse livro, me fez relembrar e revisitar a forma como me responsabilizo pelas minhas necessidades e me sensibilizar da importância de lembrar sempre que no fim dá tudo certo e a vida está ao meu lado. O caminho para que a vida, eu e os outros deixem de serem inimigos para aliados mesmo nas situações mais difíceis. Que presente esse livro.

Amazing book! I’ve attempted to read “self-help” books in the past, many of them very informative, yet not having completed one of them in its entirety. This is my official FIRST one that I’ve read completely. It was that good. I’m going to now revisit the others because I see how they can assist what I’ve learned from this book. The material is simple, yet new and fresh, and immediately accessible for everyday application. The examples used range from extreme to common, but all of them visually drive the points home with great practicality. I loved it and have already recommended it to people who I know will benefit from it as much as I have. Read it! You will not be disappointed.

** spoiler alert ** "When we react, we give away our power to influence the other person constructively and to change the situation for the better."By William Ury (Getting to Yes with Yourself)This book falls under the genre of mindfulness and compassion. The one thing which distinguishes it from other books in the same genre is it's practically. Techniques such as Respect even if you rejected and many more , forms the base for all high stakes negotiations. The one thing that could be improved is to avoid saying same thing multiple times.I won't say it is next best book after "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnigie. But it is a gem in it's own rights.Read it! And most importantly use the principles in your daily life!

Another piece to the puzzleJust as “Getting to Yes” is a thorough, well written book on negotiation, this book covers the step before. I was one of those who intellectually understood the logic of getting to yes with others but in real life it always fell back to win-lose. By reading this book however I now realize that of course it didn’t work! I had spent most of my life avoiding my own needs, seeing only scarcity. The steps outlined are simple but not easy, building upon each other. They have helped me radical improve my own life which in turn fuels my desire to help others. And that is the source of true happiness. Excellent book, worth the read!

"Getting to Yes" is one of the standards in business negotiation—emphasizing the value and process of negotiating in good faith towards a winning situation for all parties. In this book, Ury dives into the complexities of understanding ourselves, the first partner in a negotiation. Through case studies and experiences, he demonstrates how many conflict negotiations are founded in bad faith towards ourselves—becoming our own worst enemies, and undermining opportunities for a successful outcome. Here, Ury shows how to apply his negotiation tactics to ourselves—a win within—so that we can go on to win with others. Recommended, although at times a bit self-helpy.

Good book overall. My bookmarks "TO OBSERVE WITHOUT JUDGEMENT = highest form of intelligence" (39.18) | "1. Remember your connection to life 2. Remember your power for your own happiness 3rd. Remember the lessons life brings you" (1.47.56) | "The most successful people in life are GIVERS not TAKERS" (3.37.10) | "CharityWater - builds water wells for 100s of 1000's of people" | And finally "The 6 Steps for the inner YES movement: 1. Put yourself in your shoes 2. Develop your inner BATNA 3. Reframe your picture 4. Stay in the zone 5. Respect them even if.. 6. Give and receive" (4.13.20)

The basic premise of this book is to help us understand how we need to stop ourselves from being/ becoming the biggest roadblock in our lives. How we need to learn to negotiate with ourselves first and be in that zone where we can best negotiate with others to walk away with the best deal which would be a win for us, win for others and a win for the overall good of this world. Overall an excellent read and a new way to look at how we think of ourselves in the context of how we interact with others in this world.

A common theme among disparate authors seems to be a perspective shift from personal to communal through increased conscientiousness and selflessness. This can seem counterproductive in a business sense, but apparently it pays off in more than happiness, as if happiness were not all we really seek. The entire “Getting to Yes” series demonstrated treating others with dignity and respect often yields more for everyone than impersonal, positions based negotiation. This book gets at why we want what we want, and perhaps how our goals or approaches sometimes get in the way of true happiness.

** spoiler alert ** A book on how to negotiate a “Yes” with yourself. Pros: -quick read - easy to understand “system” for getting a “yes” in negotiations with yourself and others - the system works if you use it regularly Cons: - The system could have been explained just as easily in a much shorter online article. Final taught on the book: I would recommend borrowing it from a library or friend. It does what it says it will...teach you how to “get a a yes with yourself and other worthy opponents.