Heroine audiobook

I am not a wasted person. I am not prowling the streets. I am not an addict. I am a girl spinning her locker combination. I am a girl who got a B on her math test. I am a girl who has two holes on the inside of her arm, but they do not tell the whole story of me. This book left me feeling hollow. By this I mean that it hit me so hard in so many different ways that I now feel emptied out. Saying it is "sad" is not enough. "Horrifying" is closer to the truth, but that seems too sensational. When I wake up, all my friends are dead. Heroine starts with ^this arresting sentence that grabbed my attention and made my jaw drop. Then it jumps back in time. The following build-up to the horror you know is coming is a quiet, introspective slippery slope. It's about a girl with a bright future, an accident, a harmless prescription that became not enough, just one more, denial, just two more, lying, more and more, stealing. All building up to the inevitable climax.The book comes with a trigger warning and recovering addicts should heed it. There are details about needles and the process of drug use, but also - and I think this is the most emotionally-challenging thing of all - a close look at the mental place Mickey finds herself in. It is very easy to understand how drugs become an attractive option to her, and how it escalates into an obsession, followed by lying to her family, her friends, and herself.McGinnis doesn't go easy on us. She does not sugarcoat the horrible lengths Mickey will go to for her next fix. The author is neither finger-wagging in her attitude to drugs, nor simplistic in the portrayal of Mickey herself. Though I found Mickey a highly sympathetic character, you can also see how she alienates those around her through her actions. I felt a little panicked as I followed Mickey on her downward spiral. This smart girl with a promising softball career ahead of her... seeing her life fall apart, piece by small piece, is terrifying. Her addiction steals her sense of morality, of right and wrong. The relief she feels over getting new pills eclipses any shame or guilt she might have otherwise felt.I also really appreciated all the nuanced relationships in the book. Mickey is adopted and her adoptive parents are divorced after her father had an affair. Now he is having a baby with his new wife and this causes complications between them all, but I think it is done very well. I especially liked the strange and begrudging mutual respect that grows between Mickey's mom and her dad's new wife, Devra. The friendships that are made and the ones that fall apart over the course of the novel are complex and feel real, too.Also, I'd just like to say that I really like how McGinnis constantly tries new things with her writing. She doesn't stick to trends, but instead writes unique and interesting stories. Few authors do this. Patrick Ness is another one. Of course this means her books can be hit and miss for me, but I really appreciate the attempt to go somewhere new. I highly recommend Heroine for contemporary fans who are in a good mental place.Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Youtube

Four addicted, compelling, tragic stars! Mindy McGinnis is one of the most amazing writers and storyteller, grabs your heart, steals a huge Parton it by creating her realistic, flawed, natural characters. As soon as you take back your heart, you feel like so many things, especially your perceptions about life, family, friends already change with it.The first few pages of the book like a ticking bomb about to explode! So you start to turn pages quickly to reach the spot at the beginning.At this book our heroine Mickey Catalan is a successful softball player. Playing is her life, her future, team members are her only friends so when you are at the risk of losing the thing that defines you perfectly, you do whatever it takes to keep it! When you think like that everything makes sense, right! But it isn’t! Because after her traffic accident, Mickey starts suffering from too many surgeries , her leg hurts! Every part of her body starts to betray her! So she finds the most harmful way to protect herself not to suffer more . She becomes a drug addict! Pills help her ease her inner psychological and physical pain,endure her parental issues, numbs her feelings, her aching leg. She does whatever it takes to hold her position at her team even it results with losing herself , selling her soul, happiness, her future to the drugs!!Mickey’s journey to the dark roads of her self destruction takes her so many dangerous places. McGinnis did a perfect job by telling her journey so objectively, you cannot judge her , despise or detest her. She is not flawless, she made so many bad choices and she knows how to differentiate right and wrong but she just choses the bad things and eventually she pays for her mistakes.This is not heart and flowers kinda book! It’s terrifying, depressing and blood freezing one, so this is not for everyone! If you’re ready to take a dark journey, face with the addiction issue with a fresh perspective and also ready to put aside your biased opinions about the drug addicts, this may be the right choice!At least, the bomb that I was expected to explode at the end was dismantled! Thanks to the writer, my heart rates turned to the normal. 😃

This book was heavy, but SO good. Wow.TW: extremely realistic & descriptive drug use (anyone recovering from addiction should proceed with caution)

fulfilling my 2021 goal to read one book each month by an author i love that i haven’t gotten around to reading yetthis is a very visceral and emotionally wrenching story, which is the tone i've come to expect from mcginnis, even though all of the books i've read by her so far have been wildly different in terms of subject matter and her approach to her subject matter. Heroine is, thematically, a straightforward contemporary YA problem novel: a high-performing high school athlete is severely injured in a car accident and becomes addicted to prescription painkillers. however, its opening line: When I wake up, all my friends are dead is the kind of grim gutpunch that mcginnis excels at deploying.none of what happens, plotwise, is unexpected in this kind of cautionary addiction tale: the slippery slope of a girl abusing drugs, deluding herself that she's got it all under control even as she begins crossing so many lines; lying and stealing and compromising her relationships with her friends and family while she descends deeper into addiction and graduates from oxy to heroin. it's the way that mcginnis explores this generic theme that elevates it into something noteworthy; the uncomfortable immersion into mickey's mind as she becomes more dependent on drugs, gradually unmooring herself from her former life and its support system until she has essentially isolated herself in her addiction. in a town where high school sports are a very big deal, mickey is as hometown-famous for her athleticism as she is for her tough guy attitude. after the car accident (which pops her hip out of its socket like a barbie doll, exposing all the inside-stuff), mickey wants so badly to recover from her injuries in time to join her team for the upcoming season that she pops her prescribed oxy like candy, dulling the pain so she can get back to training. while this method works, and everyone is mightily impressed with how quickly she is 'recovering,' she soon runs out of her legit medication and has to scramble to get more in order to stay on target. it's all very powerfully realized on the page—her impatience with her body as it struggles to heal, her justification that her drugtaking is for the good of the team, and, despite her awareness that there's an opioid epidemic killing local folks, her rationalization that what she's doing is only temporary, and she's not destined to become a statistic like those other people, even as she throws herself into her addiction with the same single-mindedness that enabled her to become an all-star catcher.I admit to myself that I am a heroin user, while also updating in my mind what that actually means. I am not a wasted person. I am not prowling the streets. I am not an addict. I am a girl spinning her locker combination. I am a girl who got a B on her math test. I am a girl who has two holes on the inside of her arm, but they do not tell the whole story of me.the most impressive tendril of this plot is the sly shift as mickey's self-medicating becomes more about how it makes her feel than how it manages her pain. she's always been formidable on the field, but she's never been good in social situations, and the unexpected side effect of the drugs is that they smooth away her social anxieties, giving her the confidence she's never experienced along with a false sense of invincibility. the character work is excellent, and everyone feels authentic—the locker room banter between her teammates, mickey's complex family dynamics, the way she compartmentalizes her behaviors between her sports-friends and her drug-friends, and the widening gulf between her old and new priorities—everything reads horrifyingly real.it's not as surprising and original as some of her other works, but it takes a been-there-done-that kind of plot and blows it out of the conventional waters with that trademark intensity that is mcginnis' superpower. come to my blog!!

2022 Rating: I don't know if I'll ever get tired of reading this book. It isn't an easy read in the least bit, but McGinnis truly has a gift for capturing the emotional roller-coaster that often goes hand in hand with addiction. This book would make a great selection for a book club. And it's one of those books that makes me want to read it again as soon as I finish it. Oh goodness this book was powerful. It’s a true testament to the opioid crisis here in America and it proves that addiction doesn’t always look the way that we think it does. What I do know is that this book is going to stay with me for a while. My heart truly goes out to Mickey and her family. This book definitely doesn’t have a feel good tone or even a happy ending so if that’s what you’re looking for then stay away from this book. It’s real, it’s gritty and I felt her want and need in her addiction as I read her story. I’ll definitely be doing a full written review of this one. Trigger Warnings: Detailed description of drug use & it’s effects

Whoa, this book was intense!!! I wasn’t feeling this book at first, I was ready to give up on it. But it grew on me, it’s addictive, no pun intended. How quickly things got out of hand, the desperation and callousness was surreal. A very unique, well written story, kudos to the author.

Review to come when my heart doesn't hurt so much.

4.5 starsI've read three books by this author and once again, I am impressed with her writing talent. Addiction is a topic that has been explored in many fiction books, but yet after reading this book, I felt like it was covered it in a way that was unique but also very realistic. A worthwhile read for sure.High school senior Mickey is determined to have a standout softball season this year. The better she plays, the more likely she will receive scholarship offers for college. But a car accident leaves her badly injured right before the start of the season. Mickey is determined to not miss a game and she needs to quickly get her body in shape. Physical therapy by itself isn't going to get her where she needs to be so she turns to painkillers. Despite the fact the story is about a teenager with an addiction, for the most part I didn't feel like this was a heavy read and I actually think that is one of the strengths of the novel. Don't get me wrong, there are some emotional moments in the book, but I never felt overwhelmed by the story. It was straightforward and was a realistic portrayal of how easy it is to slip into addiction. When comparing it to other books I have read on the topic, this one managed to get all the main points across but in a way that was easier to mentally process. That's my opinion though as maybe other readers will find it to be a difficult read.What was fascinating to me was Mickey became addicted to painkillers because she had goals and she wasn't going to let anything stand in her way. She wanted the ability to function like she did before the accident and painkillers were supposed to aid her in getting back to normal. The author took a unique approach as most stories would have focused on a teenager using painkillers only as a coping mechanism rather than trying to achieve something. I think as a society we tend to associate teenage drug use with only partying but in doing so you are forgetting about all the kids who are using things like painkillers just to get through life. The story hits close to home because you realize Mickey could be anyone you know. Definitely recommend as a good book to show how easy it is to slip into drug addiction.

tw: addiction, substance abuse (heroine, oxy). Heroine is REALLY GRAPHIC and I urge you NOT TO READ THIS if you’re not in a good place.​(ARC provided by Edelweiss in exchange for a honest review)I honestly don't know if I have the words right now. This was... heartbreaking, raw, sad and yet hopeful ? Heroine tells the story of Mickey, a softball player, who gets into a car accident. An “innocent” prescription of Oxycontin makes Mickey want to “chase the dragon” meaning she wants to feel again the bliss of taking that first pill. But it’s never enough.Heroine was a hard book to read for me. It’s raw and brutal. I’m not used to reading heavy-themed books, so this was kind of a first for me. Diving into Mickey’s universe was, uncomfortable and felt wrong but I strongly believe that this is one of the reasons why this book is good.💫Full review posted on my blog💫

3.5 starsThis wasn’t a favorite, but in the end it still hit me like a truck. Not everyone can write about very hard topics like Mindy McGinnis does. She just knows where and when to hit you. And she always leaves a mark. Mom would blame herself for not seeing it. Dad would feel guilty for not being here to notice. [...] Coach would be done with me, since our school has a zero-tolerance drug policy. I imagine the harsh cutoff of Mom’s laughter when I tell her, the collapse of each face as they flood with disappointment.Or I can reach for the bottle, knowing that one pill can fix it, restore my balance and put my skin back in the right place and realign my bones, my feet planted firmly on the ground in the morning. Those are my choices. I can derail the lives of everyone I care about, or I can take one white pill and make it all better.When you think about it that way, it’s easy. I empathized with the main character way too much. At the beginning I felt for her, as the doctor gave her the world’s worst prescription, then I disapproved of her increasingly wrong choices, but still I understood her. I was constantly worried that they would find her out, and scared about what that would mean for her softball career and college.The escalation Mickey went through, from Oxy to Heroin, from believing she needed help for the pain and that she could stop at any moment to accepting she is an addict was amazingly done. It felt REAL. It was a scary and realistic depiction of an addict’s descent into obsession. Except now, if I keep using it’s not because I’m fighting off an injury or for some noble self-sacrifice to keep the team going strong so Carolina can shine. If I keep using now, it’s because I want to.And yeah, I want to. [...]Because if I’m an addict I might as well go ahead and just be one.Fuck it. For sure this book was impactful. I’m sad it wasn’t a five stars in the end because it was too drawn out. It wasn’t boring, but 400 pages for this was too long, since it wasn’t an action-driven book. I am of this opinion especially after reading the end, which I think was too rushed compared to the rest. This could have possibly been a better book if those 100 pages in the middle of the book were actually at the end of the book. This might just be me, though. At the same time, I loved that the end was both bittersweet and hopeful for the future because it’s exactly what this story needed.Since the book starts with the deaths of Mickey’s friends, I was also expecting that event to mean more. Mainly, I wished it had a bigger part in the book instead of being very close to the end. Nonetheless, it was still shocking, even if I knew it would happen eventually. The author’s note at the end literally killed me. Knowing that she took inspiration from something that really happened to her made this entire story all the more real and upsetting. It’s weird that I don’t have a need to read more books about this topic now, but is it really? Opioids treat pain, yes, but they also allow the user a sense of relief and peace, something that people suffering from mental and emotional trauma are in deep need of. The ease of a trapdoor out of a sometimes cruel reality proves too tempting for many.

Wow wow wow. If you're in a good and healthy mental state please read this book. It's so eye opening and heart breaking.

4 starsMindy McGinnis is one of the most versatile and consistently amazing writers I know of. All of her books are stunning and range from a little dark to SUPER DARK, all while being some of the best teen literature I’ve ever read. Somehow, she effortlessly gets to the root of something with a narrative style that fits the story, and her latest novel, Heroine, was no exception to this streak of consistently great books. Honestly? Heroine is the darkest, scariest book Mindy’s written that I’ve read. What makes it so scary is that it’s so real–it’s happening to regular people in our modern world, and that makes it 100x more of a gut-punch than any fantasy novel. Heroine is dark. It’s gruesome. It’s really really really scary. And it’s real.Heroine starts out with Mickey Catalan–regular teen in a small town, hoping to get a scholarship for softball, which is a huge part of her life. And then she gets in a car crash and is prescribed Oxy. And then she wants more. And then and then and then and then. The way McGinnis sets this up is what ultimately makes this so relatable–and therefore more emotional–for the reader. It’s just Mickey, softball player. She knows about the opioid epidemic in her town, but that’s not her.And slowly, very slowly throughout the book, we see Mickey become addicted. To Oxy, and then heroin. It happens so naturally, so subtly, over a series of justifications, that you can’t help but look back and go “Wow. I never would have known.” In the end, Mickey’s best friend Carolina who was in the crash with her asks “Why you and not me?” And there’s no good answer to that, and Mickey doesn’t have one either. This is what makes this book so frightening (but wholly necessary). It brings the reader–who might ~know~ about this, but don’t empathize–so much closer to what addiction is like and how it happens. I fully admit that I live a very sheltered life and although I ~know~ about addiction and drugs through education, I’ve never been exposed to it. And Mickey wasn’t either. That’s what scared out of my pants by this book. There’s no formula to how addiction works, and suddenly everything became more personal. Although Heroine‘s goal isn’t to teach–it brought the topic so much closer to the reader. It made them understand Mickey’s shoes and how it can happen. That is what I believe is this book’s greatest triumph. And it’s a damn good story, too. I do have to add that the reason I took off a star is in part because I have to be able to differentiate McGinnis’ work (if I five star all of them, you’ll never know which I like best?) and also because a few of the hints McGinnis dropped along the way read a little too obvious to me. (A minor qualm, really.)I’d put this tied in second place with Given to the Sea, with first being The Female of the Species and third being A Madness So Discreet. Ultimately, I cannot attest to the accuracy of Heroine, although people I know who have been personally affected by addiction and have talked about how great this was, so I like to think McGinnis did a good job of portraying it.(Also, I really love what Erin Fitzsimmons did with the cover and Heroine/Heroin/Her!)So overall, this was great. Which I totally expected. I just never expected how hard this book would hit me. Thank you so much to Harper Collins and Edelweiss for providing me with a digital review copy in exchange for an honest review!--initial thoughts upon finishing:okay wow that was very scary and very intensenot sure what to rate it yet and it's one of mcginnis' darker books so just be prepared if you intend to read!!!Blog | Instagram | Twitter

I started this novel this afternoon and haven’t put it down.Mickey was such a complex character and such a good protagonist to bring the story to life. The author’s acknowledgements also show she put her time into researching this topic.This is a heavy book,make no mistake. There are no punches pulled in the first chapter but it’s a book definitely worth reading. The brutal honesty opens yours eyes to the reality for a lot of people.

It's 3.5 stars, but I'm rounding up. It's dark and I'm driving exactly the speed limit, because I am a good girl. I am a student athlete and the catcher for an undefeated softball team and a senior who needs to get a good night's sleep before her last league game.....I am not an addict. I have a LOT of thoughts on this one, but I need to say this one first, and say it very loudly: Mickey's mother is one of my all time favorite fictional moms. I LOVE HER.Don't worry I'll say it again, I'm sure.I can't believe this is only my second Mindy McGinnis, the other one being Not a Drop to Drink. She's wonderfully talented.The story at the core of Heroine is pretty straightforward. Girl gets injured, girl gets prescribed powerful painkillers, girl ends up with an opiate addiction.So you know where the story is going from the get go. (view spoiler)[Not to mention that scene of a mass overdose that gets spoiled during the prologue. Which I didn't love. The scene is fine, but I don't think the story benefits at all from the placement. (hide spoiler)] Heroine doesn't deliver grand surprises, but is chock full of nuanced characters and emotionally layered writing.Also, shout out to the AWESOME dear reader / dedication included in the ARC, which I dearly hope made it to the final print. It warns the reader without being like 'omg, my story is so dark and messed up, sensitive people need not apply.' Because I hate those kinds of disclaimers, the ones that write off any criticism by saying the reader must not be able to handle it or it's too mature for them. Lemme shout loud and proud:But this touching and honest advisory passes my test.Lets talk about Mickey's mom. Because she is one of the greatest book parents I've read. Annette is a tiny blonde OBGYN, who loves her adopted daughter Mickey fiercely. She's divorced, but teams up with her ex-husband when Mickey is badly injured in a car accident. She does her best to get along with Devra, the second wife, but can't hide her sadness at seeing Devra's pregnant belly that she herself will never have. She embarrasses her daughter with "Netflix and chili" jokes! Her vibe is very similar to Olive Penderghast's parents. The tone of Heroine is a little more serious for obvious reasons, but the comparison stands. And if you don't know who I'm talking about, I suggest you watch Easy A immediately. I'm doing things I usually wouldn't, saying things I normally couldn't.Right now, I'm not me.And I'm so damn happy. Heroine does a great job detailing exactly how an addiction happens. No one starts out taking painkillers and saying, "whelp, I guess I'd better get addicted to these now!" It just slowly becomes more and more, one more pill, I don't need them, I just need them for now, just two more.The story makes you feel the increasing desperation, the bliss that comes with falling into that opioid haze, and the wedge it drives between people, between life as you once knew it. There was no coasting through this book. I do wish we'd gotten a chapter or two of Mickey's life before the accident, or even flashbacks. Yes, I connected emotionally to the story, but not necessary to Mickey herself. I felt deeply for what was happening, but not so much for who it was happening to. Does that make any sense at all? Maybe. Just pretend it does. There are no tears here, no room for anything other than the feeling that everything is all right, and always will be, and always has been. I can't say Heroine knocked my socks off, but it did lots of things very well - realism, impactful storytelling, and lovely writing. There were some drawbacks, but looking at the big picture, it's a finely told tale of a horrible thing.*Quotes taken from proof copy and subject to change.Thanks to Edelweiss and Katherine Tegen Books for the drc!*["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

"I am not a wasted person. I am not prowling the streets. I am not an addict. I am a girl spinning her locker combination. I am a girl who got a B on her math test. I am a girl who has two holes on the inside of her arm, but they do not tell the whole story of me."This book left me feeling hollow. By this I mean that it hit me so hard in so many different ways that I now feel emptied out. Saying it is "sad" is not enough. "Horrifying" is closer to the truth, but that seems too sensational.PLOT(The book comes with a trigger warning and recovering addicts should heed it.) HEROINE shines a light on the young people affected by America's opioid crisis. Mickey Catalan is a good, well-liked teen. She's honest and hardworking and a star of her championship softball team. In fact, softball is her life, her passion. When Mickey and her best friend get into a serious car accident, Mickey is anxious to recover in time to play her senior season and secure a spot on a college team. She's prescribed OxyContin for her pain and discovers she loves the warm, painless cocoon the drug provides. Convincing herself that she should keep taking it until she's back in shape and playing well, she betrays the trust of her family and friends to get the drug illegally. Her descent into addiction and her need to hide her drug use upends her relationships with those who love her. With her life and future on the line, Mickey needs to face some hard truths about her behavior and her health, but the drugs make it far too easy to ignore these important problems and let her life slip away.THOUGHTSThis is raw and eye-opening. Everyone has heard stories of people becoming addicted to opioids, and maybe known someone with a similar experience to the book. However, being from a user's point of view, the readers can see just how slippery the slope of addiction is, even including phrases like "I can quit any time". This book gave me chills, but it was so good. Maybe not recommended for younger kids because of the mature topics, but recommended for older kids because like I said, eye-opening.P.S- THIS BOOK WILL LEAVE YOU HEART BROKEN...

Heroine was an inspiring read. Addictions are bad is a lesson to be learnt from the novel. If you do not control yourself and your addiction your life will be fucked up real bad.

I admit to myself that I am a heroin user, while also updating in my mind what that actually means. I am not a wasted person. I am not prowling the streets. I am not an addict. I am a girl spinning her locker combination. I am a girl who got a B on her math test. I am a girl who has two holes on the inside of her arm, but they do not tell the whole story of me. 📚 Series:  No, Standalone.📚 Genre: YA Realistic Fiction📚 POV:  Frist person.📚 Cliffhanger: No.⚠ Content Warnings:  Graphic description of drug use, drug abuse, withdrawals, and effects. Car crash. Stealing. Being inside the mind of an addict craving for drugs. Lying. Mentions of abortion.⚠ Read if: you are willing and able to read something about drugs so intensely. Not for people who are still recovering from addiction.There's just something about the writing of Mindy McGinnis that can capture and blow you away. It's been weeks since I started reading this and a few days since I finished but everything still feels so raw and real that I feel my heart clenching while I am reading this.I cannot deny how awesome this book is and how much I felt reading through this. This book, like the other Mindy McGinnis book I have read, is as dark as it goes. If you are looking for hope, that's not what you will get with this one.Mindy McGinnis does no form of sugarcoating as she tells the story of Micky Catalan. She just gets on with how addiction develops and how it can happen anyone - even the town's star athlete. She has shown how it starts, how it intensifies, and how it can all spiral downwards.To be honest, I know her books can be a hit or miss for many as she tends to brave topics that other authors shy away from. But for me, personally, this book is a great one, I am a forever fan, and I am looking forward to reading her other works.☁ THE CRITERIA ☁🌼 Blurb:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌼 Main Character:⭐⭐⭐⭐☆🌼 Support Characters:⭐⭐⭐⭐☆🌼 Writing Style:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌼 Character Development:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌼 Thrill Factor: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌼 Pacing: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌼 Ending: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌼 Unputdownability: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌼 Book Cover:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ☁FINAL VERDICT: 4.81/5 ☁ Much thanks to National Book Store for this complimentary copy that I got from MIBF 2018. This review is voluntary and opinions are fully my own. Also, all quotes are taken from the ARC and may be different in the final published copy. 📚 Blog ♡ Bookstagram ♡ Facebook ♡ Twitter 📚