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How to Forget audiobook

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How to Forget Audiobook Summary

In this profoundly honest and examined memoir about returning to Iowa to care for her ailing parents, the star of Orange Is the New Black and bestselling author of Born with Teeth takes us on an unexpected journey of loss, betrayal, and the transcendent nature of a daughter’s love for her parents.

They say you can’t go home again. But when her father is diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer and her mother with atypical Alzheimer’s, New York-based actress Kate Mulgrew returns to her hometown in Iowa to spend time with her parents and care for them in the time they have left.

The months Kate spends with her parents in Dubuque–by turns turbulent, tragic, and joyful–lead her to reflect on each of their lives and how they shaped her own. Those ruminations are transformed when, in the wake of their deaths, Kate uncovers long-kept secrets that challenge her understanding of the unconventional Irish Catholic household in which she was raised.

Breathtaking and powerful, laced with the author’s irreverent wit, How to Forget is a considered portrait of a mother and a father, an emotionally powerful memoir that demonstrates how love fuses children and parents, and an honest examination of family, memory, and indelible loss.

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How to Forget Audiobook Narrator

Kate Mulgrew is the narrator of How to Forget audiobook that was written by Kate Mulgrew

Kate Mulgrew, a native of Dubuque, Iowa, is an actress and author with an extensive career on stage and screen. From her start as Mary Ryan, the lead role on the popular soap opera Ryan’s Hope to the groundbreaking first female starship captain on Star Trek: Voyager to her acclaimed performance as Galina “Red” Reznikov on Netflix’s smash hit Orange Is The New Black, Kate brings a formidable presence and deep passion to all her projects. Her 2016 book, Born With Teeth, allowed her to add “New York Times bestselling author” to her resume. 

About the Author(s) of How to Forget

Kate Mulgrew is the author of How to Forget

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How to Forget Full Details

Narrator Kate Mulgrew
Length 12 hours 6 minutes
Author Kate Mulgrew
Category
Publisher HarperAudio
Release date May 21, 2019
ISBN 9780062846853

Subjects

The publisher of the How to Forget is HarperAudio. includes the following subjects: The BISAC Subject Code is Dysfunctional Families, Family & Relationships

Additional info

The publisher of the How to Forget is HarperAudio. The imprint is HarperAudio. It is supplied by HarperAudio. The ISBN-13 is 9780062846853.

Global Availability

This book is only available in the United States.

Goodreads Reviews

Terrie

February 06, 2022

"How To Forget: A Daughter's Memoir by Kate Mulgrew was a beautifully audiobook narrated by the author!I was in awe of the beautiful writing skill in this memoir by Ms. Mulgrew. It was a work of artful prose!This memoir encompasses Kate's return to the family home where she grew up in Dubuque, Iowa to care for each parent during their last weeks of life. Her father died of cancer and, two years later, her mother died of Alzheimer's Disease. In spite of the main topic being the death of both parents, Kate writes affectionately of all the living and loving she experienced and remembers from growing up as a member of a large Irish Catholic family. Kate tells the history of both sides of her family, her maternal and paternal grandparents, how her mother and father met and how they loved deeply. She explains the hierarchy of her siblings, of which there are eight - Kate being the oldest girl. She shares the details of the loss of her sister, Tessie, at a young age and the impact her death had on her mother and father's relationship. She describes her father refusing to recognize when his wife began her long journey into Alzheimer's Decease and the palpable anger and blame he exhibited towards Kate for being "the one" to initiate a doctor's diagnosis. This book brings me back to the sudden passing of my father from a massive coronary and the lingering decent of my mother's death from Alzheimer's Decease many years later. To lose the two family members who gave you life is heart wrenching. Whether it's a sudden death or a slow, lingering loss of the two people you hold so dear, it doesn't matter. The hole where they once were, is still a hole... With this said, Kate's memoir is a work of love to her parents and to herself. It's also a lasting and loving written portrait of her family they can embrace forever. I highly recommend this memoir!

Madison

December 03, 2022

How to Forget: A Daughter’s Memoir by Kate MulgrewNon fiction recap of Kate’s memories of her mother’s life. This story includes the life and impact and progress of disease on both her parents. Her father had an aggressive lung cancer at the end of his life and her mother developed Alzheimer’s. The text includes how she and her family dealt with each death from beginning to end as each of the parents succumbed. Some period history was mentioned for background and rounding out who they were. It’s emotional, heartbreaking, and so typical of any family going through life, death and today’s typical diseases. I’m guessing most people will be able to relate to the loss on many levels. I know it jogged a lot of my own memories but at the same time recognizing that every loss is personal. 🎧 I listened to an audiobook copy of this for the majority of the book. It was narrated by Kate Mulgrew and brought the really personal feelings to the front. I received an ARC of this book from a publisher conference where it was highly acclaimed and recommended. I agree. I think the author did a great job of dealing with death and disease and while it’s a heartbreaking story, it also normalizes the experience as we all experience something similar. At least that’s what I felt from reading this story.

Elyse

June 24, 2020

“He died first, quickly and quietly. It was like my father to outwit my mother, even at the end.” This is a tender felt story of the death of Kate’s parents...and ....siblings dealings... .....messy, flawed, and real.Coffee, cigarettes, vodka... were relished by her father. Kate’s dad was 83 years old. Kate’s brother, Joe, called to share the news. Their dad had cancer.Joe knew that out of all the siblings, Kate was the one in the best position to get their father the care he needed. And wow.... what a page turning intimate outstanding memoir Kate wrote!! I gobbled it in one restless night of not being able to sleep. Kate Mulgrew is a screen and stage actress. She was the star in the series, “Orange is the New Black”. She also wrote the the book called, “Born with Teeth”. ( a book I also want to read) Kate was playing the role of Katherine Hepburn in a stage production- in West Palm Beach when she first got the news from about her dad. How she went on stage that night, is beyond me. Such a beautiful memoir about parents, siblings,( eight siblings), and about returning home - [to Iowa]. Kate’s father had lung cancer, that took him in three weeks. Her mother had Alzheimer’s disease. She died two years after her father. I’m such a sucker for a family tale of sincerity like this one is. We learned about Kate’s parents and her siblings, ( two died; heartbreaking for the entire family).There was so much heartbreak in this family ....But..between the conflicts, secrets, silences, loss, constant family noise, children suffering and dying, there was love. This is the first book I’ve read by Kate Mulgrew. She’s not only a great actress but she’s a great storyteller. Reflective, harrowing, and intimately revealing.

Marina

March 01, 2019

After reading “Born With Teeth”, Kate Mulgrew’s first book and a gem of a memoir, I could not wait to hear that a second one would be coming.“How to Forget” is a tremendous book! Not unlike the first memoir, I have swallowed it in a matter of hours, and then found myself needing several days to be able to articulate a more fitting opinion on it than simply “heart-rending”.This memoir is first and foremost about the lives and deaths of Kate’s parents, and about how her relationship with either one of them had shaped her own life. A truly no-holds-barred journey through memories in turn fond and poignant, full of wit and of profound sadness, each one of them told in almost devastatingly vivid and starkly frank detail. Kate has an extraordinary gift as a storyteller; her narrative so engaging, it is impossible not to sink into each chapter. I have to stress that, as captivating as these stories are, the subject matter of the book is very real, bound to affect many readers, and I cannot help but admire Kate’s fortitude not only in living through these experiences but also in sharing them, as deeply personal as they are.

Howard

December 08, 2022

5 Stars for How to Forget: A Daughter’s Memoir (audiobook) by Kate Mulgrew read by the author. This is a really touching story of Kate Mulgrew first losing her father and then her mother. Her experiences are so relatable that it was hard for me to listen at times.

Moonkiszt

August 12, 2019

How to ForgetFamilies are messy. They are tender and precious; what you work and fight for; the tribe that holds the keys to Home, that place from which you run, or to which you return, at a run, or in a reluctant walk, or on a nostalgic shuffle. You know they have to let you in if you present yourself, however you present yourself. Families give you your first glimpses of how Pairs are going to feature in your life. Love/Hate. Happy/Sad. Hungry/Full. His/Hers. Easy/Difficult. Comfortable/Uncomfortable. Trust/Don’t.Kate Mulgrew’s book, separated into two parts, the first about Dad, and the second about Mom. Within its pages she describes the love affair that started her parents’ family, her own natal family, where Capt. Janeway was simply a part she played, one of many, in that means to an end, “a job.” Like her, I went from one day being as I always had been, the “kid” to full-blown caregiver for my parents as they aged, and passed. It was easy to follow along Kate’s story and sympathize, remember and pine. There’s an adjustment when you realize that what you had in your crazy family unit really was unrepeatable, priceless and rare. You wonder if it was enough, is there a way back to it, without giving up what you’ve gained in the meantime, and one is left at the Dead-End sign that turns you around, or forces you to create a new way.I appreciated the author’s caring about capturing moments in her writing, and while there were assumptions as to what her muted parents may have been thinking, clearly as their child she was as expert as any human would be on that topic, having spent her childhood memorizing them. Narratives move an event along, but the moments, carefully presented with all their nooks and crannies are what makes a Tale, complete with sunshine and shadows. Kate Mulgrew did a very respectable job of this particularly dicey topic. Writing of one’s own parents falling apart cannot be an undemanding task, and there are so many ways to lose a willing audience even when it is the truth that is told! She kept me engaged, to the very last word. I get it, Captain. Life is a worthy struggle. Death is, too.

Stuart

May 17, 2019

This is a fantastic memoir. Gorgeously written and incredibly intimate, Kate Mulgrew details the last few months of her parents’ lives, as her father battled cancer and her mother Alzheimer’s. Interspersed throughout those present-day memories are stories of her parents from when she was a child, and when they themselves were young: how they met, and grew together, and how she and her siblings’ relationships with them, like all of us, were at once loving and conflicted. This memoir is heartfelt, poignant, and moving, and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Kazzie

May 24, 2019

I have read Kate Mulgrew's premiere memoir, "Born With Teeth" roughly five times and I had recently read it in April. When 'How To Forget' was announced and that it was about Mulgrew's relationship with her parents, I was instantly intrigued. I have been following Mulgrew's career for close to twenty years and I have heard a myriad of stories about her parents, her upbringing, her siblings and her mother's battle with Alzheimer's Disease. Where 'Born With Teeth' barely touched about that disease, I was interested to see how 'How To Forget' would expand upon it.Mulgrew has an undeniable gift with words. She is fiercely articulate and I always find myself needing a dictionary close-to-hand when reading anything by her. In 'How To Forget,' I found myself being witness to my own thoughts appearing on a page written by someone that I have admired for two-thirds of my life. That surprised me and took me aback. I found myself being witness to a new and heartbreakingly vulnerable side to Mulgrew. She does not try to hide how her parents' illnesses and deaths broke her heart and broke the hearts of her siblings. She is able to articulate with such skill something that I didn't know that I had felt and did not know how to verbalise when I watched my own father pass away from a terminal disease. This book truly struck a chord with me. I annotated this book as I read and I am so glad that I did because it helped me to absorb it and make peace with my own frustrations and pains. It is unwaveringly honest, heartbreaking, poignant and in places, wickedly hilarious. Kate Mulgrew's strength throughout this book is truly inspiring. She has never painted herself as a saint in either of her memoirs. She gives over to the reader a very personal, subjective and vulnerable narrative and you can tell that she needed to get this off of her chest. There were moments when I wanted to reach for the tissues and that I simply wanted to give her the biggest hug imaginable. Even if you are not a fan of Kate Mulgrew or have been a fan for years, I would highly recommend this book. For someone that has lost a parent to a degenerative and wasting disease, Mulgrew's words made an impact that I will never forget and will find difficult to describe.

Kasa

July 06, 2019

My review of Mulgrew's first memoir ended with the wish that she had not ended it 13 years prior to publication since there was still so much to learn about her. At that time, she said she'd had to wait until the deaths of both parents before writing her history, and this book is an explanation almost an apologia, since it is her parents' stories, and hers only as it relates to them and to her seven siblings.The Mulgrews of Dubuque were a rambunctious but well regarded family, not civic leaders, merely midwesterners that were illuminated by the fact that their mother was from "back East," an intimate of the Kennedy family, an aspiring artist. Kate tells more about her father's early history, probably because she had more familiarity with that branch being more local. Her portraits of her siblings is uneven, some are not individualized at all and given very little pagespace. She was only 18 when she followed her dream to NY, reversing the story of her mother, but family ties were close, and as she rose to take her place as one of the most respected actors of her generation and managed her personal life, she still held her family dear, providing financial and moral support when needed. The first part deals with her father's history, illness and rapid death, because "he went first." Her mother, stricken with atypical Alzheimer's disease, had been deteriorating for six years by that point, and the second part minutely and wrenchingly describes Joan's decline and eventual mental paralysis. I can see why Kate felt she had to step aside from the progress of her own life and examine those who shaped her. I am hopeful she will continue with her own story in a future volume.

Rosie O'Donnell

June 02, 2019

I just can't get over how touching and relevant this beautifully written book is. buy it - read it - you will be profoundly moved.

Chris

December 12, 2022

This was a tough book to get through. Kate Mulgrew (best known to me as Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager) details her complicated relationship with her parents and how she dealt with the grief of their deaths.As I've come to expect from her previous book she doesn't sugarcoat things, she comes across fairly brutally honest both about herself and what some might consider the failings of her parents. It's not all negative, there are some nice stories about the support she received from her parents as well as the comfort she found in assisting them towards their respective ends.The book is broken into two sections, the books opens with the death of Mulgrew's traditional, old school, emotionally closed off father and the second section finishes with the death of her artsy, eccentric mother. In between it's an exploration of her relationships with her parents and siblings and it mostly comes across as a therapy session of sorts but it remains fascinating throughout.I really enjoyed Mulgrew's writing style from her first memoir and it carries on here to some extent. Some actors can do voice over work, some can't. Kate Mulgrew is great at it, having her read her own story you feel the emotional highs and lows in her voice.I don't think you'd need to be a fan of her work since it has almost nothing to do with her career, but it's an insight into one person's method of coping with life and death.

Jill

May 24, 2019

Kate Mulgrew is an actor. She has acted on stage, in the movies, and on television. She may be best known as "Admiral Kathryn Janeway" on the TV show "Star Trek: Voyager" in the late 1990's and currently she's in the cast of "Orange is the New Black". She is one of those actors who always seems to have a part in something, she's always working. But as with any actor, what you see on the stage or the screen is only a piece of the real person. Her excellent first memoir, "Born With Teeth", published a few years ago, looks at her younger life and first years in her career. She's returned with a new book, "How to Forget: A Daughter's Memoir", which is the story of her parents' deaths. If you're looking for a feel-good book, look elsewhere.Mulgrew's parents died within a two year period. Her father died three weeks after a diagnosis of metastatic lung cancer. He chose not to take any treatment, preferring not to endure great discomfort simply to prolong his life a month or two. Her mother died - at least physically - about two years later, after having lived with "a-typical Alzheimers" disease for eight years. Those years were terrible both for "Jick" Mulgrew and her surviving six children. Her husband seemed to just go into himself during the years of his wife's illness before his own death. But Jick and Tom Mulgrew, married 50 years and the parents of eight children had devolved into separate lives years before.Kate Mulgrew spares no one in her story, including herself. She writes about relations with her siblings as they navigate their parents' dying and deaths. She delves into her parents' marriage of two people of opposite natures and the problems within that marriage. Mulgrew's story is an honest look at how siblings deal with their parents' lives...and deaths. It's well worth reading.

Kevin

May 21, 2019

Actress Kate Mulgrew (Star Trek Voyager, Orange Is the New Black) follows up her candid and thoughtful 2015 memoir, BORN WITH TEETH, with an equally forthright and emotionally raw tale of caring for her parents at the end of their lives.When her father is diagnosed with stage-four cancer that has spread from his lungs to brain stem, liver and kidneys, Mulgrew's return visit to her home state of Iowa is extended indefinitely. Six years earlier, her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and continued living at home thanks to a full-time caregiver. HOW TO FORGET tenderly chronicles Mulgrew's decision to care for her parents over the last two years of their lives.With crystal clarity and sharp insight, Mulgrew paints a complicated family portrait as rich and complex as families in Pat Conroy's epic novels. As an adult, Mulgrew sees her parents and siblings with a fresh perspective. She realizes that one of the unspoken tenets of her parents' relationship was "they should never be emotionally vulnerable to each other, that such exposure could only lead to trouble." Mulgrew also writes beautifully of the way families are often torn apart--rather than united--by loss. "We longed to reach out to one another, but at every turn this instinct was thwarted, tangled in a web of suspicion and resentment," she writes. "As much as we had loved one another in the fullness of life, we hated what we had become when that wholeness was eclipsed by loss." How to Forget is an unforgettable, tender and loving memoir of acceptance and loss. Kate Mulgrew's perceptive and beautifully written memoir of caring for her dying parents packs an emotional wallop.

Bon Tom

November 08, 2021

Oh captain, my captain! You remain sovereign at your rudder in you private life too. Even in the midst of worst turbulence, when to you, personally, things might seem awfully out of control.Until now, there were several unavoidable associations that came to my mind when I though of Kate Mulgrew. Stern, but fair Star Trek captain, impossibly beautiful and thick hair (remember that scene in her private compartment on Voyager?), warm, motherly voice that I could listen whole day. Well, my wish finally came true in the form of audio book read by her very own self. I mean, what a treat. As expected, the performance is flawless. Lived through from start till the end, of course, because it's about her own life and struggles.For years, she was almost a mythical being for me. I mean, I grew up through my most intense adolescence with new seasons of Voyager being one of the rare things I could count on. And you know how receptive you are in those formative years to figures of authority. And female beauty. And...hair, that impossible hair.Now, I got to know her as even most impressive character: herself.

Elaine

May 28, 2019

I read 'Born With Teeth' and looked forward to 'How to Forget' when she announced it. Both memoirs are incredibly well written. Ms Mulgrew has a love of the English language that is astounding, I was glad my EReader has a dictionary. I work with Seniors, many of whom suffer from Dementia and the Dementia Umbrella. The opportunity to read about a family that dealt with this and get an insite to their thinking was unique. Ms Mulgrew and her siblings dealt with many emotions and conflicts. She tells their story as honestly as she can. She is able to speak with courage and dignity. I recommend both books.

Ivana

April 28, 2019

Kate Mulgrew kicks it out of the park yet again with her second book “How To Forget”. Poignant, wonderfully written, hardly an easy read but she still manages to suck you right into the story.It will captivate you, it will break your heart if you’ve ever been in a position of fighting a battle close to home, it most certainly won’t disappoint. No spoilers, pick up the book and read it.

Ashleigh

November 03, 2020

This book is breathtaking. You may be wondering if you have to be a Star Trek fan to enjoy this book; you do not (I am not). You may be wondering if her acting career is what got this book greenlit; it is not. Kate Mulgrew has a way with words. She tells her stories in such a captivating way. I couldn’t recommend this book more highly. I’ll be honest - it took me a long time to finish this book. Too long if you ask the friend who loaned it to me ;). I feel, though, like a good memoir can’t be devoured. How can you digest a life in a single sitting, or even in a single week or two or three? No, this book, like all great memoirs, made me think. I went on the journey with the author, and sometimes that required stepping away for a time to mourn her losses. But the book is so compelling that I always came back. I always wanted to hear more. I’ve read quite a few memoirs, and the good ones always organize the stories they choose to tell around a key theme or event. How to Forget is organized around the author’s parents - their lives and their deaths. The effortless way she weaves childhood and early adulthood narratives through the consistent narratives of her parents’ final years is incredible. It feels completely natural and effortless to weave back and forth through time, and there is never a moment’s challenge in following the timeline. It is truly a work of art. And yet somehow it also feels like a conversation with a friend - the way stories are told in conversation, the ways they weave in and out of the present day, is captured in this book. If you’re a fan of Star Trek or Kate Mulgrew’s other acting endeavors and that’s why you’re interested in this book, you won’t be disappointed - you will thoroughly enjoy getting to know more about an actress you admire. If you are not a fan of Star Trek, you will be entertained, riveted, heartbroken, and comforted by this beautiful, universal tale of family and all it entails.

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