If I Tell You the Truth audiobook

An emotional story soaked in truth and told through a mix of prose and poetry, it brings forward the highly realistic yet under-explored experiences of immigration, the underlying horror of every day while the fear of deportation is a sword dangling above one's neck, the unneeded gender-restricted expectations set for a daughter by her family, the happiness of bringing a new life to this world being drenched in the pain of being assaulted, the trauma that transcends generation, and the overall beauty of finding trust and support in a friend. ↣ listened to the audiobook on scribd ↢

Originally published on The Nerd Daily | Review by Beth MowbrayJust over a year after her debut novel, When You Ask Me Where I’m Going, captivated readers, Jasmin Kaur is releasing her sophomore work, If I Tell You the Truth. With a similarly unique format, Kaur weaves together prose, poetry, and illustrations to bring readers back to the lives of the characters from her first book, while also expanding the bounds of their world and of her storytelling.If I Tell You the Truth is the powerful tale of a mother and daughter pair, Kiran and Sahaara, which alternates between each of their viewpoints. The basic premise is this: Kiran has fled her home in India after being sexually assaulted by her fiance’s brother, leading to a pregnancy for which she is shamed by her family. She begins to attend university in Canada as previously planned; but after Sahaara is born, and her family cuts ties with her, it becomes more and more difficult to attend school while working to support herself and her child.Read the FULL REVIEW on The Nerd Daily

More thoughts will be shared on my Youtube channel! Subscribe to my channel!*turns on megaphone* HELLO HELLO. I think I may have found another favorite author who writes novels in verse and prose and I need you all to READ Jasmin Kaur's If I Tell You the Truth!!! Not a lot of you have read this book and we need to change that. I want to begin by applauding the author for adding trigger warnings before the story started. I'm a firm believer in having trigger content warnings in books and NO, I don't consider them as spoilers. I listened to the audiobook and it was also narrated by Jasmin Kaur and it was PHENOMENAL! I highly suggest picking the audiobook up when you read this book. - The story is told in two POVs: Kiran Kaur and her daughter Sahaara Kaur. Kiran is a victim of sexual assault that ended getting her pregnant. Afraid for her and her daughter's safety, she fled to Canada and entered college. When the person she most expects to believe what she's been through only blames her and is more worried about their family's image, Kira decided to take this head-on alone. Balancing her studies and going through her pregnancy have placed her student visa on the line.- It was maddening and heart-wrenching to read the story as Kiran navigates the world of parenthood and being the victim of rape when the odds are systemically against her as a Punjab woman.The book touches upon prejudice against women of color, being a victim of sexual assault AND victim-blaming, how justice is seldom and hard to find for marginalized people (women, especially), how immigration isn't always a black or white thing, and surviving a world full of hatred, prejudice, and lies takes a whole lot of courage and bravery.It's so hard to choose a SINGLE favorite quote because I might as well have highlighted the whole book because of how amazing it is. Every line either hurts or makes me pine for the character or both at the same time. But here's one:"The word no was an art form foreign to me. I mean, I'd always loved the idea of saying no, but nothing made my skin crawl like the thought of disappointing people."CONCLUSION: I recommend this to everyone, especially fans of Elizabeth Acevedo's works!Trigger/Content Warning: sexual assault, rape, abortion, teenage pregnancy, police brutality, immigrant trauma, victim-blaming, alcoholism, depression, anxiety, death of a parent

4.5⭐️An incredible read, made all the more powerful through the creative combination of prose, poetry and illustrations.This book does a terrific job in telling the story of so many profiles (sexual assault survivors, undocumented immigrants, single parents, teen mothers) and the obstacles/stigma that they face, and giving them a voice.Kiran and Sahaara are characters you'll want to root for. Their strength, bravery, courage and spirit left me wowed. Fictional characters they might be, but their experiences are all too real.✨"This life has taught me that sometimes, the most beautiful humans find themselves in painful situations. That doesn't mean they're not worth fighting for."✨"It is an act of bravery to live through hell and run from it when we have been made to believe that running is far more dangerous than staying."✨"This world makes us feel like our stories begin and end with men — the ones who want us or don't want us or hurt us or love us. But if I've learned anything, it's that happiness doesn't need to hinge on the boy you end up with. You can choose yourself, too."

To anyone who's planning to read this book, I'd recommend taking the trigger warnings at the beginning of the book very seriously.Everyone who read Jasmin Kaur's first book 'When you ask me where I'm going' already knows enough about Kiran and Sahaara's story to know what the topic is about. I'm not gonna repeat the plot of the story, I only want to talk about how I feel about this novel in general. I want to start with this quote from the book..."I hand her the letter, my excitement now stained with fear. Within this envelope could simply be a request for more documents. Or a rejection. Or an approval. Mom grasps the letter in both hands, her face a kaleidoscopic phulkari of emotion."First off all, Jasmin Kaur's writing style and choice of words left me speechless. She's definitely one of my favourite writers at the moment. TW: mentions of sexual assaultI don't think anyone who hasn't experienced any kind of sexual assault themself can even imagine what it's like to have to deal with this kind of trauma. Jasmin Kaur tells the story of the pregnant Punjabi girl Kiran Kaur who has been raped and flees to Canada after being abandoned by her own mother who accuses her of lying about the assault. While we find out what Kiran goes through mentally and physically through the years after this incident, the novel tells the story of how she tries to bring up her Canadian born daughter Sahaara in a foreign country without any legal documents.We learn a lot about Sahaara and about how she deals with her own emotions as a teenager brought up by an undocumented mother who can't go back to India.We get to read from the perspective of two women. One who has experienced abuse and a young woman who is trying desperately to be an ally to her mother who has experienced abuse. Their lives are constantly filled with anxiety, worry and fear and I was impressed by how well the author managed to put all these emotions into words.I think this story and the characters' thoughts make it easier to understand the impact the assault has on both of the main characters. On one side we have Kiran, who manages to speak up about her trauma after almost 19 years. But the flashbacks are only a small part of the aftermath of speaking about her assault. She's confused, struggling with the truth and reliving the whole incident in her head all over again. But a trauma such as the one she's experienced can't be forgotten.On the other side we have Sahaara, who is confused about her mother's boundaries. It's hard for her to understand when and how much her mother should be confronted with this incident from the past. She tries to help her mother to get revenge and speak up about the assault publicly, to prevent her abuser from assaulting more women.I think everyone will read this story from a different perspective and point of view. There are a lot of messages coming from this novel and to be honest, it's a lot to take in.I particularly liked the focus on how Sahaara slowly learns how to be an ally to her mother:"to be an effective ally to survivors of sexual assault  you need to be prepared to listen more than you speak.to push your own ideas of healing or justice onto a survivor may be to traumatize them again. remember that they have been through a storm that has likely felt uncontrollable, outside of their power to contain."I recommend this book to anyone who has someone in their life who has experienced sexual assault and anyone who wants to learn how to be an effective ally to survivors. It's a start to learn what survivors have to go through even years after their assault.I'd also recommend it to survivors but ONLY if the topic and the description of certain emotions doesn't trigger them. It might make them feel less lonely, especially when they don't have someone around them who has experienced something similar and can relate to them.

Wow. This book has left me utterly speechless. I know that this work will sit with me for a lifetime. As a 2nd generation South Asian immigrant there were many things in this book that hit extremely close to home, especially in the aspect of family relationships and friendships. I felt deeply connected to each of the people in this collection and my heart both ached and was so proud reading the words on every page. This book should be one every single person needs to read in their life. It talks about experiences that real immigrant families go through and the struggles of coming to a new country and setting up a new life. We always hear on the news of people getting deported and being forced to leave the US, sometimes when this is the only country and home they've ever known. This book is raw and dives into these topics fearlessly and it has educated me, made me a more aware and compassionate individual. This book stands for feminism and promoting woman's ability's to make their own choices about their body. This book is an embodiment of things that are wrong in the world that we as the general population need to know about because ignorance does not help people in these situations. Genuinely, one of the best books of this year. I don't have enough words to praise this work.

Powerful piece 🤗

Oh my god. Where do I even start? Jasmin Kaur is an amazing story teller. The story has so many layers, but it's all woven together with so much care. The pacing, the prose, the details. Just everything! There were moments that had me very emotional but I held it together and then on the last page, I found big fat tears streaming down my face. This is honestly, such a beautiful book.

If I Tell You the Truth by Jasmin Kaur follows the story of Kiran and her daughter Sahaara, and it is told from both of their alternating perspectives. A compelling part of the novel is the fact that some of the story is told in verse, while the rest of it reads like a normal novel. When the novel is in verse, it is often to display emotions like sadness or anger. This allows for the distressed thoughts that the characters feel to be expressed deeper. Kiran is Punjabi, and comes to Canada on an educational visa. She leaves her strict family to go to university else where, but the reader soon discovers that she has a child on the way as a result of sexual assault. Her decision to keep her future daughter strains her relationship with her family, and leaves her isolated in a foreign country. Kiran struggles with letting her daughter grow up without much money and familial support, and there is an added fear of getting deported. Kiran had to overstay her visa in Canada for her daughter since she didn’t want to go back to her home country out of fear of finding her rapist.The first half of the book is told from Kiran’s point of view, and the rest is from Sahaara. Sahaara wants to find her own identity since she doesn’t know about Kiran’s background. When she learns about what happened to her mother, she fights to help take down the rapist and stand by her mother, while struggling with her own self identity in the process. If I Tell You the Truth is very well written, and it expands on the important theme of community and loyalty while displaying the growing relationship between mother and daughter. Kiran’s and Sahaara’s story will strike a chord in many hearts. This is an exceptional novel, and I couldn’t recommend it more.Reviewed by Ima T.

4.5/5This was a powerful story that focuses on very heavy and important themes of sexual assault and being an undocumented immigrant. It's also a book about female empowerment and motherhood.The story is told from two POVs and timelines - Kiran, and her daughter Sahaara. When Kiran became pregnant after being sexually assaulted, no one believed that the honourable Ahluwalia was capable of doing such a thing. Even Kiran's own family turned their backs on her. Left with no choice, Kiran flees to Canada and overstays her student visa to raise her child far from the man who abused her and the family who abandoned her. But fleeing to Canada doesn't even begin to solve her problems. Being undocumented and a victim of assault means living in constant fear. It also means a strained relationship with her daughter. How much should Kiran tell Sahaara? How would this information impact Sahaara's life?This book did such a fantastic job exploring the generational trauma left behind by victims of sexual assault. It also did a great job addressing the prejudices and discrimination against marginalized women, especially women of colour, undocumented immigrants, victims of sexual assault, and single mothers. And that was just the first half of the book. The second half of the book focuses primarily on Sahaara's story, and how she coped with learning the truth about her mother's past. She encourages her mother to speak out against her rapist, who is now a prominent politician in Punjab. Speaking out against such a powerful figure is both terrifying and potentially dangerous. if i speak out about ahluwalia i'm drawing attention to usbut if i don't speak out i'm letting him get awaybut if i speak out i'm putting us in dangerbut if i don't speak out i'm putting others in dangerbut if i speak out i'm diving head-first into the memoriesbut if i don't speak out i'll be haunted by him foreverbut if i speak out they could all call me a liarbut if i don't speak out they'll call another woman's accusation baselessbut if i - While the writing and poetry for the most part was beautiful, I think I would have preferred if this was a novel-in-verse, rather than a series of poems scattered throughout the novel. Regardless, this was an extremely memorable and emotional book.

this read will definitely stay with me for a while. i don’t really know how to sum up my feelings for this but the writing was incredible and so lyrical and the story made my heart ache. i feel so deeply for both kiran and sahaara and felt so pained for them both. “this isn’t a poem. instead it’s an obituary for the girl i used to be the girl who belonged to everyone but herself the girl who swallowed her heart and bit her tongue the girl who would have never dared to run.”

Plot:*Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, police brutality, immigrant trauma, victim-blaming, domestic violence, alcoholism, depression, anxiety*Kiran came to Canada to major in biology at Simon Fraser University. As an immigrant from Punjab, Kiran realized that British Columbia is a lot different than her hometown, but at the university orientation, she met Joti, another Punjab immigrant that has been living in Canada for a while and took Kiran under her wing. Kiran had high expectations of her to do well in her major and then to come back and marry the man her mother wanted because he was from a “good family” one that would not embarrass her. To Kiran, her mother was always harsh and controlling, someone to obey and not to oppose. This is why Kiran chose to call her mother from Canada about the fact that she did not fly to Canada alone. Inside her stomach was a baby girl, soon to be named Sahaara, and Kiran was not going to get rid of. After her mother flew back to Canada, for Kiran’s birthday, and try to set up the abortion appointments herself, Kiran stood her ground, saying that she will have her child. Getting disowned by her parents, kicked out of her uncle and aunt’s house, Kiran moved in with Joti and her mother, to continue going to school for her visa, and raise Sahaara. When the university kicked Kiran out, because she could no longer keep up the course load along with working and raising her daughter, Kiran’s visa expired, leaving her in Canada with no papers. Not leaving her Canadian daughter, Kiran stayed, taking any job that would not ask for her papers, raising her daughter, and fearing the police. Sahaara grew up, forming a close friendship with her neighbor Jeevan, went to school, fell in love, graduated, went to college while living with her mother and her mother’s chosen family. Kiran never talked about Saaharra’s father, and it was not till Sahaara was older was when Kiran finally told her why. Her father was a powerful man in Punjab, one that abused his position of power and raped Kiran. The result of that abuse was Sahaara. Urging her mother to tell her story, about the rape, about being undocumented in Canada, about how when they fight she cannot look at her daughter without seeing him. Trading perspectives of Sahaara and Kiran, starting in August of 2001 and ending in June 2021, is the story of Kiran’s fight to stay in Canada, and Sahaara’s upbringing and trying to discover herself. Thoughts:Jasmin Kaur takes you on the emotional story of Kiran and her daughter Sahaara, on this twenty-year journey across the countries of Canada and India. This review is hard to write as there is so much depth in this novel, that I am surprised that Kaur did not go into thousands of pages, but kept it at a long novel of over four hundred pages. Kaur writes from the perspective of Kiran and Sahaara, mainly from Kiran at the beginning of the novel, and then switches to Sahaara’s when she is about ten and for the remainder of the novel. The trigger warnings at the start of the novel (and at the start of my review) are no joke, as Kaur takes you on the emotional journey of these two women. From the start where Joti tells Kiran that “Freshe” means fresh off the boat for immigrants, to the people in power trying to take advantage of Kiran as she tries to find a way to stay in Canada with her daughter. Her fear of being deported is etched into Sahaara’s life, of her mother fidgeting when cops are nearby, and her not being able to drive because she does not have her license. Yet, Kaur writes to Saharra to see her mother as strong, determined, yet full of fear and anxiety towards her daughter, and depression for what she has endured in the past. The ending, where accurate for many cases, is still heart wrenching, making this novel more realistic than the fiction it is meant to be. Written between chapters is poetry that is meant to be taken from the point of view of Kiran and Sahaara, reflective of what is going on in their lives, which is a beautiful edition and truly makes the book flow more powerful. The part that got me the most was Sahaara realizing whenever she and her mother fought, the reason why her mother could not look at her was that she saw her rapist in Sahaara’s features, even though she loved her daughter with all her heart. Truly an emotional novel, one that will capture your hearts for this mother-daughter pair that spans over two decades of their lives and a must-read for anyone who wants to shed some tears out of love.