9780062849427
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If You Leave Me audiobook

  • By: Crystal Hana Kim
  • Narrator: Greta Jung
  • Category: Asian American, Fiction
  • Length: 12 hours 4 minutes
  • Publisher: HarperAudio
  • Publish date: August 07, 2018
  • Language: English
  • (3462 ratings)
(3462 ratings)
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If You Leave Me Audiobook Summary

If You Leave Me is graced with truly wonderful writing; great poise, lyricism, intelligence, and an utterly engrossing portrayal of life.”–Richard Ford

“An unforgettable story of family, love, and war set against the violent emergence of modern Korea.”–Gary Shteyngart

“A gripping, heartrending tale of the birth of modern Korea filtered through the prism of an intimate love story. In fresh, often astonishing prose, Kim brings her characters to life: complicated, flawed, and hard not to fall in love with. A strikingly original work.”–Jessica Shattuck

An emotionally riveting debut novel about war, family, and forbidden love–the unforgettable saga of two ill-fated lovers in Korea and the heartbreaking choices they’re forced to make in the years surrounding the civil war that still haunts us today.

When the communist-backed army from the north invades her home, sixteen-year-old Haemi Lee, along with her widowed mother and ailing brother, is forced to flee to a refugee camp along the coast. For a few hours each night, she escapes her family’s makeshift home and tragic circumstances with her childhood friend, Kyunghwan.

Focused on finishing school, Kyunghwan doesn’t realize his older and wealthier cousin, Jisoo, has his sights set on the beautiful and spirited Haemi–and is determined to marry her before joining the fight. But as Haemi becomes a wife, then a mother, her decision to forsake the boy she always loved for the security of her family sets off a dramatic saga that will have profound effects for generations to come.

Richly told and deeply moving, If You Leave Me is a stunning portrait of war and refugee life, a passionate and timeless romance, and a heartrending exploration of one woman’s longing for autonomy in a rapidly changing world.

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If You Leave Me Audiobook Narrator

Greta Jung is the narrator of If You Leave Me audiobook that was written by Crystal Hana Kim

Crystal Hana Kim holds an MFA from Columbia University and is a contributing editor for Apogee Journal. She has received numerous awards, including PEN America’s Story Prize for Emerging Writers, along with fellowships and support from the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, and the Fine Arts Work Center in Provincetown, among others. Born and raised in New York, she currently lives in Chicago. If You Leave Me is her first novel.

About the Author(s) of If You Leave Me

Crystal Hana Kim is the author of If You Leave Me

More From the Same

If You Leave Me Full Details

Narrator Greta Jung
Length 12 hours 4 minutes
Author Crystal Hana Kim
Category
Publisher HarperAudio
Release date August 07, 2018
ISBN 9780062849427

Subjects

The publisher of the If You Leave Me is HarperAudio. includes the following subjects: The BISAC Subject Code is Asian American, Fiction

Additional info

The publisher of the If You Leave Me is HarperAudio. The imprint is HarperAudio. It is supplied by HarperAudio. The ISBN-13 is 9780062849427.

Global Availability

This book is only available in the United States.

Goodreads Reviews

Elyse

January 23, 2018

“If You Leave Me”, by debut author, Crystal Hana Kim, takes place during the 1950’s and 1960’s in Korea. This is a wonderful, tragic tale.....the language, culture, and descriptions are lyrical and emotionally engrossing. We are taken on a journey —feeling the aches and pains. Haemi and Kyunghwan were childhood friends. Kyunghwan introduced his cousin, Jisoo, to Haemi, when the war made them go south. We know early on the reasons why Haemi is conflicted between desire and security. With the country at war, her family poor - living with her mother- and younger brother who is sick - security- purity - and a good reputation ( values her mother instilled in her), are the only values that mattered. Haemi marries Jisoo. They have children. Kyunghwan is the children’s uncle. He also still loves Haemi. Life is closely examined- we get viewpoints - narration from:Haemi, - and the two men who love her: Kyunghwan, and Jisoo. — We also get viewpoints from Hyunki, ( Haemi’s brother), and her daughter Solee. The novel is divided into five parts....which works nicely - as Korea is changing - becoming more modern - which has some advantages but also some misfortunes. The characters feel like real people....and their lives are complicated. The prose is penetrating. Towards the end - I was in tears. BEAUTIFUL STORYTELLING! Tidbits I enjoyed: The Korean foods and drinks:Makgeolli is a sweet alcoholic beverage. Miyeokguk with cinnamon juice is made with seaweed - usually a soup. Pajeon is a Korean side dish similar to the Chinese scallion pancake. Tteokguk- or sliced rice cake soup is a traditional Korean dish eaten during celebration at the Korean New Year. Gonggi- pronounced gong - gee is a popular Korean children’s game involving small stones or pebbles. An excerpt: ....which gave me pause: “ I woke up early the next morning and lay still, collecting the floors coolness inside me before the day heated through with the summer sun. It was my job to make tea in the morning. Daddy drank ginseng and Mommy angelica. Jieun and Mila slept on with open mouths. I imagined dropping seeds down their throats. The kernels settling in their bellies, growing sprouts. Pear blossoms would flow from their lips and crawl up the walls of the room. Then I could puppet them around by their stalks and have THEM prepare the tea”. Thank you HarperCollins Publishers...and Will ByrnesRelease date in stores: August 2018

Emily

July 21, 2022

A tragic saga of love, longing, and inner turmoil. From childhood love to the most difficult wartime decisions, from marriage to motherhood, disillusionment, and imagining what could have been, this story covers a wide array of interpersonal struggles with chilling clarity. Crystal Hana Kim paints a devastating picture of depression, pining, and all the turbulent nuance of mental health with says so much about the cycle of pain and trauma, of love and resentment. A hard hitting debut.

Jessica

August 07, 2018

My early years of motherhood were very difficult. They made me wonder whether I was fit to have kids at all. And sometimes I would start to think about what my life would look like if I lived 50, 100, 200 years ago in a world where women had no choices about their families and childbearing. I could never think about it too much because the thought of what it would be like would overwhelm me. Even now it's a hard thought experiment because those years are still so fresh and raw in my mind. IF YOU LEAVE ME is about a woman who has no real control over her choices when it comes to marriage and children, and I found it deeply affecting.Haemi and her family start the book uprooted from their home during the Korean war, doing what they can to find food. Haemi is only 16, her father is dead, and her younger brother is ill. It's a harrowing circumstance but she has her own escape sneaking out at night with Kyunghwan. During the day Kyunghwan's cousin Jisoo is courting Haemi. They both love her, and she wants desperately what each of them has to offer. Once Haemi makes her choice, we follow all of these characters through over a decade.Thankfully Haemi's narrative is not the only one. We get to see the world through several sets of eyes, what everyone else wants Haemi to be, and sometimes we get her own view of how trapped she feels by being a wife and mother with no other real choice. Haemi loves her children, loves her husband, and yet she feels empty and lost in a way she can never get anyone else to fully understand. Even in a drastically different time, Haemi makes the kinds of choices to take care of people around her that women still make today. If this book's depiction of a changing Korea appeals to you, I'd recommend following it with EVERYTHING BELONGS TO US, set around the time this book ends, which addresses centrally class and political issues that are more periphery to this book while still having the same kind of deep empathy for its characters this novel has.

Jennifer

April 27, 2019

This wonderful debut novel, If You Leave Me, centers around five characters growing up during and after the Korean war. Haemi is a spirited, willful and independent 16 year old refugee who lives with and feels responsible for her widowed mother and her sickly younger brother, Hyunki. She and her lifelong friend, Kyungwan, are experiencing young love, but he wants to get an education and be a better man before he expresses his feelings. Kyungwan’s older, wealthier cousin, Jisoo, has no immediate family, and he also takes a liking to Haemi. Before he goes off to war he asks her to marry him, with the hope that when he returns he will have family waiting for him. Jisoo can ensure less struggling and provide food and medicine for Haemi and her family. Despite her connection with Kyungwan...full review and author Q & A on https://booknationbyjen.com.

Jennifer

August 11, 2018

In Crystal Hana Kim's debut novel: If You Leave Me, multiple narrators allow us to bear witness to female lead character: Haemi Lee as a practical life choice at the young age of sixteen impacts her and those around her for years to come. It's not news that women fulfill a wide variety of roles in our one short lifetime. Some are by choice, some are not...and this is the main theme threaded throughout this novel: choice. Set in the 1950's and 1960's in war-torn Korea, Haemi's ability to choose is hindered due to a wide variety of factors, gender roles being on top. Crystal Hana Kim shows how deeply scarring this can be. It seems that war isn't the only thing that leaves lingering trauma. Imagine that.My favorite (but also the saddest) element of this novel involved Haemi in her role of motherhood. It's not always rainbows and butterflies. In Haemi's case, it can feel like imprisonment. Having gone through postpartum depression myself, this condition feels isolating enough as it is. I couldn't fathom living in a time and place where it doesn't even have a name. But of course women of that time were expected to be grateful, submissive, adoring, and to be anything less was deeply problematic. Haemi is none of these. She is a character full of regret, independence, and longing, and the trickle effect onto the other characters is palpable right to the end. Diverse, personal, and skillfully layered, If You Leave Me is a beautifully written saga that I'm glad I read. My favorite quote:"We can stitch ourselves back together, Mother said. I believed her."

Monica

September 26, 2018

If you leave me, I’ll be alone. — Crystal Hana Kim, If You Leave Me..oh my god, my heart is aching so bad! Crystal Hana Kim’s “If You Leave Me” was one helluva emotionally heavy read. The ending totally shattered my heart, oh my! This is an impressive, epic, unforgettable debut novel about love, family, war, gender roles, and heartbreaking choices people make that haunts them for a lifetime set in Korea 1950’s and 1960’s during & aftermath of the devastating Korean cvil war. .I can’t remember the last time I read a novel by a Korean-American author. I thought the author has done a phenomenal job of capturing the ambience, language, and culture of the Korean background, but it could leave some non-Korean readers confused at times. Because the nature of the setting, she’s incorporated few Korean words that were old, and perhaps out-of-style. Although it’s a technique other authors use in novels set in a different country, even for a Korean person, who speaks, reads, and writes the language, I had to double, triple re-read the sentences to fully understand. I’m afraid some sentences will get lost to many readers, but don’t let that deter you from reading this novel, she has carefully chosen words that aren’t necessary important to the story as whole..This is an ambitious novel in scope, depth, and setting. Told in alternating narratives, story follows Haemi and her family, refugees during the Korean war. Haemi is a free-spirited, smart girl who spends evening with her childhood friend Kwanghwan, both clearly have deep feelings for each other. While kwanghwan is focused on finishing school, his cousin jisoo is determined to fight in the war and marry Haemi before he sets off. Haemi marries jisoo for the family and becomes a wife & mother, but struggles with the decision and it continues to haunt her for many years. And unmarried kwanghwan also continues to struggles with that fact and is unable to forget Haemi. Through the years, kwanghwan tries to allure Haemi to run off together, but Haemi is bound by familial obligations & her effort to keep the family together, and tries to be a good mother & wife. Despite Haemi’s best efforts, she’s continually haunted by demons, and ultimately does the unthinkable at the end..gripping, absorbing, immersive debut novel about love, family, and gender roles, set against the backdrop & aftermath of the devastating Korean civil war. **WARNING/TRIGGER: This maybe a spoiler, a minor one, but I needed to say something as a Korean-American & about the culture of Korea. It’s not clearly stated, but Haemi struggled with post-partum anxiety, depression, and/or mental illness. For those who may not be aware, mental illness is a relatively new concept in Korea (Eastern Asia, what I’m familiar with), it’s not something you discuss or admit, it’s unforgivingly stigmatized & closed out from the society. Culture have slowly started talking about it recently because of recent highly publicized suicides of superstars in the entertainment industry. I thought I needed to mention because the author has carefully incorporated it into book; especially for a book set in the 50’s/60’s, I thought it was a very smart move. Smart to incorporate an important topic into a book set in Korea that does not discuss mental health, society where pride is highly prized. People literally kill to climb ladders or work to death. .I am so grateful to be living in America. I know we still have a long way to go for our society to be more accepting and for many people it ends in tragedy, but there’s hope & help in America. I had my share of struggles, and I was able to overcome, not always easy, but grateful to be surrounded by loving family & friends. I went bit of a tangent here per usual 🤣, but remember there’s light at the end of tunnel, there truly is. Highly recommend this debut novel by a promising author with a bright future!

Lillian

April 04, 2018

I’m always so fascinated by books where every bad choice also feels like a necessary one. Crystal Hana Kim’s If You Leave Me is such a novel. There are no villains (except, perhaps, history itself; the rigid conventions of the time), only victims, who are strong, but not unbreakable; loving, but not saints, or martyrs. Haemi is the kind of headstrong, whip smart woman you ache to see born in the wrong era. Her decision (if it can even be called that) to protect her family by marrying a man she doesn’t love sows seeds of tragedy that feel perversely familiar as they bloom down the line. What is timeless, though, in Kim’s novel is the question of why love is something we both can and cannot live without. If only it were as necessary as air, or as ornamental as diamonds. If only it were as strong a savior as it is a destroyer.

Simone

January 13, 2019

** spoiler alert ** TRIGGER WARNING: This book covers topics of depression, postpartum depression, rape, and suicide. There's also some bloody and war scenes as well.Spoilers about halfway down this review.When I first picked up this book I thought it was going to be a love story taking place in South Korea post-Korean War. I thought it was going to be a tough story about love and loss with a romance-style happy ending. Boy, was I wrong and I'm glad I was wrong.This is not a love story. Yes, there's love between Kyunghwan and Haemi, but it almost feels selfish and an escape than love. It was an escape from a lot of things. It was an escape from traditional gender roles. It was an escape from the war. It was an escape from what was expected of them. The sneaking around and wearing men's clothing. The meetings under the streetlight. All of it was a way to remove themselves from reality with their gazing at the stars and gazing into their eyes.Haemi is a very modern-thinking woman who loved her family and her friends. She was in love with her childhood best friend, Kyunghwan, but he never tried to properly court her. You can see Haemi as this beautiful dreamer, a modern girl with a smart mouth and a strong head.But then comes Jisoo, a possible husband who found Haemi attractive and wanted to make her his wife. Despite Haemi's protests, she still went ahead and married him because in Korea at this time period, you marry someone with money. You marry someone who can provide and protect you for the rest of your life. Once the Korean War ends and Jisoo returns to Haemi, this is when the story takes a turn for the worse. From there, it just continues to get bad until the eventual end. This book is going on my list of sad books that will break your heart. I found myself cheering for Haemi and Kyunghwan. I'll bet that everyone who reads this will be Team Kyunghwan. Every encounter and moment between this couple felt like a flash of hope in the world. Sadly, it was just a flash in the pan.I think there's multiple endings based on the choices that were made. There were so many options for Haemi, Kyunghwan, and Jisoo. There could have been a happy ending. Haemi could have left. Jisoo could have left. Someone could have made a choice that could steer the course of their lives in a different direction. But similar to the state of the war at the beginning, everyone ended up in a stalemate driving them down a spiral that only ended in tragedy.::SPOILER WARNING::I strongly advise you not read this next part if you're planning on reading this book. LOOK AWAY!In my opinion, the biggest themes to this novel are depression, postpartum depression, and suicide. I guessed about halfway through what was going to happen at the end. I mean, I put it as a possibility; a worst-case scenario, but I didn't think that would be the reality. There are signs throughout the novel regarding Haemi's mental health and how her family and loved ones really didn't see what was happening to her. She kept talking about how her body didn't feel like her own. She was obviously going through postpartum depression after her second child and continued to be depressed well after that. She would confess to Kyunghwan that she wasn't thinking right, but then just shrug it off as some fleeting moment. She couldn't even recognize in herself what she was feeling. It didn't help that she was also living with her abusive alcoholic husband who resented her for not being the woman he thought she would be. She was constantly made to feel unworthy and not good enough.You basically watch a woman go from this happy and intelligent girl to a shell of a human who absolutely hated her life. Jisoo doesn't see it. He just sees a healthy woman who will bear him sons and take care of him every single day of his life. No amount of love from her family, her children, could break her from the spell of depression. No one was able to see her uniqueness, her inner beauty until it was way too late and even then I'm pretty sure they still didn't care.Kyunghwan didn't see it either. He was focused on himself. First, it was the need to survive. Then it was the need to be profitable. Haemi was always in the back of her mind, but I think Kyunghwan followed the "out of sight, out of mind" mentality.Hyunki didn't see it. He was about to start his life in the big city and so excited about all the things he would accomplish. Even when his sister tried to make him stay, there was just no way he would.Her daughters didn't see it. I mean, her daughters were children and they just saw her sadness as anger or frustration. In 2019 America, everyone is aware of mental health. We're told to check in on ourselves and others. We're advised what to do when someone threatens their own life. However, in Korea, mental health is still extremely stigmatized. Actually mental health doesn't exist in Korea. You're either healthy or you're crazy. You're weak for being depressed and weakness is a sign that you can't do other things well like hold down a decent paying job.Now let's take that stigma and roll back the clocks to the 1950s. This is post-war Korea, where people are slowly trying to get their lives back together. Identities to their country and to their self are completely destroyed and need to be rediscovered. Korea had just dealt with 50 years of Japanese occupation to then roll into a civil war and now try and figure out next steps. When is there time to think about what's going on? When is there the luxury to choose what happens next? I honestly feel like Koreans have just rolled with the punches for so long it was ingrained in an entire generation of people to do what was needed of them. There is no room for want. There is no room for yourself. There was only the limited choices given and those choices messed up a lot of people's lives.

Kate

January 24, 2019

Fascinating and riveting historical fiction.

Afoma (Reading Middle Grade)

December 27, 2018

Thanks to William Morrow Books for an ARC of this book.This debut novel is a harrowing account of the ravages of the Korean Civil War. Also in focus is the star-crossed love of Haemi Lee and her childhood friend, Kyunghwan. When the Korean civil war forces Haemi, her widowed mother, and sickly brother to flee to a refugee camp, she finds solace in her nightly outings with Kyunghwan.There’s not too much to be said without giving the entire story away, but If You Leave Me is unforgettable. Truly, this book is an eye-opening, engulfing and heartbreaking exploration of what love means, what war does and what womanhood can feel like. There were times when I wished the book could be shorter, but prepare yourself for an immersive experience of the Korean Civil War. Prepare yourself to feel a bit raw at the end of this story, even as you welcome its meaningfulness.full review at https://afomaumesi.com/if-you-leave-m...

Janelle Janson

August 08, 2018

Thank you so much to William Morrow for providing my free copy of IF YOU LEAVE ME by Crystal Hana Kim - all opinions are my own.This is a poignant, insightful debut novel set during the time of the Korean War involving a complicated love triangle. We follow sixteen-year-old Haemi Lee who is staying at a refugee camp as she and her family have been forced out of their village due to the calamity of war. Haemi has been sneaking out to spend time with her childhood friend, Kyunghwan, but a spark ignites and it becomes more than friendship. The only issue is simultaneously she’s being pursued by his more affluent cousin, Jisoo. Jisoo wants her hand in marriage; he offers financial security and the chance for her to stay close with her family. She ignores her feelings for Kyunghwan and reluctantly makes a decision to marry for stability rather than desire. The story spans over sixteen years during a time of great change for the Korean people and Haemi reflects on her decision to marry Jisoo.There are so many things that I love about this gorgeous novel: the backdrop of Korea, the strong character development, the multiple perspectives, and how the author lightly touches on mental illness. The story is told from the perspectives of Haemi, Jisoo, Kyunghwan, Haemi’s brother Hyunki, and her daughter Solee - I love how as readers we get the full picture of the story from these five narratives. These characters feel very honest and authentic, and by the end I was in tears. Kim is a master storyteller with lovely prose and the ability to draw you in on every page. IF YOU LEAVE ME is a story about the decisions we make and how they affect our lives and the people around us. Also, I always love stories where the setting plays a character and this one was painted with vivid imagery as Korea changed over the years. I visualized every moment and felt everything Haemi felt. LOVE. THIS. BOOK.

Dean

October 07, 2019

Chrystal Hana Kims debut novel "If You Love Me" has blown me away!!Jessica Shattuck raves: "A gripping, heartrending tale of the birth of modern Korea filtered through the prism of an intimate love story"..Settled in Korea and embracing the occupation by the japs during WWII, the birth of communist South Korea and the students bloody protest demos in Seoul against a corrupt government..Te writing is so powerful that the main characters Haemi, Kyungwan and Jisoo are haunting me and they will hold their strong grip on my imagination and heart for a long time!!Haemi, Kyungwan and Jisoo.. their lives, sufferings and decisions!!!In the midst of a world falling apart they must decide between the survival of their Familys or the one eternal love..The prose is beautiful, and Crystal Hana Kim is a voice very unique, remarkable and full of true magic!!Dean;)

Jessica

June 10, 2018

I was totally engrossed in the story of Haemi, Kyunghwan, and their families in war torn Korea. I cried so many times with Haemi. This is one of the first (if not THE first) novel I’ve read that touches on postpartum depression, though it doesn’t call it by that name. Haemi talks about being in a haze a year after each child was born. About how she longed for more, how she felt misery creep in and poison her thoughts. It was such a full, aching story.

Traci

December 14, 2018

A post war story. Super specific. The author clearly knew her characters. Not overworked or overwritten. Emotional. No one was completely right, everyone was complex. Good good book.

Lucy

July 05, 2018

I was completely absorbed by the forbidden love story of Haemi and Kyunghwan, their complicated ties to Kyunghwan’s cousin, Jisoo, and this rich portrait of war-torn Korea. IF YOU LEAVE ME is a novel of epic proportions whose tone shifts agilely over time, following the lives of its characters and the devastating consequences of war. It’s full of longing and hard truths, and now that I've finished it I'm in solid agreement with the buzz surrounding this book, naming Crystal Hana Kim as a talented writer to watch.

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