Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls audiobook

Lets Explore Diabetes with Owls, David SedarisLet's Explore Diabetes With Owls is a collection of narrative essays by David Sedaris. The book was released on April 23, 2013. Essays: Dentists Without Borders; Attaboy; Think Differenter; Memory Laps; A Friend in the Ghetto; Loggerheads; If I Ruled the World; Easy, Tiger; Laugh, Kookaburra; Standing Still; Just a Quick E-mail; A Guy Walks into a Bar Car; Author, Author; Obama!!!!!; Standing By; I Break for Traditional Marriage; Understanding Understanding Owls; #2 to Go; Health-Care Freedom and Why I Want My Country Back; Now Hiring Friendly People; Rubbish; Day In, Day Out; Mind the Gap; A Cold Case; The Happy Place; and Dog Days.تاریخ نخستین خوانش: روز یازدهم ماه آوریل سال2016میلادیعنوان: بیا با جغدها درباره‌ ی دیابت تحقیق کنیم ؛ نویسنده: دیوید سداریس؛ مترجم: پیمان خاکسار؛ تهران؛ نشر چشمه، سال1394؛ در183ص؛ شابک9786002293947؛ موضوع: شوخیها و بذله گوئیهای آمریکایی، سرگذشتنامه طنزنویسان ایالات متحده آمریکا، سده 21مفهرست: («یاداشت نویسنده، ص9»؛ «دندان‌ پزشکان بدون مرز، ص11»؛ «بارک‌ الله پسر، ص18»؛ «متفاوت‌تر فکر کن، ص26»؛ «از دست دادن حافظه، ص30»؛ «دوست پایین شهری، ص42»؛ «لاکپشت ها سر گنده، ص53»؛ «اگر فرمانروای دنیا بودم، ص65»؛ «یواش آقا ببره، ص68»؛ «بخند کوکابورا، ص76»؛ «بیحرکت ایستادن، ص86»؛ «یک ای.میل کوچولو، ص97»؛ «نویسنده، نویسنده، ص101»؛ «اوباما!!!!!، ص108»؛ «کنار ایستادن، ص114»؛ «من هوادار ازدواج سنتی هستم، ص122»؛ «درک جغدهای فهیم، ص128»؛ «شماره دو برای بردن، ص138»؛ «آدمهای خونگرم استخدام میکنیم، ص147»؛ «زباله، ص152»؛ «هر روز پشت سر هم، ص162»؛ «پرونده ی باز، ص173»)؛از متن: (اگر یک چیز به دردبخور توی آن خانه بود، چیزی حتی شبیه بستنی، مدت‌ها پیش خورده شده بود. این را می‌دانستم و برای همین از فریزر دوم که توی انباری بود صرف نظر کردم، و یک‌راست رفتم سراغ فریزر برهوت توی زیرزمین. پشت مرغ‌هایی که پارسال توی حراج خریده بودیم و بسته‌ های گوشتی شبیه شاه‌ بلوط که روی‌شان را لایه‌ ای ضخیم از برفک خون رنگ پوشانده بود، یک قوطی بستنی پیدا کردم. وانیلی و به رنگ چرک. این‌‌قدر درفریزر مانده بود که حتا من بچه هم با دیدن برچسب قیمتش احساس کردم سنی ازم گذشته، «سی و پنج سنت! با این پول تو این دوره و زمونه هیچی نمی‌شه خرید!)؛ پایان نقلنقل از متن: (نمی‌دانم این زن و شوهرها چطور از عهده‌ ی این همه چیز برمی‌آیند، هر شب چند ساعت وقت صرف می‌کنند تا بچه‌ هایشان را ببرند به رختخواب و برایشان از روی کتاب، قصه‌ ی بچه‌ گربه‌ های بی‌ تربیت و فُک‌های یونیفرم‌ پوش بخوانند و بعد اگر بچه دوباره دستور داد دوباره از اول شروع کنند به خواندن. در خانه‌ ی ما پدر و مادرمان ما را فقط با دو کلمه می‌گذاشتند توی رختخواب «خفه شو.» این آخرین چیزی بود که قبل از خاموش شدن چراغ‌ها می‌شنیدیم…)؛ ص20؛ پایان نقلنقل از متن:(- با خودم فکر می‌کردم هرگز نباید گفت هرگز، خصوصا درباره‌ ی خاطرات. ملت پیر می‌شوند و آدم حیرت می‌کند که چه چیزهایی را فراموش می‌کنند. مثلا چند هفته پیش به مادرم زنگ زدم تا تولدش را تبریک بگویم، هشتاد سالگی‌ اش را. گفتم: «شرط می‌بندم آرزو می‌کردی بابا زنده بود تا تولدت رو با هم جشن می‌گرفتین.»؛گفت «ولی اون هنوز زنده است.»؛«زنده‌ ست؟»گفت: «البته. پس کی تلفن رو برداشت؟»؛حالا تازه پنجاه سالم شده و یادم رفته پدرم هنوز نمرده!) (ص27)؛نقل از متن:(- پدرم شبیه افسرهای نیروی زمینی بود، فقط به جای این که مثل آن‌ها آدم را داغان کند و بعد از نو بسازد بخش اول را انجام می‌داد و می‌رفت پی کارش.)؛ (ص39)؛نقل از متن:(- راستش بعد از صرف آن همه وقت در هواپیما دوست داری وقتی از هواپیما پیاده می‌شوی، با یک دنیای کاملا جدید رو به‌ رو شوی، سیاره‌ ی عطارد مثلا، یا دست کم مکزیکوسیتی. ولی استرالیا برای یک امریکایی هیچ چیز جدیدی ندارد: همان خیابان‌های پهن، همان برج‌های اداری، کاناداست با شورت نخی، لااقل برداشت اول آدم این است.)؛ (ص77)؛نقل از متن:(- سال 2004 پیشنهاد دادم که سیگاری‌ها برای امضای کتاب در الویت قرار بگیرند. دلیلش هم اینکه سیگاری‌ها زیاد عمر نمی‌کنند و وقتشان با ارزش‌تر است.)؛ (ص106)؛نقل از متن:(- در آمریکا کسی از شما سئوال سیاسی نمی‌پرسد مگر اینکه راجع به سیاست نوشته باشید. ولی در خارج هرچی ازتان بپرسند سیاسی است، مخصوصا اگر امریکایی باشید. اگر تاریخچه‌ ی تزیین کیک را هم نوشته بودم باز هم ازم راجع به گوانتانامو و امضای پیمان کیوتو توسط کشورم سئوال می‌پرسیدند؛)؛ (ص109)؛تاریخ بهنگام رسانی 17/01/1400هجری خورشیدی؛ 25/10/1400هجری خورشیدی؛ ا. شربیانی

The funniest book I have ever read.

I love David Sedaris but I HATED his last book, 'Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk'. I'm hoping he redeems himself here. UPDATE: I read this book and I was happy to find short stories and essays. I laughed out loud many times. The story about the taxidermist is my favorite out of this collection.

The wonderfully titled Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls by David Sedaris was a real blast!  Sedaris at his best, small bites of la grecque cuisine deliciously smothered in a sauce of wicked, acerbic, and at times intimate hilarity imbued with an occasional, and somewhat surprising, persillade of vulgarity and abject cruelty. All sprinkled with macerated characters from his life, both family and strangers. I laughed a lot. Highlights for me included Sedaris harping on about his daggy Dad. I could really identify with his father’s underpant home get-up. As soon as Dad came home from work, all clothes were shed except his undies. He would then happily open the door to strangers, receive guests and sit at the dinner table like this. It is such a relief to have my own behaviour externally validated. Hey it’s comfy!  The story about his dad banging on about how good or great - one of David’s classmates was at swimming, was hilarity at its underpant-wetting best. Seriously funny. His Dad wouldn’t stop going on about this other kid’s Olympic prospects, his manner, his looks, everything. One day David beat him (amazingly) and all Sedaris’ dad could offer in the car on the way home was “Only Just”.  Sedaris’ visit to a taxidermist was uncomfortably funny. He went there to purchase a stuffed owl. Something he had been obsessed about for quite some time. He needed one. (Sedaris seems to have these obsessions – for example, towards the end of the book – he asked Hugh for a plastic model of a human throat for a Valentine’s Day gift – oh my, that induced a spontaneous guffaw.) Anyway, back to the taxidermy shop, the taxidermist immediately identified David as a certain type of individual and didn’t hesitate at showing him his special collection, such as a stuffed pygmy he dragged out of a secret cupboard. Apparently, this poor person was shot back in the day – David Sedaris, as you would expect, had a number of questions whirling around his mind – the main question being - ”how much?”. This Sedaris offering was slightly different from my previous experience as there are several short stories (4-8 pages) presented which have nothing to do with his direct life experiences. For example, in one memorable piece – the narrator was an intolerant conservative who was angry about the Government allowing Gay Marriage. ”What next -  marrying a pizza??”. There was also another great satirical piece where the narrator made a sign where she referred to the American President as an "Indonesian Muslim Welfare Thug Hands Off My Healthcare You Kenyan Socialist Baby Grandma Killer”. She asked her son for feedback, all he could say was “Well Mom…..it’s a little busy”. Sedaris is a master of observation to be sure. 4-Stars   

I needed this at the moment. The Coronavirus is pretty heavy and I will admit it's easy to get swept away in the cloud of panic hanging over the world and anxiety is high with most people right now. I would get in my car while all this was going on and listen to David spin his witty tales about life and his family and for the brief time I was in my car I was laughing and forgetting the anxiety of the world for the moment.I don't think this is his best collections, but there are plenty of laughs to be had and the levity was much needed. I think these laughs are important. I need to find some more funny authors and just run through them in my car. Who knows, I might not be driving so. As acupuncturist, we are part of the medical field and we are still open to help people, but that could change soon. Then I will need it in my home to listen too. The is something comforting to hear the neurotic stories of David that I have heard for years and it feels normal, a reminder of life that was normal. I know we will get through this and life will go on, but this is like 9/11 and life will change after this happens. It's good to hold onto the laughs from another time until the new laughs can come. I'm sure people will take this and help lift our spirits with comedy. Stephen Colbert is doing a decent job right now. I think laughter is a great medicine and we need that right now. Stories in this book are:Dentists Without BordersAttaboyThink DifferenterMemory LapsA Friend in the GhettoLoggerheadsIf I Ruled the WorldEasy, TigerLaugh, KookaburraStanding StillJust a Quick E-mailA Guy Walks into a Bar CarAuthor, AuthorObama!!!!!Standing ByI Break for Traditional Marriage (The also got a laugh out of me)Understanding Understanding Owls#2 to GoHealth-Care Freedom and Why I Want My Country BackNow Hiring Friendly PeopleRubbish (This one made me hee-haw. I love it.)Day In, Day OutMind the GapA Cold CaseThe Happy PlaceDog Days

’s Explore SedarisWhile I loved Sedaris' other book, Calypso, at first I was not so fond of this book and found it rather depressing. Not funny, Sedaris, I thought to tell him. Perhaps, Sedaris isn’t always supposed to be funny. I don’t know. There were just too many Dad stories. His verbally abusive father is a person that I would rather not think about or be around, much less desire to write about. Let sleeping dogs lie. So, I did not laugh much at all when listening to his father stories. But as I later found out, I had fallen to sleep when listening to his rants about his father, and when I awoke, and actually much later, I realized that I had missed many other stories.But before going on about the other chapters, there was one about his putting baby Logger Head turtles in an aquarium when he was a boy, and the horrible deaths of these three creatures, which felt like listening to a science project, as in, what happens when you don’t clean their little home and don’t feed them. Such is youth if you have parents that are not “aware” as they say and do not teach their children the value of animal life. Anyway, that was a bummer story. It will probably remain in my mind forever just as my sociopath psychiatrist boss came in to work one day and talked about frogs dying in water that was slowly heated up. Whenever the story pops up in a book or article, I cringe. But hey, my parents were not “aware” either and it took me many years to know the value of animal life. I recall burning ants with a match as they were crawling up a tree, and this just for the fun of it. But that was temporary and I didn’t do it but once or twice. But who knows what else I had done. Well, I remember, I shot frogs at the river once. Once was enough, and I still think about those frogs from time to time. Yet, I have known adults who still like to hunt, who still kill gophers in their yards, etc. I have cats for the latter, but we don’t have gophers. Never had. Used to have mice. And is it any different than buying meat? While the Buddhists think it is, I don’t. Yet, I eat meat. Just not much. So, actually, I haven’t really learned the true value of all life, except that I know that you sometimes have to eat meat in order to survive or even be healthy. Sedaris just tells it like it is, I suppose, and lets the chips fall where they may. Maybe that is why people like him. Me, I wonder how he comes up with these strange stories. I like that he is quirky and can deliver a story extremely well and that many of them are very funny. Whereas, a person he had narrating one or two of his books bored me because they couldn’t tell the story like he could. The delivery was all wrong. May as well read it myself, and when I read humor myself it is often not funny. It must be the punchlines that I cannot deliver. Anyway, I gave up on those books. Then I actually tried another one of his books that was narrated by Nick Sullivan. He is an excellent reader for when listening to him I almost forgot that it was not Sedaris speaking. Next, I discovered that I had missed his other chapters in this book, all because I had fallen to sleep in bed, at night. So I went back to listening. The father torture stories were over with. There must have only been about 4 of them. Sedaris was back to his funny self. He had lightened up. I was once again a happy camper.He talked about Rubbish. He and Hugh had moved to beautiful Sussex, England and had bought a run down cottage. I could relate, but instead of hiring workers like they had, my husband and I remodeled our house ourselves.Then I learned that he always went down his road and picked up garbage thrown out of cars. I have done the same. As I listened to his stories, they were much like my own. I had found a kindred spirit. I thought of him and me going down my road picking up garbage and talking about the horrible people who thought that our world was a garbage dump. I thought of my chiropractor who had gone to another state in the U.S. and saw no garbage. Yes. NO garbage. It was a colder state, maybe Minnesota. I just remember it began with an M. and that it was cold there. I think now that it is so cold there that people don’t open their car windows to toss out garbage.Then he wrote a chapter on President Obama. Pretty funny. He voted for him for the same reason that I had. He gave great speeches. I miss Obama so much. Next he was speaking about Trump. Then he talked about Jesus returning and how heads would fall. He also talked about Christians and their wish to rule the world. Doesn't everyone wish to rule the world? It's good he can find humor in it all. I wish I couldAnd with all the madness in this world that is at the moment since Trump is the center of it all, I am so grateful that Sedaris’ is here to cheer me up or even put me to sleep.

Humorist David Sedaris rummages through his life to compose the entertaining anecdotes in his books. Sedaris's stories range from his childhood, through his drug-hazed young adulthood, to his successful career as a writer and speaker. Sedaris was brought up in a large family; had a varied higher education (he dropped out a lot); held an assortment of jobs; met his life-partner Hugh; traveled widely; lived in Europe; and met many memorable people.....and he writes about all of it. Among other essays in the book Sedaris writes about his father, who liked to hang around the house in his boxer shorts; was captivated by a boy he thought was 'a future Olympic swimmer' on David's pre-teen swim team; touted Donny Osmond as a role model; spanked David for refusing to stop singing 'Kookaburra' after bedtime; constantly put David down; nagged (adult) David to get a colonoscopy; and more. As a child David was hurt by his father's incessant criticism and was convinced his dad would have preferred the prize-winning swimmer as a son. David also resented his mother for not interceding on his behalf, and constantly 'stirred the turd' - his mother's term for diverting negative attention to his siblings: too fat; gets bad grades; etc. David's stories about his family are funny, but also a little heart-breaking.In other essays Sedaris talks about his compulsion to record everything in his diaries.....to the point he has no time to actually DO things; the people in France censuring Americans before the 2008 election, certain we wouldn't elect a black President; giving condoms and hotel shampoos to teens who come to his readings; his entire colonoscopy.....from the induced diarrhea before to the obligatory farting afterwards; 😁 and much more.David Sedaris giving a reading*****Here are snippets from some stories I found especially amusing and/or memorable: - Sedaris went to a taxidermy shop in London, looking for a stuffed owl to give his boyfriend Hugh for Valentine's Day. The store had a couple of owls, but not the one David really wanted: a barn owl with "a spooky white face like a satellite dish with eyes." David Sedaris (right) with his boyfriend Hugh HamrickBarn owlSensing an interested customer, the shop owner brought out some "odd bits and pieces": a pygmy skeleton from a victim shot for sport; a man's hairy forearm, lost during a bar fight; and the 400-year-old head of an adolescent girl from South America. Afterwards, Sedaris mused, "The taxidermist....looked into my soul and recognized me for the person I really am: the type who’....could easily get over the fact that [the pygmy] had been murdered for sport, thinking breezily, Well, it was a long time ago.” 😏Pygmies with a Caucasian man*****Before Sedaris takes a trip to a foreign country he tries to learn a little of the language using a Pimsleur Language Program. The humorist didn't have time for a Mandarin program prior to a jaunt to China, so he made do with a phrase book. The book was divided into chapters like Banking, Shopping, Border Crossing, etc. One section, labeled 'Romance' had expressions like: - Would you like a drink?- You're a fantastic dancer.- You look like a cousin of mine (which would only work if you're Asian....and is kind of creepy anyway 🙂).A sub-section labeled 'Getting Closer' contained phrases like: - I like you very much.- Do you want a massage?- I want you. How about going to bed?Sedaris notes that the booklet didn't include the translation for "Leave the light on".....a MUST if you actually want to say any of these things. He pictures the vacationer naked on a bed squinting into his or her little book to moan, "Oh yeah! Easy tiger!".....and so on. *****Sedaris always chats with the people who come to his book signings, and advises that "the trick is to ask the right person the right question." One time a young woman stepped up to the table and David went blank, finally blurting out, "Uh....um....er.....when did you last touch a monkey?"The gal took a step back, saying, "Oh. Can you smell it on me?" Turns out she worked for 'Helping Hands', an organization that teaches monkeys to assist paralyzed people. 😎*****When Sedaris visited China he was appalled by the sanitary conditions (or lack thereof). The Chinese people were constantly dredging up phlegm and spitting it out everywhere - on staircases, escalators, sidewalks, walls, and so on. If people weren't spitting they were coughing without covering their mouths or shooting wads of snot out of their noses. Over dinner one night, a woman acquaintance told David, "We Chinese think it's best to just get it out."Another thing Sedaris noticed were the turds. Beijing had an "overwhelming amount of shit" - some from pets, but a lot from people. Chinese babies go without diapers, and - when they have to go - their parents direct them to the curb. One friend told David she saw a child go in the produce aisle of Walmart. To which David replied, "They have a Walmart here?" 😄(I'm not sure I buy this story about China, which seems exaggerated.)*****At the end of the book Sedaris includes six monologues that teenagers can use for 'Forensics Competitions", in which participants memorize and deliver previously published short stories or essays. Sedaris's 'forensics stories' are generally more sardonic than funny, but I got a few laughs. In one story, a self-satisfied woman slowly reveals that she stole her newly paralyzed sister's husband and wed him at a grand affair; in a second tale, a man goes crazy when same-sex marriage is legalized, and murders his wife and daughter; and in a third monologue, a high school coed goes on a class trip to England and returns completely 'anglicized'.....with a British accent and a slew of britishisms. This story really IS funny.I listened to the audiobook of 'Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls', narrated by David Sedaris, and found it very entertaining. I'd highly recommend the book to people who like humorous memoirs. You can follow my reviews at https://reviewsbybarbsaffer.blogspot....

Every so often I need a Sedaris fix and this collection was just what I was needing. Even though I read this I could clearly hear his voice in my head and that just makes it all the better.

4 1/2.

The most embarrassing part about writing a review of a David Sedaris book is the moment when you realize that what you are really trying to do is to write a David Sedaris-style essay. Something cute about how you were reading his book on the subway and you started laughing so hard that even the drunk homeless people moved away from you, but slowly because they hoped you wouldn't notice. You'd segue into a bit about how this made you realize that even when everyone around you makes you feel like a singular freak, you can still feel a profound connection to this man you've never met, because when he writes about his crystal meth addiction and being paddled by his father, he does it SO WELL that you actually think to yourself (contrary to all the evidence), "That's just like MY life!". Then of course you realize that your enterprise is doomed, because David Sedaris is David Sedaris and you are just you, and no, he probably wouldn't want to hang out with you in real life because, well, obviously.

David Sedaris makes me smile and laugh. This is my third audio book of his, and it won’t be my last. Great way to get out of an audiobook slump.