My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward audiobook

It’s very hard to stop thinking about this story.....Ruthless- Brutally Honest - AT SOME POINT ....not too far into this memoir....I COULD NO LONGER PULL MYSELF AWAY. It’s GUT WRENCHING....on so many different levels. It’s not only an inside look at the onset of a psychotic breakdown- a full blown breakdown- the realities of suffering - ( frustration- fear - grief- anger- resentments - remorse- hopelessness- etc. on the caretaker), but this book exposes imperfections - complications- and limitations with mental health care hospitalization itself. I was cringing several times: for example when it was ‘clear’ that Giulia needed to be hospitalized ( each time was the ‘same’ story) - she had to wait until they found a hospital where there was an opening for her. Kaiser Hospital in SF doesn’t have their own psyche ward- so they must use other hospitals in the Bay Area. One of the hospitals was over an hour drive away. I FELT ANGRY WITH MARK- Giulia’s husband. He loved his wife - wanted to visit her ( only an hour a day during visiting hours) - but his drive was longer each way. Plus he had to find childcare for his young son ‘under’ the age of a year. VERY STRESSFUL daily life!!! Plus, the real worry and concern that his relationship of love and equal compassion would never be the same. HIS LIFE WAS OVER AS IT ONCE WAS. There were so many trial and errors with medication - and proper diagnosis. In the meantime - Mark couldn’t find out what was happening to his wife ‘unless’ she signed papers saying he had permission. Like I said earlier: This memoir is GUT WRENCHING ON *MANY* LEVELS........(but our awareness and compassion expands from reading it). THIS BOOK MAKES YOU THINK ABOUT HAVING A GOOD HONEST CONVERSATION WITH YOUR OWN SPOUSE— for ANY needed lengthy hospitalization- ( not ‘just’ mental illness).... YEARS AHEAD OF A NEED! - preventative talks! ......The book ‘cover’ almost kept me from reading this book. It’s too romantic looking at first glance. I’m not sure what ‘would’ represent this story better— but the book ‘cover’ isn’t balance accurately in my opinion.....being a little too rosy looking. This story is everything ‘but’ rosy. .......My heart broke for Mark: husband, caretaker, father, dog owner, freelance writer, history teacher, fitness-athlete-guy. .......If I’m honest - there were times when I just couldn’t stand Giulia.....but then I felt bad: I know she was sick. ITS HARD TO LIKE SICK PEOPLE WHO GET MEAN WHEN SICK. Her illness had a life of its own. Nobody would choose to live with a mental illness - so yes- my heart goes out to her too. AND.....Giulia wasn’t always a mean-disease-machine. .......Both sets of parents of Mark and Giulia were inspiring people to me. Supportive without being demanding and crossing boundaries. Great role models for in-laws. .........There are lovely moments in this story too: not every moment is bleak.MARK & GIULIA - remind us of the couple next door - wholesome - committed to their relationship - value family - their jobs - their shared love of travel - the beach - biking - soccer - surfing the gym- aerobic classes together — running- taking turns cooking and doing the dishes - playing with their dog- the incredible happiness in the birth of their son. NOT ‘EXTREME’ FINANCIAL STRESS ( at least it didn’t seem to me)—-was a helpful. BUT.......The lives of Mark and Giulia will never be fully secure in knowing that ‘another’ psychotic breakdown could be around the corner again for Giulia. Bless this couple - this family.Real - raw - intimate - page turning - and a terrific contribution.A gift! HIGHLY RECOMMEND READING IT!

I am a book snob. I admit it. I rip apart verbage, punctuation, pace, character arcs, you name it. I am critical. I give this book five stars without batting an eye. I don't think people can possibly recognize how personally terrifying Mark's level of candor and transparency is. The courage it took for both him and Giulia to agree on publishing his memoir is staggering. Mark's wife, Giulia, has her first psychotic break shortly after they are married. He shares the story of the struggles, victories, heartbreaks, and every other roller coaster of emotion they experience. And he doesn't pull punches. Speaking from a place of professionalism and personal experience, this is one of the truest books and bravest books I've read. I am a psychiatric nurse. Additionally, my family has a rampant history of mental illness, both in my immediate and married family. He described the emotions and struggles of supporting a mentally ill loved one perfectly. These are the stories that will help defeat the stigma still wrapped around mental health. Terrifying. Yes. Loving and personal. Also yes. The writing was raw. They didn't do everything right. No one does. They weren't perfect. They struggled, fought, and figured it out. But that's real. The book managed to pair the dark reality of mental illness with humor and heart warming moments that offered hope. I cringed when he described the first unit Giulia was ever admitted to. What a hot mess. Granted, being it was her first experience in a psychiatric unit, fear of the unknown probably colored their perspective as well. But yikes. I cringed. Please, God, let that experience never happen to our patients. My biggest critique for this book didn't come from the "story" or the "writing style." I felt a little frightened when he started talking about "antipsychiatry." I was thinking, "Please don't go there; please don't go there." BUT it pulled out of a nose dive and he actually described them going through a process I'm heavily in favor of. He called it "mad mapping" (a term I've never heard prior to this book). We actually call it a mental health advance directive and strongly encourage all our patients to plan it out when they are at their baseline. So my critique isn't actually a critique at all. Just professional musing. Who should read this? Everybody. Absolutely everybody. Professionals- as a reminder of the perspective from the other side. The minute we lose our empathy and love for what we do, we need to quit. There is no room for impatient, bitter mental health providers in any unit. Family of those supporting a person with mental illness- you're not alone. This book is a comfort and pays homage to the courageous battle we fight every day. Those with mental illness- your battle is seen! Not only that, but it's enlightening to see the persective of a caregiver who questions their role in the health of their loved one. And maybe most importantly- the few people out there blessed enough to not have a clue. With the utmost respect, many of the comments I've seen for this book tell me who is blessed enough to still be naive to the reality of psychiatric units, sleepless nights with loved ones, need for FMLA, the list goes on and on. No one can hold that against anyone: you don't know what you don't know. But it's so important to recognize our knowledge gaps. This book is important. Consider picking it up. I can vouch for the reality of everything written. From the psychiatric units and medications to the marital issues and stressors they faced. I'd rate this a PG-13 for language and thematic content.

Sometimes a title of a book stands out and cries out to be read and for me this screamed “read me”From the first page you get a deep sense that Giulia and Mark, are in a very loving relationship. When she gets a new job she doubts herself and isolates herself from Mark. This is the first chink in their relationship!! I really felt for Mark having to watch the one you love slide into despair and not being able to help is soul destroying. This book beautifully dealt with mental health and the battles it entails. There is no quick fix, you have to learn how to individually deal with it as every situation is different.This book will stay with me long after reading it, poignant and thought provoking!!Thank you to netgalley for my copy In exchange for a review.

I am a sucker for love stories, and “My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward” was no exception. As an aspiring allied health professional, memoirs about mental health and mental illness are invaluable to me. Sure, in school we learn about psychopathology, but we rarely cover the human side of mental disorders. Who is the person behind the diagnosis? What are they like outside the hospital walls? This year, I read some astounding memoirs by patients and medical professionals. But this was my first time reading about mental illness from a caregiver’s perspective. It made me realize how important books like this are. Illness is cruel. It does not just impact the patient. Illness carries with it a ripple effect.Mark met Julia when he was just 18-years-old. He fell in love with her right away. Julia was impeccable - ambitious, stunning, and outgoing. He realized life was not perfect, but his time with Julia came pretty darn close to perfection. But everything changed after Julia had a psychotic breakdown. She started experiencing delusions, paranoia, and auditory hallucinations. They thought it was a temporary event. Little did they know this one episode would change their marriage forever. As Julia’s condition worsened, Mark sticks by her side through the ups and downs, sickness and health. Mark narrates this story with relentless vulnerability. He does not romanticize or sugarcoat the reality of being a caregiver. It is a tough job. Taking care of his wife was overwhelming, exhausting, and frustrating. He had to leave his teaching job, sacrifice sleep, and delay plans to have children. Instead, his time became occupied with his Julia’s illness. Keeping track of her medication regime, hospital visits, and suicide attempts were his top priority. He felt helpless. Here was a person he loved who was disappearing under the wrath of an illness he had no control over. He understood none of this was Julia’s fault, but he detested the illness for changing their marriage. Unlike most professionals, when you love someone, you see them without a medical gaze. You see them for who they are. You can create a separation between them and the illness. And because Mark could see Julia for who she is, he persisted. Despite her psychotic episodes, he did not leave Julia’s side.Overall, this was a heartwarming, romantic, and inspiring story. It made me realize how imperfect relationships are. We all have shortcomings, but I think marriage succeeds when you can love the other person despite their faults. It was beautiful to see Mark and Julia support each other. Julia’s illness might have tested their marriage, but they were also able to grow stronger because of it. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has a spouse or partner with a mental illness.

This book was well written and really took you through the experience of being a family member of someone with mental illness episodes that take over your life at times. I found it rather gripping and read it at one go. Author Mark Lukach met his wife Giulia when they were teenagers, they married and moved to San Francisco and life was looking good when they were blindsided by a psychotic episode that turned their world upside down. This was an enlightening read that was very honestly done.

Just finished listening to the library’s borrowed copy of Mark Lukach’s book “My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward:. . . .what a journey. . . that continues on just like our own.Sobering, serious, sad, happy, victorious, hopeful, limiting, confined, difficult, hard, not fair. In our world we hunger to label things, people, situations. From our earliest years we name them (read: label) as if that will confine / define them and contain all their messy edges and borders. Labeling helps dissolve fear, and if even slightly clever or risky can grant us power if we are in a contextually appropriate group. This book is a triumphant response to that auto-labeling: HA! You CAN’T! You can’t just call her crazy and be done with it. In fact, this family’s every day, every moment, every move reinstates, underscores and insists on constant re-evaluation of all that is in the present, past and future. Are you a True Believer? I am, I like to think, in unison with the heart of the hoped for answer for which Jonas asks that question.Kudos to this family, to Mark for writing so openly, laying out all the vulnerabilities and hurts and hopes; and to the other family members, nuclear and extended who support them; and to the health community that is in the mix. Kindness, tolerance and true believing. May the Love Tree stand for always and always.

This was very real!!! I always love and appreciate memoirs so much! Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful story!

This book was painfully beautiful. I loved it all, my copy is so marked up with notes and tabs on the pages. I only hope to be loved in this life the way Mark loves Giulia. A heart catching read about love, family, and mental health.

I have always dealt with a bit of depression, my whole life. Right after Olivia it was at its absolute worst, and it was the first time that I felt like I had to medicate myself. I felt shame and absolute humiliation. After about eight months I felt nothing at all so I wanted to get off of them so I just stopped. About a year later our marriage hit a major bump in the road and I thought for sure we were getting a divorce but the day I went to file I found out I was pregnant, so there I was, my husband was jobless, I was pregnant with an almost two year old, and I had divorce papers in hand, cue mental break down. So I was put back on an anti-depressant that was safe for pregnancy. I cried all of the time but I felt nothing at all so I don't know how helpful it was. As soon as I could get off of it, I did. I went several years with no medication, I had bouts of feeling down, but I managed it with diet and exercise. I tried to fill my schedule with fun things so I didn't give myself the time to go into the hole. Then we had Lucy. All hell has broken loose. Since then I have struggled with mental health. A lot. Enough that I am seriously considering checking myself into a three month facility, anywhere that will help me, that can focus on trauma and depression. I don't know if I'm fixable but I know I can't live like this forever. I know that there is a real quality versus quantity argument in my head when it comes to me as a mother and the mother my children had before Lucy is gone, she is not ever coming back. The mother they have now is terrible. She's mean, she's not present, and she doesn't want to be here. It's the worst feeling in the world, so I identified with Giulia so much in this book. But it also made me feel guilty because I bet my husband Matt could identify with Mark in the book because I know immediately after Lucy's birth Matt felt helpless and had no idea what to do. I imagine that's the spot he's in now with my depression but I can't help him because I don't know what to do either. This book follows the story of Mark and Giulia. The meet in college, fall in love, get married, and start their lives in the most idyllic way we all hope to. It's perfect. They start their careers, they both have plans, they get an awesome dog named Goose, and all is well. Except things start happening with Giulia. It starts with a lack of sleep and ended in a terrifying first psychotic break. Her first hospital stay was confusing, terrifying, They both soon learn that the mental health system in America is essentially is a guessing game, nobody actually knows how to diagnose or treat you, it's all about treating you with medications and messing around with dosages and hoping for the best. Everyone responds differently and what works for you for awhile, might inexplicably stop working and you're right back in the hospitable. I identified with Giulia's frustrations and her anger at losing her independence and her inability to feel heard- that's how I feel so often. But at the same time, I understand Mark's frustration because as a parent your child's safety and well being as to come first. I can understand Giulia not wanting to be on medication long term, a lot of them make you feel absolutely awful and the side effects are no joke. I want to share one of the passages in the book that really spoke to me. I have had a really hard time trying to describe what my AFE and Lucy's birth has done to me and to Matt, but our marriage, too. Everyone keeps telling us how lucky we are to have each other and it's all I can do to roll my eyes and not punch them in the face because I feel so angry. But this. This is what it's like: "It's like you've survived a tsunami, Mark. I'm sure you've saw the footage from the tsunami that hit Indonesia. Entire buildings wiped out. People swept away. Horrifying stuff. It's not hard to imagine you and Giulia on one of those beaches. You were in bliss together, and then the wave hit. You grabbed on to a tree and each other and held on as the waved pushed and pulled and tried its damnedest to rip you apart, but you kept holding on. For nine months, you held on."... "Exactly!" I said. "Which should feel good, right? So many people don't survive. Families are torn apart by mental illness. Ours wasn't. People kill themselves every day. Giulia didn't. So why don't I feel happy?" "Look around you, Mark," my therapist said. "Look at the carnage: the demolished hotels, the uprooted trees, the crumpled cars. The realization that not everyone made it. The worst is over. But the way you once knew it, is gone." She was right. Nothing was the same. Nothing could ever be the same. Our bliss, our puppy love from college, our charmed lives, it was all gone. Giulia's psychosis and depression would color the rest of our relationship. Maybe even my own happiness wouldn't come as easily as it always had. I would have to work for it and have the courage to do the work."And that is what scares me. That my depression is going to color everyone else's happiness. It's one thing for it to change the rest of my life, one thing for me to be the one to actively have to work at it but for everyone else in my family to have work at being happy every day because of me? To me, that is unacceptable. I am not OK with that and that really upsets me. This book also shows you, in heartbreaking detail, that the vows "in sickness and health" are difficult to adhere to and shouldn't be said flippantly but often are. So often young couples stand at an altar and just say their vows without really thinking about what they mean and give up so easily on marriage. When things get hard, or they don't know what to do, they get divorced and hope the next go round is easier. Mark and Giulia are proving that while it isn't easy, it isn't without rewards. They may have difficult times but they have good times too. And just... my heart goes out to you guys. I'm terrified of my own journey because I'm cognizant enough to realize that I'm not getting better. I don't know what's wrong with me but I know I'm not dealing with simple depression anymore and I know I'm not going to be able to be flippant about my medication anymore and I need help and I am terrified to be hospitalized. I'm grateful that Matt hasn't thrown in the damn towel because I know I am a nightmare to deal with right now. But this story is just everything. I devoured it this weekend, I cried. It's no coincidence that it's Mother's Day weekend, I was an emotional hot mess and this book was everything that I needed. Five stars. Easily. You need this in your life. If you, or someone you love struggles with mental illness I highly encourage you to read this book.

There were many parts that I really liked in this book, the story is mostly terrifying. A woman, maybe one that tend to be much more stressed than the average person, one day loses her sanity completely. Giulia grew intolerably frustrated by our inability to understand her. She rolled onto her back, pulled her knees toward her chest, and chanted, “Voglio morire, voglio morire, voglio morire.” I want to die, I want to die, I want to die. At first she hissed through her teeth, then she started shouting, “VOGLIO MORIRE, VOGLIO MORIRE!” in an aggressive roar. “Get out! The Devil is here and he wants you. You need to leave now!”I am a bit torn about Mark, our story teller. He is a martyr, sacrificing so much. But he is describing himself at the center of this. And at some point he even admits it. He even has a small breakdown around it. It bothered me at some point how much it was about him. Even the name of the book, "my lovely wife", is a bit bothering. We don't even know anything about Giulia, except that she has mental illness. To start with, Guilia and Mark got together and got married, too immature as the story goes. They were in love, sure, but they didn't know each other at all, and both were young and careless and knew almost nothing about themselves or each other. That makes it much harder to go through crisis times together. That maybe also explains some of Mark's coping with the tough situation.And of course, Mark's position is tough, close to impossible. His wife is losing it. And he is not even allowed to see her medical reports (since she didn't approve this). He is trying to be supportive, and his wife seems to get out of the psych award way before she is normal again. Now he is spending much time with her parents, and everyone is in a giant pressure cooker. Later on, after she gets back to normal in the same abrupt way like she got in to it. They hope she is not one of the 90%. Ninety percent of the time psychosis recurs. She is part of the ninety percent. And it is even harder when they decide to bring a baby to the world, and his mom needs to take drugs regularly. The book got a bit repetitive at some point with all the in and out of the hospital. And it could be better edited. But really, the main thing would be to edit Mark's self centered world view.I loved the preparation that they did after the second or third time. They agreed on the terms of what to do if Giulia's situation seem to be an event of relapse. They went a long way, made tough decisions, and tried to make it happen when relapse happened. That's the main reason that this book is not just 3 stars but closer to 4. One thing that I really didn't like is Mark emphasizing again and again to how their son Jonas prefers him to Julia, and gets more attention from him than Julia. Some of that is "necessary" for the story, but some of that just seem like his need to talk about himself. Guilia is the working parent in their household, he decided to be a stay-at-home dad (but complained about it in abundance. btw, no one has to do this, there are daycares in the world). And when Guilia is sick, it is hard to blame her of not being attentive to any of them.Almost 4 stars. because it is an enchanting topic, and the pre-agreement of how to take care of relapses sounds worth spreading (and not only in sickness situations). Mark himself gets only 2 stars from me.I highly want to recommend Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan, that gives the point of view of Susannah from the point of view of a sick person, about her own sickness and hospitalization.

Please check out my book blog: www.thebuzzingbookmark.comI found this one to be a really fascinating, sad, eye-opening memoir. I've always had a little bit of a fascination with mental illness and how people cope with it in their lives, if they ever do. This book is ultimately both a memoir and an autobiography. In the book, the author talks about his relationship with his wife, how he coped with his wife's sudden onset of mental illness and the struggles that he went through. This is the memoir part. But then the author also focuses on his wife, how she coped, what the diagnosis did to her and how she acted and reacted. That is the autobiography part. Although I felt extremely sorry for Giulia and her bipolar diagnosis, which must have been devastating, the person that I felt most sorry for when reading this true account, was Giulia's husband and the author of this book, Mark. I cannot even vaguely begin to imagine what it must be like to see the person that you love crumbling before your eyes. Giulia become unloving, rude, withdrawn, selfish and all these things were aimed at her husband Mark, who was just trying to remain a rock and a constant support. And of course I realize that Giulia didn't have any control over her emotions, or over how she treated Mark, but I couldn't help feel incredibly sorry for him and a little bit irritated with her. I must also mention at this stage, that I found this account to be incredibly honest, and I must applaud Giulia for this as I'm sure she needed to agree to Mark including some of the scenes that he included in the book. For example, there is a scene where Giulia has been released from hospital and she is back at home and Mark asks her to do the dishes after dinner. She is in her room, lying in bed and says no, she doesn't want to do them and he must do them. It's a scene that got my blood boiling because Mark had basically given up his whole life for months and months, he had done everything for Giulia and had looked after her constantly, and she couldn't even do the dishes! This is just one example of a small scene that could have been left out of the book, but wasn't. It's such a normal, every day thing, but yet it was included in the book and it was honest and brutal. Overall, this was a really great read. It's always difficult to rate a memoir / autobiography because it's always difficult to rate someone's real life experiences. I do try and remember that the pacing will be different to a fiction novel, as will the gripping nature of the read. But this one was great. It was incredibly interesting and eye-opening, it was sad but also hopeful. The love that Mark shows for Giulia is incredible and amazing. My personal feeling is that I'm not quite as confident that Giulia shows the same depth of love for Mark, but that's just my personal feeling. This is a wonderful memoir that I'm sure many people will "enjoy" (it's difficult to say enjoy due to the nature of the read). I'm sure that many of you will find something in this read to lift your spirits. I know that I did. And here's wishing all the best to both Mark and Giulia, for their life together. My Rating: * * * * Publication Date: August 2017 (South Africa) Genre: Memoir Format: Trade Paperback Source: Review copy received from the publisher. Many thanks to author, Mark Lukach and Pan Macmillan SA for my copy. It was my pleasure to read and review this title.

This is an incredible story and I was very interested to see what would happen next with Giulia’s condition. It’s amazing what some people have to go through.https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu1zBDRH8...

Be aware that this is a very difficult book to read if you suffer from any type of panic or anxiety disorder.