Not My Father’s Son audiobook

Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome! Settle in for a story that is appalling and entertaining, hopeful and disappointing, reflective and sometimes ephemeral. Life is disappointing? Forget it. It is a good thing that this advice was not followed. Remembering seems more the thing. We have no troubles here. Here life is beautiful. Ummm, not so much. And now, Meine Damen und Herren, Mes Dames et Messieurs, Ladies and Gentlemen, Ich bin eur confrencier, je suis votre compere…I am your host. the star of our show: Cumming in the 1998 production - from Fanpop.com “You need a haircut, boy!” My father had only glanced at me across the kitchen table as he spoke but I had already seen in his eyes the coming storm.I tried to speak but the fear that now engulfed me made it hard to swallow, and all that came out was a little gasping sound that hurt my throat even more. And I knew speaking would only make things worse, make him despise me more, make him pounce sooner. That was the worst bit, the waiting. I never knew exactly when it would come, and that, I know, was his favorite part. Alan Cumming, star of stage and screen, notable Cabaret emcee, introducer of Masterpiece Mystery, bluish X-man, Smurf voice, and political operative Eli Gold on The Good Wife, among many other memorable characters, was raised on a large estate in Scotland. His father, Alex, was the head groundskeeper. He was also a mercurial and often cruel and violent parent to both Alan and his older brother Tom, offering ambiguous instructions to the boys and almost always finding the resulting work unsatisfactory, an excuse to justify the punishment that usually followed. Cumming’s experience as a battered child, coming to terms as an adult with some of the reasons for his harsh upbringing, and attempting to finally, decades later, move past it, is the core of the story in Not My Father’s Son. But this is not just a story of the father he knew. It is also about the grandfather he had never met. Mary Darling and Alex Cumming – wedding day - from the NY TimesIn 2010, Cumming, having attained a certain level of celebrity, was invited by the British show Who Do You Think you Are (now in the USA as well) to be a subject for their weekly genealogy quest program. The research that was intrinsic to this process would cast light on a black hole in his family history. As awful as his father was, Mary Darling, Alan’s mother, was his angel, always supporting and nurturing him. Within limits, of course. She did not seem to do a very good job of preventing her husband from tormenting their sons. She had last seen her own father, Tommie Darling, when she was eight years old. He had supposedly died in a gun accident in Malaysia in 1951. The family knew very little about him, and had few remnants of his existence. The TV show would follow that trail and find out what had happened to Tommie. (There is a link to the entire program in the EXTRA STUFF section below) Just before this process began, Alan’s father, long estranged, got in touch, passing along a disturbing piece of information.As Eli Gold and Nightcrawler - from NothingButMemory.netOne part of this memoir is travelling along and peeling back the layers of the mystery that was Tommie Darling. (Peter Pan was not involved) As researchers for the program unearth more and more information about Tommie, Alan learns more and more about not only his family, but sees in his ancestor traits he recognizes in himself. Masterpiece Mystery host - from the Boston HeraldChapters alternate, more or less, between now (2010) and then, the years of Alan’s childhood, the new work prodding recollections of the past. However, it is not all childhood and now. Cumming also tells of his breakdown at age 28 when he was starring in a London production of Hamlet, rehearsing for his breakthrough role as the emcee in the London revival of Cabaret and planning to have a child with his wife. There is some detail here. Later he tells of meeting his current mate when he was 39. He seems to have packs of friends, who remain mostly nameless, in both London and New York, and who function as scenery, for the most part. He offers a few tales from his acting life. When I joined Twitter I described myself as “Scottish elf trapped inside a middle aged man’s body” and I still think that’s accurate. Despite Cumming’s elfishness, there is not much comedy in the book. Although Cumming the performer does indeed present a pixie-ish facade, the only real laugh, at least for me, was when he talked about Patti Smith and a particular vile habit of hers. A story about attempting to film against the incessant noise in South Africa during a particularly noisy World Cup is another light moment. A youthful masturbatory scene that one thinks might be queasily amusing turns in another, far more substantive direction. The two parts of this story now seem so clearly connected, mirroring each other perfectly. I had lost a father but found a grandfather. One of them had never sought the truth and lived a life based on a lie; the other’s truth was hidden from us because society deemed it unsuitable. Both caused strife, and sadness. But now, both combined to reinforce for me what I knew to be the only truth: there is never shame in being open and honest. It was shame that prevented us from knowing what a great man Tommy Darling was. And it was shame that made my father treat me and Tom and my mum the way he did. Not My Father’s Son is a moving and fascinating tale, and probably would not have been told had Cumming not been world famous. TV programs do not seek out the likes of you or me to give them permission to travel the world looking into our backgrounds. Most of us do not have the resources to delve into our family history so richly. It remains to be seen if the book would have been written had the TV program not been made. Cumming had indeed been thinking about his childhood for some time, but it was the show that prompted him to move ahead with it. What Cumming’s talent did was give him a way to get out of a bad situation. A lesser light might have dimmed if left in that place. One thing the book might do is prompt a bit of reflection. Surely there are leafless branches on all our family trees and Cumming’s tale of looking into his might encourage some of us to consider looking into some of ours. And maybe to look a bit closer at even our known history for a bit of help in explaining how we became the people we are. Tom, Mary and Alan at Tommie’s graveI have admired Alan Cumming as a performer ever since seeing him in the New York revival of Cabaret back in 1998. I now admire him as a writer as well. He has written a moving memoir of a father lost and a grandfather gained. It is rich with reflection, insight, pain, and healing. Any decent father would be bursting with pride to have a son capable of writing such a book.Review first posted – 10/17/14Publication date – 10/7/14 This review has also been posted at Cootsreviews.com. Stop by and say Hi!=============================EXTRA STUFFLinks to the author’s personal and Twitter pagesHe is not on Facebook. Some miscreants have posed as him, but those pages have been taken downDefinitely check out his site. It is a cornucopia of info.NY Times article on CummingHere is the full Who Do You Think You Are episode from September 2010 Series 7, Episode 9) - thanks to Richard Derus for passing along the link, previously removed. — oops, looks like this link is no longer working. When/if I find another one that does the trick I will post it here. 🙁 -- Found another link. (June 2019) I guess it will work until it doesn't.

Audiobook......Alan Cumming, Scottish and American actor, singer/performer, author, and activist....survived the most horrific childhood from brutal emotional and physical abuse. His father who would inflict harm on him with no warning. This is a very powerful audiobook - hard to pull away from. It's a suspenseful memoir. Alan doesn't hold back. He said that his difficult childhood taught him how to act by needing to suppress his own emotions and feelings around his father when he was a little boy. He does have some happy memories of his childhood-and a special 'survival-closeness' with his mother and brother, Tom. Alan appeared on the UK show, "Who Do You Think You Are?"..... A show where famous people came on to find out more in-depth history about their genealogy. Alan asked the show to look into his grandfather who he had not seen since he had been a little boy... but Alan gets much more than he asked for involving his father and things get very complex and shocking. As sad as Alan's childhood was - horrible painful experiences- ( and the storytelling moves back and forth between his childhood days and his adult days) - ultimatelythis is an inspiring/ empowering story. He doesn't live a life as a victim. We see clearly from Alan's story the value from digging up the hidden 'truths'. We see what suppressing costs a person --and the courage it takes to make peace with abuse --breakthrough to live life to the fullest! Very inspiring for anyone who has suffered from abuse. The audiobook is excellent with Alan reading his own book!

“Sometimes people do you a favour when they drop out of your life.”The scars of an abusive childhood form the backdrop for Alan Cumming's : Not My Father's Son. I really enjoy memoirs, but I sometimes have to question why I enjoy them. Scenes from Cumming's childhood were brutal; in addition to outright violence, his father knew just what to do to make sure Cumming and his brother never received approval or validation for anything they did. This is not a childhood we would wish on anyone. Does Cumming rise above this childhood? Does he redeem himself from the horror of living in fear from those who should support and love him? When we read memoirs, I think we expect the author to reconcile him/herself with their painful past. I'm not sure that happened entirely. While preparing for an episode of the UK version of : Who Do You Think You Are, Cumming's estranged and abusive father interjects himself into his son's life. While the program was showcasing a mystery in Cumming's family (a maternal grandfather who disappeared when he was Cumming was a boy), this other side of his family arguably demonstrated a more enduring impact. There is certainly power in laying bare such truths. Many would prefer such stories to remain buried, but they are the truths by which we live our imperfect lives.

Review of the audio read by Alan Cumming. Just a few thoughts I have to get down. Audios read by the author are always among my favorites. There is an honesty there that I connect with, and that was even more true with Alan Cumming's reading of Not My Father's Son. This was a deeply personal account of Alan's childhood, his harsh and violent father, his loving mother (I loved her name "Mary Darling"), and his forgotten and misunderstood grandfather. This is a solid, heartfelt memoir. Well-done.

The puckishly charismatic actor Alan Cumming (The Good Wife, Spy Kids, Cabaret) delves into his horrific childhood and uncovers secrets from his family's history in this brave, beautifully written and honest memoir. The book is anything but a typical celebrity tell-all.Through a BBC genealogy reality TV show called Who Do You Think You Are?, Cumming learns about his maternal grandfather – who died under mysterious circumstances in his 30s – at the same time that his physically and emotionally abusive father reveals he might not be his biological dad.Both events – which together have the feel of an ancient Greek drama – set in motion a life-changing journey that's full of heart, humour and hope. Be prepared for some hard-to-read scenes of abuse. Cumming’s father Alex, a manager of a Scottish estate, systematically brutalized and belittled both Alan and his older brother Tom when they were younger. He also carried on a series of affairs in front of the boys and their mother, Mary Darling. Alan suppressed these disturbing memories; only after experiencing a nervous breakdown in his early 20s – while playing Hamlet – did they return.In one of several wise and funny observations, Alan says his difficult childhood – with his father claiming he was worthless and his mother saying the opposite – prepared him for a career in show business. If you believed one, he suggests, you had to believe the other. So he learned not to take things personally in the ego-crushing industry.The book’s time-jumping structure takes some time to get used to, but it’s a lot more interesting than a straightforward chronological approach. And there’s a lot to pack in, including stories about three generations of family, the odd celebrity anecdote (look for the amusing story involving Patti Smith, Marion Cotillard and Mary J. Blige in Cannes) and mention of Cumming's marriages (one to a woman, while in his 20s, the other to a man, while in his 40s).As Cumming’s past catches up with his present – and he bravely confronts his demons – there are some remarkable sequences, which I won’t spoil here. But I should say that having read Not My Father's Son, I now have so much more respect for Cumming as a man and an artist. His story is inspiring and life-affirming.

“Sometimes people do you a favour when they drop out of your life.” Truth.I’m struggling with my words here, so I’m just going to simplify them. Alex Cumming (Alan’s dad) was a raging, abusive asshole. Astonishingly, Alan Cumming is not. He really ought to be, growing up in Hell, instead he seems to have come through to the other side as a pretty fantastic fella. I’d love to tell him that in person and give him a hug.Growing up in a situation with a man who could (and would) blow his top at the slightest provocation, Alan had to learn to act. He learned well. It was an awful way to learn his craft, but Alan attributes this skill to having to act his way around his dad……to learn how not to set him off. Alan is not only a great actor, he’s a pretty darn good writer as well. He has done a good job here moving back and forth through time and pulling the two together in a way that makes sense. It’s a compelling, emotional, open and honest memoir and I highly recommend it.Yes it’s dark, but it also has some funny in it too.“For yes, being a woman, even one with a penis and for the purposes of drama, really made me feel that women have been coerced into a way of presenting themselves that is basically a form of bondage. Their shoes, their skirts, even their nails seem designed to stop them from being able to escape whilst at the same time drawing attention to their sexual and secondary sexual characteristics. And I think that has happened so that men feel they can ogle them and protect them in equal measure.” What pushed this book over the top for me and made it a five star was that I listened to the audio version read by the author. Being that he can act and that this is his story, he did it very well and added the perfect amount of emotion at all the right moments.In fact, I could listen to him read Heaven is for Real, front to back, and not gag once…..or the phone book, the bible, the menu from Cracker Barrel…..he’s just that good.

Alan CummingAlan Cumming is a Scottish actor who's probably best known in America for hosting "Masterpiece Theater" on PBS and playing Eli Gold on "The Good Wife." Alan Cumming as Eli Gold on 'The Good Wife'He's also a very successful stage and movie actor, now happily married to his husband Grant. Alan Cumming (right) and his husband Grant Alan's life wasn't always so bright though. In this memoir Alan talks about growing up with a father, Alex Cumming, who was physically, psychologically, and emotionally abusive. Alan Cumming (center) as a young boy with his parents Alex and MaryThe book starts off with a bang as Alan describes a childhood scene where his vicious father yanked him out to the barn, threw him down on a table, and roughly shaved his head with sheep shears. Alan and his brother Tom lived in constant fear of their dad, who perpetually criticized and banged them around. Alan Cumming (left) and his brother Tom The impetus to write this book came from Alan's planned 2010 appearance on the British TV show "Who Do You Think You Are?". Celebrities who go on the show have aspects of their ancestry/past revealed, things that are often a surprise to them. (In an American version of this show, for example, Ben Affleck was shocked to learn his ancestors owned slaves.)Alan Cumming on the British TV show 'Who Do You Think Your Are?In Alan's case, he hoped to find out more about his maternal grandfather, Tommy Darling. Tommy survived fighting in World War II but didn't come home when hostilities ended. Instead Tommy became a police officer in Malaya, where he was supposedly killed by an accidental gunshot wound. Alan Cumming's grandfather Tommy Darling became a police officer in MalayaTommy left behind his wife, Mary Darling, and four children. The Darlings struggled to get by without Tommy's income or pension. Alan wanted to find out more about this mysterious granddad, as well as other aspects of his own past. While Alan was filming "Who Do You Think You Are?" - which required traveling around the world with the show's production team - Alex Cumming dropped a bombshell. He revealed that he wasn't Alan's father. Alex claimed that he had caught his wife leaving a bedroom with another man nine months before Alan was born, and that this man was Alan's father. According to Alex he wanted to give Alan a heads-up so the actor wouldn't be blindsided when this news came to light on the TV show. The book jumps back and forth between Alan's youth and adulthood. In the 'then' sections Alan describes childhood incidents where his father yelled at him, threw him around, hit him, degraded him, embarrassed him, and so on. Alan Cumming (right) with his brother TomAlan Cumming as a young manAlan also talks about his father's constant public infidelities, which humiliated his wife and sons. In fact Alex sometimes took Alan along when he was meeting other women. These parts of the book are very disturbing. In the 'now' sections Alan reveals the residual anxiety he feels from his childhood. He also writes about his acting gigs; professional successes; ex-wife; fears about having children (he has none); nervous breakdown; therapist; husband; friends; beloved mother, brother, and granny; parties; dinners; wine; etc. - in short, his life as an adult. Alan also discusses his reaction to Alex Cumming announcing that he isn't the actor's biological father. Could this explain why Alex was always so cruel and hateful? Or did Alex just make this up to cause Alan more pain? Alan makes sure to find out the truth! The book is well-written, enlightening, entertaining, and uplifting. It's good to learn that children with awful childhoods can go on to live happy, successful lives. Alan Cumming is grown up and happyI highly recommend this book to people who enjoy celebrity memoirs. This is a very good one.You can follow my reviews at http://reviewsbybarbsaffer.blogspot.com/

I've heard only good things about Not My Father's Son by Alan Cumming, and it turned out as expected: a powerful, beautifully narrated story. Though I obviously knew of Alan Cumming and his work, I knew very little about his personal life before I started this audiobook. I had no idea he had such a traumatic childhood, and I found myself in awe of his resilience. The story told in this book is just a segment of Alan's interesting life (thanks, Wikipedia!), but it focuses on a very painful part of his past and how it colored the rest of his life. I enjoyed listening to Alan's retelling of the events in his story, even if it was difficult to hear at times. A very good memoir, and recommended for all those who love audiobooks. goodreads|instagram|twitter|blog

After reading Will Byrne's review of this book and then watching Cumming's episode of Who Do You Think You Are on YouTube, I just had to settle in with the book for myself. I've enjoyed Alan Cumming in various performances for quite some time and it is now very interesting to learn more of the whole person and his earlier life.The world really opened up for him as he grew up and, especially during the year when he was filming the genealogy show, he learned more than he ever would have expected about his family and, ultimately, about himself. While the show led to information about his mother's father, Tommy Darling, a man who was largely unknown to the family, other events opened up Alan's eyes to the reality of his abusive father Alex who had been in and out of his life, mostly out, for years.I found that this book complements the TV show wonderfully and explains the occasional worn and frazzled appearance I had noticed. So much was going on in the background! If you like Alan Cumming, if you appreciate learning of how an adult learns to live with the result of all the abuse heaped on them in childhood, then this may well be a book for you. I recommend it.

"True life is stranger than fiction." This is not your standard celebrity memoir. This book centers around the genealogy tv show he hosts "Who Do You Think You Are" where he asked the tv show to help him find out more about his grandfather, who had mysteriously disappeared, and who Alan had never met. As the tv show begins investigating into Alan's family tree, his father whom he had not spoken to in 16 years, tells him a bombshell news that shook him to his core and effected everything he believed about his family. Alan then has to explain to the reader why he had not spoken to his father for so many years, and he recounts many memories of childhood physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his father. Alan indeed had a horrible childhood that effected his adult life, and he discusses some about the repercussions and trying to mentally heal an an adult.I loved his character in the tv show "The Good Wife" but I was not aware he is also an critically acclaimed Broadway musical star. He discusses a little about dressing in drag to perform in some Broadway plays, which is hilarious the way he describes the "tortures" of wearing heels, a bra, and false fingernails. He has a wonderful sense of humor, but he does not get to use it very much in this novel that deals with such dark subjects.He narrates the audiobook (which was great!) in his thick Scottish accent, which was a surprise to me because he had hidden his accent so well in the American tv show "The Good Wife."Here is a link to the "Who Do You Think You Are" tv show about his search for info about his grandfather, which is the whole basis of this book: https://vimeo.com/153306018

4.5 Stars for Not my Father’s Son (audiobook) by Alan Comming read by the author. This was a lot darker than I was expecting. I really didn’t know anything about Alan Comming’s life other than his acting in movies. This book is mainly about his abusive father and how how he has coped with the abuse through his life. I’m sad that he has had to go through this and I hope writing this book has been therapeutic to him.