Notes on an Execution audiobook

I was debating between rating this 4 or 5 stars, because I found the middle parts to be less engaging and also felt like the policewoman’s story leaned too far into a stereotypical crime drama rather than a literary novel. However, I was really absorbed in the last ⅓ of the book, and after finishing it, had a long discussion with my partner about the themes explored, whether people are deserving of the death penalty, if redemption is possible for people who do terrible things, etc. These types of discussions, I believe, are a mark of an effective literary novel. I came into this book curious whether the author would make the main character sympathetic or not, and came out of it glad that she did not steer the reader into believing one way or the other. I don’t like being spoon-fed what to believe when I read a story; I like that this one gives you enough to make your own judgments, or come away with questions to contemplate. The decision to show both his story as well as the women’s helped add nuance and different perspectives to the question of redemption and rehabilitation. The prose is great too, and the author ended the story in the perfect way.

Danya Kukafka’s brilliant sophomore novel, Notes on an Execution, took top honors as the best book I read in 2021. (Out of 200+.)It’s the rare unicorn of a novel that is masterfully written, has a page-turning plot, and manages to make a statement about our society all at the same time. I savored every word. I reread paragraphs to make sure I’d fully absorbed them. I wanted to get back to it whenever I had to put it down. As author Kukafka sees it, America has a serial killer problem. It’s not that there’s a real one on the loose, but rather we obsess over - and glorify - their mythology. She writes in the Author’s Note that precedes the novel, “Average men become interesting when they start hurting women. Notes on an Execution was born from a desire to dissect this exhausting narrative.” Amen, sister.This book does indeed belong to the women. While murderer Ansel Packer counts down the hours until his imminent execution on death row, chapters are interspersed unraveling the stories of his mother, his wife’s sister, and the (female) detective who caught him. His victims are there, too, although the violence towards them happens largely off the page. (So does some animal harm when he kills squirrels and foxes in his youth.) The killings aren’t the main event here though. Lives aren’t defined by those few fleeting moments when Ansel stole control. I am a self-proclaimed “murderino” and have always been fascinated by the true crime narrative being eviscerated by Danya Kukafka’s razor-sharp pen. Her words kicked me right in the heart and made me realize the hypocrisy of my Friday night serial killer documentary viewings that are followed up by Saturday mornings rolling my eyes when yet another girl is ravaged in yet another thriller I’m reading. If that was her objective, then mission accomplished. Bravo. My thanks to William Morrow and the author for the gifted copy to review.Blog: https://www.confettibookshelf.com/

5 ⭐️ 3rd time reading it 1 year. That's how incredible it is to me. Favorite book of 2022. Stunning. Poetic. Heart breaking. Evocative. Just an overall stunner.5 ⭐️ wowowowow this writing is SUPERB. Who is this author and where has she been all my life??This is the most thought provoking book I’ve read all year. Maybe even this decade. It deals with so many principles so deftly and with such expansive perspectives. I am blown away.I love how every perspective in this book is different and none of them viewed as wrong or negative in any way. Even the serial killer is viewed as a human being who has made mistakes. Not that that redeems him in any way. But it forces us to humanize him. Which is intriguing not only as a reader but as a person. It questions rehabilitation and nature vs nurture and how the system fails us at every turn.I don’t condone a single thing Ansel did but I agree with his sentiment that the system didn’t make any moves to help him. It wasn’t until he was committing serious crimes that anyone decided to glance his way. He went to the hospital and tried to tell them what he was but they dismissed him and he fled. He isn’t innocent. Not at ALL. But it shines a light on how ill funded and managed psychiatric facilities and workers are. There is little to no safety net for disorders like Ansel’s. Not that it is every teacher or foster care to diagnosis a child. But it shines a light on how secretive we choose for mental illness to be.The death penalty is the main plot to this book in my opinion. Reading this book really opened my eyes to how useless and demonstrative it is.Who benefits? Who gains from this act? If a serial killer is caught, wouldn’t a more suitable justice be to force them to spend the remainder of their days behind bars, monotonously wasting away their lives as everyone’s forgets they exist? Why publicize their death? Why make a spectacle that will lead to articles, headlines, documentaries, and hallmark movies? They are just another white man who battered a woman. Nobody should care about him. We should care about the women whose lives were stolen. About their mothers and daughters. About the futures never experienced.5 ⭐️ Holy shit. Reading again immediately to annotate

HAPPY PUBLICATION DAY!Powerful. Emotional. Haunting.Just a few ways to describe Notes on an Execution by the uber-talented Danya Kukafka. The story starts with 12 hours to go until Ansel Parker’s execution. He has killed four women, but never thought it would have come to this. He always thought he’d be able to explain himself.This story isn’t just about another serial killer and his perspective. It’s about the women he has come into contact with...those who knew him.Lavender was very young when she gave birth to Ansel. Living in desperate and unsafe conditions, she goes to the extreme to try and ensure her family is kept safe. Hazel and Jenny are twins, and Jenny eventually marries Ansel. Hazel has seen the happy facade fall from Ansel’s face at the blink of an eye. Saffy is the detective who has been keeping track of Ansel for years. Not many people know that they’ve crossed paths many moons ago. Through these perspectives, we learn more about Ansel and his life before and after becoming a murderer. We also learn about these strong, powerful women who will all come to terms with what they know of him in different ways. Everything about this book is mesmerizing. It’s intense and powerful. It’s dark, but written in such beautiful prose that makes it easy to get lost in the grip of the plot and the rich characters. It’s a thought-provoking read that doesn’t shy away from toughness, but has a gentle and caring way of displaying it. The author’s note at the beginning sets the tone, as Kukafka explains what made her write this brilliant novel. In her own words:“I am tired of seeing Ted Bundy’s face. This is a book for the women who survive.”Though we do get Ansel’s POV, it is a wonderful balance that goes way beyond the typical serial killer novel. I hope, and truly believe, this book will be a huge success. 4.5 starsTW: Harm to animals. The worst parts are off the page. While I don’t enjoy it, I can understand why it’s included in the case of this book. Thank you to William Morrow for a physical ARC in exchange for an honest review. Expected Publication Date: 1/25/22. Review also posted at: https://bonkersforthebooks.wordpress.com

This is a book that somewhat defies definition, and makes me feel a bit powerless to capture my feelings about it with words.It is an exquisitely written tale, allowing the reader to have a glimpse into the minds and motivations of people. At its core, it's an examination of people, with the end realization that we are all much more alike than we want to admit, yet we have our own uniqueness that separates us from each other.There are parts of this book that are incredibly difficult to read. The anguish I felt for what happened to Ansel as a child helped to give me perspective on the events that followed. Yet in that darkness, the author also gives us a glimpse that a person's nature is somewhat set from the beginning as well. There is a diverse cast of characters, all with their own baggage and interpretation of events.I think this is a book that will resonate with many people. It isn't a book for everyone, but if you're in a contemplative mood the writing is fantastically crafted to push readers to think and ponder about life, death and everything in between.I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.

Ansel Packer, Prisoner 999631 is on Death Row at Polunsky Prison in Texas and it’s twelve hours until his execution. It’ll be painless they say but of course he leaves much pain behind. The story is told via a countdown and mostly through various women whose lives Ansel touched and through them we ‘see’ Ansel and his origins and what leads to him becoming a serial killer. There is Lavender his mother who gave birth to him in a barn aged 17 in New York State. Here we get to delve into the nature versus nurture debate. Saffy Singh meets Ansel in 1984 in a group home, she becomes a captain in the New York State police and tracks him for years convinced he is The Girly Killer. Finally there is Hazel whose twin sister Jenny marries Ansel. I feel her portrait is the most fascinating as she offers up a duality of Ansel on first meeting him. As Ansel reflects in the countdown to his hour of execution he gives his thoughts such as his views on good and evil. Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything quite like this book. The quality of the writing is absolutely brilliant, it’s almost lyrical in tone and written with mind blowing intensity. I admire how this book focuses on the women as let’s face it, the attention is usually on the serial killer. This is how it should be and as a consequence it’s incredibly powerful and quite astonishing. It’s very thought-provoking as it asks the reader to mull on some important questions and in places it packs a real punch to the guts. The countdown to the execution is breathtaking as it’s crackling with tension and your thoughts are all over the place. Could he have ultimately been redeemed? I daresay we will never know the answer to that one but even so he still needs to pay the piper for his early crimes. I can honestly say that even though it’s dark, heartbreaking and unbearably sad this is one of the best books I’ve read in 2021 and it’s been a bumper year so this is high praise indeed. I will never forget this book, it places you under a mesmerising spell as the beautiful writing makes it impossible to put down.‘You are expansive, like everyone else. You are complex. You are more than just wicked’. I’ll leave you to decide. With thanks to NetGalley and especially to Orion Publishing/ Phoenix for the much appreciated arc in return for an honest review.

Oh did I love “Notes On an Execution” by Danya Kukafka. Kukafka is fascinated by our culture’s obsessions with serial killers, and she decided to write a novel illuminating that bizarre draw. We as a culture are drawn to the macabre of these grisly murders, generally on women or less-abled victims such as children.When the story opens, Ansel Packer is on death row with twelve hours remaining until he dies. The story is told from those twelve hours counting down, with intermittent chapters about Ansel, his life that got him to this point. Those chapters are headed by the three instrumental women in Ansel’s life: His mother, Lavender; Saffy a formal childhood acquaintance and now homicide detective; and Hazel, the twin of his wife Jenny.What Kukafka does differently from most serial killer stories is focus on Ansel and the women who influenced his life. She also goes into Ansel’s mind, his twisted thinking. Furthermore, we know he’s going to be executed just from the title. What keeps the reader enthralled is Kukafka’s ability to tell a story about a tortured soul without reducing the story to blood and guts. This is a literary look at our culture and its attraction to the minds of serial killers. And what she shows us is that we are never happy with what we discover. We are never contented with the duality of killers.I found this to be a clever alternative to a story about a serial killer. Plus, I love her literary skills.5 Glowing stars!

This was disturbingly dark and desperate. With 12 hours left on death row, we learn about Ansel, the serial killer and his history, through the eyes of the women who knew him.We learn of his upbringing through the perspective of his mother, Lavender, who abandoned him to save him; Saffy, an orphan who knew him as a young teen, is now a police captain and she is convinced he’s the one who has killed; Hazel, the sister in law, who knew he was a manipulator.As the clock ticks down, Ansel only now realizes he is facing his death.This story begs the argument of nature vs nurture. Is it our biology or our environment that shapes who we are? Can we justify choices, as horrific as they may be in this case, to understand behaviour and give empathy to it? Fabulous & descriptive writing. Easily this 5⭐️will stay with me for a long while.For those who were captivated by this, you need to check out The Enchanted. Another brilliant one.

4 stars!Compelling, mysterious and unique!Ansel Packer is a serial killer on death row. His story unfolds through multiple female perspectives - Ansel’s victims, his mother and the detective working his case — counting down his last hours until execution. These narrative voices were a brilliant and fresh way to reveal this story.The writing was smooth and easy to follow. I loved how the characters were slowly introduced, each providing an insightful and intriguing layer to the plot. Though there are several storylines woven throughout this book, it never felt choppy — the pieces of the puzzle slowly fit together to unravel the crimes committed. This novel is not fast paced or gripping. It is a slow burn, character driven mystery that had me enthralled and fascinated. My few critiques would be that I found the ending was lightly lacking as I wanted “something more”. I also felt the second half could have been tightened up a bit and not so drawn out. Regardless of this, it was an excellent book that I highly recommend!Overall, I’m happy to say that this book lived up to the hype! What a twist on presenting a serial killer story! I look forward to reading more from this author.Thank you to the publisher for my review copy!

NOW AVAILABLE!!i didn't manage to review this before pub day because i am THE WORST, but it is SO GOOD and someday i will have time to be better at things.********************************************this premise—choosing to focus on the women in a serial killer's orbit rather than giving a violent man center stage, was done so perfectly in These Women, and i'm hoping this one's just as good.

The early reviews of this book have been so enticing. I could not wait to pick it up, and it did not disappoint. Notes on an Execution is the story of Ansel Packer. It begins with his execution day, a countdown in time of just twelve hours from the beginning of the book to the end. Filling the rest of the narrative are the stories of all the women who passed in and out of his life, including those he murdered.Ansel has a difficult start in life born to a young mother and controlling, abusive father. His mother has a baby after Ansel, and things in the family erupt quickly; Ansel and the baby are left behind. Navigating through foster care, eventually Ansel gets married to a woman he seems to genuinely love. As much as he puts on the charm, there are always cracks. There are murders, but the story is more about the aftermath. The effects on the families, and all leading up to this time when Ansel reflects on his life and decisions, up until his very last breath. What I loved most was how this book surprised me in its empathy. It will stay with me a long time. Thriller readers should enjoy the layering of psychological tension and suspense. While we always know who the killer is, the why and digging deep into his psyche, is a big portion of the story. The writing shines and grabs hold instantly. Danya Kukafka, I can’t wait for what you bring us next.I received a gifted copy. Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader

Now a Goodreads Choice finalist in Fiction!! Notes on and Execution came to me highly recommended. It’s presented as something a little more contemplative than the rest of the mystery/thriller genre, and I’d have to agree with that. This story could have easily been packaged as your standard thriller, a cold case with a plucky detective following a trail that’s personally close to her. But that’s not the route Danya Kukafka chooses to go; instead she takes the wind out of those sails immediately. We know how it ends, we know who is responsible and we know he is going to die. Told through a series of flashbacks and roving perspectives, Notes on an Execution performs a type of contact tracing (pardon the use of a pandemic phrase) through Ansel Packer’s life. Ansel has been sentenced to die for a slew of murders he confessed to, with the present day chapters beginning in the 12 hours leading up to that event. The chapters set in the past utilize the POV of three different women, all connected to Ansel in some way: Lavender, Hazel and Saffy. These are not the women who’s paths he altered the most, but ones that feel a degree removed from his immediate orbit. Because what this novel is first and foremost is a measure of impact, not origin. Ansel is the meteor that crashes into the planet’s surface, shifting the plates even in places he didn’t hit directly. The idea of causation, what drives someone like Ansel to hurt others, is discussed quite a bit, but with no firm position taken. There’s evidence provided for either, or both, though that’s as far as Kukafka chooses to go.But as I was reading this I kept myself what the collective fascination with men that do these things is? Why do we care? Should we? I’m not particularly interested in empathizing or sympathizing with men who hurt women because they can, even in a fictional space. There’s an anthropologic argument for a figurative post-mortem examination of these men after the fact, but the societal fixation on them goes way beyond that. I don’t fully buy the excuse that they’re important to study in order to learn how to prevent the same cycle from repeating again. I think we really just want to see how much of our own selves is reflected back at us from them.Because whatever we wish to learn about someone like Ansel, there is little evidence that they will learn anything in return, besides ways to better manipulate those around them. All the women in the novel who were affected show remorse or regret for what they believe is their own complicity in the violence. Everyone except Ansel seems to have the capacity and, importantly, willingness to confront their own actions. Ansel still blames every woman around him, and to an extent some vague idea of the ‘universe’, for what he alone did. All of this is acknowledged by Kukafka to some extent. She may also be trying to draw attention to the same issues with media consumption of stories like this by writing it in this way. But by also writing a story about a psychopath serial killer, isn’t she just feeding into that obsession as well? I’m not convinced the portions that explore that idea are anything more than clever lampshding.By the end of this book I was tired. I imagine the people raving about Notes on an Execution felt similarly, too. It’s not a light book, designed to challenge the reader, not necessarily to entertain. But for me, it was really a chore to get through the Ansel chapters at the end. He mourns for nobody but himself, with his ridiculous “theory” well-depicted by Kukafka as another method to deflect blame and elevate himself above the inelegance of murder. But its constant repetition, especially of the refrain that ‘one small choice would have changed everything’, makes me wonder if we were supposed to take some of that to heart as well. That line of thinking sounds like a soft exoneration to me, and I don’t like it.There’s a sort of epilogue at the end, and it didn’t work for me. It was full of hypotheticals of what the women would be doing if they were still alive, which is nice in theory but reading it felt like an afterthought. Without that section, though, Ansel would be given the last word. Maybe I would have appreciated it more if the women left living got to send off the book instead, but who knows. Overall a lot to think about, but not the home run I was expecting.*Thanks to William Morrow & Netgalley for an advance review copy!**For more book talk & reviews, follow me on Instagram at @elle_mentbooks!

In a Nutshell: A haunting read that is going to leave a long book hangover. I loved almost every bit of it. But I have a feeling that you must be in the right kind of mood when you pick this up. Thankfully, it came to me at the correct time.Story:Ansel Packer is an inmate on the death row. His execution is just twelve hours away. He knows his crimes, but has he accepted his fate? The book takes you on a countdown of sorts, with the story beginning at the twelve hours mark and working its way down to zero hour. Interspersed with the above narrative are many other points of view, all from the eyes of various women in Ansel’s life. So you see, this is not just Ansel’s story. It is also the story of all the women whose lives he changed irrevocably, in good ways and in bad, sometimes both, whether knowingly or unknowingly.Ansel’s story is narrated in second person - present tense, while the other narrations of the women in Ansel’s life are in third person - past tense.Where the book worked for me:😍 My summary is sounding pretty bland but please trust me, the author has woven the multiple narratives together intelligently. I haven’t read writing like this in ages. Every single person has a role to play in the plot, even if we can’t see it immediately.😍 The concept itself is so unique. But what makes it even more so is the decision to word Ansel in second person. It takes a bit of time to get used to this unusual perspective, but it brings the reader so much closer to the experience. I loved this writing decision.😍 The genre is an uncustomary combo of literary fiction and crime thriller. The plot takes the best features of these genres and assimilates them into a compelling experience. The writing is astounding, making its mark without going over the top. 😍 There are so many brilliant quotes in the plot. One of my favourites was: “No one is all bad. No one is all good. We live as equals in the murky gray between.” This is applicable to every character in the story, and is much relevant in the real world too.😍 The main characters are going to lodge themselves in your head. While it is easy to judge Ansel – who wouldn’t judge a convict facing execution, there are so many emotions that the plot stirs up about him that you can’t help wondering what category to slot him in: is he a plain old psychopath, or can you justify, maybe even forgive, at least a part of his behaviour? The main woman characters are also well-layered and not with typical 2D characteristics.😍 The story goes back and forth a lot, so you need to focus to keep track of the timeline using the year references provided. Plus, there are a lot of clues scattered in the narrative about events not yet revealed. This isn't exactly foreshadowing but more like the character knows something you don't know yet, so you need to wait until the character divulges the whole thing to you. This makes for a very stimulating read in that you can't lose your focus nor skim through supposedly irrelevant bits. The book demands attention. Many a time, you will wonder why a particular bit of information is provided but every single time, that factoid is used in the story subsequently.😍 In spite of the above, the story goes by at a fairly decent pace. Literary fiction is usually slow, and crime thrillers are usually fast. This book falls comfortably in between both extremes. Of course, you might not appreciate it as much if you rush through it. It is content to be savoured, not flipped through asap. 😍 Even with such intense and power-packed content, the author still manages to shine a spotlight on some cultural fallacies such as our obsession with criminals and their stories, the excessive media coverage on such issues, and on the unfairness of the social system for minorities, whether on the right side of the law or on the wrong side. This social commentary is handled without going over the top and without distracting from the main plot.😍 Ok, call me biased. But one of the characters has an Indian connection. And this link is represented without using most of the usual tropes common in Westerners writing about India. Not a single mention of yoga too! Thank you!!! Where the book could have worked better for me:😑 The final epilogue felt superfluous to me. While I get why that content was part of the story (and it has a strong connection to the main plot), I didn’t like it as much.😑 Some of the plot devices were a bit too convenient, but as everything else was so unusual, I am ready to let this go.That’s it. No other complaints. This was an almost perfect experience for me. It is a haunting story, well-crafted, with memorable characters, and plenty of though-provoking points to ponder upon. Heartily recommended to be picked up when you are in the mood for something hard-hitting, reflective, and mellow-paced. Do note, it is not a book for everyone. Literary fiction lovers will find it a treat as the writing style is right up their alley.4.5 stars from me, rounding up to 5.My thanks to Orion Publishing Group, Phoenix, and NetGalley for the ARC of “Notes on an Execution”. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book.Trigger warnings: animal cruelty, drug abuse, sexual abuse, domestic abuse.***********************Join me on the Facebook group, Readers Forever! , for more reviews, book-related discussions and fun.