Slow Dancing with a Stranger audiobook

Meryl Comer, an Emmy award-winning reporter, TV producer, and talk show host has created a memoir that is not for the faint of heart. She gave up her career once her husband, Dr. Harvey Gralnick, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's while in the prime of his life at age fifty-eight. She spent twenty years being his caretaker and watching the disease ravage his mind. Early in the book, this passage stands out, "This was the pendulum along which our lives now swung: months of lucidity punctured by sudden, inexplicable rages."Comer's book tackles very tough issues, including the struggle to get a diagnosis, the impact on their marriage, and issues of violence. Comer's mother, suffering from Alzheimer's, also moved in with them.If you want an up-close, unvarnished personal story about Alzheimer's, this is the book for you.Highly recommend!

I have been reading several dementia memoirs in the last two years, and Comer distinguishes herself by taking a more blunt and pragmatic approach to the topic. She's an award-winning journalist, so a "just the facts" approach seems to make sense. I've read several dementia memoirs by people trained in the field of humanities, and they interject a lyric, poetic, metaphoric and philosophical quality. Or at least, they plumb the depths of how Alzheimer's alters relationships and identity. Not so with Comer. She takes her husband's (and then later her mother's Alzheimer's and puts it in a chair in an otherwise empty room with a naked lightbulb harshly shining a light on the issue. Alzheimer's is brutal, messy, chaotic and painful for everyone involved. She starts by describing her husband, Harvey Gralnick, a research scientist at NIH. He is intelligent, driven, willful and sophisticated. His behavior and memory become altered, and it takes her a very long time to get an accurate diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer's Disease--in part because of lack of awareness of the disease in early oneset, in part because he is so smart that people resist such a diagnosis, and in part because other physicians out of professional courtesy prefer to discount Comer as an interfering spouse instead of validating her as a family informant. (I was INFURIATED at that passage featuring the dismissive physician.)Once Gralnick's work performance disintegrates to the point of making a public spectacle, people finally believe it's not just stress. But even with an accurate diagnosis (after two years of seeking one), there are very few options for addressing his problems. Gralnick doesn't just have memory problems; his behavior is a huge problem. I have volunteered in a skilled nursing facility that includes residents with dementia. And Gralnick's behavior is on the most difficult extreme of the spectrum. He's uninhibited and aggressive to the point of physically lashing out at others. Comer has trouble finding a facility that will accept him, and getting in-home help is a challenge as well. Anti-psychotic medicine and sedatives bring a host of undesirable side effects. It was heartbreaking to watch Comer explore multiple options only to remain just about where she started. Comer's account clearly shows the hopelessness of current Alzheimer's treatment (as in, THERE IS NO TREATMENT!) So much time, so much energy, so much money -- and no results. Comer is now working with a nonprofit organization ( Geoffrey Beene Foundation Alzheimer's Initiative) that's seeking a cure for Alzheimer's Disease, and her book certainly serves as a compelling case study for why it's vital to find a cure.

Ms. Comer makes some important points: Caregivers must be listened to and cared for; early diagnosis is critical yet difficult to achieve; and the Alzheimer's Association does us no service when the disease is portrayed in "thirty-second television ads showing a benign image of a little old lady with slowly-fading, sepia-toned memories."I am grateful the author has told an unvarnished account of caregiving for a husband with early-onset dementia. I am concerned that the author refers to the disease as Alzheimer's, without mentioning any of the other possible dementias--at a time when true diagnosis could only have been made upon autopsy. There are other dementias and they need to be included in the larger discussion.The author's husband has survived for 20 years with this disease. A related book to read is Knocking on Heaven's Door, which deals with how our medical system tends to keep us all alive longer than we would wish to live.

Pretty unputdownable train wreck of awfulness, reading about how the author's husband got early-onset Alzheimer's and LIVED ANOTHER 20 YEARS and was still alive at publication. Which meant he was strong (occasionally violent) AND unreasonable, and she was unable to keep working or find a satisfactory alternate living situation for him, and then her mom had to go and get dementia too. Then there was the estranged stepson who wasn't much help and the revelation that, before she even knew he was going down the cognitive slope, they had a marital crisis that made him unsympathetic (to me).It was helpful in reading this to know that I do NOT have what it takes to be a full-time caregiver to someone who never gets better--only worse--and that I should send in those long-term care insurance premiums without grumbling.Hoping the next Alzheimer's book I downloaded will be more helpful and hopeful.

This is a poignant personal story about being a caregiver for her husband, an eminent medical practitioner and researcher, who developed early-onset Alzheimer's in the days before it was fully recognized. While detailing her challenges as a caregiver, as life with her husband unfolded--and he has lived 19 years, no doubt in part to her role in his care--it is interspersed with more facts about Alzheimer's, and her more recent parallel journey as President and CEO of the Geoffrey Beane Foundation Alzheimer's Initiative. Although her circumstances(financial,personal and professional) are more privileged than many, and allowed her to organize additional caregivers for her husband's care at home (and later including her mother in the same as she developed Alzheimer's, the grind and challenges of being a caregiver, to someone who is disappearing as a person, are eloquently portrayed. I highly recommend this book.

The author tells her story bluntly and without guile. Her brilliant physician husband developed early-onset Alzheimer's & she cares for him at home because no placement worked out for various reasons. Then her mother developed Alzheimer's & joined them in their home. I cannot imagine how the author maintained the physical and emotional strength to provide care for them while also starting an Alzheimer's foundation. This is an incredible story.

Honest Account of life with Alzheimer'sA 5 star rating indicates that I've learned some new points not covered in other similar books I've read. Being a caregiver for 20 years is double what I would have anticipated. What happens when a man is too strong, too angry, too difficult to be accepted into a medical facility? What about dental care? Is the solution pulling out the teeth? Does the continual stress increase the likelihood of the caregiver developing dementia? In the interest of getting more research funding, how much of your private life would you allow filmed for a documentary? For research purposes, would you do genetic testing, have periodic testing of your cognitive skills, have brain imaging done? As it is a progressive disease, as the caregiver ages, the physical and emotional demands also increase? Would you want to know at an early stage so you can develop a plan and sign documents about financial and medical decisions or would you go into denial and continue to drive and hide your career struggles knowing you are risking the safety of others? What would you do if both your spouse and your mother or middle-class ages child both had dementia requiring a lot of care? Is she a hero, a martyr, a saint or a regular woman with great determination and perseverance?

Thank you, Meryl Comer, for sharing such a powerful personal story! This book relates the very real dilemmas and road blocks a family encounters when facing Alzheimer's. I especially liked her description at the very beginning of the disease when loved ones begin to expect something's not right. I have experienced this with my father and now my mother-in-law. There are incidents that, at the time, you think are odd. They are out of character enough that you relate what happened to another person. But then something big happens and you realize that something really is wrong. It was comforting to read another person's account.For my dad, a consummate handyman, the incident was when he painted his hammer a bright yellow "so that it would look better." For my mother-in-law, it was an irate phone call berating me for not calling to say we were home from a trip - something completely out of character for this sweet lady.Then, you start looking back for signs you had missed. You ask, "When did the problems begin?" Meryl Comer does an excellent job sharing her thoughts and worries with the reader.It is not a happy book but a very honest telling of what life is like with an Alzheimer's patient. I applaud her work to look for answers to this very devasting disease!

This is an intense look at the true story of a doctor who gets early-onset Alzheimers and his wife who took care of him for more than twenty years. At one point the author's mother, also suffering from Alzheimer's, moves in with them and she has to take care of both of them. There are no happy endings when it comes to dementia, but the author was able to find a better sense of self when she was asked to speak to Congress and then to begin a non-profit organization for caregivers and their loved ones suffering from this horrible disease.This book is well-written and interesting. If you have ever wondered what it would be like to have Alzheimer's and what a caregiver goes through while caring for a loved one with the disease, this book will give you a very clear idea. I recommend this book to anyone interested in diseases that alter people's lives, and interested in Alzheimer's specifically.

This book is heartbreaking and informative. Meryl Comer wrote an intimate story about caring for her husband with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. It tells of her husband’s decline into dementia, the difficulty of getting a diagnosis, and her life as a caregiver. In her difficult struggle to understand and adapt to her husband’s dementia, her experiences often resembled those of other caregivers in my Alzheimer's support group. She lived through what caregivers often face, but have trouble explaining to others who have not experienced it themselves. For anyone faced with the inexplicable behavior of a loved one who may be in early stage dementia, Slow Dancing with a Stranger gives a preview of difficulties that can lie ahead, and possible strategies to deal with them.

This is an amazing book. Meryl Comer has been caring for her husband for 20 years. At the age of 58, he was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's. Ms Comer made the choice to care for her husband at home as much as possible, and as the book shows, this was not an easy task. By the end of the book she's caring for her husband, who's now in the late stages of the disease, and also caring for her mother, who has dementia. She also had nurses to help her, but an enormous amount of work fell on Ms Comer. I think this is an important book that everyone should read. We never know when Alzheimer's might touch our own lives.

Suspended in timeAs the daughter of a woman who died from complications of Alzheimer's I was spellbound by the honesty and grief so honestly written. The fact that this horrific disease took her sister as well scares me. Everyone says I have an incredible memory. Like Ms Comer I too worry that I am next. I will be recommending this book to anyone I know or meet who is dealing with this thief of memories. The 90 year old neighbor caring for her husband at home and the friend whose 43 year old daughter is being tested for early onset. All of you are heroes whether you know it or not.

This is a nonfiction book by Meryl Comer, a tv news reporter, about her life as a caretaker for her husband. Her husband, Harvey, developed early onset Alzheimer's. He was a renowned blood cancer specialist and researcher. Meryl chose to keep him at home while she became his primary caregiver with a small team of home health care providers. She chronicled his deteriorating condition and her own heart-wrenching struggles to care for his basic needs. This is a very difficult, sad story from someone who represents so many others who are going through the same struggle. Thankfully, the book is relatively short, but a necessary story to tell. 4 stars.

Former newscaster Meryl Comer's account of her husband, Dr. Harvey Gralnick, fit and trim in his mid 50s, as he descends into the madness that is Alzheimer's Disease. To make matters worse, Meryl's mother is also diagnosed with the same fate.It's not a pretty story and it's not a happy ending, but then it rarely is for those who suffer from the literal loss of everything that makes up a human life. It takes everything, mental and physical, to keep the household in place while the caretaker goes through a change of their own, giving up even the most simple escapes for fear of not being there when they're needed the most.

I can’t get this book out of my mind. Having many relatives who are living with dementia, I can’t imagine giving the level of tireless almost superhuman care the author gave to her husband. It was a very raw look of the challenges of getting a good diagnosis in the early stages, the fear of people finding out and writing you off, the constantly being “on call”, the toll on the care giver and the lack of support. I was amazed to learn that the author’s husband lived 24 years after being diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s in his 50’s, quite rare. I listened to the book on Audio read by the author. At times it felt like she was close to tears. It was a difficult but important listen.

Heart rending and emotional storyAs a caregiver for my mother, who suffered with dementia, I could relate to Meryl Comer's plight. This is a true an accurate account of the life of those with failing memory and the dilemma of their caregivers. I wish the author would have waited to write this account until her husband, Harvey, had escaped his Alzheimer's and she released from one of her forgiving roles. Although she would still be caring for her mother. I admire Ms. Comer's courage, determination, and loyalty to those she loved. She is truly a hero.

Most of us know someone who has had Alzheimer's, or has a friend or loved one that is caring for someone with Alzheimer's. Much is still misunderstood about this horrifying disease. It can only be helpful for us to listen to those that have cared for that loved one as they progress thru this disease. Meryl Comer cared for her not only her husband, but also her mother with this disease at the same time. Her strength, courage and undying devotion to their care is most memorable.

I read this one in trying to find good books to recommend to families of Alzheimer’s patients. Meryl Comer tells her deeply personal story of caring for her husband and mother. Both have Alzheimer’s disease, and she cared for them both at the same time in her home. Her husband’s disease isn’t typical or easy. He also develops a behavioral disorder with seizures and bouts of violence. Well written, but I’m not recommending this one. It’s too discouraging.

Interesting perspective from a caregiver to her spouse afflicted early in life with alzheimers. The time of diagnosis was several decades ago, but we have made not much progress advancing towards a cure. I enjoyed how she talked about the early warning signs, mostly composed of personality changes, this is helpful information. It certainly leaves you wondering what you would do if you were the caregiver and what you would want done if you ever became ill with this terrible disease.