9780061958632
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The Accidental Vampire audiobook

  • By: Lynsay Sands
  • Narrator: Victoria McGee
  • Category: Fiction, General, Romance
  • Length: 10 hours 36 minutes
  • Publisher: HarperAudio
  • Publish date: November 17, 2009
  • Language: English
  • (17321 ratings)
(17321 ratings)
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The Accidental Vampire Audiobook Summary

Ever since an accident turned her into a knockout vamp, Elvi Black’s been catching her z’s in a coffin, staying out of the sun, and giving up garlic. She knows there’s more to being undead than what she saw in Dracula, but she can’t very well ask her mortal friends about proper biting etiquette. But when her neighbors placed a personal ad for her in the local paper, she never imagined she’d meet Victor Argeneau, a vampire who could have his pick of any woman–dead or alive.

Rich, powerful, and drop–dead gorgeous, Victor’s the perfect man for a novice neck–biter like Elvi. He’s willing to teach her everything he knows, but he’ll have to do it fast. Someone’s out to put a stake through her new vamp life, and only Victor can keep her safe–and satisfied–for all eternity.

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The Accidental Vampire Audiobook Narrator

Victoria McGee is the narrator of The Accidental Vampire audiobook that was written by Lynsay Sands

Lynsay Sands is the nationally bestselling author of the Argeneau/Rogue Hunter vampire series, as well as numerous historicals and anthologies. She’s been writing since grade school and considers herself incredibly lucky to be able to make a career out of it. Her hope is that readers can get away from their everyday stress through her stories, and if there are occasional uncontrollable fits of laughter, that’s just a big bonus. Please visit her on the web at www.lynsaysands.net.

About the Author(s) of The Accidental Vampire

Lynsay Sands is the author of The Accidental Vampire

The Accidental Vampire Full Details

Narrator Victoria McGee
Length 10 hours 36 minutes
Author Lynsay Sands
Category
Publisher HarperAudio
Release date November 17, 2009
ISBN 9780061958632

Subjects

The publisher of the The Accidental Vampire is HarperAudio. includes the following subjects: The BISAC Subject Code is Fiction, General, Romance

Additional info

The publisher of the The Accidental Vampire is HarperAudio. The imprint is HarperAudio. It is supplied by HarperAudio. The ISBN-13 is 9780061958632.

Global Availability

This book is only available in the United States.

Goodreads Reviews

Jilly

June 14, 2017

These books are pure cheesy vamp romance with a big helping of smut on the side. And, this one had a lot of stupid people that were entertaining as can be.We have Elvi (NOT the plural of Elvis, as I thought. That would be Elvii.), who has been a female vampire for 5 years. She was turned without knowing what, how, or absolutely anything about vampire stuff. She never knew her sire, so she has basically had to figure this whole thing out by herself. Let's just say that I'm not exactly sure how Elvi has survived being a human for as long as she has, and there ARE plenty of manuals on that. Elvi is an idiot. Well, at least she doesn't swear....She figured that the best way to learn how to be a vampire is by watching the old Dracula movie.Really, Elvi??I mean, seriously, she could have done better watching Twilight.So, for the past 5 years, she has been sleeping in a coffin full of dirt, dressing like Morticia Adams, stayed away from religious artifacts, avoided sunlight like the plague, got rid of every mirror in her house, and hasn't eaten. Her name is not even Elvi! She changed it from Ellen to sound vampier.I mean, yes, it would have been helpful if she had a mentor. Someone to teach her how to vamp... I mean, we did have parents teach us to human. Some do a better job than others..But, still... she didn't even experiment at all! Never even tried a bite of food. Never tried to look in a mirror. Never tried sleeping in a bed. So much stupid...And, came up with the most epic thing to ever hit the television since Schoolhouse Rock. (look it up, kids. Especially the adverb song.)By living like an idiot, Elvi has also mistakenly broken many vampire laws. Such as the number one law of: "don't out us, dude!" Again, if she had an ounce of intelligence, she would have realized that since she has never heard of vampires being real, it must be a secret. In other words, telling the entire town where you live that you are a vampire, and letting them speak freely about it is probably a bad idea. Plus, you know that there is always one in every group that is just waiting to pick up the torch and pitchfork with a wooden stake in their hand.Awesome. I also need a new dress, some motor oil, bullets for my gun, and a birthday cake. How great is Walmart?Victor is a vampire who is on the council - the vamp government. He is sent to check out what the hell is going on when there is an ad in the paper with a vamp girl looking for her one true love. Vamps only. No smokers or fatties. He shows up in town to find out that he is only Bachelor Number One in this scenario. There are a few more male vamps looking for a good time. It quickly becomes the Paranormal Bachelorette, so these dudes need to bring their A-game.Weather... why are men obsessed with it? Along with maps, magic, and flags? All of those things suck.So, this book has a lot of silly fun in it. I liked all of the characters, even if they weren't the brightest bulbs in the pack. I am hoping maybe some of the discarded bachelors end up with books later, so I'll be on the lookout for those.

Ivana

September 23, 2017

We have Elvi (NOT the plural of Elvis, as I thought. That would be Elvii.), who has been a female vampire for 5 years. Funny how Elvi just watches the movie and believes that is what she is supposed to do to be a vampire. But the Birthday Bite was the best to me. The people of Port Henry were totally unexpected in the way they took care of Elvi. I was never quite sure what Victor's 3 rivals, Edward, Alessandro and Harper were up to and the side story about DJ and Mabel was a pleasant addition. Victor Argeneau and his assistant DJ drive out to the small town of Port Henry to meet this woman and find out what is going on. It's not exactly discreet placing an ad in the paper - and since Victor works for the Vampires ruling Council, it's his job to access the damage and possibly bring this potential "Rogue Vampire" back to the council for judgement. Elvi is an accidental vampire, who was turned under unusual circumstances and has attracted the attention of the Council. Without a sire to guide her, she turned to popular culture for answers and is living in discomfort. Her community accepts her as a paranormal creature and are very protective towards her. Up till now I didn't know much about Victor except he's Vincent's father, has the same genetic anomaly as his son so they can't feed of bagged blood and that his lifemate, Marion, died a few centuries ago burned at the stake. So I was pleased to see this book was about him. Losing his lifemate has made Victor a bitter, lonely man. He even avoids contact with Vincent, his son, and the only thing that keeps him going is his job as an law enforcer for the council.These books are pure cheesy vamp romance with a big helping of smut on the side. And, this one had a lot of stupid people that were entertaining as can be. Was okay, funny but not really what I expected but it was a good read. I loved this book! It had been so long since I have read an Argeneau book that I had forgotten how good they were. This one wasnt one of my favs in the series but it was very entertaining. I enjoyed a lot the fact that the heroine was a woman of 60 something when she was turned into a vampire. What a fun story. It had me laughing and chuckling several times. FUN FUN FUN! A Vampire puts a singles ad in the paper and boy does she get a response. This is one of my favourite Argeneau novels. The book was gorgeous. I chose it due to the blurb on the back, and I didn't regret it one second. It is as funny and unusual a vampire romance as I thought it would be. It had all the "usual stuff" with lifemates, the gorgeous looking vampires and so on, but the story in itself turned out to be surprising and inventive. This would be how I would be turned into a vampire is by accident. This was a funny cute book. I haven't read many in this series. I tried the first one and it was just ok, but this one was downright romantic, cute and funny.

Thomas

February 19, 2019

I'm not normally specifically a romance fan, but this series holds a special place for me and this is my favorite book and it. I will not, however, pretend to like the most common cover design for this book. It lacks imagination and fails to do justice to the story. The proliferation of muscular torsos on the covers of books has probably done more to turn me off the genre than anything else. Maybe it's because, for some reason, I get nothing out of pictures of musclebound male trunks. That's why I've's switched to a version which has a cover design that is not a blue torso. The cover of a book with a picture like that should be called "The Ab-Max System" and the byline should read "In just two weeks, you too can have abs like this." Still, I think the idea behind this book was kind of brilliant and will go on paying dividends for the series for years to come. I know some people found this book unforgivably silly, or at least the main character to be stupid for not figuring things out on her own rather than needing somebody to tell her much of what she learned in the course of this book. All I can say is the whole premise of this book is that an entire town is conspiring to protect Elvi and, as it turns out, is doing her more harm than good. I know, in the real world, if I'd been in that position (Not that I could ever have actually been in that position in the real world) I would've rebelled against the idea of sleeping in a coffin long before, but then again, who knows what you'd be persuaded to do when something like that happens to you and you don't know the rules. In any case, this was never intended to be an ultra-realistic character study, so why not just kick back, have a good time and take this story on its own terms, as the confection it is. If you can't do that, then this series is probably not for you and maybe you should go and read Middlemarch or something. Actually, that is in a bad idea. I think I'll do that someday. It's on my list.By the way, since I initially wrote this review I've chopped up my books into categories on various 'shelves.' I've noticed I have quite a few under the heading of romance, including this one. If you bother to look and I can't imagine why you would, you'd find that not one of them is a straight-up contemporary romance. They're either historic or literary classics or have some kind of fantasy or science fiction elements. There's hardly a story that couldn't be helped by putting a little romance in it, but romance as a genre by itself is not really enough to keep the likes of me interested.So, if you're looking for something that only pretends to be dark (my kind of dark) and is actually light, fun and just a bit sentimental, this one is a good choice. I'd recommend starting with the first book in the series and working your way here. It's not critical, but the world building in these books, which slowly assembles itself in the course of them, is great fun and of a source of more than a little daydreaming, even for a guy like me.

Dianne

October 27, 2021

4.5 StarsLynsay Sands has one of the easiest to understand explanations of Vampirism or, as the Argeneau's prefer, Immortals. Technology is a very cool thing to base your plotline on! I love it, and I loved this story of an actual accidental vampire.Elvi was changed on a trip to Mexico with her best friend, and since it was the whole town of Port Henry that encouraged her to go, they all feel guilty about her becoming a vamp. So they make arrangements. Arrangements of all sorts, from finding her blood to finding her a boyfriend! Now Elvi doesn't know the first thing about being a vamp other than what she has seen in the movies and books. So she doesn't eat; she sleeps in a coffin, avoids mirrors, and dresses like Elvira! Now that Elvi's townsmen have brought her to the council's attention, there is going to be a problem, so along comes Victor the Enforcer of the Immortals. First, he has to find out just how many laws Elvi has broken. This was a great story since it is one of the lightest of this genre, and it has a wonderful small secondary story of Mabel, Elvi's friend who is 62, who has caught the eye of what appears to be a much younger vamp. Out of all the books, this one was so much of a pleasure to read since we don't have to go through all the angst we usually have when these life-mates get turned. The story was so breezy that it wouldn't take long at all to read, but real fans won't want to miss this since I loved seeing such a hard-butt like Victor be taken down the garden path by such a wonderful and warm-hearted woman. There is good character growth for everyone involved, a pleasant and unexpected plot, a cute mystery, and of course, our happily ever after! What more could you ask for in a book of this type?

Christel

March 28, 2009

Was okay, funny but not really what I expected but it was a good read. Funny how Elvi just watches the movie and believes that is what she is supposed to do to be a vampire. But the Birthday Bite was the best to me.

Danielle

February 18, 2018

Fast, funny, and sexy...The Accidental Vampire by Lynsay Sands is the seventh amazing adventure in this hot series. I cannot stop reading about these characters. They feel real. Quirky, funny, and they are easy to relate to. I love how they struggle with the same issues the rest of us in the real world do. That just made me love this plot even more. I laughed so hard, I cried. The emotional journey was crazy. The ending was my most favorite. Read the book, and I guarantee you will see why the ending was the best part. I couldn't stop laughing! Overall, I recommend this paranormal romance to all. I received this copy from the publisher. This is my voluntary review.

P.A.

February 11, 2014

I just finished a reread of this book. This time I decided to try it in audio. I love this book. It's cute and fun, a light easy read. I did not care for the narrator of the audiobook, however. She had a voice that was stilted and sounded almost like a computer program. I would recommend the book version for this novel.

taylor.talks.books

September 14, 2017

Lynsay Sands does it again! Absolutely love this series. It's funny, sexy, has a few crazy twists, and this scientific spin on vampires is very interesting. You won't be disappointed!

Melindeeloo

February 19, 2015

It's No Accident, It's Skill! Sand's Delivers An Imaginative & Sexy Vamp Romance!Five years ago sixty-something Elvi, on a what was supposed to be a sun and fun filled vacation in Mexico, suddenly found herself turned into a vampire. With no maker hanging around to show her the immortal ropes Elvi turned to the movie, Bram Stoker's Dracula, to learn how to be a successful creature of the night. So for the last five years Elvi has avoided garlic and crosses, and worn only black. Elvi knows she shouldn't be complaining - she's immortal while her lifelong friends are all getting up in years- but Elvi is not looking forward to an eternity of sleeping in a dirt-filled coffin. Then again that may not be a problem. After having lost his wife to vampire hunters centuries ago, Victor Argeneau has dedicated his life to eliminating rogue vampires as an enforcer for the vampire council of North America, so that no other immortal family will have to suffer the same crushing loss. When Elvi's friends place a personal ad seeking a male vampire to keep her company when they pass on, Victor answers the ad to investigate whether a real vampire or a just a vamp-wanna-be is responsible. Vamp law mandates keeping a low profile and the penalty for attracting human attention is death. Upon arriving in Elvi's small town for his "date," Victor is horrified to discover that the whole town knows about Elvi. After meeting Elvi, Victor finds himself torn between duty and the instant overwhelming attraction he feels for her. But while Victor is struggling to figure out how to avoid having to bring the woman who just may be his second chance at happiness in to face vampire justice, it looks like the ad may have attracted just the type of attention the council fears -- a vampire hunter and Elvi is the target. Deviating a bit from Sand's usual formula, there was so much of Accidental Vampire that was fun and original. From Elvi's unusual turning, to the great bunch of supporting characters, including a couple that get romances of their own. But most of all I loved that Elvi wasn't the typical twenty year old vamp romance heroine. Being older, Elvi has had a lot of life experiences to give her depth. Also Elvi was a fun character with her single minded enthusiasm, neurotic charm and goofy vampire rules. Victor of course was incredibly hunky, but the hope that he will again have someone to relieve the unrelenting loneliness of his immortal existence makes him very vulnerable. While he sure of what he feels for Elvi, he's not the only sexy immortal to answer Elvi's ad. Even if Elvi chooses him, Victor still has good reason to fear he may lose her -- someone's trying to kill her and there's still the potential council death sentence hanging over her head. The only negative in the book for fans is a positive for readers new to Sands' vampire mythos, in order to make sure that her books are stand-alone reads, Sands explains in every book the whole reason why the immortals are immortal, need blood and can't go out in the sun. This is a very minor nit and it is easy to skip over. So, if it means more fans for Sands so that she keeps selling books and keeps writing more, I'm not complaining. I just loved this book, it was the best of the Argeneau series so far and here's more good news for new and existing fans - Vampire Interrupted is just the first of three new Argeneau books to be released over the next three months. Look for Vampires Are Forever (Argeneau Vampires, Book 8), Thomas' story, in January and Vampire, Interrupted (Argeneau Vampires, Book 9), Marguerite's story, in February. The Argeneau Vampire Series Contempory Vampire Romances by Lynsay Sands: A Quick Bite ( Book 1) Love Bites (Argeneau Vampires, Book 2) Single White Vampire (Argeneau Vampires, Book 3) Tall, Dark & Hungry (Argeneau Vampires, Book 4) A Bite to Remember (Argeneau Vampires, Book 5) Bite Me If You Can (Argeneau Vampires, Book 6) And if you like your vampires in a kilt in a historical setting, try Sand's Highlander Vampire series -- these are collaborations with Hannah Howell: My Immortal Highlander The Eternal Highlander Highland Thirst

Lakshmi

March 16, 2016

This is one of my favourite Argeneau novels. Elvi is an accidental vampire, who was turned under unusual circumstances and has attracted the attention of the Council. Without a sire to guide her, she turned to popular culture for answers and is living in discomfort. Her community accepts her as a paranormal creature and are very protective towards her. This was a welcome change from paranoid, torch and stake wielding humans. Victor Argeneau is an enforcer for the Council. He is sent to investigate the rumours about a vampire who placed an ad to find her life-mate. Elvi ends up with four immortal suitors and the possibility of true love for eternity. This book was filled with funny situations as Elvi is instructed in vampire law and learns that most vampire myths aren't true. There was a mystery and another romantic sub-plot which kept things interesting. This is the perfect book if you are looking for a light paranormal series.

Jayden

March 04, 2009

The book was gorgeous.I chose it due to the blurb on the back, and I didn't regret it one second. It is as funny and unusual a vampire romance as I thought it would be. It had all the "usual stuff" with lifemates, the gorgeous looking vampires and so on, but the story in itself turned out to be surprising and inventive. I mean, really... a 62 year old woman becoming a vampire by accident? A whole town standing behind her as she tries to find her way through the new un-life? And best friends so intent on seeing her taken good care of that they go out of their ways to ensure she gets a man - and start chaos, of course. It's a light, hilarious read I can only recomment. Everyone who likes vampire romance novels will love this one.

Tawnya

January 19, 2014

Excellent novel by Linsay Sands, as usual. Sands books seem to have the witty humor and just enough mystery to keep me turning the pages. I really enjoy reading all of her books, especially the immortal series. In this book the recluse Victor gets sent on a case thinking they have an immortal breaking every law amoung their kind. Elvi didn't know there were laws or other immortal's. She also got all of her information from movies.

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