The Book of Forgiving audiobook

When I first started reading this I confess it was a hard read. So much pain at levels I have never experienced. It made me feel small and fragile to even think of whining about my own troubles when these people really know what it is to experience trauma. Then I learned through the way Mpho and Des

A truly restorative book filled with fantastic spiritual exercises and examples. This is not an entertaining read, it is work. Not the prose, but the subject matter. Yet, if you read it through you can't help but feel better and see the world differently.

Until I read this book, the idea of forgiveness was rather vague and obscure--something that as a Christian I knew I was "supposed" to do, but I really had no idea how to go about it. How did I know if I had truly forgiven? I always had the impression that I had forgiven when I was no longer angry. But how could I stop being angry? Well I guess I needed to do a better job at forgiving because if I was still having flashes of anger, clearly I had not "completely" forgiven.Needless to say, the topic of forgiveness turned into a vicious cycle, with each round gaining a measure of guilt at each pass--forgiveness-> anger-> guilt.This book finally broke that cycle. Based in scientific reasoning, it provides a clear four-step process for forgiveness. In my Christian upbringing, the steps of "Telling the Story" and "Naming the Hurt" were never identified. I always tried to jump from being hurt right to forgiveness, which is why I was never successful.Not only has this book shed light on my personal struggle with the idea of forgiveness, but it has greatly informed my practice as a therapist working with victims who have suffered horrific personal tragedies. This book clarifies that forgiveness is not about the perpetrator, it's about the victim, and it's a critical step in the journey towards healing--one that I will now more consciously include in my therapeutic work.

***UPDATE 3/6/17***. Finished my fifth read. Continues to resonate with me in a multitude of ways. Oprah described this as a "doctorate level education" in the concept of Forgiveness. With a capital F.This book made me weep. Read it if you need to learn how to forgive, what forgiveness is, what it is not, and why it is absolutely mandatory if you want to live a life of love and connection.

Wow...this was so complicated and simple at the same time. Forgive to me was just a word, bandied around... all over the show, by bunches of well meaning do gooders, but now after Desmond Tutu its just so much more. A collection of stories from so many who displayed the utmost in forgiveness in unforgivable situations, it's these powerful displays of forgiveness, that has moved me, enriched me, taught me, calmed me & to forgive is what we should all do, and now is a good time to start.

The best book on forgiveness that I have ever read. It took me four months to read it. It is one you have to digest slowly and purposefully.

Desmond and Mpho Tutu's text is ideal for congregational and community group work on forgiveness, as well as for individual reflection. Spiritual exercises accompany each chapter, inviting readers into the relational, emotional, and spiritual work of forgiving and being forgiven. Recognizing how difficult forgiving and being forgiven can be, the counsel and stories that accompany the exercises show ways to healing and encourage the reader in the journey. Recommended. A peace-cultivating text.

Puts things in perspective.

One of the most important books you'll read in this lifetime. If survivors of apartheid can rebuild a country based on the concept that we're all part of the same human family, that any act can be forgiven, and that every person is capable of transformation, then certainly we can reconsider our own views of who is worthy of forgiveness and who isn't. Including ourselves.It was especially meaningful to read this book while horrific acts of violence are being committed all across the country. Finger-pointing and retaliation will not lead to healing, and it strays from what Jesus calls us to do: Love your neighbor as yourself.I'll be thinking on this book for a long time, and challenging myself to live up to the Tutus' brave and compassionate example.

This was a beautiful, poetic book about forgiveness. And it was a practical book about the process of forgiveness--how we need to name the story, acknowledge the hurt, grant forgiveness and decide to renew or release the relationship. But it's not a spiritual book, which surprised me a bit. He does reference his Christian faith a few times, but it's mostly universal insights and gripping stories that lead to psychological techniques and personal reflection exercises.Given the current crisis of today's news, this book is especially poignant. But it also opens your eyes to the many, many hurts we have all done to each other around the world. We all need to practice giving and receiving forgiveness. And this book will help with that practice.

Truly beautiful book. The instruction for forgiveness is really illustrated well with fabulously shared stories.

Both beautiful and very practical. A book I think could benefit and inspire just about anyone and everyone.

The news of Desmond Tutu passing about 2 weeks ago triggered me to take up this book. I did have some high level insignt into apartheid from reading about Nelson Mandela and also about South African Republic in general but I had not come across any of his own writings. This book makes you rethink your first world problems and assures that there is still hope left for humankind (lots of warm words about generally very depressing situations).“Forgiveness does not relieve someone of responsibility for what they have done. Forgiveness does not erase accountability. It is not about turning a blind eye or even turning the other cheek. It is not about letting someone off the hook or saying it is okay to do something monstrous. Forgiveness is simply about understanding that every one of us is both inherently good and inherently flawed. Within every hopeless situation and every seemingly hopeless person lies the possibility of transformation.”“We are not responsible for what breaks us, but we can be responsible for what puts us back together again. Naming the hurt is how we begin to repair our broken parts.”“Giving the emotion a name is the way we come to understand how what happened affected us. After we’ve told the facts of what happened, we must face our feelings. We are each hurt in our own unique ways, and when we give voice to this pain, we begin to heal it.”“There is a certain kind of dignity we admire, and to which we aspire, in the person who refuses to meet anger with anger, violence with violence, or hatred with hatred.”“When we are uncaring, when we lack compassion, when we are unforgiving, we will always pay the price for it. It is not, however, we alone who suffer. Our whole community suffers, and ultimately our whole world suffers. We are made to exist in a delicate network of interdependence. We are sisters and brothers, whether we like it or not. To treat anyone as if they were less than human, less than a brother or a sister, no matter what they have done, is to contravene the very laws of our humanity. And those who shred the web of interconnectedness cannot escape the consequences of their actions.”“In our own ways, we are all broken. Out of that brokenness, we hurt others. Forgiveness is the journey we take toward healing the broken parts. It is how we become whole again.”“Forgiveness is nothing less than the way we heal the world. We heal the world by healing each and every one of our hearts. The process is simple, but it is not easy.”

It was a struggle for me to finish Desmond and Mpho Tutu's book on forgiving. I was immediately wary of the Christian message which galvanizes me due to having spent 1/2 of my life devoted to Christianity. I was in denial about the power-driven harmful ministers in my ultra conservative tradition. At the end of the book, I realized I had to forgive my experience with Christianity, even though I left it long ago. That aside, they present a psychologically sound path to accommodating tragedies or wounds in our lives. "A new story was written out of the tragedy." No, they suggest nothing about "Let's Pretend" or affirmations distinctly opposite to our personal experiences. Desmond and Mpho Tutu have a simple Four Fold Path for Forgiving. 1) Tell the story. 2) Name the hurt. 3) Grant forgiveness. 4) Renew or release the relationship. Forgiveness serves us, first and foremost. It deletes our suffering. They present any tragic events of accidental deaths, genocides, murders, rapes, and myriad sorrows. The stories are unbelievable compelling and inspiring. I bought the book after reading The Book of Joy by Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama, which I loved. While a struggle, I highly value their and my new view of forgiveness.