The Darkness Outside Us audiobook

4.5there is so much to unpack here....it’s truly a crime that this book seems to be marketed as some cutesy space romcom with gays bc nahhhhh this shit was bonkers. it made me paranoid at 3 in the morning. i don’t even think it should be classified as YA.anyway. was not expecting this to be so deeply philosophical and introspective. i don’t even have anything snarky to say. kinda feel empty and strange about existence now lmao

The Darkness Outside Us was the most breathtaking sci-fi I’ve read all year. An unexpectedly introspective tale balancing humour and unimaginable grief—pain with great payoff. The protagonists—Ambrose and Kodiak—stole my heart from the get-go with their affable banter; this was an experience beyond words (and one I’d kill to see adapted into a movie!) ~★~ What is this book about? ~★~ Minerva Cusk was the first human sent out to colonize Saturn’s moon, Titan. When she sends out a distress signal, her brother Ambrose is the astronaut chosen to rescue her.Soon after, Ambrose wakes from a coma on a sentient ship, with no memory of the launch. He thought he was alone on this mission, but AI tells him there is another person onboard—a man by the name of Kodiak, who is strangely opposed to unlocking his half of the ship for company. It soon becomes clear that if either astronaut hopes to survive, they must put their differences aside and work together to uncover the dark secrets behind their mission.────── {⋆★⋆} ──────Two men from warring countries isolated together in space... that sounded like an incredible premise—one I was beyond eager to read about. Ambrose was the perfect protagonist to narrate this book, with a wonderful sense of humour that cushioned the severity the plot. I loved experiencing his massive heart slowly chipping away at Kodiak’s closed-off demeanor. Their romance sprinkled throughout the story made my heart melt; Ambrose and Kodiak’s circumstances of true loneliness only served to amplify how much they cared for each other. I wanted to give them both a big hug.The Darkness Outside Us is comprised of numerous awe-inducing moments. Testament to the great writing, I could picture almost everything in vivid detail; several action sequences took my breath away due to the characters’ raw emotions, as well as the shocking plot twists. I cried on several occasions because of how much Ambrose and Kodiak went through; their journey will have readers pondering important questions drawn back to our reality. The impact this story had on me is immeasurable!Science fiction has always been my favourite genre (space operas in particular). That being said, there was something about the way Eliot Schrefer established the sense of complete isolation in space that I kept marvelling at. It was so easy to resonate with Ambrose’s feelings of loneliness, fear, and awe while he gazed at the vast nothingness beyond his spacecraft’s windows. There were times I paused in astonishment as I imagined being with the characters, in the centre of endless stars and galaxies.This is (somehow?) marketed as a YA romance. In my opinion, it is not YA, nor is it centrally a romance. I know The Darkness Outside Us would be tremendously well-received in the adult sci-fi community, so I pray it finds the right readers! This is a fairly new book, and one I hope becomes popular. If the synopsis sounds even remotely interesting to you, I implore you to give this a chance; my review doesn’t do it justice, but I’m almost certain you’ll enjoy it!

This book has no buisness being this good. Based on the reviews I expected something destroyingly sad, but what I got was a twisted mystery thriller thing. In space! It was still sad, yes, but I was too busy focusing on not letting my mind blown to let more than a few tears free. There were tears, don't get me wrong, but after every depressing scene the plot picked up and I was in awe of the roller-coaster this book put me through.Read it in one sitting.

This was so good and so much more than it's been marketed as. Sure this has a romance, but it is such an engaging, dangerous, and intriguing story about two boys in space who have to figure out how to survive together. I could not put this book down and I was freaking out with every turn of the page. I didn't know what was going on or how they were going to survive by the end. The romance was adorable and I really loved how it progressed throughout the story. I really can't say much else without spoiling a lot of the book, so I'll just leave it at that. If you're a fan of the Illuminae Files, I would highly recommend picking this up!

OMG, I am writing a review with shaking fingers.What an incredibly, incredibly awesome book!!Safe to say, it is clearly my favorite read this year by far. It's an incredibly powerful and epic story. You have to read it before it gets turned into a Netflix sci fi drama (with actors who just won't do Ambrose and Kodiak justice).Are there flaws? Yes, I believe that there are some flaws in the logic of things. But the biggest flaw gets resolved on the very last page, so it left me a happy reader.Just as an early warning: I'm going to add two layers of spoilers in this review. One for interested readers who want to know more than my ambiguous summary of the plot. And the second one for those who already read the book and who want to discuss it with all things out in the open.But first things first - and I'm beyond excited to write this review, as you can tell.Here's what we know:Earth in the distant future, something like the 2400s: Mankind has seen lots of wars and conflicts (don't we know it), and the result of all of them left two big entities in charge. They're not really countries, more like combinations of economic regions not clearly separated by borders:Federation and Dimokratia (and with today's real world political conflicts in mind: bad tongues would compare them to the US and Russia).Additionally, there is a multinational corporation that seems to have incredible power on Earth: The Cusk Corporation.Minerva Cusk, the daughter of the wealthy Cusk family - citizens of Federation, by the way - is in fact the first person to navigate a space vessel to Titan, one of Saturn's moons, intending to establish mankind's first settlement in outer space. But something goes wrong and Minerva needs a rescue mission.Her younger brother Ambrose Cusk is assigned the delicate task. On board of the space vessel Endeavor, he is on his way to save his sister. It's through his eyes at this point in time that we enter the story.The thing is.... he has blank spaces in his memory. He cannot remember his launch and funny enough, he realizes that he isn't alone on the Endeavor - a fact that he wasn't told about when he prepared for the mission. Apparently, Dimokratia also sent a spacefarer to join the mission: Kodiak Celius.And boy, don't you just love the names in this story ["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

This is in the top five books I’ve read this year, easily. Fortunately I was swayed by the YA romance cover, otherwise I likely wouldn’t have picked it up. Because this is absolutely not a YA romance. It’s significantly closer to horror. With every arc of this story, I spent my time wondering, adjusting, mourning, and repeating the process. I was devastated often. Then relieved, then devastated again. This book must have been so lofty to write, I really admire the author and the time and care he must have put into it. Sometimes I read a book and think, “god, I could have written this. I SHOULD have written this, it’s so close to how I write.” I couldn’t be further from that line of thinking with this one. It’s so much smarter than me, I could absolutely never have written this book. All of that said, there is a romance in this book, and I fell in love with Kodiak and Ambrose as they fell in love with each other.

“am i alive? are you?”i find it hard to conjure words for what is definitely possibly going to be my favorite book of 2022. i don’t think i can find another book…. that makes me question everything, that makes me love, and feel afraid for everything i’ve grown close to. there’s so much i can’t say about this, there’s so much that is only for you to discover alone. but there’s also so much i want to say. this book is, as i like to call it, existentialism space gays. i don’t know how else to describe it. to quote my lovely friend cel about this book, “so often i’d would be mid-sentence, going about my silly little life, and then kodiak and ambrose would pop into my head asking whether i am truly alive and then ‘oh no i can’t breathe i must lie down’”. (she said it perfectly.)this book was just so breathtaking. schrefer knew what he was writing, you can feel just the emotions and the pain and the angst in this story. reading about two boys on the brink of adulthood hurtling through space, surrounded by darkness and stars and a vastness impossible to comprehend. i can’t talk about who they are or their mission or their journey because it is absolutely necessary you know as little as possible. but i can say that there were chapters where i couldn’t read without putting the book down. holding it to my chest. looking up at the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling and feeling my heart crack apart with the reality of this book. it’s so lonely, and in that loneliness we find beauty. i was so scared, but in awe, because of the wild reality and lack of this book presented. ambrose and kodiak: they are soulmates. that may be the point of the book. i could write an entire essay on their connection to each other, on their love story, but i need you to know that this book is about two boys who are soulmates. no matter how… much they face together, the universe still wants them together. it’s not about the space, it’s about the emptyness of it. it’s not about the spaceship, it’s about the two boys inside. it questions what our purpose is, and loving each other is the ultimate purpose.i need you to understand that this book will leave you in ruins. it will make you question life. it asks not just why we’re here, if we actually having meaning, but also what life is, and what defines life. what parameters we live in that give us value. i guess- in a way- it also questions how and why we love, and how we know anything to be true. by asking if we’re alive, schrefer questions truth, and belief, and why we believe in things: because we have no other choice. like how is this a young adult book this is so deep? there is so much meaning packed into this book and so much to unpack but just be prepared for a fun time that makes you feel very lonely and sad but also insanely joyous because, well, it’s a truly amazing book.i hope this was somewhat comprehensible and didn’t scare you away. i hope you’ll read this? if you do i’d love for you to come into my dms and give me your live reactions. it’s a wild time out here.content warnings: blood, violence, death (offpage and by action on page), depression, suicide, vomit

OMG what a wild ride!! And you were all so right! All those friends who told me time and again that I should read this book, that I would love this book, that it was a must-read. Thank you all so much for pushing me into reading this gem. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!A Complicated Love Story Set in Space meets Konstance’s story in Cloud Cuckoo Land. The Darkness Outside Us is thrilling, insane, heartbreaking at times, ingenious, and just my kind of book. I was afraid to start, though. I stared at the cover for a long time, my hands trembling, because what if I wouldn’t like it? But the moment I started reading, I moved to the edge of my seat and wanted to read on and on and on. I loved Ambrose and Kodiak, two boys all alone up there in space, and I gasped, and I screamed, and I cried, and sometimes I had to recover from all those shocking plot twists. Don’t let this book fool you because it’s harsh at times. But it’s also a story about living, about friendship, about intimacy, about trust, and eventually about love. TDOU is splendidly written and a full five-star read, although I l think this should not have been marketed as a YA book. In my opinion, the story would have been even better if those two boys had been two twenty-somethings. But who cares? Because I already added this book to my 2022 most memorable reads shelf! And if you haven’t read it yet, I urge you to pick it up! It’s worth it, I promise!!! Follow me on Instagram

I went into this book knowing absolutely nothing other than the fact that this book had ✨gays in space✨ but. oh my goodness. I am so glad that was all I knew because this book was such a thrilling, evocative, and wild ride that had me literally YELLING. I loved this book so much.- Follows Ambrose, who wakes up aboard the Coordinated Endeavour tasked with flying to the moon Titan to rescue his sister - but has no memory of the launch. When he discovers that he's not alone on the ship, the two boys must work together to survive the journey - and learn that love may be the only way to stay alive.- This book destroyed me. I think I experienced a lifetime of emotions in this book - grief, hope, terror, hopelessness, love... everything. I can't believe this book had me go from absolute cold from terror to crying my eyes out because of [redacted].- I don't want to spoil this book, but I loved what the story explores: What does it mean to live? What does it mean to love? How do we define our existences? - This book is also queer as heck, but I loved the chemistry between Ambrose and Kodiak. The space gays really did deliver - and more.Content warning: death, graphic depiction of injury, off-text and implied sex

2022 reread: "cel why are you doing this again?"well firstly, i like to suffer___(original review)oh boy how do i talk about this book without spoiling it but i will try!we first meet ambrose as he awakens on the coordinated endeavor, a spaceship on course to saturn’s moon - titan - where his sister awaits his rescue. he has no recollection of the spaceship’s launch, however, and he soon learns from the ship’s operating system that there’s someone else on board with him - kodiak, a spacefarer from a rival country. things aren’t at all as they seem, though.so i don’t read a lot of sci-fi. i enjoy it but with the world building and complicated words that sound like static in my head, i don’t often have the cognitive capacity for it. but every once in a while, a book like the darkness outside us comes along, demands to be read, and leaves you feeling a little bit empty, a little bit weird, and very contemplative.this was the most breaktaking sci-fi book i’ve read. it’s introspective, thrilling, and very queer. it’s about love that perseveres in spite of true loneliness. that transcends space and time through desperation and unimaginable grief. that remains tender, even when when circumstances threaten to make you harsh.but beyond that, it’s an exploration of the expanse of the human heart, the human experience, and all it’s capable of. it asks you: what does it mean to live? to love? (clearly not laugh bc i did a lot of crying in this one) what does it mean to exist?are you alive?i love stories that make me think about what it means to be human. to *feel* human. when everything is stripped down to its bare bones - just two people and an infinite nothingness, what is connection? what is intimacy? is there a reason for anything at all?and by now you might have accurately guessed that this book might trigger an existential crisis. it did for me. it put me in the fetal position and i had to take a nap after finishing this book. it also gave me intense emotional whiplash - from laughing one moment, to full on sobbing, to feeling strange and staring at the ceiling. i love that for me.all that to say - *clenches fist* i’m pretty sure this is one of my fave reads of the year.circling back, it’s difficult to talk about this book without spoiling it, and its best experienced blind so I will stop here. i’ll leave it for you to discover if you do read this book. i hope you do.the space gays are really out here delivering.___(top 10 books of 2021 countdown: #1) “the feeling has been there the whole time in the darkness, like a pilot light that’s always been flickering inside me: i will fight to live.” (written for my top 10 books of 2021 countdown on bookstagram where the darkness outside us is ranked at #1)at the end of each year, i rank my top 10 books. for weeks, i struggled with the list. where should this book go? shall i bump that book up a rank? but one thing i had no question about, knew right from the start: the darkness outside us is my favorite book of 2021.how do i talk about a book that has obliterated my capacity for language?for months after finishing tdou, i searched for words to convey the extent of my love for it, to do justice to how deeply kodiak and ambrose have burrowed into my heart. how i did not anticipate for this book to impact me so deeply but not a day goes by where i don’t think about it. and yet, only elevator music.i’ve talked about how sci-fi scares me. world building threatens my two brain cells. so if you think about it, tdou should not be my top book.but it is.to describe this book in a word: breathtaking.breathtaking how perfectly eliot schrefer has crafted this book. just two boys on a spaceship with a deep sense of unease - a seemingly simple plot that ends up being so heartbreakingly thrilling. both epic & intimate; speculative & achingly familiar.breathtaking in its exploration of the expanse of the human experience. are you alive? what is living? how vast the universe is that nowhere is truly empty and yet how much fight we have even when surrounded by darkness. fucking extraordinary.also, the expanse of the human heart. the story of kodiak and ambrose is one that is so deeply ingrained in my head and heart. how this is a sci-fi story but they are the brightly burning star at its core. so much happens because of this love that spans space and time, that holds on so tightly, that says “we will find each other again and again”.how the human heart perseveres in spite of true loneliness, desperation, unimaginable grief, and has the capacity to remain tender even in the harshest circumstances.and also quite literally. breathtaking. so often i would be mid-sentence, going about my silly little life, and then kodiak and ambrose would pop into my head asking whether i am truly alive and then “oh no i can’t breathe i must lie down”the darkness outside us was a monumental part of my year (shoutout to the week long existential crisis!). it is bonkers and fucking anguish, but also incredibly hopeful and beautiful. i didn’t even know i was looking for it, but now its my everything.___*post-book thoughts*i must lie down and have an existential crisis now thanks

i was not expecting to get absolutely emotionally destroyed by this book— but that’s what happened.

4?? 4.5?? 5??This was the wildest thing I've read in a long long while

What did I just read?!