The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home audiobook

This is a fantastic origin story, filled with clever word play, creepy moments, and unfathomable history.

Do you like ghost stories? This book is for you!Do you like revenge plots? This book is for you!Do you like ragtag teams of criminals? This book is for you!Do you like bizarre alternate versions of historical Europe? This book is for you!Do you like dark humor and bitterly harsh realities? This book is for you!Do you like Welcome to Night Vale? Obviously this book is for you; that’s probably what brought you to this review anyway, right?Do you like sweet and happy endings? Dear god, please don’t read this book; find yourself something more wholesome.(Find a slightly longer--and better-formatted--version of this review on my BLOG!)Like all of the content produced by Fink and Cranor, the creators of the hit podcast Welcome to Night Vale, this book is weird. Like, very weird. It probably only appeals to a very specific demographic, but–as you can probably tell from my enthusiasm already–I am a part of that demographic.I’m a huge fan of all things Night Vale-related (though I must confess, I’m not caught up on this season yet), so naturally, I was excited about this book right from the moment I first heard about it. For those of you who are unaware, Welcome to Night Vale is a fictional podcast set in a deeply strange city somewhere in the American southwest, and a recurring side character on the show is the Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home. (Fun fact: on the show, she is voiced by Mara Wilson. You might know Wilson for playing Matilda in the movie Matilda back in the 90’s. Following that movie, she all but disappeared from acting; her time on WTNV is the first acting-related thing she’s done since the year 2000. The more you know!) This book is the Faceless Old Woman’s backstory, from her birth in Europe, centuries ago, through her adolescence and adult years, and up to the events that left her a faceless not-quite-ghost on another continent altogether.First, something to clear up before I start: you can still enjoy this book even if you don’t listen to the podcast. While avid listeners will find plenty of inside jokes wrapped into this story (five-headed dragons, a man who is not tall and a man who is not short, a Brown Stone Spire, and so on), I think the narrative as a whole can be understood even by someone wholly unaware of what else exists in this strange town, because…well, the bulk of this book doesn’t take place in that town at all.The story unfolds in dual timelines. One is in the 2000s, running up to the present, with the Faceless Old Woman speaking to a Night Vale resident named Craig, who she pokes and prods into living what seems like a happy life. She just also casually torments him along the way (the opening scene includes her burning his shoes in a trash can, for example). The other timeline starts in the 1800s, with her childhood on the Mediterranean. From a young age, she was always fascinated by the ships coming and going in the harbor outside her family’s home, especially the mysterious ships bearing a black flag with a white labyrinth logo. But then a childhood tragedy involving those ships occurs, sending her on a furious quest for revenge that wholly changes her life.Teaming up with a band of other misfits–a giant girl who despises what society says about physically strong women, an aro-ace boy who has no interest in marrying anyone even though his wealthy family expects it, and a Jewish girl with a knack for disguises who feels most herself when pretending to be someone else–our protagonist travels from fictional countries like Svitz and Luftnarp to more familiar countries like France and Spain. The book, of course, culminates in a collision of the two timelines as the questions are finally answered:Why does the Faceless Old Woman live in Night Vale? Why is she faceless? And what does she want?This book was at once everything I expected and nothing like I expected. The language in it followed Fink and Cranor’s signature blend of beautiful, image-heavy, profound statements, with glib, sarcastic, and absurd departures mere moments later.And, in a move that summed up this entire book (and their entire Night Vale universe) in a single quote, they produced this gem:"There’s a thin line separating humor and horror, and this was that line."Honestly, that one line sums this book up beautifully. It is so many things wrapped into one, existing in the liminal space between terms that tend to be considered separate categories. It is too funny to be a drama but too heavy to be a comedy. It is too human to be a ghost story but too spooky to be realistic. It is too weird to be taken seriously, but too serious to be waved off dismissively. The formula is tricky, but like verbal alchemists, the authors have gotten it down to as precisely scientific as an art can be.In terms of typical book review stuff, our protagonist is wonderfully complex, the pacing is remarkably smooth for a book that spans multiple centuries, and the plot managed to pull a couple twists that even I didn’t see coming. The ending was sad, but not surprising, and certainly not maudlin. The novel was, as a whole, more somber than typical Night Vale fare, but that was entirely fitting for this particular storyline and worked to its advantage. Plus, you know, I’m always here for any asexual rep we can get, and having a charming, sociable ace as a major secondary character just made it that much better. I could go on for ages, but all you really need to know about this book is that it is written well, it is written weirdly, and just because I loved it doesn’t mean you will.Still–I hope you will give it a try. To me, this book was awesome beyond words, and I hope that some of you out there will be able to share in my enjoyment of this bizarre beauty of a book.Thank you to the publisher for providing me with a digital copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review!

I attempted many different voices, hoping to find anything that could reach him. I tried being Jesus. I tried being one of the horses. I tried telling him I was his subconscious, but he didn’t know what that word meant. He never questioned the existence of the voices, but he certainly did not take them seriously.This was not what I was expecting, but was still an entertaining read. I thought the vibe was a lot different than It Devours, creepier and more solemn, if I had to pinpoint. We start out with the (deeply flawed but still sympathetic) faceless old woman in present day basically lurking and intervening in people’s lives, mainly a guy named Craig, although we don’t know why for most of the book. These brief sections are humorously creepy.The majority of the book is spent with the old woman telling the story of her life, which is mainly one of pirates/crime and vengeance. Some of this dragged a bit for me, although the characters were all interesting. Eventually we catch up to present day and figure out why the old woman is faceless and so long living, and what’s up with her and Craig. These sections were my favorite parts, I wish there were more of them.

The opener was strong and compelling. It was creepy and gave me chills of excitement. I would be content just to read about how this creepy old lady ghost takes care of this Craig and haunts him and the people around him into good decisions. There should be a book on that! It reminds of You by Caroline Kepnes, the stalker murderer psychopath, but with a side of paranormal vigor.Many stories use this style of writing: use the present time to set the mood of the ending, and then use flashbacks to tell the story leading to this point. Most of the time this accessory to the main story is boring, and does nothing the further along the actual plot. However, in this case, it is exceptionally well done. The main story is about a precocious girl who lived by the sea in a recluse land. Her mother died when she was young, and it was her father who brought her up by himself. As she grew older, she became suspicious her father’s work. Eventually she uncovered the world of smugglers, thieves, and bandits. The protagonist is clever and determined, and likeable because of that. You can understand her ambitions, and at the same time respect her swiftness and precision once she has made up her mind. The same traits that I admire in her unfortunately became her Achilles heel, for this is a story of betrayal and revenge. It requires a character who equally mastered the art of cunning and deception to lead her to her demise, and the story delivers!He is reason, she is rage. The ending is satisfying in its uniqueness. After the protagonist’s natural death, we followed her ghostly presence through time. Although the plot was over, I enjoyed the journey of her wandering spirit and hoped another machination will spring up. Alas, knowing the physical end of the book draws near, my hope was dashed. After finishing the book, I reflected the protagonist’s life with a sense of despair. She’s driven by ambition, and she’s someone who demands from life something more than simple comfort. I think she’s happy in her pursuit, but the circumstances of her life’s natural end rendered all her meaning void. That was sad, and tragically beautiful. The true ending was spectacular, it looped back and connected with the beginning and brought with it the full throttle of its fury and darkness. For me, this book sets the standard for all vengeful ghosts. From now on, all things and persons haunted better have a backstory as compelling as the one in this book.

This was not at all what I expected from a Night Vale novel, but it was a fantastic origin story for the character that has always intrigued me the most from the WTNV universe. Usually I expect a good bit of nonsense when it comes to WTNV content, but this novel was more grounded. I loved listening to the audiobook performance, narrated by Mara Wilson. This is one instance where the audiobook version really elevates the story, and I'd encourage everyone to give it a listen on its own or follow along with it while you read the book.

"My life had measured Itself in moments, in days, and in months, but my best magic nothing. I, like the universe, was called, timeless and ever-expanding". The story was told from a first-person point of view, the faceless woman herself. It follows the faceless old woman who secretly lives in people houses. She goes around Craig's life watching his every move. Then, she began telling us her own story right from when she was born. Her mother died giving birth to her and when she grew up as a kid, she found out what was her father's job really is. Her father end up being killed. During her adult-hood, she became pirate. After years full of adventures in pirating, smuggling business, she went back to her hometown where she reunited with a childhood friend, Albert, and spent years there. Unexpectledly, she had found a letter and got to know who is actually Lady Nora that made her seek revenge to her uncle. Vengeance is useless. She became a spirit or should I say a ghost? At the end she found a place called Nightvale where angels are and she is given a chance to do good.The way the book was told in the first chapter spooks me. I almost imagined that the woman is in my house! It is an easy read, very engaging, a page-turner for sure! What a fun ride in this amazing life adventures of the spooky but funny faceless old woman! The characters building is good, the plot-twist is unexpected. I certainly cannot live on with the ending. I want to read more of her final place, Nightvale! Maybe I'll check out the podcast after. Thank you HarperPerennial #oliveinfluencer for sending me this copy! This book will be out on 24th March 2020.

What was this book?! How do I read more like this???This was the most confusing book ever. Except it wasn't. It wasn't hard to follow. I kind of guessed why she was hanging around Craig. But the backstory was so much more in depth and weird than I would have guessed. I loved the issues that kept arising in this story. Like, not everything went to plan. Like, at all. You'd finally think she'd figured it out and then, PSYCH!Some top notch moments were:Craig. CrAIG. Stop screaming. (said with more casualness than I've ever used when speaking about anything.)Craig, you really need to pay your credit card bill because I didn't get to finish Cheers on Netflix.Oh, I paid off all your debt! I helped you find your girlfriend (and she's lovely Craig), also I put tiny spiders in your shirt collar. Also somewhere around the 7 hour mark on audiobook (roughly 2 hours left in the audio) she starts to ramble in a very sing-songy way and it's so disturbing, but delightful. Mara Wilson being the narrator. Please, for the love of everything, give her a Grammy for this performance, and IDK, throw lots of money at her so she narrates more? Someone talk her into narrating everything. Please. I beg of you.

The prequel to Welcome to Night Vale we didn't know we needed! The faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home has always been a curious character. Where did she come from? Why doesn't she have a face? Why is she so obsessed with Craig? This origin story is truly amazing. We start in the 18th Century when our young heroine grew up and follow her all the way up to present day Night Vale. This book is a beautiful blend between horror and historical fiction and the ending gave me chills. Great for both fans of Night Vale and newcomers to the world.

This is definitely my favorite Night Vale novel. It's full of disturbing history, tragedy, and adventures that take you far away from the city of Night Vale. I did not expect to like it for the first chapter or so, but the story that spans far over a century became really intriguing very quickly.

El trasfondo de la pícara de Joseph Fink que se le fue de las manos. En serio, gran historia de piratas con el terror chungo de WTNV. Los plotwist son terroríficos y es jodidamente-increíble-me-encanta. Después de la desilusión de It Devours! vuelvo a estar contento con WTNV ^^. Además este libro se puede leer sin haber escuchado el podcast *guiño* *guiño*