The Game audiobook

I know I'm taking a risk by even acknowledging its existence and my familiarity with its contents. It may not be interpreted kindly that an Orthodox rabbi (in training) reads *this* widely. But this book tells a story of ethical tension that is, hands down, the most powerful treatise on morals and group dynamics I have ever read. Period.I found it at once the modern man's sefer musar of choice, and the endgame of every single Reality TV show ever made. But it is not for everyone.You'll know if it's for you after reading the first 10 pages. (The first 5 are here)THE GREAT novelty in this book is simple: credibility. The author walks down roads, and perhaps comes to conclusions, that ultimately reflect an eerily familiar set of values. However, this presentation is backed up by his experience, and so we trust his authority.And who is "we"?: non-authoritarian, ethical, sexually aware (not necessarily active) human beings who thoughtfully approach the question: What kind of relationship is a good one? Because before we even seek an Other, we must choose: wordless college hook-up, one-night stand, short term "friend", long term friend "to have fun with", companion, life partner, or spouse/best-friend to start a family with (or yet something else). This book may make you question your unconscious assumptions or conscious decisions in this area.(I admit my assumption that female readers can also gain these things from a man's story.)Authoritarians ask their authorities (clergy, philosophers, etc.) and skip the discovery process I describe. Unethical people should have little interest in the book, as ethical-tension is the book’s essential content, and they can get more direct material online. Finally, sexually -unaware or -sensitive folk (e.g., modest or religious individuals) won’t stomach the mildly graphic descriptions of what the protagonist lived through – ignorance is bliss, for them.Understand:A 'pickup artist' is an amateur social scientist who adopts a language of "technology" complete with acronyms and jargon in order to systematize interpersonal relations: in this specific instance, how to get girls into bed. With the internet as catalyst, they formed a community, granting the unprecedented ability to share knowledge and methods.The author is an NYT and then Rolling Stone reporter who, born and raised a geek, discovered this community of pickup artists. To make a long story short, he mastered the "art". How did it change him? Does power corrupt? Esp. power over sexuality?The book is selfish. I.e., it is about self-discovery, self-esteem, self-worth. It is about the connection sex has to the self, and reveals much about the modern cultural condition. It also tells a story, and effortlessly, such that rays of life’s truths stream though the filter of (every) author’s unavoidable sins of omission. You will learn what you want to from the book, and therein lies the "danger" in my recommendation.Full disclosure: I vicariously got something out of my system, learned about the human being, and myself. It validated many concepts I have about friendship, group dynamics, and honesty. It also serves as a warning about the evils of backbiting and gossip, misogyny, and coveting. To my mind, it points to similar conclusions that I see in classical Jewish ethical literature. It complements Wendy Shalit's Modesty nicely. I am not a fan or groupie: I am engaged to a woman who has trebled the joy and light in my life, and opened up new worlds to me, my teacher, my student – so I am not a consumer of this. And the only habit I have adopted since reading the book is to smile whenever I walk into a room of people I don't know. Though perhaps, that is life-changing enough...Update: Not married to the woman anymore, so maybe I now am part of the target audience (and potential consumer), and could benefit from a reread. But FWIW, none of my life experiences in the intervening years would give me any cause to step back from what I said above.

I'll start with the Cliff Notes for those of you who don't like long reviews: This book would be five stars if it was about 200 pages shorter. And if you're one of those people who takes things way too literal, confuses the opinions and attitudes of the subject for the opinions and attitudes of the author, or needs every report of observed misogyny to be prefaced with twelve paragraphs of either apology or condemnation ... this is probably not the book for you.At the same time this book makes a rather revolutionary suggestion that I think more women NEED to open their minds to. But that's not the way things go with this one ... people get too distracted by the bombast. They either eagerly attach themselves to the promise of some secret seduction technique, or they become blinded by their offense.It's true, there are a lot of offensive things in this book. But that seems to be par for the course with social commentary nowadays. If no one is pissed off, no one is listening.My first exposure to this book was Arden Leigh's column on being a female pickup artist (here after PUA). I was fascinated by the idea, but like most I didn't really believe her claims. She looked perfectly pretty to me. Doubtful her "technique" played that much of a significant role in her seduction success. Probably more like a combination of actual attractiveness and good old fashioned confidence.Then a female friend described this book as "amazing" and "life-changing" and I thought "waaaaaaaatt?" O.o Especially since this friend is normally all positive energy, self love, visualization/actualization bullshit. Talk about cognitive dissonance.I was intrigued, and within twenty pages I understood EXACTLY why she loved it.Let me clear something up for the rest of you: THIS IS NOT A BOOK ABOUT HOW TO SLEEP WITH WOMEN.This is a book that tries to trick you into thinking that it's about having sex with the hottest girls possible, because that is way more marketable than the actual content (especially to a male audience). But that is not what this book is about. The amount of actual advice on how to pick up women is tiny ... barely 5% I'd say.This is a memoir -slash- cautionary tale about the dangers of living your life constantly seeking validation from others. The various PUA artists in this book are all depicted as sad, pathetic, self-loathing, mentally unstable people who truly believe that being desirable to others will make them like themselves more. But from chapter one Strauss makes it clear that doesn't happen. They get everything they think they want and end up more miserable for it.The problem is this book is too fucking long. I half suspect that most of the people (both women and men) who talk about it in terms of its seduction secrets did not read it to the end. Add to this the fact that Strauss is trying to stay in character as he narrates his journey from True Believer to Disillusioned Master and the profound brilliance of The Game barely has a chance. There are plenty of hints dropped throughout the book about Strauss's eventual enlightenment, but some people have no mind for subtly I guess.Anywayz...--PART ONE--The first chunk of The Game tosses out a pretty mindblowing concept for would be Gamers to consider: Attraction is not physical, but psychological. Part of what annoys me about the so-called "feminist" reaction to this book is that there's a multi-billion dollar industry built around convincing women of the exact opposite and humiliating anyone who dares to call bullshit. An industry that makes the bulk of its money by inventing flaws and imperfections to make women feel horrible about themselves. And yet the best we can come up with to combat it are fairytales about "different standards of beauty"? These feminists act like liberation from the image-obsessed media is all about accepting your lot in life and just waiting for a partner whose standard of beauty happens to fit your look to come along. They accept the underlying notion that some people are "pretty" and some are not ... and try to use relativity as a weak defense.The big problem with this thinking is that people are not static. Looks change over time. If the answer was to rely on the off chance someone somewhere thinks you are beautiful exactly the way you are ... what happens when you no longer look the way you used to?By contrast Mystery's Method claims attraction has more to do with how people feel around you than how you look. Mystery teaches his students about group think and instructs his pupils to focus on the friends of the hot girl, rather than the hot girl. People are strongly influenced by the opinion of the group. Anyone who's taken a basic organizational behavior class has read the mounds of research on this. When your target sees everyone around her acting like you are amusing and desirable, she will be more attracted to you.People become much more susceptible to that suggestion when they themselves feel insecure. So the second thing Mystery teaches his students is the "neg". Probably the most controversial part of the book, the neg is basically just a back handed compliment. It's teasing, innocent, and delivered in a flirtatious manner. It's this disconnect between the words (which sound like a criticism) and the way they are delivered (which sounds positive) that makes people second guess themselves. And the suggestion that maybe the PUA isn't interested in the target makes the target more likely to convince themselves of an attraction. The group desires something apparently unattainable ... a recipe for attraction.Of course some readers seem to have interpreted the passages about negs to mean "act like a fucking jerk" That's not at all what Strauss is describing.Most of The Game's secrets resonated with me because I've been there. When I was twenty-two my life fell apart and I moved to the Czech Republic to escape my demons. My first week there I fell for a stocky, thirty-six year old statistician with a bowl cut and coke bottle thick glasses (Revenge of the Nerds all the way). I knew objectively speaking this man was in no way attractive, but I couldn't help myself. I had the biggest crush.I was also in a strange country where I didn't speak the language. I had no idea where I was going to live, whether I could get a job. I knew NO ONE. And here was this guy who was knowledgeable about something interesting to me and talked to me like I was SMART. Of course I was smitten.At the same time two of my American roommates were fighting over a balding, short, bespeckled geologist who smoked way too much pot and had abandoned his pregnant girlfriend back in the states to run off to Prague ... So yes, it's not that people have "different standards of beauty", it's that attraction is psychological.Now take a minute to consider what that means: you can be with any person you want. Right now. Absolutely anyone. The determining factor is not perfecting your physical form, but making them feel a certain way around you. They won't suddenly think you're beautiful, they will suddenly not care that you aren't. Consider that unlike your physical appearance, your personality and social skills don't change.Every girl in America should read this book.--PART TWO--This is where the book suffers. Strauss moves from discussion of technique to long rambling conquest stories with backgrounds of various PUA mixed in. Although the PUAs become important later, at least half of these could have been cut.--PART THREE--The last part of the book is probably the most important. Prior to this Strauss has tried to maintain the voice and perspective of someone who believes he has discovered the secrets of the universe. There is the occasional remark that alludes to problems with the PUA lifestyle (many of his ... err colleagues? have no other interests or pursuits, Strauss finds that while he has no problem picking up women he has become sort of the jerk to his friends, the community's resentment of women alarms him, etc, etc, etc) but the narrative quickly jerks back.Until Strauss's mentor begins to self-destruct. At this point Strauss realizes that most of his students haven't gained anything by being PUAs, they've actually lost a lot. Even though they win the women they want, they only wanted those women in the first place because they were trying to impress others. Instead of seducing the crowd to win the girl, they are trying to win the girl to seduce the crowd. Instead of surrounding themselves with awesome people who make them happy, they inevitably surround themselves with people who they think will make them look attractive and successful to others but ultimately do not like. This soulless existence only increases their underlying self hate.Strauss's ultimate point is that the reality of the PUA is giving up all the pleasures of ACTUAL LIFE for the endless quest of validation from some outside source. The tragedy being that as soon as the PUA gets to know the person providing the validation, once they become a human being with their own flaws and insecurities, they're approval is no longer valuable. And so the cycle continues until everyone is miserable.

One of the best things about looking through the 'Giveaways' on Goodreads is discovering new books coming out soon by authors you have read.Neil Strauss will release his new book called "The Truth" "An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships" ....sometime soon. (hope to win it through the give-a-ways -hint-hint) About THIS book: It was a gift...from a successful Jewish Male friend who lived in S.F. who knew Neil Strauss. (Funny gift, I know)... But I enjoyed it more than I thought...I enjoyed it tons and tons more than I thought! Strauss was very frank about his 'logical' methods: "Teaching men how to be more confident in 'picking up women'." As a woman --I had to admit --I felt many of his techniques -(as much as I might have wanted to avoid them -already married at the time anyway), --were 'spot on'! The best part of the book (all kidding aside) --was the science behind behind the techniques, and his personal 'real' life stories. The book felt truthful -(scary to a face this truth at times), It was nice to discover I didn't think Neil Stauss was a asshole. I saw his heart!Most, the book was very entertaining!

Oh wow, hard to say if I'm horrified or fascinated or what. I guess some of both. Good thing I'm reading this for book club cuz I can't wait to discuss. I can't believe this is for real. And then what I'm wondering is, what are girls supposed to do? Just sit there and look pretty? Hmm. But here's some quotes I liked:"In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get it. This isn't because the universe is cruel. It's because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps." (p 114)"We have the idea that love is supposed to last forever. But love isn't like that. It's a free-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes it stays for life; other times it stays for a second, a day, a month, or a year. So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable. But don't be surprised when it leaves, either. Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it." (p 193)"And building a lifestyle is cumulative. Everything you do counts and brings you closer to your goal. The right lifestyle is something that is worn, not discussed." (p 252)

This book addicted me even before I owned it. I found it on the floor of a friend's house and devoured two chapters before I ran to Borders to get it for myself. Then I found myself staying up till all hours to finish it, taking notes, chatting with friends about it, and reading everything the author put out. And I'm a woman.I didn't find it offensive, ridiculous, or prurient, I found it a nice tasty behavioral anthropological meal. At the same time, I didn't pity or laugh at the guys pictured inside. Real social pressures were at play on everyone involved, and Strauss depicted all his subjects with brotherly affection. Even the women, who a lesser writer would have objectified completely, were treated with respect and fairness. He's honest about his feelings for them, or lack thereof. It struck me a break-neck epic full of anti-heroes (and anti-heroines) all competing for love, sex, and glory, and I ate it up.

People are likely to have strong feelings about this book, from disgust to bemusement to desperate interest on the part of the AFCs ("Average Frustrated Chumps") that Strauss talks so much about, after confessing to being one. However, it should be understood that this particular book is a memoir and an expose by a Rolling Stone journalist, not an actual pickup guide. While Strauss talks a lot about the "seduction techniques" he and his fellow PUAs (Pick-Up Artists) developed, this isn't a self-help guide for teaching them. (If that is what you're looking for, Strauss still runs a company call "Stylelife Academy" which sells workshops and DVDs and coaching, etc.)I listened to this book (narrated by the author himself) because of course I have heard of these "Pickup Artists" and while I have no interest in playing "the Game" or becoming the sort of person they describe, it's an interesting, fascinating, somewhat pathetic subculture, but it's also instructive. For example, feminists tend to react most strongly to PUAs and their philosophy, which tends to treat women as puzzles you have to unlock. Get the right combination of words and gestures and you score the poontang. It's obviously dehumanizing in its implications, and Strauss keeps going back and forth, admitting on the one hand that PUA lifestyle is dehumanizing and tends to lead to misogyny, but on the other hand, defending the poor involuntary celibates who are just looking for love and can't figure out why what they are doing isn't working.The more interesting thing (and possibly infuriating, fascinating, or disturbing, depending on your POV) is that it's evident that these routines work. It's not mind control or a secret passcode that will get women to have sex with you, but Strauss and his PUAs really have figured out a series of approaches that can be executed in an almost algorithmic fashion, and which elicit desired responses (i.e., interest, arousal, disinhibition, etc.) The key to it is that they are playing a numbers game, which means getting over the natural aversion most people have to making countless approaches and being rebuffed the vast majority of times, and perhaps more importantly, they are looking for certain types of women and certain types of relationships. After spending a couple of years in this lifestyle, Strauss becomes weary of it because he and his posse are living like unwashed bachelors in a Hollywood mansion, with hot and cold running women, internecine catfights (male and female) over everything from relationships to money to household chores, and in the meantime, while PUAs do get laid a lot, very few of them wind up in fulfilling long-term relationships. Their original objective (getting a woman to bestow interest and affection and sex) has become an end in itself, and as Strauss describes it, the very process becomes addictive.That said, listen to how he describes these techniques, and you can see that while most women will say "Oh, that would never work on me," in fact it does. I think what a lot of PUAs miss is that perfecting calculated psychological manipulation as an art and a science isn't gender specific - you could easily develop similar techniques to work on men, or for application outside the domain of romance.Anyway, Strauss starts out his career as a PUA by attaching himself to a MPUA (Master Pick-Up Artist) named Mystery.Mystery (who teaches the Mystery Method) looks like this:PUAs call this "Peacocking." Yes, they deliberately dress flamboyantly and outrageously, in a way no real person would dress when not cruising for chicks on the Sunset Strip. (Keep in mind that these guys, in the book, are mostly operating in Hollywood. You can do this in LA or Vegas or NYC - I suspect they wouldn't advise you to "peacock" in quite the same way if you are trying some Game at your church social in Boise.)Mystery, it turns out, is a mess, and that's true of pretty much all the PUAs. None of them start out as "alpha males," which is why they do so much posturing to convince everyone they are one. Most of them are really sad, damaged little boys. This shows itself over and over again as no matter how much Mystery and Strauss score, inside they are still the same old insecure, needy guys seeking female approval that they always were.Strauss's account of life in the PUA community makes it easy to see how they'd attract a certain sort of person, and yet it doesn't seem to lead anywhere but emptiness. But there is more to them than desperate guys trying to get laid. Strauss manages to use his "Game" even on celebrities. In the presence of Tom Cruise, he sees a true alpha male; Cruise may be a Scientologist wacko, but he's also a genuinely charismatic and forceful personality. Strauss ends up sharing a house with Courtney Love for weeks, dates one of her band members, and during an interview with a very bored and uncooperative Britney Spears, uses his PUA techniques to turn it around and have Britney eating out of the palm of his hand.It's also funny when he talks about the splintering and franchising of PUA "Projects," particularly towards the end, as Strauss goes cruising Hollywood bars and finds all the women reacting with bored amusement to his lines, which have now been disseminated so thoroughly that everyone has heard them.This book isn't going to help you with your love life, but it's a fascinating look at psychology and a subculture that seems most fit for reality TV shows.

“If there was anything I'd learned, it's that the man never chooses the woman. All he can do is give her an opportunity to choose him.” This is not a normal book read for me. I got it for my husband after he heard the author on the Howard Stern show. I will say that this is definitely a book geared for men but if you are an open minded female it is an interesting enough story that of one man’s journey from a total average boy next door struggling to get a date, into a super mac daddy to a man who learned what it meant to really connect with someone else.The journey was full of interesting people and ideas. If you are a single male this is a great book to if nothing else get across that the more confident you are the more likely you are to attract someone of the opposite sex. Everyone knows that right, but it gives you some great ways to create an opening in a social situation. If you are creative you could probably take some ideas from this book and twist them up to your benefit.There are some stories in the book including interactions with Scott Bayo and Tom Cruise that were incredibly interesting. The story of Mystery and the workshops he was running for men to learn how to seduce women were crazy and it was hard to believe that someone would walk around in complete peacock fashion but I’ve seen pictures since reading the book and it would seem that the portrayal him was pretty accurate. Mystery had a pretty up and down life, he was an interesting character in the book and reading about his highs and lows put an interesting spin on the story.Guys If you might need a little extra help to figure out how to talk to girls, or what to read about someone else’s struggles and triumphs then this is probably a good start. It also has a list of books that you might want to check out on how to please a woman in bed…..just a suggestion, as well as other books on seduction if you are so inclined to delve deeper. I don’t think it will make you into a dating machine but it had some decent tips and a story is totally directed toward men.Girls If you are single and part of the dating scene, I’d recommend reading this. Chances are some form of the game has been run on you at some point. I’m not saying to shoot down anyone that tries to run a scenario on you, but at least you would know ahead of time what you were getting into. This book might have saved me from a jerk or two back in my single days. I think that most girls will like where the story ends.And the Moral of the story is..... “Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it's a relationship, a business or a hobby.”

Caution, this isn't a self-help book about how to pick up women.Instead, this is an honest well-written autobiography of a formerly nerdy writer/journalist who tried and succeeded to fill his lack of social skills by learning tricks to connect with people. The opposite sex in particular.He investigates a group of 'pick-up artists'. These are boys like you and me who think too much and have a barrier of insecurity towards other people. They break it down by engineering and using comforting formulas, which have been tested and successful. Almost like computer programming.With this I don't want to say women are easy to figure out. I think it's more a case of providing a reassuring guide and structure which makes the goal look more attainable. Men need this. This way they lose their fear to fail and get valuable experience during this trial & error. The self-assured approach is half the battle. It's good to know what most women their favorite subjects, feelings and values ('chick crack') are, but in the end, it's more important to realize that a confident leading man with a plan will always seem the most attractive. That's a simple fact. Off course you also need to practice patience and understanding.When you use these expert advices in the 'field', women will listen and consider you as a possible match. Now, the important part is, like Neil Strauss also clearly states, that after you have build some kind of self-confidence and ability to not take everything serious, you can slowly put your own self in your approach to strangers and make really interesting connections. Have relationships, you never would have expected to happen. The ultimate goal is to bring the right people together, instead of marrying the first girl that pays attention to you.Sadly, there are also social robots like 'Tyler Durden', who use people and are absolutely pathetic.But this is the story of Neil Strauss, who gets my five stars not only because he is a super likeable, sensitive and intelligent man of great understanding but also a wonderful writer.Hopefully I myself can use some of his tricks and knowledge to open a conversation with an interesting girl without making it too awkward.I learned a lot about women, love and sex and must say I would never want to become a 'Pick-Up Artist', and I think that's exactly what Neil Strauss wanted to express with his story.There is nothing to hate over here.

I've been fascinated about the idea of a pickup artist community ever since I heard about its existence last year. What do these people do? Does it work? Why? This was the book seen as the essential guide to this underground lair of secret lotharios, written by seminal pickup artist guru "Style" who published an article about the scene in the NYT a few years ago. However, this book was wasn't available from the library, so I read THE MYSTERY METHOD first.Then a friend got a copy of this book back from the guy he'd lent it to. I kind of smirked when I saw he'd disguised it in the dustjacket of a more benign novel. I smirked less when I found myself flipping to the back of the dust jacket in an attempt to see what Style (aka Neil Strauss) looked like, only to see the picture of Umberto Eco. My curiosity at his looks stemmed largely from the fact that Style, like Mystery, claims to be able to sleep with any woman he wants.I'm glad I read THE MYSTERY METHOD first, because there are a lot of terms unique to the pickup artist culture. In fact, there's a glossary, but the glossary didn't cover every term I wanted (evolution phase shift?) Even so, there were so many people out "sarging" (picking up girls) that they developed their own styles and terminology to go with it.The story is basically how Style met Mystery, learned to pick up women, got good at it, rose to the apex of what they though possible, and watched as everything crashed and burned around them. This is a comfortable and successful plot arc, which has been used for everything from crime to gambling to alcohol and drug addiction. Two things made this story compelling. One, Style is an actual writer. Two, most of the characters (especially Mystery) are complete train wrecks.This book reminded me of WAR (Junger) and EASY COMPANY SOLDIER (Malarkey) in that like frontline combat, pickup artist circles are an exclusively men-only arena, and nothing intrigues me more than a "keep out! no girls allowed!" sign. At one point, they interview Heidi Fleiss, and say that she's "one of them" but I didn't buy it. In fact, as the story progresses to the point where Style, Mystery, and the other pickup artist gurus are living in a mansion in Hollywood, Style points out that "Project Hollywood" (the name for their bachelor pad) is remarkably devoid of women. He got into the game to meet women, but ended up with a band of brothers, who became a band of frenemies.Although it's not a how-to book by any means, this memoir fleshed out the dry how-to of THE MYSTERY METHOD fairly well. They briefly touch on other techniques, for example, woo-woo "waking hypnosis" where you get the "target" (attractive female) to conjure up happy/aroused feelings, and partner them with a gesture, word, or kinesthetic motion, then use that trigger to re-conjure those feelings. Another technique is "cocky funny" where the pick up artist jokingly and confidently assumes that every woman wants him. Most of the other techniques were varieties on the Mystery method. When you get down to it, the fact that these work is not mysterious. They all pretty much boil down to the fact that women like confident, powerful, interesting men who pay attention to her. Duh. Saying that women are helpless before this is like saying that men are helpless in the face of big sexy hair and giant tits.One of the side effects of being a successful pickup artist, some of the men lament, is that they no longer trust women to ever be faithful. It didn't matter if their target was married or had a boyfriend, they still got phone numbers. (To this I'd say, it's hard to say that "all women are unfaithful" if your sample selection is "attractive, urban, young women drinking in bars or clubs." )They also became mysogynistic once they realized how easy it was to pick up women with a few simple lines. I've heard similar things from women who lost a lot of weight--that the instant uptick in attention makes them feel disdainful of how shallow men were. Another disadvantage was that sarging soon took over the rest of their lives. They no longer had jobs or hobbies or even girlfriends, as their lives were so consumed with going out to hunt for new targets. Style and the other pick up artists soon realized what every addict eventually realizes--that even sleeping with a different beautiful woman every night won't make up for deep underlying problems you are too afraid to face.As the story progresses and Mystery and Style become richer and more famous, they become killed by their own success. New students use their material to the point that they can't find a woman who hasn't heard it. The inner coterie of pick up artists act more and more like rock stars, until strange people are wandering in and out, the drama escalates to MTV levels, and at one point even Courtney Love moves in. Ironically, Courtney occasionally comes out as one of the most emotionally mature people in the house, which really says something.The novel winds up with a happy "here's what they're doing now" ending for most of the main characters--most of which I don't believe. Even Style ends up happy and leaving the scene, after he meets a gorgeous woman named Lisa who won't fall for his schtick. His attempts to seduce her fail and fail and fail again, until he gets one-itis that he breaks it off with every other woman to commit to Lisa. I'd feel less cynical about the ending if I hadn't recognized her "hook a man and land him" strategy. I think she got it from THE RULES.

Yes, I'm female and No, I didn't read this to learn "pick-up" tricks! I heard about this New York Times bestseller a couple months ago from a girlfriend of mine in LA, I was intrigued enough to pick it up. Once I started reading I could not put it down! It is 400+ pages and it's an absolute page turner (in my opinion). It is very easy to read. I read the whole book in one weekend.Strauss exposes an interesting, often sad world of how easily everyone (men and women) can be manipulated, influenced, and persuaded by our unmet needs, emotions, and our primal need to belong and connect with others. He plays this out in the LA social scene. But again, it goes far beyond dating and pick-up lines. The Game is a bit of a disturbing look into our "emotional hooks", how and why we make decisions, non-verbal communication, and how we all use or don't use power tactics. It is a book like none other- I've never read anything like it. It is a true story of Strauss and his life in LA for a couple years, it is a wild, thought provoking, raw story. The 'pick-up" components are 3% of the story, and the under currents of psychology/ human behavior is 97% of the book. I've read alot of self-help, pseudo-spiritual books over the years, this one definitely stayed with me, it is an eye opener!

Fascinating, unbelievably cringe-inducing and just downright pathetic, "The Game" is equal parts journal, "Penthouse Forum," snuff film, dog-eared, back-of-magazine ad for "How to Pick Up Girls," and closed-head-injury survivor encounter session as hopeless, socially-bankrupt, mouth-breathing, desperate no-lifers mack on the ladies and fall all over themselves to test drive their game in bars, restaurants, museums, and just about anywhere else where gullible harlots, hedonists, sybarites, sodomites, debauchees, degenerates, wallowers, and wastrels pass the time, all too eager to fall for bullshit so deep you have to keep your feet up so you don't get any on your shoes, eyes glazing over as they wait for Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet and lead them down the road to Trouble Town.In other words, I loved it.

I was convinced that I would hate The Game when I first picked it. I was, in fact, on my high horse looking for a book to hate. I can be machiavellian in this way: I look for books to despise just to balance things out at times. Immersed in my own sense of rationality, I was collecting my own evidences to add weight to the generally acclaimed judgements that, "men are full of shit", "men are dogs" or that "men only want sex". Quite paradoxically, The Game has entertained me so much that I have ended loving it. Maybe, Neil Strauss' Game and enchantments have worked on me ? Haha, so I believe! This book has been way too much fun; so much fun, that the faint inner FemCom side of me was left confused and to feel slightly guilty. I can only pacify that side of me, and all the rest, with the thought that women want sex as much as men, but the way we proceed at it is different; and, it is exactly at this intersection that The Game wins its relevance.I can only imagine this book to be useful to my nerdiest single friends, who as victims of their own vulnerabilities, have struggled, or are still struggling with pickups. In my perspective, pickups are extremely important an early age at least, to keep that confidence lit. Not only a social skill, but it is as well an art. After reading this book, and also from my entourage, I openly agree that it does massively contribute to the self-esteem and personal satisfaction. No need for me to revisit the details, but it is biological; or the least chemical - if the hormones are active enough. Of course, there is much more to life than just sex. But, if I compartmentalise matters properly, and responsibly point the finger on the contents of this book, we are talking about The Game here; and, like the book so rightfully begins "Don't hate the player, hate the game". Pondering about the book now, I have absolutely loved Neil Strauss' candid way of sharing the crazy experiences he has been through as a Pickup Artist. My two favourite moments from the book are, his encounters with Britney Spears and Courtney Love. I still have that cheeky smile when I think about that.Little did I know that, picking girls up, can be such a struggle for men. No, I was not aware about the constant torment or the inner battle that they could go through, really; and this too, not even for intercourse, but for a simple date! Funnily, I do admit that this book has opened my horizons for sure, because I have barely considered how it could be for the other. I have not had any reason to think about it either, but I am glad to have opened myself up to a new perspective.The rules of The Game demonstrated along the book such as "Neg"or "Sarge" were hilarious. Again, I can unfortunately find their power to exude successful pickups when I mix it to the psychology of things. It , however, leaves me thinking whether those rules would still apply now. I would like to question the extent to which they are timeless given the inclining number of social movements these days, where to put it bluntly, with the advent of social media, people have become overly sensitive and are offended as fast as light. I guess that I would not really know as I am passed the age for The Game. I am eager to hear your views though :)

This book is primarily about this dude Mystery, who is the host of a VH1 show The Pickup Artist, where he shows really socially inept guys how to pick up girls. This is the FUNNIEST BOOK in the history of mankind. If you are a computer geek of any kind, you will die laughing while reading this book.Mystery is a young computer nerd living with his parents in Toronto. He spends all day online posting to message boards about how he is awesome picking up girls, but when he's not posting online, he is playing computer games or looking at internet porn. To get out of the house, he starts giving seminars in picking up girls around the world from people who follow his posts on the internet. In some crazy world we live in, Mystery builds a whole real business out of doing this, gets out of his parents house, and after this book is over, actually gets his own reality TV show out of his internet posts. Today, Mystery's disciples charge $5000 a workshop to teach his method for picking up girls.If it wasn't real, you wouldn't believe it actually happened.READ THIS BOOK.

** spoiler alert ** The only reason this is not 3-stars is because those last few pages were simply so emotionally moving, gently revealing the author's views of the human condition. After everything the book has gone through (from worse to worse for the characters) it was a dramatic turn and caught me woefully off-guard. I like it so much that here it is. I mena, I also got to the end of the book (this part) on my birthday! I had started the book before I would have believed this was typical human biology. However during the course of reading the book I fell deeply in love with someone amazing and had... the.. exact... same... experience... and shock as the author. So taken together the timing that I got to reading this part of this particular book makes it perhaps one of the most memorable moments of my reading life. Note that the person crying was for most of the book considered one of the best pickup artists in the world.When I walked to the kitchen later that night to get a drink I saw Mystery nursing another cocktail in front of the TV. He was watching a video of Karate kid and crying. "I never had a Mr. Miyagi." He sobbed, wiping tears off his reddened cheeks. He was drunk. "My dad didn't teach me anything. All I wanted was a Mr. Miyagi." I suppose we were all searching for someone to teach us the moves we needed to win at life: the nightly code of conduct, the ways of the Alpha-male, that's why we found each other. But a sequence of manoeuvres and a system of behaviour would never fix what was broken inside. Nothing would fix what was broken inside. All we could do was embrace the damage.Lisa and I spent the next day together, and the day after that, and the day after that. I kept worrying that I was going to ruin it, that we were spending too much time together and that she was going to get tired of me. Rick H had always said: "give her the gift of missing you." But we couldn't seem to part. "You are so perfect for me," she said as she lay in my bed for the fourth night in a row. "I've never had sex with a guy I like this much before. I'm afraid I'll get attached." Beneath that tough exterior she was scared. All her push-pull wasn't a pre-planned psychological tactic. It was her heart warring with her head. Perhaps the reason she had been so reluctant to open up was that she was protecting something fragile inside. Like me she was afraid to actually feel something for someone else: to love, to be vulnerable, to give someone else control over her happiness and well-being. When I slept with all those other girls I just had sex with them once a night, and if I liked them enough a second time in the morning. But something amazing happened with Lisa when we had sex for the first time. After I had an orgasm it didn't go down. I did it with her a second time, it was still ready to go. We did it a third and fourth time that night and it never went soft. I couldn't understand it. My dick which I had thought was a completely mindless animal desperate to stick itself in any hole actually responded to emotion. It had feelings too. It wasn't just built up anticipation. It stayed up for three or four orgasms every time Lisa and I made love. We fucked in cars and alleys and restaurant bathrooms and in the vending machine room in a hotel hallway where a maintenance man caught us and tried to extort $20 from me. When I'd gone impotent in the bathroom with a porn star perhaps it didn't have anything to do with the whiskey. My body was responding to the lack of emotional foreplay. I neither cared about nor really desired her and I'm sure she felt the same. It was just entertainment. Sex with Lisa was not entertainment. It was not about validation and ego-gratification like all those pick-ups I'd been so proud of. It was about creating a vacuum where nothing else existed except the two of us and our passion. It made the rest of existence seem like a distraction. It's also terrifying to think had I been introduced to the pickup artist community at younger age that I likely would have bought right into it. It's kinda sad and bizarre reading this book and seeing the lives of people far older than me going through troubles in their dating life that I used to go through but now to which I see so many solutions that I now see as common-sense.Before anyone asks, I wish I could say I "just magically matured," but in reality I'm largely thankful for resources like the Mating Grounds podcast for covering the same ground this book covers with regards to the flaws of the pickup community, but also providing far more in-depth practical advice - which is grounded in the best science we have - when it comes to accomplishing your goals (whatever that might be) with regards to dating. I have no doubt I'd still be on a very sad self-isolating road to self-destruction if not for this empowering podcast.Oh, and it's all free:http://thematinggrounds.com/new-start...

Great story of rise and fall of a subculture.