The Hero’s Guide to Storming the Castle audiobook

The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle is packed with the same hilarity, adventure, and charm as its predecessor. Duty calls in the form of a rumor: An object of great power is poised to fall into the hands of evil. The League of Princes band together and set forth once more to brand their names in the history books -- or, in the tales sung by those befuddling bards who never seem to get their facts straight. The stakes are high: It all begins in Harmonia, where one prince's moment of distraction starts a chain of events that will force the whole League to tackle a perilous quest -- a quest during which both lives and pants will be lost. And the princes are as lovable as ever: "Why is Big Mamma a rude name?" Gustav asked. "It's factually accurate." "Oh, so you're a smart guy, eh?" Maude sneered. "Who are you calling smart?" Gustav growled. Duncan pulled out his flute. "Yes," he said in what he hoped was a sinister voice. "Prepare to hear the worst concerto ever composed for a wind instrument." Feisty Princesses, sharp-toothed eels, dangerous warlords, and a complicated device used to pull armpit hair await you in this dazzling sequel to The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom.

"When facing unbeatable odds, just think of yourself as unbeatably odd."--DunkinVolume two of Healy’s tween story, where, guess what, the League of Princes storm the castle to free Liam who was imprisoned there by Briar Rose. The idea in this time of postmodern meta-reflection about narrative, is that every story we ever read while growing up about all the Prince Charmings and Princesses was romanticized lies. So who is writing the realistic version of all these romances? The most bumbling one, Dunkin. And what we are left with are hilariously bumbling, every day human beings, most of them really likable. And those assumptions you make about happily ever afters and Finding The Right One? Well, it turns out to be as complicated for them as it is for the rest of us. Liam, Ella, and Frederic's relationship? Liam who is with Briar Rose likes Ella and Frederic who is with Ella doesn't think he's good enough for her. Frederic likes Rapunzel, but maybe just for friends. This volume maybe has perhaps fewer guffaws as the first volume, but there is certainly laugh-aloud humor on every page. We just have to take a little time get to know the characters, and there’s a lot of them, and we need to rescue Liam. We have this adventure action to get done. Key stuff that figures in: A magical gemstones, the Sword of Erinthia, bladejaw eels, two evil warlords --one of them, Deeb Rauber, an eleven year old boy (oh, those are the WORST villains, because you get evil AND nosepicking and corny jokes). Fun word play abounds: sparzle, string-chi, Humperdinck. Oh, and it ends with a cliff-hanger. You don’t have to be a tween to love Branson Pinchot reading this book. He’s terrific. So good. And in this story you get to reflect on the complex meaning of things like love and hero, though double-dipped in slapstick. Bravo, I say, Mr. Healy. I guess maybe it is more like 4.5 because this high level of hilarity and silliness, how long can I take it? But I thought before I started this that I would be sick of it, that it would achieve maxed-out groan level, but it has not yet happened.Started in a car on the way to Iowa, finished in a car on the way to Stevens Point, Wisconsin for a reunion. Splash!

Christopher Healy is the Groucho Marx of fractured fairy tales. His first book, "A Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom," was hysterical - sometimes at the expense of the plot - but this one strikes the right balance with more depth, solid plot, and a fun cliff hanger ending. Healy takes the delicate business of writing children's comedy and makes it a hoot for children and adults alike. You need to set aside your "doohickeys and dingle-dangles" and snort-laugh as the League of Princes reunite in order to rescue Liam who has been kidnapped by Briar Rose. Don't worry, the Princes Charming bumble plans that would do Elmer Fudd proud as their adventure leads them to recover the Sword of Erinthia from the Bandit King causing all sorts of "sparzle" or unpredictable twists and turns in the plot. A steady beat of wordplay highlights Healy's forte for clever dialogue, asides, and epigraph's that make for laugh out loud passages while poking fun at the hero concept. I like the made-up word "sparzle" because I can use it when I have writer's block. I"m sure you'll find your own word favorites. Perhaps you'll latch onto, "flash-fried" or "tchotchkes" or "String-Chi" or "Hwah!" Take your pick. If you liked book one, I guarantee that you'll love book 2. If not, call me "Humperdinck." (Did you know he wrote the opera, Hansel and Gretel in 1893?) "Huzzah!"Prince Duncan is writing his book "The Hero's Guide to Being a Hero." He's not an ordinary hero being under five feet tall, an animal whisperer, and clod. The epigraphs before each chapter have the simple-minded Duncan making ridiculous statements that are either frivolous or bad advice to the "path to hero-hood." There are epigraphs that play on words and a few others from the ancient tome of Darian wisdom that gives villains mostly good advice on the path to power with some silly twist. Duncan gives useless advice such as a hero leaves nothing to fate which is why he or she must always have a coin to flip. The Darian book of wisdom stresses the importance of inducing terror in visitors down to a welcome mat that will haunt nightmares. Some epigraphs preface the chapter such as this Darian one, "They say laughter is the best medicine. Destroy the clowns!" The main theme of the book can be found in this hero epigraph, "When facing unbeatable odds, just think of yourself as unbeatably odd." I'd say that sums up not only Duncan, but everyone in the oddball League of Princes.Duncan and Snow are perhaps the nerdiest couple in this book. Duncan tries to high five Gustav and accidentally slaps him in the face during a pep talk. "I'm just going to pretend that didn't happen," Gustav said. "Go, B Team!" Slapstick abounds like in this dialogue sequence: "'Dunky?' Snow called as she looked around anxiously. 'Where are you Dunky?' 'I am sorry, miss, but your donkey will have to wait,' Vero [a bad guy] said." Even though the two are hopeless ding-dongs, their friends truly care about them and they do make a difference in the mission's outcome. I like the subtle message of respecting others no matter how different they are from what's considered normal. Duncan's strange habit of naming animals is worked into the plot too. When Liam asks what JJDG stands for Duncan shouts, "Jimmy John Digglesford Garbenflarben!" (Next time I see a Jimmy John's commercial I'm going to yell the tongue twister, "Digglesford Garbenflarben!") When he names a rat, King Moonracer, it becomes his friend and chews his ropes when he's captured. I admire how Healy creates cartoonish characters that are endearing and doofy at the same time; plus their internal changes give them depth. Duncan learns to embrace himself and work with Snow when they storm the castle. He also realizes that all of his epigraphs aren't true so he needs to rewrite his book on heroes. He tells Snow that she's the "hero" at the end of this story. I can't wait to see the goofy epigraphs Healy creates in his next book. Beneath the silliness there are messages of teamwork, courage, and acceptance. *Spoiler alert*Liam, Ella, and Frederic's relationship is more complex. Liam is interested in Ella who is very much like him and Frederic doesn't think he's good enough for Ella even though they are engaged. Frederic is interested in Rapunzel, but it isn't clear if he wants more than friendship. This will probably be explored in book 3. When Liam hurts Frederic's feelings by not listening to his ideas, Frederic storms off determined to execute his idea. Ella is stuck with Liam and she's miffed at how he treated Frederic. Liam struggles with the definition of a hero and represents the classic hero for the most part. His problem is he is egocentric and enjoys the power that comes from leading others. He becomes so used to telling people what to do that he doesn't listen to others, which prevents all of the princes working together as a strong team. Liam doesn't particularly respect Frederic's opinion because he's a sissy and Liam is interested in Ella. In the end, his actions hurt all of them and he must either change or lose his position as leader. When he finds out what his dad did to him as a child he loses his self-confidence and isn't even sure what defines a hero. He makes peace with Frederic and changes, but he still doesn't quite get the hero gig as evidenced by the dialogue he and Briar Rose have at the end.Briar Rose is the perfect foil to Liam and there is more depth to both characters than implied from their initial appearance in the story. Both grew up with the adulation of the kingdom's citizens and are used to getting their own way. Liam has lost his peoples' love for him, but has the respect of his friends. Briar realizes on her adventure that she wants respect, companionship, and to do the right thing so she can have someone who cares about her; a lesson Liam learned in the first book. Ironically, Liam doesn't understand this because he's too wrapped up in his own feelings and doesn't realize he's like Briar in so many ways. Frederic and Ella still don't seem sure about each other and at the end when it looks like they have reached an understanding about their differences, Frederic's father messes things up telling Ella to leave his castle because she keeps leading her son off on dangerous adventures. In the first book, Frederic has to face his fears. In this book he has to embrace who he is as a person and find the courage to stand up to his overprotective father. Frederic is growing up into an independent person who realizes that his father's unreasonable protectiveness is from Frederic's mother dying on a similar adventure when Frederic was young.Gustav is still the courageous, cynical, not-to-smart brawny guy, who changes in that he has to learn to get out from the shadows of his sixteen successful brothers and find his own identity. When he decides to be a hero by helping people, it is evident that Rapunzel, the healer, has been his literary foil. He keeps messing up the sword-stealing mission by not knowing the meaning of words. In a laugh-till-you-can't-breathe part where he and Duncan have to talk to a bard to get critical information, Gustav argues with Duncan about how to say and spell, "Jeopardous Jade Djinn Gem (JJDG)" which Gustav pronounces, "Jepperjajinjam" and insists he heard only J's. When Duncan explains the D in djinn is silent he gives the snarky reply, "Stupid language." Later Liam and Ella survey how Gustav destroyed most of the bard's bedroom and Liam scolds him that they needed to proceed "subtly." Gustav insists he did. "Everything's quiet, the bard suspects nothing, and then subtly-BOOM!-we attack." "Gustav?" Duncan said gently. "I think you were thinking of 'suddenly.'" Gustav is the king of name-calling such as calling Lila, "Duchess Dictionary" to which she dryly responds "I think you mean 'Thesaurus.'" He was correcting Lila that Duncan was "fortunate" not "lucky." Let me punt you a string of Gustav's names that point out characteristics in others: Mr. Mini-Cape, Captain Specific, Mount High-Hair, Professor Textbook, Awful Clawful, Lady Twig-Arms, Hairy Scary, Capey, Tassels, Blondie, Furface, Goldilocks, Masked Marvel, and more.The villains are a contrast in characters too. Deeb Rauber is the eleven-year-old Bandit King who punishes his flunkies by making them go "through the spanking machine." He's a villain that you won't find anywhere; a kid whose loyal followers are adults and whose diet is the candy pyramid. What person wouldn't love that? Don't call attention to Deeb's age or size. He's the kind of person that punishes friends and foes alike by dunking them in a vats of caramel sauce. The person that met this fate was talking about a "kid" goat, but Deeb is a dweeb who thought he was being called a name. In contrast to Deeb's innocence and self-centeredness, is the nasty Warlord of Darian. When Deeb invites the brutal Warlord Lord Rundark to his castle, Lord Rundark is amused, "We shall go. It is always fun to kill a novice king." Deeb is fascinated by Lord Rundark and doesn't realize how dangerous he is while Lord Rundark is fascinated that a young boy can command the loyalty of adults. The two try to thwart each others plans and create an interesting contrast between childhood innocence and maturity. The characters are one-dimensional but I did wonder if Rundark's statement that his "thirst for knowledge" was as great as blood might be further explored making him more multifarious. It isn't elaborated on in this book, but I hope it will play a part in the next book. I prefer a good bite out of a complex villain.Healy is a maestro with words, poking fun at conventions, and describing colorful characters. Fairy tales have an oral tradition as exemplified in the bards or minstrels in the kingdoms who change stories to fit their audiences. This reflects the changing history of fairy tales that have evolved from an adult to child audience that is explained in the "Norton Anthology of Children's Literature." The bard, Reynaldo, changes the League of Princes adventures and name to make them more entertaining and improve the cadence and rhythm of a song (just like Healy has fractured several original fairy tales). When Gustav and Duncan break into the Reynaldo's room, he jumps into song: "Listen dear hearts to a tale most upsetting, four bumbling Prince Charmings who destroyed a wedding-" "Not that song!" Gustav growled. "And it's Princes Charming," Duncan added pointedly. "How many times do I have to remind people of that?" "But Princes Charming just sounds wrong," Reynaldo said. "No one would request my songs if I used stiff grammar like that." Not only do the metafictional elements make the story more interesting, but the anachronistic use of Internet slang such as Briar using, "JJDG," in her journal was a stitch as well. As an adult I laughed at this because I remember my daughter first using Instant Messaging abbreviations and going, "Huh? What's LOL mean?" And how can you not "sparzle" at his descriptions of characters such as Redshirt, "a thick-necked barbarian with a penchant for licking the edge of his ax." Or Maude, the big troll who was the villain in "Jack and the Giant Beanstalk" and has teeth like tombstones and eyebrows like untrimmed hedges. "Entire families could get lost in her forest of spiky gray hair."The Gray Phantom character is a clever spoof on Grimm's fairy tale, "The Valiant Little Tailor." In Grimm's tale the tailor kills seven flies and goes out to seek his fortune. He makes a flashy belt that says, "Seven at One Blow" and everyone thinks he killed seven men with one blow. He uses his cunning to trick others and eventually marries the king's daughter. She hears him mumbling he's a tailor and he is chased out of the kingdom because he's a commoner. In Healy's tale, "The Tailor" adopts the alias "The Gray Phantom," after the Bandit King won't let him be a part of his crew because his weapon is using thread, which is just as silly as killing seven flies. The princes call the Tailor's skill, "String-Chi," because he's so good at disabling his enemies by tying them up. He has fooled them into thinking he is on their side and they have no clue that he is the Gray Phantom. Like Grimm's tailor, he is deceptive and cunning. At the end String-Man (Gustav is rubbing off on me) meets a more gruesome end than in Grimm's story which I thought was funny because Grimm's original stories are known for their violence versus the conventionalized Disney fairy tale versions seen today. Not that this is a Disney-style fairy. Oof! It's more in the vein of "The Stinky cheese man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales," by John Scieska.Healy creates strong, empowered females that help balance the male characters. Below the surface humor is the subtle message to rethink old-fashioned views on gender and power. Ella knows her own mind and has amazing sword skills. We learn that Frederic's mom was an athletic person with an adventurous spirit. Snow keeps Duncan from getting lost and is encouraging. She's into frilly clothes, but so is her husband. Snow has the best throwing arm in the kingdom which in the end saves all of them from dying or being controlled by the Warlord. Troll Maude likes to crush things and contemplates squashing Gustav when he calls her "Big Mamma." Usually male trolls are presented like her. Kind Rapunzel is wise and saves many lives, not to mention, doling out advice to Gustav regarding why he's unhappy. Briar Rose is a champion at manipulating people, but wonders what it would be like to have friends.This basketful of supporting female characters helps bring some normalcy to the kooky male characters. Okay that's not completely true. Troll Maude is a bit extreme. Just don't expect any stereotypical characters in this tale.So folks, read this book for it's "sparzle." (or "sparkle" if you are an automatic dictionary). Or read this book for its "rampage-and-wanton-destruction" type troll that can be found in Maude. Or read this book to study foils, wordplay, irony, epigraphs, characters, and fairy tale twists. Or read this book to write a glorious paper that explores the oral traditions of fairy tales and their function in cultural socialization processes. Just kidding. Or read this book for a good belly laugh. Do keep in mind that below all the silliness is a great story that challenges readers to examine their own lives and decide how they want to live through the choices they make each day. This is what shapes people of character. People who don't need capes to be called, "heroes."

My Thoughts: Another fantastic and funny book in this great middle grade series. I loved The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom, so I was super excited to get my hands on the sequel, and it did not disappoint. The story was super fun with everyone's favorite princes out to save the day in their own particular ways. I was so excited to read more of The League of Princes. Each and every prince has a special place in my heart and they always cause a good laugh. I loved how the story played out and being able to spend more time with all the characters from the first book.I love Christopher Healy's humor, writing, and story. There was a particular scene involving the "dwarfs" and Duncan that still makes me chuckle. I will only say that it involves a reenactment of past adventures and I could just picture and hear it in my head. I love the humor of this series, such fun.I also want to appreciate the beauty of Todd Harris's illustrations. His pictures are perfect representations of this quirky cast of characters and really help bring this book to life. It was a smart decision to bring Todd Harris into this project.Prince Liam, Frederic, Duncan, and Gustav have earned a place in my bookish heart. I love them and their adventures and can't wait to see what they get up to next. They are gonna have to watch themselves with this new enemy. I also appreciate how Healy made my feelings for Briar Rose change. I just can't seem to hate her as much.I recommend this series to anybody searching for a sweet story and a good laugh. I

The League of Princes gets even more charming in this sequel, in which the awful Briar Rose enlists their aid in stealing something from Deeb Rauber, King of Thieves!These books are so delightful, and I was laughing helplessly over some of it, and also wondering if a lot of the humor isn't lost on the "target audience." For instance: Deeb Rauber . . . Dieb is German for thief, and Rauber is German for robber. Duncan names a rat King Moonracer, which is the name of the king of the Island of Misfit Toys in Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. And there's just lots of little things like that going on, along with the bigger adventure, which is just as fun and zippy. This adds the complication of Ella and Liam being more perfectly suited than Ella and Frederick, while Frederick and Rapunzel make a strong connection. I also like the fact that, even though the book is very innocent and there's nothing inappropriate at all, several of the characters are married, as they would be at the end of their fairy tales, right? It reminds me of the kids' books of my childhood, like Mr. Wilmer or Mr. Popper's Penguins, when you had adult characters who were just as relatable and engaging as child-aged characters. Super excited for the next one!

Another great installment in the League of Princes series! This time around we see a whole new side to some of our beloved princes and princesses. I was so intrigued by the 'other side' of Briar Rose and Liam. I can't tell you much, but I can say there are some definite surprises in store for you, dear reader. What I really enjoyed in The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle were the new characters. The villains were extra vile and the sidekicks were extra punchy. (I love Mr. Troll!) The ending had a nice surprise that sets the stage perfectly for the next book. I also really enjoyed watching some of the princes grow. Liam learned that he is not perfect, and Frederic learned he has strengths. Duncan is still a little 'off' but such a delight. I really think that he and Snow White are my favorites. If you're wondering what you can expect in The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle, that's simple. You can expect mischief and mayhem of the highest quality. You can also expect uproarious laughter and strange looks from bystanders (because you will laugh out loud). Finally, though, you can expect an excellent adventure full of surprises that will not disappoint.

Golly day these books are so enjoyable! Maybe not as memorable as the first read, BUT still love this series :)

Originally posted at Small ReviewIs it as good as the first?Look, the first book left some pretty big shoes to fill. I had every confidence that Christopher Healy wouldn't let me down, but I'll be honest, I was a little worried. It's not that I had any real reason to worry. It's just that, well, when a book is SO good, it's kinda hard for a sequel to live up to that.But don't worry, because The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle totally lives up to all my internal hype. I keep almost wanting to say it's better than the first book, but then I remember how awesome the first book was and I think no, no, it can't be better (but maybe it is a little better. Or, no, ahm...agh I'm not good with ranking things.)So, yeah, I'm going to go with: Yes, it is definitely as good as the first.(and maybe even a little better.)Are all my favorite characters back?YES! Plus a few new ones who are now also favorites.And not only are they back, but they're just as great as they were in the first book. Maybe better, since there's all sorts of character growth going on.Well, Liam is a little less great than the first book but that's because he's doing hero-soul-searching and you know me and issues. I just wanted him to be quiet, put on his cape, and get down to the mission. Still, he's not that bad.But his sister Lila? SHE was beyond awesome. Talk about a plucky, intrepid character! She also has a non-romantic relationship developing with another character that made me want to go around hugging puppies every time it came up. It's absolutely wonderful.Also, it has great spinoff fodder (hint, hint, Mr. Healy...) Then there's Briar, who was annoying in the first book (in a good way) but is downright BAD in the second book. She's fantastic! She totally revels in her villainous ways but I can't help wanting to invite her to a sleepover party anyway. One thing is for sure, we would definitely have fun. And pageantry (which is a plus, I think). Her total hate-turned love flirting with Gustav is also a blast to read. They're two characters who are funny and great on their own, but enhance the second they're put together. But don't think romance is a big thing. It's there for sure, and the hints from the first book at switching up the couples are developed more (YAY!) but romance still takes a back seat to the humorous action.I also have to note how Frederic never failed to make me laugh out loud. I'm a sucker for a good pun, and the way Frederic congratulates the other characters for their unintentional puns just about made my day. While it's insanely hard to pick a single favorite character among all the awesome characters in this book, I think Frederic may just be my favoritest favorite. Four hundred ninety six pages is a LONG bookAnd I don't do well with long books. It's just, all those pages! Long books leave a lot of room for boring stuff, and I really don't like reading about boring stuff.Thankfully, Christopher Healy doesn't write about boring stuff (and if he did, I guarantee he'd find a way to write it funny). The plot is peppered with all sorts of things like questing, mystery solving, battling, sneaking in castles, taking over kingdoms, plotting, scheming, and a bank-heist-type escapade to steal a sword (the presence of swords adds auto points). Plus, more.Every bit is super, laugh-out-loud funny. I'm not really big on quoting things, but The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle makes me want to start quoting. I might have annoyed my husband (!!) once or twice or ten or so times reading bits out loud or just shoving the book at him and telling him to read the page I had open. It's that quotable.Do you have to read the first book? Or the third?I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to read the first or third books, but, yes, The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle can be read pretty well as a standalone.As for the first book, their adventures are referenced for sure, but it's pretty easy to get the gist of what happened without totally spoiling book one or leaving the reader lost in book two. So if you only have book two in your hands, go ahead and start reading. Just make sure to track down book one later on (because it's so worth it).   And as for book three, there is definite Set Up going on at the end (villains cackling, heroes regrouping, travel plans established) but no one is left in peril or anything like that. So if you're worried about not starting the series until the third book is published and the series is complete, don't be. I'm a total proponent of that approach, but in this case I don't think it's necessary at all. Jump in. Bottom line Christopher Healy was an auto-buy author after The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom and he's still solidly an auto-buy author. I can't stop raving about this fantastic series and book-pushering it on everyone I know. Explanation of rating system: Star Rating Key Originally posted at Small Review

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