What Matters Most audiobook

I really thought I would just "browse" through this, but I ended up zipping through this and taking photos of many of the pages, for future reference. I already have the usual stuff - will, living wills, insurance, info. about my bank accounts, etc, but as I learned from this book, there are other things to consider, as well. Does someone in your family or a close friend know your username & password(s) for things such as your laptop, tablet, smartphone? What about email? Social Media apps? Online memberships? Have you told your "person" how to contact your doctors? lawyers? insurance agent? credit card companies?Think about every single thing that you have that requires a contact or a username & password - It's mind boggling! Besides the items I listed above, think about your digital access - TV, movies, magazines, music, books ... Do you game? What about online auctions / shopping?Are you a member of a coupon club? Airline / Hotel Rewards? Digital Dollars? Do you do anything with password management?These things can be your "little" secret, for now, but eventually, someone needs to know all of this information, so you don't continue to be charged for x account or they can shut down your social media account, if this is your desire. Wow!

Mostly memoir, which I knew and was looking forward to listening to. Cried a lot even though the author’s widow journey was different than mine. Laughed too… there are just funny/dark things that you’ll get once you’re living with heavy grief.After dealing with the immediate secondary-loss shitstorm* following a sudden, catastrophic loss, I want all my ducks in a row for my kids when I die. The info and checklists in this book are excellent. * Wills, probate, insurance, lost passwords, mystery keys, the heartbreak of no final goodbyes, autopsy vs organ donor decisions w/ almost no time to consider, having to choose a funeral home minutes after the death, regrets/mistakes made during the rushed funeral planning, extended fam wanting different things, etc, etc, etc, etcccccc. Recommend even if (especially if) you haven’t lost someone close to you yet. Read it now and get your shit together to alleviate some of your own stress when your spouse, parent, or child dies before you… and alleviate your loved ones’ stress if you’re the one that dies first. Not a fun read, but a necessary one.

When this book first came out a couple of years ago I read a review that sounded interesting, and so I got a copy. But then, with how much I have to read for work, I didn't get around to it. But I kept thinking about it. And the last few months, my husband and I have been working with a financial consultant who has been very strongly encouraging us to do things like write a will, a living will, get life insurance, and all that stuff. Things I know I've been needing to do for a very long time, but which feel both postponable and really taxing. I did want to at least get a start on one of those long-term tasks and I had some free time last weekend for reading, and my uncle recently died so that also made me think more seriously about these topics, so I finally picked it up. Man, if I had known what this book encompassed, I would have read it the day it came out! It's hard for me to think of a book that is more Carin-book-crack than this book!I had thought it was going to be a mostly dry series of chapters on each of these tasks, hopefully with some checklists, and I was mostly just hoping there would be decent explanations of things like why get term life insurance and what is an annuity. I knew the author had been inspired to write it after the sudden death of her husband left her unprepared, but I thought that would be covered in the preface. Instead, this book is 80% memoir about his accident (he was biking and was hit by a car), the horrendous week while he was in the hospital in a coma, the heart-wrenching decision for Chanel to remove life support, and the aftermath when she couldn't concentrate to work full time (she'd been freelancing before his death so there wasn't exactly a job to go back to--she'd have had to scramble for gigs etc.), and she couldn't afford their house by herself, and she was having to figure out how to explain to their five-year-old son about his father's death, while dealing with probate. Interspersed throughout are checklists and concrete things to do. The last 15% of the book is also a series of checklists. I can't recall ever having done this before but I preloaded my bookmark with post-its as I knew I'd want to mark some pages to refer back to (and I did!).Boy, the accident was horrible, and the doctors were pretty astonished that Jose even made it to the hospital alive (no one with these injuries ever had before), and Chanel certainly had a robust support system, even including both a social worker who had worked in that hospital in the past and a counselor. But she was still completely unprepared. Most frustratingly, she and Jose had written wills, YEARS before, but had never bothered to sign them and get them notarized. (Similarly, my husband and I have an excuse--most of these documents are state-specific and since we're moving to Maryland next year the plan is just to do them there.) So come for the schadenfreude and rubber-necking, but stay for the lists of shit you have got to do. By the end of this book, I had made sure my husband was set up as my emergency person in LastPass to get my passwords, and I also made an In Case of Emergency file with info on contacting my company's HR, my boss, my iPhone passcode, and photocopies of my passport, birth certificate, and our marriage certificate. Now my husband has all that as the very first file in his file cabinet, and if something horrid were to happen to me, he wouldn't be as caught off guard as Chanel. And Jordan and I had a conversation about what we'd consider to be the minimum quality of life we'd want to stick around for and ours are different. And I am wondering if we can go ahead and do those documents for Maryland now, and not wait. We certainly don't need to wait on the life and umbrella insurances. Their priority is much higher on the To Do list. And this is one book I'll be highly recommending, but not giving away. (I give away 99.9% of books that I read.) I'll keep it as a reference at least until I have 100% of the paperwork done. I'm terribly sorry that Ms. Reynolds had to go through this trauma and loss, but I am so grateful for the rest of us that she's chosen to share her life lessons and point us down a path to a better outcome, financially if not medically. Everyone should read this book.

This book is hard to categorize (and occasionally hard to follow). Reading this the week my dad died was pretty on the nose. It’s billed as a book about getting your financial and legal poop in a group but it is equally a memoir about her own traumatic experience, and advice about how to help when someone is grieving (this part is especially good, trust me). If you’re looking for a manual about wills, POA, etc, you’re likely to find yourself aggravated with a lot of extraneous story-telling, but I personally found it compelling as a whole package.

Good book that makes a compelling case for taking care of legal matters for every individual.I only take issue with the veracity with which she advocated for a living will. A health care power of attorney that designates a person to advocate for another individual is far more powerful.The book is so readable and the story is heart breaking.

I was in tears almost every 50 pages of the first half of this book. But then I couldn't finish the 2nd half bc of vacations and had to listen to the rest on audiobook. It definitely had a different vibe. So much so that I would highly rec you NOT listen to this book. Only read it. I may actually reread it soon just so I can finish it the way I wanted to, bc the audio version really didn't do it for me. The VO's tone was so matter of fact and not a hint of remorse or sadness or anything. Chanel's experience is so emotional and raw, even with so many years past it I got the sense that she is still very much in it every single day. As I can only imagine anyone dealing with such a traumatic blow would be. This is a smart woman who lived just like most of us--unprepared. I have followed her for years now and it's the reason why I'm currently printing out my upteenth ICE papers for my husband and mom to review. I'm sure there's a simplier way, but right now just having all our info in Google docs is my way of keeping my shit together. I'm always amazed that there are parents who don't have wills, don't have life insurance, or so many other things--but then I also understand that sometimes life just sneaks up on you and you always plan to do something sometime...and then bing, bang, boom sometimes hits you right in the face. To anyone reading this who hasn't gotten their shit together, please stop what you're doing right now and get this book or check out her site. It's so important. Not just for your sanity and well-being, but for your whole family (whether you have kids or not).Edit: Finally reading the end bc I didn't like how the audio version treated this well-written book. I'm glad I am...it's already exactly how I remembered, while being helpful to my personal future of getting shit together.Finished the 2nd time around and yeah, don't do the audiobook. It's not nearly as impactful. I almost shed a tear reading the acknowledgements! Her words are better read in your head than out loud by someone who is not her. Also, if I haven't said this enough...GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! Think your spouse can't get hit by a car? Does anyone in your family ride a bike in a city? Do you know anyone who hasn't experienced death? Come on, people! Get your wills already. Get your finances in order already. Get your passwords to your phone in a doc already. It'll take you a month from your life, a little here and a little there. Make a date out of it and go to a coffee shop with your loved one and talk about death...romantic, I know--but vital. Do you want the added stress of not knowing if your spouse has life insurance if/when s/he dies? The only stress you'll be able to handle is the stress of dealing with the death--anything more is way too much to deal with. Don't be silly. Turn off the Netflix and just get this important life stuff done. Please. Please!

This book is a guide for dealing with the technical side of death. In the event of a crisis, here are some of the take-aways:1. create a plan for what to do with the kids2. call one or two main people and pick one of them to make the calls to the rest of the people 3. let that point person know to remind others that all calls and texts/well wishes will go through them and they will give the updates and not to contact me. 4. At a time of crisis she recommends “Save your energy, don’t do anything that isn’t helpful or necessary.” 5. Know your life insurance number/company informationHelpful things a friend can offer to do: 1. kids need to be fed/dropped off to appointments 2. dishes 3. laundry 4. pet care 5. housecleaning 6. food/grocery delivery 7. Water plants8. Suggest researching grief resources9. Schedule walks with your friend to get out of the house 10. Send a “thinking of you” on every anniversary 11. Take the kids to the movies/park. 12. Arrange or offer home repair 13. Book and pay for a massage. 14. Gather and sort mail 15. Babysit/Do homework with kids 16. Keep showing up, grief does not end. 17. Make phone calls for 18. Come over and cook. Things to go over about a service for you or a loved one: 1. What kind of service would be most meaningful to the person who has died? 2. What would be the most meaningful to those who are grieving? 3. What type of service? 4. Location? 5. Attendees- how to notify people?Things to figure out with a spouse1. Life insurance info. 2. Go over above about service3. Make a will and put it somewhere safe 4. go over bills, passwords, link all credit cards together so the auto pay bills can keep going 5. Budget/put everything on one credit card to make it easier to track everything 4. “$33 billion in unclaimed assets is being held by state treasuries and government agencies.” “Anyone who has had a sucky credit score knows the pain it causes-you can get turned down for a home or car loan, your rental application goes to the bottom of the pile, and at the very least, you have to pay a lot more in interest in credit cards and even in car-insurance premiums.” The executor should notify the 3 big credit- reporting agencies: equifax, experience and trans union.Trigger warning: One of my clients’ husband was riding his bike and an older person blew through a red light. It left him paralyzed. His wife and daughter slowly started inching away from him when his negative mindset made him even more disgruntled and negative after the accident. He ended up raising the money for a new electric chair and then drove it into the river and killed himself. This is a true story, you can’t make this shit up. Crap can happen to anyone. Having a plan in place can ease some of the burden of the randomness of life. Reading this book makes me feel better about death and about being able to be a better friend to someone who is going through grief. I’m so glad this book was written.

Create a cell list of emergency contacts in your favoritesFill in your phone's "in case of emergency" (ICE)info/default emergency settingsICE plan with family"We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart." --Pema Chodron"The beneficiary beats the will.""How alive can I be?How much better can I get?What is most important to me?What is unacceptable?How do I describe being able to meaningfully engage in the world?How do I define my quality of life now?What does home look like now?""Did I want to sell the house? Yes.Did I have some apprehension that I might regret it in the future? Yes.Should I let doubt and possible future regret stop me from moving forward the best way I know how, with the information I have right now? No! God, no."chanelreynolds.com

This book is part memoir of the author losing her husband suddenly, and part a guide to preparing for your own death so that your family isn't scrambling to figure everything out. I think this is especially good for people with spouses and/or children, but for anyone, it raises the questions of what you should put in place in the event that you die or even, if you're incapacitated. Does someone have the passcode to your phone? What do you define as quality of life? Do you have a list of all of your accounts and financial documents? Are beneficiaries set up on each of your accounts, and are they up to date? It's a tough set of things to think about, but as she says more than once in the book, the actually doing of the things isn't that difficult.

Chanel Reynolds' story might be both the most difficult and the most important book you ever read. With unflinching honesty and raw emotion, she details what happens after her husband is fatally injured in a bicycle accident. She finds they hadn't adequately planned for a worst case scenario and that made the aftermath more complicated then it should have been. Since his death, she's made it her mission to help others be better prepared. The book includes checklists and vital information about the conversations, decisions, and legal paperwork you need in place if (or when) the worst happens. FYI: the book contains profanity, graphic medical descriptions, heart wrenching emotion and the kick-in-the-butt you may need to finally get that paperwork done.

Although I found some of the use of profanity to be ineffective and diminish the author's writing this is a powerful book for those who need a swift kick to get going on their financial/estate planning. In a family or couple, one is going to die before another in all likelihood. Families with children do not have the time to contemplate many of the things she discusses in her book but her story will convince you to make the time and put it in line above other things on your list. The author comes from a privileged background and it was a jolt for her to lose her husband in a bike accident and to be suddenly thrust into the role of single mother. She was fortunate to have means and friends who were willing to show up and help her in this rough time but the emotions and stress come in any socioeconomic strata.Much of this book is her story that illustrates the emotions and frustrations one can feel if they are not prepared for what may come next or how these end-of-life things are handled. Our culture is divorced from end of life and is not serving us well. We expect miracles from medicine and doctors who feel they are failures if they can't save a life, no matter what the quality of life may be afterwards.Reynolds takes her readers through her experiences and details things many will not have thought about. I felt the book could have been better edited and polished in places but such is the nature of the publishing business these days. This is an important book that many people with young chidlren who don't have the time should read and act upon. A long wait list at the library should tell you how important a topic this book tackles.

Description of her husbands death in accident, surgery and not waking up from coma - deeply traumatizing account, but she'd be one advocate everyone should have in their corner. Advice on what kind of papers and procedures to have in place as foresight. Her intelligence, spirit and strong social network give her clear insights on course of grief pictured in the tattoos she got: "Breathe-you're Alive", a wave as symbol of grief washing over her periodically even years later, the fish diving deep where the waters are calmer, and a sun as reminder of warmth and life.