The Dangerous Art of Blending In audiobook

I spent the entire afternoon reading this and it really broke my heart. This book is brutal and devastating. This book is definitely not for everyone, and you can see that by looking through some of the other reviews, but it spoke to me and made me feel deeply.

Favorite book of 2018 ✨

Many thanks to HarperTeen for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest reviewI both loved and hated this. I think that this type of story needs to be shared so as to stop others like it from happening. That said, it always breaks my heart to see young people, albeit fictional people, being abused and harmed in this way. I just wanted to step in and brutally murder Evan's mom (Justifiable homocide is a thing, right?) and send him off to his own gay palace. All in all, this book broke my heart and then mended it just to break it again.| Goodreads | Blog | Pinterest | LinkedIn | YouTube | Instagram

Such a beautiful book. My full review will be up on my booktube channel at http://Youtube.com/peterlikesbooks

This story is heartbreaking and sad. This story deals with some heavy issues such as physical and mental abuse, suicide, and coming out. This coming of age book deals with Evan who comes home from camp confused about his sexuality and what he wants in life. Evan's mother is a strict immigrant greek mother who wants him to be a good christian boy. Evan feels like he has no support from his family or from his friends. This story tugged at my heart and I feel like it should be read by everybody.

Tiene buen ritmo y me parece un intento valiente para poner sobre la mesa que la homofobia empieza siempre en casa, aunado, muchas veces a la religión. Una historia de autodescubrimiento y valentía.

The Dangerous Art of Blending in follows Evan Pano a seventeen year old boy who lives with his dad and strict, abusive mother. Evan is scared of his mother and uses drawing as his escape. Evan feels that he doesn't fit in and he wants to live his own life. When Evan discovers new feelings towards his best friend, Henry. Henry teaches him to look past all the terrible things his mother says and to find his voice and stand up for himself.I absolutely loved this book. I devoured it and couldn't put it down. I read all afternoon and had to force myself to get up and go to the bathroom. This book deals with a really tough topic about abuse. Evan'sr, Voula is quite abusive, she is very strict on religion and religious beliefs. She hits and yells at her son and invades his privacy and she forces his son to lie about the scars and bruises on his body from her abuse. Evan's dad is quiet and doesn't really no what to do about his wife. Instead of tackling he issue or talking to his wife he takes Evan out for doughnuts. Evan's mother made me feel very uncomfortable and mad so if you don't like to read about abuse I wouldn't recommend this book to you. Overall I loved it the message was really good. 4.25 stars.

The emotions I felt while reading this book... Evan was truly a main character that I cared about, rooted for, connected with, and wanted the best for. Despite the trauma he has endured, he is still a good person. Seeing his journey of growth made me so proud of him. The way that the book addressed the complex relationship that the LGBTQ community has had with organized religion was brutal, but also (unfortunately), incredibly accurate and honest. The amount of resiliency that Evan displayed was one of my favorite things about him. I loved watching his relationship with Henry grow, and how they overcame the barriers of hatred, self-doubt, and stigma together. The final scene at the end was such a heartwarming moment, and gave me some semblance of hope for their futures. Loved this book. A lot.

Books like this hit me right in the heart, because the stuff that happens in this book happens every day in real life. It might be happening in your own home, or your neighbours home, or your best friends home. Somewhere, someone right at this minute is struggling with their identity, or their sexuality, or acceptance from those who are supposed to love and protect them. The Dangerous Art of Blending In dealt with such a wide range of topics. All of them intertwined and impacted on the other. But I think this was the first time though that I had read a book that dealt with abuse from a mother. And I found that so hard to read. Your mother is supposed to love you, care for you, protect you. But Evan's mother does none of those things. She is physically abusive and verbally abusive. She is downright horrid! While she puts on a good show to outsiders, and portrays herself as the loving doting mother, behind closed doors things are very different. Not only was Evan dealing with the abuse of his mother, but also the lack of help from the adults who knew what was happening. How could you turn a blind eye to that? How could you not do everything in your power to offer protection and stop the abuse? My heart broke for him.While this book dealt with some really tough subject matters, there was also some really great things as well. Henry and his family were the shining light in this book, and I was so happy that Evan had them. They're loving and supportive, and everything that Evan's family isn't.When you get to the end of this book I highly recommend reading the author's note. It really packs a punch and adds a whole other layer to the story. You'll look at everything you've just finished reading in a whole new light.Thanks so much to the publisher for sending a copy my way for an honest review.

3.75/5 Stars Trigger warnings for homophobia, abuse, bullying.I think this was such a well-done debut novel. It was heartbreaking to read, but it's important to tell this kind of stories and these realities that unfortunately many people have to face every day. Evan, the main character, is abused, both mentally and physically, by his mother. His father knows what's going on but he doesn't do anything to really stop it. It was very hard to read their scenes, I'm not gonna lie. The relationship between the main character and Henry was sweet and tender. It was the ray of hope that Evan needed, his safe harbor, everything that his family couldn't be.I do believe that things were resolved a little too quickly and easily at the end, but other than that it was a very good read.

Pretty excited to get to post one of the first reviews for this wonderful book! Angelo has written something that is so impactful, heartbreaking and needed in our world (and on YA bookshelves). I cannot recommend this book more highly. It is so damn good.

A stunning debut! Just to get out of the way: This is not your "happy queer" book. Trigger warnings include child abuse (emotional & physical), homophobia & I'm including my own TW for complacency. Evan's father is aware of what's going on, but sadly, in like many cases of abuse, does nothing to stop it, & IMO actually causes it to escalate.THE DANGEROUS ART OF BLENDING IN was extremely difficult to read. I have a childhood background somewhat similar to Evan's & I've had my fair share of books dealing with these themes. It doesn't get any easier. But for some reason, this was sharper; the text more vibrant in my eyes. Over the years I've been able to distance myself enough to not get so easily affected by these types of novels (otherwise I wouldn't be reading them), but Evan's voice & perspective broke through that shell. The introspection & characterization of him in terms of his family life [specifically] makes for a powerful MC & one I'm sure many readers will find pieces of themselves in. It's true that there's not much going on here except for Evan's home life with a subplot of a romance between him & his best friend, Henry. Here's where it gets tricky. Henry is a pure example of a manipulator & this is a pure example of a toxic friendship that turns into a bad romance. Henry takes advantage of Evan, claiming that he is the one who wants to "save him", gets jealous of others who take Evan's attention, demands to put Evan in uncomfortable situations even after his feelings are clear, while of course claiming he loves him. Evan blurs the lines between intimacy & attachment; he has never been loved by anyone before, so when Henry says it to him he naturally believes it. The dynamic between these two is absolutely not okay & I wish it was expounded on because it breaks my heart thinking how many young readers are going to read this book, see the interactions & conclude that this is the only way someone will want you (especially those in Evan's position). Henry is never called out on his behavior & I'll admit, he plays the role so well I probably would have fallen for him, too. (It's here that the advantages of being older than the target audience & still recovering from my own toxic friendships come into play.) I won't go so far to say that it's irresponsible to do this as it coincides with the narrative, but the fact that this is never challenged really rubbed me the wrong way.Another thing that bothered me was Evan's mother is never corrected on her behavior either. She is given the easy way out & there is no solution. Thinking back to my child/tween years, I vividly recall tearing through my teacher's book bins, desperate to find a book with characters that were going through what I was. ("You have to tell a trusted adult", was all I would hear. But what about after? What about the whole process? Would my other family members be okay? Would I be okay? I wanted to be prepared & I wanted to hear firsthand from someone who actually went through -lived through- this shit.) Unfortunately I found no such book. Perhaps there are ones out there, but it wasn't available to me when I needed it the most. The agony of this makes me think long & hard about whether or not I'd recommend it. For most, it's not easy to just get out because 18 is still eons away. To have a novel this hard-hitting, I wish there would have been another option. I also think because the interactions with his mother are detailed & can be extremely upsetting, I'd be leery to give this to a teen who is currently going through this ordeal. It would be more effective in the aftermath period. On the other hand, I know there aren't enough books that will help these individuals, & it's quite possible this could be the catalyst to change someone's life, so my final advice would be to give with caution. This book is emotionally draining; you can tell that it's raw & was painful to write. This is an #ownvoices novel & I want to commend the author for sharing his story. Although I had major problems with the items mentioned above, I am still giving this 4 stars because the prose is compelling & the internal thoughts of Evan's guilt & attempting to compartmentalize his life is worth the price of admission alone. I am excited to see what else Surmelis has in store. *And if you do decide to give this a try, please stay safe. You are loved, no matter how much anyone tries to make you believe different.*

Actual rating: 4.5 Stars!--Man oh man. This was a hard one to read. It should be said that there are definitely trigger warnings for physical, emotional and verbal abuse found within this novel. The story was a beautiful one and it was an important story that needed to be told, but it was very difficult to get through.Stay tuned for a review coming soon!

How much damage can a single woman do? Domestic violence is not always committed by men alone, as this book clearly shows. It broke my heart to read how much a mother could despise and hate her own innocent child just because he's gay and not the perfectly religious son she so desperately wants.

There are two aspects to this book - one is Evan's relationship with his abusive mother, his pathologically passive father, his church and school classmates and job. The other is his developing romance with Henry. The first of those felt like a pretty real portrait of a teen who has faced both physical and emotional abuse since early childhood. His abuser - his mother - is, like so many, able to put on a happy family, perfect face to everyone outside their home. She's well liked, and considered a lovely person. The way that isolates and paralyzes Evan's ability to speak out about his home life, and the degree to which he has been gaslighted all his life, make his passivity understandable, if frustrating. This is a real-life issue, where it's hard to understand why someone stays with abuse, until you see the obstacles are not just the practical but the longterm psychological as well. His occasional yearning for the illusion of family and love that he gets in the good moments, and his concerns for his father, mirror the way children of abuse still have deep emotional attachment to their abusers. He's 17 here, but no, he's not "old enough to just tell someone or walk away." The romance feels a bit like a train wreck, though, and I'm not sure if that was intentional or not. Henry responds to and supports Evan, but also pushes him for more romance than he seems ready for, and doesn't seem to listen to him. His reactions to the realities of Evan's life are realistic for a certain type of teen boy, but are not the ones that seem the most helpful to finding Evan both the strength and safety that he needs. Henry wants to be Evan's hero, rather than helping him assemble a support system. Granted, Evan demands secrecy, but Henry doesn't seem to make half as much effort toward rescuing Evan, or giving him what he needs, as he does to getting romantically/sexually closer to him. (view spoiler)[When Henry decides to just go with his sister on a trip that he'd been planning with Evan since they were kids, the lack of empathy is astounding to me. (hide spoiler)] The risk of Evan going from abuse to a demanding romantic relationship aren't acknowledged, though the potential is there.Evan's relationship with his best friend Jeremy is another demonstration of his passivity. Jeremy is a jerk, and oblivious to everyone else. Evan uses him for cover and distraction, but never can trust him with anything real. It highlights his isolation, and also the total lack of any support system he might reach out for. Having said that, there's a lot of realism to how the teens interact as well. So if you can accept that Henry is a very flawed and sometimes self-centered plausible teen, and not everything Evan needs him to be, then the story reads as a believable account. There is progress and a positive ending, but all is not resolved. The author notes say the abuse and gay closet parts of this story are somewhat autobiographical, and there are moments that have a very realistic clarity. Content warnings for physical and psychological abuse, (view spoiler)[suicidal ideation, bullying, physical assault (hide spoiler)]

my heart reaches out to the author after reading the author's note at the end. can someone hug me. can someone hug the author. i'm not okay.before getting on with the book i would like to mention the trigger warnings: abuse in all forms, bullying, suicidal thoughts, homophobia1) being in a strict family isn't easy. sometimes it's sooooo toxic that you wanna get out of there to be healed. Evan's mother is such a filthy whore who does shitty things in the name of god/religion. i just want to hurt her for hurting her son sooo bad. both physically and verbally. i believe doing nothing is also another form of abuse. Evan's dad was trying sooo hard with his son. but you know what? IT ISN'T FUCKING ENOUGH. get the courage to do something about it, will you?2) bullying. that shit never stops. does it? i don't even want to waste my breath on those filthy rude motherfuckers.3) i just want to hug the poor kiddo. i want to protect him. i want to make him feel that there is a safe space other than his closeted room😭 come to me, mama will give you all the love you deserve. i've never been more prouder when he stood up for himself.I JUST CAN'T. I'M SO SAD RIGHT NOW.4) as i said in point 1. doing nothing is also another kind of abuse. that fucking pastor telling that his mother is doing it for his own good. fuck you mister. no god will ever tell to beat the shit out of someone.5) having a single person who sees you for who you are and what you are. that is such a bliss. i'm so glad that there is someone for evan😭PS: sorry for my language

I wanted this to be My Book. The one that I can't wait to get into the hands of kids who need to see something different and need to see themselves. This is that book. It's a tough one - it's HARD and there's no easy answer found at the end but it is true. Evan is like so many kids and yet he's singular. The trials he goes through are not simple and not everything gets solved. His story in a lot of ways begins at the end for him. Very very good.

One of my favorite books of all time. The Dangerous Art of Blending In is an emotional rollercoaster packed with true heart and originality. Evan is also one of my favorite characters of all time, his complex tangle of confusion, self-hate, and anxiety eventually melting away and allowing himself to be loved a beautiful and unique plotline. The cover was also incredible, the light ice cream-themed design pleasant and appropriately delicate. This was a fantastic debut from Angelo Surmelis, and I hope he'll write more in the future. Based on the author's note, The Dangerous Art of Blending In was inspired by a lot of Angelo's true experience, so I don't know if a future novel would feel as personal as this one. But, I really loved this book, and I know I did because it was the first book I binge read in a long, long time.