The Vanishing Season audiobook

"This is no place for anyone with a heart." The Moment Collector, or The Vanishing Season as it is also called in an alternate edition, is one of the coldest, loneliest books I have ever read. Anderson seems to love themes about outsiders, isolation, growing up and not always getting what we'd hoped for - she's already responsible for breaking my heart with the vicious but quiet Tiger Lily, and she returns once more to tell a tale about three friends and the ghost who observes them from afar. I said forever ago that the song Peter by Daughter perfectly fit with Anderson's Tiger Lily. Well, if that book was a song by Daughter, then this one is their entire debut album. Some of these lyrics are so perfect for the book, all cold loneliness:Drifting apart like two sheets of ice, my loveFrozen hearts growing colder with time [...]Oh, winter comesOh, winter crush all of the things that I once loved. - WinterTwo feet standing on a principleTwo hands digging in each others woundsCold smoke seeping out of colder throatsDarkness falling, leaves nowhere to move. - StillYou only look into my eyes when I've been cryin'to see if the tears that you have made are slowly dryin'Oh, but even if they've dried, it don't mean that I'm feelin ok 'cause I'm still sad inside. - Your KissesDid she make your heart beat faster than I could?Did she give you what you hoped for?Oh, nights of loveless love, I hope it made you feel good,Knowing how much I adored you. - LoveThis may also be the highest rating I've ever given to a book where virtually nothing happens. Despite what it may appear to be, or what the blurb tells you... this book is not a paranormal ghost story. Nor is it a murder mystery. There is no fast-paced plot, and any drama is used to create a portrait of a realistic set of relationships rather than being a tool to keep the reader on the edge of their seat. It is, in fact, a slow-moving and beautifully-written character study. It's a coming-of-age story about love, friendship, loss, growing up and accepting what will never be. I don't consider it a spoiler to tell you that Anderson never delivers the ending the reader wants. She delivers a hard dose of reality - her books are about the things we have to face, the loves that don't work out. "The living always think that monsters roar and gnash their teeth. But I've seen that real monsters can be friendly, they can smile and they can say please and thank you like everyone else. Real monsters can appear to be kind. Sometimes, they can be inside us." There is a very interesting and complex relationship dynamic happening between the three main characters in this book and I found it fascinating and really, really sad. I like how well the author blurs the line between good and bad, making it possible for characters to act in ways I don't normally like and be bitter and jealous - but I still end up caring about them all. I feel like I must stress that this is very gentle, subdued novel and it won't work for many readers. But I think if you enjoy books simply about people and relationships, then you might just love this. As the book tells us: "It's dangerous to be young." In so many ways.

The Vanishing Season follows Maggie, who moves to Door County and follows her story as she meets and befriends her neighbour, Pauline. But then girls start to go missing, one by one, and nobody knows who is behind it. “How do you know when you give too much or too little to someone else?” she asked tentatively. “Like, how do you figure out how to love people, but then, not get… you know… walked on? How do people figure that out?”Her mom thought for a while. “I think there probably aren’t many people who have it figured out perfectly. I guess it’s just little increments, always correcting this way or the other, like a seesaw. I don’t know if there’s any perfect balance between standing up for yourself and being generous.” One thing everyone needs to know about Jodi Lynn Anderson’s books is that they’re not about what you think they’re about. Tiger Lily was not just a Peter Pan retelling, Midnight at the Electric was not just about a girl’s trip to Mars, and The Vanishing Season is not a ghost story, nor is it a mystery about the disappearance of several girls. It’s a story about friendship and betrayal, about learning how to love and the pains of growing up. At first look, it seems like a contemporary novel about a romance between three friends, but it’s so much more than that. “The living always think that monsters roar and gnash their teeth. But I’ve seen that real monsters can be friendly; they can smile, and they can say please and thank you like everyone else. Real monsters can appear to be kind. Sometimes they can be inside us.” This book follows Maggie as she meets the beautiful, carefree Pauline and her childhood friend Liam, who is also in love with her. The house Maggie lives in is haunted by a ghost, but then girls start to disappear in their town. The story starts from there. The story in this book wasn’t action-packed, not a lot actually happened, but I really loved this book. Did I love it more than Tiger Lily and Midnight at the Electric? No. But was it just as good as them? Yes. The way the storyline played out really shocked me because I didn’t see it coming, especially the way the romance played out and what happened to certain characters, but I should not have been as surprised as I was. The author has a habit of ending her books in the most heartbreaking way and I swear this book was no exception. It was emotional and painful and unfair and it really made me cry ugly tears. “Maggie thought and then steeled her courage. “Pauline, why haven't you ever… you know? Liked Liam, like that?”Pauline looked over at her thoughtfully. She lolled her head to the side, then fiddled with the visor. “I’m not into anyone that way. I don’t know. I just, I don’t see why everyone has to pair off and fall in love and everything anyway. Why can’t we just stay the way we are?” The characterisation was absolutely perfect and I expected nothing less from Jodi Lynn Anderson. She has such a knack for creating such complex and believable characters that you just can’t help but root for. Every single character in this book captured my heart as soon as they were introduced but then they all broke it as well. There’s a love triangle between Maggie, Pauline and Liam, which I expected, but the way it plays out is so surprising, and the way it ends makes you want to hate Pauline and Liam, but I just couldn’t. Pauline is such a flawed character and there were so many times I wanted to shake her and tell her to pull herself together. Both her and Liam betrayed Maggie in the biggest way and my heart genuinely broke for Maggie, especially with the ending she got. But then I just couldn’t hate Liam and Pauline, no matter how selfish Pauline had been. I think that’s a testament to the strength of this author’s writing in that she can make you feel so much more these characters in such a short space of time. “I know it sounds crazy, but I think I’m different from everyone else. Most people want to move forward, but not me. I just want to come home. I just wish I was little again.” Overall, The Vanishing Season, just like every other book I’ve read by Jodi Lynn Anderson, broke my heart. It’s books like these that make me feel so much and it's why she is one of my absolute favourite authors of all time. Whenever she writes another book, I’ll be the first in line to buy it. I can’t recommend her enough.

3.5 starsYes, that's a four star rating for a book that, so far, has an average of under 3 stars. I'm not going to white-knight my rating and dismiss the lower average one because this book is definitely not for everyone. I understand perfectly the people that have not enjoyed this book, because when it comes down to it, this book is not exactly enjoyable, but I will say that it is achingly beautiful. The Vanishing Season is a really slow book from beginning to end. It has a spark of mystery, but let me be clear, the book is not about the mystery of the murders in any sense or form. This book deals with the paranoia of a small town and the morbid excitement and curiosity, but all that is still just the background for a story that's really just about three teens and their relationship. This book is a heartbreaking and brutal story of love, friendship and the things we are willing to for both. This book doesn't romanticize any of the relationships in it nor the characters involved, but rather paints them starkly and realistically and not always in the best light. The truly fascinating thing for me about this book is that each of the three main characters is one of those typical YA stereotypes that we love - the smart, quiet, reading girl; the manic pixie dream girl; and the sweet, mysterious, loving guy -, but in this book, they are shown with flaws, they all make mistakes, and none of them are likable all the way through the novel. They were strongly drawn characters that always felt real and authentic. That's where the novel got me, in spite of its slow progression and loose plot. This novel is about first loves and mistakes and the strength of friendships, and I think Anderson did a wonderful job at depicting them in a stark, yet heartwarming manner. As expected from Anderson after reading Tiger Lily, one of my most recent favorite books, her storytelling is gorgeous and subtle. It sneaks up on you, and before you realize it, you are completely invested in these kids and their relationships and then she wrenches them away leaving you completely brokenhearted. All throughout the story, there's this mysterious second narrator that creates the most surreal atmosphere in the story and, although at the beginning I was confused, it ended up making the story all the more poignant. It's strange because, although the novel is not about the mystery and only deals with it in a superficial manner, the novel keeps you wondering all the way through. You get hints about what will happen, but it still happens in a most unexpected and heartbreaking way.This is one of those books made for very specific readers. I connected with the story, with the flawed but authentic characters, and their experiences together, and, after that, I simply couldn't help loving this book. This is a difficult one to recommend, but people who loved Tiger Lily and its tragic beauty will probably like this one too.

“The living always think that monsters roar and gnash their teeth. But I’ve seen that real monsters can be friendly; they can smile, and they can say please and thank you like everyone else. Real monsters can appear to be kind. Sometimes they can be inside us.” This is the second book I've read by Jodi Lynn Anderson and I must say, her writing is unlike anything I've read before. She has this whimsical, almost childish style, that gives the plot and characters a fairytale-like quality. But beneath the beauty of this book's writing, there lay an overwhelming sadness that slowly crept up on me.First, even though everyone else is already saying it, let's just get this out of the way: Despite the sound of the synopsis, this is not a thriller. The summary sells a ghostly paranormal mystery - which is what I expected before starting it - with girls getting murdered in a small town, but this book is nothing more than a bittersweet contemporary following Maggie.I really loved the characters. After Maggie moves to Door County, she meets Pauline and Liam and the three quickly become close friends. Meanwhile, the story is partly narrated by an unnamed ghost who seems to be following Maggie. I was brought into the intimate circle of the three main characters, of the hesitant Maggie who had feelings for shy, compassionate Liam, and the bubbly, impulsive, cheerful Pauline.This book does focus on romance - on the complicated feelings intertwined between Maggie, Liam, and Pauline - and I think I always knew it would end sadly from the lingering, bittersweet sense that they were running out of time, that somewhere, a clock was ticking down. “I want to help. I want to shine a giant spotlight on the boy lying in the snow and on the one running for his car.But I’m only a ghost, a memory of a memory.These moments are all in the past. What can anyone do about them now?” The Vanishing Season is such a beautiful, incredibly touching, underread book. I highly recommend it, especially if you enjoyed Anderson's heart-wrenching Peter Pan retelling, Tiger Lily, or if you like good coming of age novels in general.

We could have set the world on fire, too, if we'd been friends. But we never were. The Moment Collector, to be alternately published as The Vanishing Season(which I don't think is as suitable a title), is a book that entirely clashes with whatever expectations one might have. It isn't what it seems.The Moment Collector isn't a paranormal story because the ghost is an observer, for a long while until she isn't. She has no wrongs to right, guilt to assuage, vengeance to be had. At least, far as she can remember. You wouldn't think it's her story. The Moment Collector isn't a thriller, or a mystery, for the story passively tells as the killer kills, girls drown. There is no investigation, no engagement on the part of the characters. You wouldn't find it in this story.The Moment Collector isn't completely a contemporary story, despite what you may expect, conclusions drawn by elimination because it hasn't the requisite angst, or enough passion, disregard, learning and everything else that wholly is the drive behind such a story. You might discover those elements along the way in this story, but in minuscule quantities.In the end, this story is a mixture of it all, ghostly and lonely and bittersweet and anticipatory; in fact, it is much better for that. Perfect as it is, maintaining an equilibrium amongst all its components. Diving in, I must warn you, you would spend a lot of time expecting, chin up, nose poking sniffing-like, mouth parted. It's the tone of the story and the unassumingly simple story playing that gives way for anticipation and waiting. And it might not come. Whatever you're thinking, it won't be that. Best of all, I don't think that makes one lick of a difference because you'll end up immersed in this story yet sadly, by the sentence you figure out that you don't want more, it'll be too late. This book isn't even 300 pages, you see, and the font size certainly doesn't require a magnifying glass. But there was a sense of waiting, too. There was a feeling that they were in a bubble... In the end, it's Maggie's story- and Pauline's, and Liam's. Simple as that.I was vacillating between three and fours stars, and decided to lean towards the latter because this book lingers on in my mind, and the snowy seasons might soon take up residence there. Why are books[see: The Snow Child and The Whole Stupid Way We Are] written in snowy fields so much more hauntingly beautiful than everything else? Maggie, the new girl in town, is the protagonist of this story, with her delusions of grandeur and invincibility. She's a mature character, her personality sharpened by the economic conditions, but I don't think it can be entirely dismissed that she was just such a person. A person who plans down to the last detail, now a teenager trying not to show her bitterness as her parents strive to indulge, or at least provide for her. ...that didn't stop it from breaking her heart, for all the things her parents wanted to give her and couldn't. Soon enough, she finds immediate friends in Pauline and Liam, the guy she falls for and who in turn loves Pauline, has for a long while. It's a triangle, heartbreaking, believable and one so hard to find a fault in; you don't who to root for, there's no one to despise, there's nothing banal about it. There's nothing banal about this story. It felt like they were taking a town that was lost in the dark and lighting it up. Pauline, for her part, is a bright, vivacious, flighty girl; inside, you can see, instead that she is lost and sad and hopeless. Despite everything, she can bring out a smile. Despite what others see, she's imperfect and so, so wrong. Maggie smiled, thinking how Pauline only kept track of the good things. And we have shy, silent, blushing Liam, the kind of guy who would spend his summer building a sauna for a girl; the one-girl kind of guy how will always, every time make something out of scratch, things so beyond spectacular for you. You found a way to bring summer to January. What I love is that these characters, we have all met and hated and been bored by them in other stories; they used to adhere to their stereotypes, matching action for every conceivable meaning that could be divulged from their laconic descriptions in which their whole personalities were fit. But these teenagers, they are all faulty, wrong, cheaters, and capable of things we deem bad and good. Because in life you can't hate someone for one action; it's the cumulative that forms a person, and even that's ever-changing. And above all else, I loved the complexity of the relationships, so grave and deep and etched into their bones. The love triangle was one of my favorite aspects of the book, that separates The Moment Collector from majority of young adult romances. Moreover, absolutely fascinating was the development of Maggie, how everything, how one month can change someone in authentic ways. And that is part of what makes the whole book so poignant and harrowing.Friendship and love are important themes in this novel, behind the whole facade of it-not-being-what-it-is, ans slowly, surely I was sucked into it. It's a breathtaking piece of work of all the things right and wrong and horribly in between, when it comes to life in general. Killings and small-town prejudice and hating your best-friends and the hurt constantly shoved deeper; all the things people can and will and shouldn't and must do. The strength of friendship, that can often falter. Despite the lack of plot and slow pacing, this is a stark, bittersweet story. With emphasis on bitter. Jodi Lynn Anderson has written a tragically honest and brutal story about a girl who, in ordinary circumstances, would have been a side character to remember fondly once the story is finished. If I were someone in the story, some observer, say Elsa, Maggie wouldn't be the protagonist. But this is her story, where she believes in her own invincibility and has delusions of grandeur, in spite of that she might be infallible as, say, Erica, as every girl who ever disappeared. That is our tragedy believing in stories that started the moment we were conceived yet waiting, watching for the year when we break out, away. Maggie wondered if this was how the real part of life started, with everything going slightly tilted and making you feel like things were rising in you, like ripples and waves. Overlooking all the factoids and articles and missing persons. I've read articles, I've seen it in magazines: it's dangerous to be young. But I think that erroneous though it might be, this cloak provides for some of out best memories, relationships, happiness. And I'd personally like to go on believing I'm invincible, for a while at least, contrary to all that happens around me, and to me. A lot of things would be impossible, unachievable if we let go of that. ...to know the things we want are bigger than what we get, and as deep as outer space. The ending is a powerful one, packing a punch. But the story doesn't hinge on the conclusion; it made me cry before eternally depressing me, and afterwards as well. However different the outcome might have been, the story would still be as lush, beautiful, provoking. But of course the ending played a great part, and it mustn't be discounted, much as I'd like to, for it ties everything together, in inexplicable, surprising, realistic ways. During that last chapter, I was fucking bawling. Love can't be taken back once it's given. The prose is subtle yet sublime and wonderful; ordinary words, everyday moments that speak so much. Besides Maggie's story, there's a narrative from a third person, the ghost, that builds up dread and morbidity. Anderson's storytelling flows naturally that you don't even realized how entangled you are. And a whole lotta times, it's plain beautiful, no explanations required: Here is a moment that sparkles hard like a diamond. There was one time, however, that I could make no sense of it. Since it was that sole paragraph, I thought it imperative to mention. If I could show you the lives of the people below me - the colors of what they all feel heading into this chilling, late Fall - they'd be green and purple and red, leaking out through the roofs, making invisible tracks down the roads. I can imagine this, it's lovely, but I'd like to know what the fuck the colors signify. What does purple even mean? Without context, without ay factoid about the populace and the general emotion caused by circumstances(maybe winter, maybe the killings), it's meaningless.Strangely enough, despite the lack of pacing, The Moment Collector keeps you engaged on every level, in every element, be it the identity of the killer, the ghost or the outcome of all this heartbreak. It would be incomplete, dangling had it been lacking even one of these. I love these humane characters, I love this story and forever more will do. There are reasons this book resonated with me, deeply, but without that, I'd love it still. There. So much love. sigh....... I don't many people will like the kind of tragic beauty the book has to offer; many will be turned away by the slow progression, by the contrast between the tale and its misleading blurb and the way it is being projected into the masses. But others will love it. I sure do hope so. It's a crescendo. It's tragic. Because I know what it means. It means we are - I am - a piece of the past...This is no place for anyone with a heart. (view spoiler)[This is what I think the world is showing me. We are souls at a common cause. We are only here to love. That was my great story all along. We are here to take chances, and fail, and keep trying. But you stupid girl, you...you never got a second chance. You should have worn more clothes. And if only you'd managed to walk a bit further. (hide spoiler)]I hate winter. Except I sincerely believe I was made for it-it's barely even summer and I'm already mutating. Plus, winter brings out the worst and best in me. Like, right fucking now because it's so cold in the room, I'm probably going to be extra kind on the brother from my own mother. He'll be surprised, so he will. :PSo there, that's all I have to say in my present state of a blubbering mess. Thank you Hachette Children's Books!

Review also posted at Ja čitam, a ti?Before I start sorting out my feelings for this book I might first tell you that the blurb (the one you see here or the one for The Vanishing Season - the same book just different title) are misleading. Yes this book has ghosts, mystery and serial killer, but this book is not only about that. Instead the focus of this book is on Maggie, her moving to different town and trying to fit it, meeting Pauline and Liam and the dynamic in relationships between them. Like I said, Maggie our main character moves into a small down, due to financial issues her family is faced with. Grill Creek is a small, everyone-know-everyone town so when murders of young girls start it causes confusion and panic among the citizens. It creates fear, one you can feel while turning the pages of this book, but at the same time you can see that Maggie won't be burden by it. The story turn into a tale about friendship and growing up and trying to belong. If I'm to describe Ms. Anderson's writing I'd say it hits all the right notes and created the symphony my ears what to hear. It's something I rarely experience but when I do I cherish it. Not only writing but characters are built so that they are real, Maggie was me and I was Maggie so many times. Both Pauline and Liam were there, and while I do not approve of some of their actions they were believable and something, when you think about it, you could expect. Then there is that ending, the one that I didn't see coming and the one that shook me to the core. While reading and reviewing mostly, I come to realize that the degree of feelings you have for a book depend on how far you're ready to go to understand the story. How willing are you to think it through. Somehow I could find explanation for each and every decision in this book and that is also why not everyone will love this book as much as I did.

** spoiler alert ** I was hesitant of giving this book 4 stars however the ending made it for me. I wanted to strangle Liam and Pauline because they were selfish. I thought Liam and Maggie were going end up together however Pauline got back in the picture. Pauline was sent away by her mom and she refused that she was in love with Liam. Maggie then fell in love with Liam and they were happy. Her parents also went through hardships and she couldn't get that beautiful dress she saw which broke my heart. But guess what Pauline gets the dress she wanted and the guy. Really? Pauline was so selfish and ignorant but how Maggie pushed down her emotions hurt my heart. I felt horrible that Maggie was envious and hurt by Pauline. I mean why did Pauline have to get that dress I mean really? Pauline and Maggie eventually forgive each other even though it was mostly Pauline's fault. Also Pauline almost died by the killer but Maggie saved her. Liam did get hurt as well which made me feel a little better because he's an asshole. Anyway the ending about the ghost speaking about loving one another and trying is life. It made me understand the theme about the book of struggling, love or heartbreak. It made me really love this book because the ghost was just another narrator making me smile. I just loved the wisdom it gave me and it made me love this book.

My feels. This book stretched and pulled and tied them into strings. I cried, I laughed...and fell utterly in love.

REREAD IN 2018:First off, lol @ my old review when I used to speak so damn formally. Anyways, two years later and I still adore this novel. Sure, the synopsis was misleading and the plot itself wasn't too original, but that doesn't matter. Jodi Lynn Anderson has such a captivating, raw writing style that brings her world and every single character to life. Even the random side characters who show up for a few chapters feel incredibly authentic and I cannot help but feel as though I am reading about a real person.I knew what was coming, and yet I've been crying off and on for the past half an hour. Anderson's stories have consistently wrapped up in a bittersweet manner, and it always breaks my heart, no matter how many times I reread them. I will always love THE VANISHING SEASON just as I love TIGER LILY. The Vanishing Season by Jodi Lynn Anderson was absolutely enthralling, just like her other astounding novel Tiger Lily. And much like Tiger Lily, The Vanishing Season broke my heart.Jodi truly has a way with words, and after reading this book, she has become one of my favorite authors. She creates vivacious and crisp scenes without being too wordy. And she writes the best characters. They are fun and quirky, and they also make mistakes and have dark thoughts, like real people. For example, in this book, the protagonist was likable and relatable (at least, to me), yet she had some selfish thoughts and desires. What I also appreciated is that the love interest was not this perfect man. He was quite and awkward and shy, qualities that a real man is likely to have.The ending, I did not entirely see coming. Much like Tiger Lily, it was not a happy ending, and it hurt me deeply. I instantly became attached to all of these characters and was unable to put this book down, which of course led an even deeper heartbreak.I'm sad to see most have not enjoyed this story nearly as much as I have, and I can understand why because the synopsis is slightly misleading. This is more of a love story than a ghost story, but there are a few paranormal aspects. Still, I would highly recommend this book, but do keep in mind that this is a coming-of-age story about love and loss.

An advance copy of this novel was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.This review can also be found at The Starry-Eyed Revue.I've only read one other book by Jodi Lynn Anderson, and that was Tiger Lily , which I rather enjoyed. I found a lot of similarities between The Vanishing Season and the other book, including Anderson's narrative style and her propensity toward leaving her readers' hearts shattered, both of which make for a very compelling read.This audiobook is lovely...deceptively so, for there are strange things happening in Door County. Oddly enough, the Tiger Lily audiobook was also narrated by the very capable Cassandra Campbell. I didn't fully enjoy her voice the first time I heard her narrate an audiobook -- and it may very well have been Tiger Lily, in which she used a very childlike voice -- but now I can honestly say her approach to the books she narrates has really grown on me. (ETA: I totally just realized I was confusing two Cassandras. But still, Cassandra Campbell is a fabulous narrator.) With 380 titles under her belt on Audible, I'm obviously not the only one who appreciates her performances. In this novel, her voice is haunting and sad and lends an eerie sense of calm to the story. Whereas the narration in the audiobook detracted some from Tiger Lily, here I think it is essential. At least, that's how it was for me.The story is told from the perspective of an unknown narrator. Perhaps the house turned sentient or the ghost of a past resident...or maybe even the Door County Killer. It's not made clear until the story comes to a close and everything has come full circle. I, for one, loved not knowing who was behind the keen observations in The Vanishing Season. But that did not stop me from hazarding guess after guess.This novel won't be for everyone, as evidenced by the many mixed reviews I've seen come across my feed over the past few months. But the same was true of Lucy Christopher's The Killing Woods , and I rather enjoyed that book, as well. In fact, I'd liken the two stories due to the air of mystery and danger, as well as the fact that the settings in each book seem to come alive and become characters in their own rights.I'm not going to sugarcoat things: this novel is absolutely depressing. But it's not always depressing. It's rife with longing and loss and betrayal and love. It will leave you loathing some characters and crying for others, but in the end, you'll find that none of it matters. It's actually really perplexing to me how much I liked this story despite all of that...or in spite of it all. I'm not sure who I'd recommend this story to because those that I expected to love it didn't and others who I didn't even expect to read the book ended up liking it as much as I did, if not more. The Vanishing Season is really one of those books that you just have to try for yourself.GIF it to me straight:

** spoiler alert ** #33 #20184/5 I actually don't know how to rate this.. I was totally shocked right now. the first halfway,, this book is really slow and bored.. i almost give up. But i don't easily give up on reading.. it just, I take a lot of time while reading this.. but on the pages 100 and above this book get my full attention.. the development is slow but when I almost reach the end of this book,, its like boom.. I love it.. and I was surprised the ending was like that. And what surprised me is,, that ghost.. that ghost who watched Maggie, Pauline and Liam all this time was actually Maggi ghost.. she actually live (life after death) based on her memories.. the past when she still alive.. and yes,, its heartbreaking..I didn't cry but still I feel the pang on my heart when Maggie is actually just remembering her memories.. All the scene is actually just her memories and past. At first I thought this could be a waste but now I'm glad that I'm picking up this book even though it takes a lot of my time to finished this.