Babyproofing Your Marriage Audiobook Summary
Warning! New parents are likely to experience:
Scorekeeping–An exceedingly complex, often relentless, tit-for-tat war waged by husbands and wives over the division of parenting responsibilities and domestic chores.
The Ten O’Clock Shoulder Tap–Considered by many men to be a form of foreplay. A paw on a wife’s shoulder is how some men indicate their desire for sex. The Tap is rarely accompanied by a term of endearment or any other verbal form of communication and is seldom well received by the often-sleeping/almost-always-exhausted wife. The frustrated husband, meanwhile, wonders if his wife has pulled a Bait and Switch in the bedroom.
Clash of the Grannies–A high stakes “who will have the greatest influence on the grandkids” tournament played by each set of grandparents. Competitive categories include: the Title Championship (who gets to be called “Grandma”), the Battle for Floor and Wall Space, the Battle for Face Time, and Gratuitous Grandparental Gift-Giving.
The Babyproofers are three women who wouldn’t trade their roles as mothers for anything, and they love their husbands deeply. But after living through it and hearing the stories of hundreds of other couples, they know that with young children in the house, you need to block the stairs with baby gates, put plastic covers over the outlets, AND take the necessary steps to safeguard your marriage.
Babyproofing Your Marriage is the warts-and-all truth about how having children can affect your relationship. The authors explore the transition to parenthood in light of their own experiences, with input from their husbands and commentary from men and women across the country. Their evenhanded approach to both sides of the marital equation allows spouses to understand each other in a whole new way.
With loads of humor and practical advice, the Babyproofers will guide first-time parents and veterans alike around the rocky shores of the early parenting years. Don’t fall prey to common relationship pitfalls: Babyproof Your Marriage!
Other Top Audiobooks
Babyproofing Your Marriage Audiobook Narrator
Jennifer Van Dyck is the narrator of Babyproofing Your Marriage audiobook that was written by Stacie Cockrell
Jennifer Van Dyck has starred on and off Broadway, in such films as The Contender and Bullets Over Broadway, and on television in Law & Order and Spin City.
About the Author(s) of Babyproofing Your Marriage
Stacie Cockrell is the author of Babyproofing Your Marriage
More from the same
Babyproofing Your Marriage Full Details
|Narrator||Jennifer Van Dyck|
|Length||5 hours 42 minutes|
|Release date||January 23, 2007|
The publisher of the Babyproofing Your Marriage is HarperAudio. The imprint is HarperAudio. It is supplied by HarperAudio. The ISBN-13 is 9780061262241.
This book is only available in the United States.
March 27, 2013
i am relieved that i didn't read this until after i already had a baby, because it definitely would have scared me. but as a parent, i found it quite helpful. i picked it up from the library after yet another fight with jared. allow me to explain: in the almost-six years we were together before we had our baby, we had fights maybe once or twice a year. since we had ramona, we are averaging fights more like once or twice a month. that's still chump change compared to a lot of couples, i know, but for us, it's like a tenfold increase! it's been really stressful! so we had another fight because i was feeling rushed to take over baby duty for the day, but all of ramona's bottles were dirty, but i didn't have room to wash them because the counter was still littered with dishes from dinner the night before. i freaked out a little & jared said, "i feel like i have to walk on eggshells because you're clearly about to have a tantrum," & i, of course, objected to the infantilizing language & said something to the effect of, "remember when we first started dating & i told you that it wouldn't fly with me if you spoke to me in a condescending manner? i don't know why you think anything has changed. we have an actual baby if you really feel the need to infantilize someone." actually, that's exactly what i said, & he was all, "fine! i'm leaving!" but instead he just shut himself in the office with ramona, which freed me up to take a walk to the library.the most helpful chapter in the book for me was about "scorekeeping". i didn't even know there was a name for it, but i knew that i did it & i knew that it probably wasn't good for our relationship. scorekeeping is when you keep a running tally in your head of all the things you do for the baby & for your partner, & a converse tally of all the boneheaded things your partner does to make your life more difficult. like putting the pizza box in the recycling even though you've told him at least 1200 times that the recycling guy doesn't take pizza boxes. or the time he put away the laundry without being asked, but stuffed the diapers so they were all bunched up & leaky. or that time he washed all the dishes...except for the baby's bottles, which were all dirty. or that other time when he gave the baby a bath...but he didn't wash her face & she had another baby acne outbreak. get the picture? this book definitely made me appreciate jared a lot more & it gave me some helpful tools for communicating with him & letting him know that i appreciate him. i could have lived without the annoying gender essentialism (mommy is hardwired to protect the baby! daddy is hardwired to provide for the baby!). it's annoying that the book assumes that all parenting couples are married (jared & i are not). it's even more annoying that the book assumes that all parenting couples are straight. i can't even imagine being in a queer couple & trying to glean wisdom from this book. it could be done, but so much of it is geared for straight couples, it's pretty overwhelming. but as i personally am in a straight couple, it was at least halfways useful to me. i also want to address the childless people that are reading this & complaining about how it is a terrible book because it presents parenting as this joyless, horrible thing that must be completely hateful. um...this book kind of nails parenting, actually. it doesn't present parenting in a negative light; it presents parenting in a realistic light. personally, i love my baby beyond words & i really enjoy caring for her...but is it work? HELL YES! it can be really stressful sometimes. parenting is seriously not all about curling up with your baby in a sunbeam & having this beatific mother earth moment, okay? that might happen like three times in your life, if you're lucky, but it seriously is a scramble to feed the baby, feed yourself, get your hair washed, wash the laundry, clean the litterbox, change the baby's diaper...it never ends. there are countless moments of joy, of course. seeing your baby smile just never gets old. but if you read this book & think, "ugh, parenting can't possibly be that bad!" do yourself a favor & don't have kids. because it is.
August 16, 2007
This is a very practical, specific, and insightful book regarding how men and women act in their marriage, why they do, and what changes (or will need to change) when you throw children into the mix. I especially recommend that couples read it so you can talk through the "do you *really* think that way?" sections. It's not a perfect book, but it is one of the best parenting books I've come across. The issues it does have are attributable less to fault by the authors and are more to its origins and purpose. Written by three women it does a better than average job of representing men's feelings and motivations but cannot do it perfectly because, well, the authors are not men (go figure). The other fault is due to it's purpose. That is, it attempts to guide middle- to upper-class heterosexual married couples through the pitfalls and tribulations of child rearing. With this goal in mind it does not mention any alternative parenting situation, it does not adequately address the special challenges that lower-income families have, and either for effect or (sadly) because this is actually the norm, it assumes a rather parochial view of marriage responsibilities where men expect women to do the child rearing. Perhaps this last criticism is unfair, as this book is actually an attempt to explain both the biological origins of those assumed responsibilities, as well as to provide a mechanism to communicate and perhaps to better share the load. Even so, there appears to be a tacit assumption that your marriage accepts those roles.One word of caution: some parts are scary and will make you want run to the drug store for your favorite brand of contraceptive. So, if you have, or are planning to have children, also pick up a "lighter" book on parenting such as "Crouching Father, Hidden Toddler" or "Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads" to lighten the mood.
September 09, 2007
This has been a really good discussion point for my husband and me - we don't have kids yet, but it's good to see what kinds of issues we might have and discuss how we would like to deal with them, before we are angry and sleep-deprived all the time. The book tries to take into account both sides of each issue (each chapter is broken down into "how he feels" and "how she feels"), although sometimes they tend to be a little hard on men (there is more assumption that men will change than there is that women will change). Overall, this is a great book. The authors are writing from their own experience as mothers and wives as well as from many, many interviews with men and women in different situations. It has really made me think about the way I feel about things, and look at things from my husband's perspective as well. I found myself wanting to mark pages for him to read about how I feel, and run to him and ask "is this really how you feel about ___?" For the most part, you probably won't dramatically change the way you feel - the authors point out that many of the tension points come from differences in fathers' and mothers' "hardwiring" - but it will make you think about how you ACT. Just understanding your spouse's point of view should help a lot, and that clarification is what this book offers.
March 09, 2016
One day the three authors were sitting around and discussing the problems in their marriage since the baby(ies) had arrived and realized that they all were having the same issues. So they wrote this book. It discusses the fighting, the scorekeeping, the in-laws, the lack of sex, etc. It's full of humor, snark, and tell-it-like-it-is.Is there a life-changing method or revelation in this book? Probably not. But I found it cathartic to know that the struggles I've had in my marriage since the arrival of the baby aren't new or uncommon--seeing the exact problem described in the book was a huge relief for me, actually. The other reviews here ding this book for being scary or mean, and many of the reviewers don't even have children yet. The thing is that you can't know how your life will change after the baby. It all depends on your personalities, work situations, and support systems. Did every section of the book apply to me and my marriage? No. But the parts that did were very helpful. I'm glad I found this one.
June 03, 2016
To give myself a little credibility for this review: This was my reading material as I breastfed (or pumped for) my first-born baby. I finished it today and my son is only ten weeks old.When approaching a self-helpy book, it is imperative to remember the true benefits of a stereotype (yes, benefits!). A book like this is written for a large demographic of people, covering a wide variety of very personal experiences. You must remember: if the shoe fits, wear it. If not, move along to the next pair. Or, take a good look at it and think to yourself: I'm so glad that's not me!Whether you have children now or will someday, it is important to remember that your marriage will change. Some of the examples and anecdotes in this book will look like an extreme, dramatized, exaggerated caricature of you while others will have you feeling grateful that you have it so easy. If you don't have kids, don't despair! You will most likely not fall into every one of the situations you read about in this book. And, if you do, these ladies offer some pretty good ideas on how to work through the struggles together. If you have kids already and find that you do not relate to some of these issues, or you think some of the solutions suggested are out there, remember the thing about the shoes. If you get to a point where you think about giving up on the book, maybe the part where they recommend the Five-Minute Fix (really?!), keep reading. The end, for me, was the best part. I almost want this book to be a permanent fixture on my shelf; one that I can refer to as the stages of my marriage evolve. What doesn't apply now may be an issue in the future.
June 27, 2022
I read this book after my second baby, my first being 2 1/2 and second being 3 months at the time. It definitely does a great job of making me feel more validated and “normal” as a mother. This could be hindsight bias, but though the book is directed toward expectant parents, I don’t believe that they can really connect with it until they’ve had at least one child for a few months. I also don’t feel that it would “scare” expectant parents as many of the other reviews state. It simply shares real life challenges that relationships with children bring, and if you are not ready to endure those challenges, then maybe you should wait to have children. I do think the book would be more appreciated by women than men. I’m also reading the book in 2022 and it was published in 2008, and at times it does feel a little out-dated.
June 01, 2021
Looking back ten years later, this is the most useful pregnancy/baby care book I read. And I read many. Their gender stereotypes are eye-rolling. But the part about "Nothing said while sleep-deprived counts" is probably the best possible advice for getting through the first few years and for that I am grateful.
Joseph T Loucks
July 03, 2020
Amazing read as a first time mom!This book gave so much insight to some meaningful conversations my husband and I should have prior to the arrival of our little man. It brought to light things I never would’ve considered talking about! Such a great insightful read
May 28, 2020
I absolutely 100% recommend this book to any young mother struggling with all the demands of motherhood and marriage. The stories and advice were so relate-able and it was exactly what I needed for this tough but rewarding time in my life.
April 17, 2021
Amazing, amazing, amazing!!!! I loved this book and what it helped me to think about before my little baby is born.
February 19, 2018
I had the audiobook and listened to it at work. It was very insightful and provided depth I wasn't expecting. Overall I think it was a great book that presented both sides of a marriage.
August 14, 2018
Some good advice and common sense.
February 25, 2019
Great read for couples pre-baby!
March 12, 2022
A good reminder that none of us is alone in how we feel during this time.
September 08, 2012
As a relatively recent parent I found this book quite relative to my experience over the past year of parenthood. It's not really a book that tells you what to do to mold your spouse into being helpful it's basically a book that says "Hey, you aren't alone in the psychotic transition" There are so many incredibly annoying things that come along with having children and you feel as if you are alone on this little island and you find that in every moment you're at odds with your spouse. You begin to think "why is this happening?" "why doesn't he get it?" "is this normal?" and pretty much you think you're losing your mind. This book was quite humorous for me because I was able to laugh about what had happened and how I reacted. I wouldn't really recommend this book for a person who was pregnant or a newlywed because it will terrify you. I actually in the "Ramping up and Giving In" chapter terrified me of having more children and while reading it found out I am pregnant with my second child. But it's ok, it did shed some hope that maybe my husband might get it a little better than before. The score keeping chapter was a hoot, because people can always relate to keeping score whether you have children or not, but when you're a new parent it is so easy to take that game to a whole new level of crazy.I really wish there had been someone in the book that had a more similar home situation as me as well as the in-law situation. Because everyone pretty much listed in the book were able to have their husband home quite a bit and normal 9-5 jobs. In may case both my husband and I work in the film industry and while I'm taking time off to take care of the baby he's off in another state working for months on end and I see him once every blue moon, so I wish that maybe they had of had someone who was enlisted with some great stories so I could have some input from a similar scenario. The in-law chapter didn't contain enough crazy. My in-laws were horrible post baby and in that quick chapters those scenarios were mild. So that left me with so many questions. But you have to remember this book is here to make you feel better about your own situation at home and to remind you that you are not alone even though you feel like it. As well as the important reminder that no, you are not crazy! I highly recommend this book for the parents that have recently experience this world as to not scare them away.
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