By Myself and Then Some audiobook

I found this all but impossible to put down. Bacall writes in a very immediate style, full of personality - her prose apparently untouched by ghost writers. The most interesting part of the book is, inevitably, the description of her youth, covering her amazingly swift rise to fame and marriage to Bogart.However, the later sections about her career after Bogart's death, her broken engagement to Frank Sinatra and failed second marriage to Jason Robards, are also just as readable.There's an extra part added 25 years after the book's original publication, covering her more recent films and stage shows and paying tribute to some of her friends who have died, such as Katharine Hepburn and Gregory Peck.A must for any fan of old Hollywood with a soft spot for Bogie and Bacall.

Lauren Bacall was a wonderful human. Her talent is undeniable as an actress, wife, mother, activist, caretaker, thinker, protector, helper, writer. While she’s now primarily remembered for her work as an actress, I was surprised at how personable and well-written By Myself and Then Some is. It reads like a Jewish grandmother sitting and telling you about her life. Wonderful.Death fills the latter half of this book. The highs are high, but the lows are so deep. Bacall lived long enough to see many of her friends and family die, and it has a sobering effect. She mentions at the end of the book that you don't think about death when you're young. She's right. I don't. Maybe things change once you experience the first death of someone close to you. Maybe you see the world differently. Maybe that's what it takes. It seems she did. Perhaps because of this, the pathos that Bacall views all people comes through. Her thoughts and opinions come through, but they’re always tempered with either her inherent understanding of others or the perspective of years. Maybe both. In her descriptions of her own life, she pulls no punches as far as I can tell, acknowledging her mistakes, but at the same time, owning them. She had affairs with married men, notably with Humphrey Bogart (in a few short months, her husband), and concedes that was not an ideal situation. But when two people meet and better each other in such a passionate way, surely that’s something to not throw away? So her life goes. I highly recommend it.What I would have underlined if this wasn't a library book.-It wasn’t good enough, I thought, to have someone crazy about you if you felt nothing.- Each time I was in love - this was it. The hunger to belong. Imagination is the highest kite that can fly.- It was hard growing up. (It’s still hard.)- Was all life to be proving yourself over and over?- I could tell him anything - dream my dreams aloud and he wouldn’t laugh…- My name would be on everyone’s lips, my words would be immortal - what was I to do with the me that was buried below all that, with the me I was stuck with, that was real?- There was no way Bogie and I could be in the same room without reaching for each other, and it wasn’t just physical. Physical was very strong, but it was everything-heads, beards, bodies, everything going at the same time.- No one has ever written a romance better than we lived it.- I don’t know how I did it, except that when you’re twenty, it never occurs to you that you can’t.- It was as though my brain shifted gears when I saw him – I reactivated the better part of it.- It takes so long to understand things, so much time wasted.- I’d become attached… to London. I wished I had a proper reason to stay there – once you’ve lived in that city, it’s a hard place to leave.- Why can’t we be better than we are? Why can’t we enrich our lives with appreciation of the arts, with books? Why can’t that all be at least as important as making money, having a bigger house, a newer car? …why don’t we take the time to see what is around us - the earth, the sea, the sky?

Great bio! Learned a lot about the famous Bogie and Bacall relationship. That was the best part. Slowed down a little after that but was still good. Has some pictures throughout the book, which I always think is a great addition to any biography. Definitely pick this up if you are a fan of Bogart, Bacall or old Hollywood in general.

Lauren Bacall tells the story of her life and the people who have been important to her over the years. Writing in a candid, chatty style, Bacall is honest about her innocence and insecurities as she moved to Los Angeles when she was eighteen. Telling stories about her early movies, life with Humphrey Bogart, his tragic death, her return to the stage in New York, and remarriage to Jason Robarts, it is almost as though you are sitting with Bacall over a cup of tea or taking a peek into her diary. One of the things that struck me about this book was the premium that Bacall places on friendship and how her friendships are such a central part of her life. This book is an updating of her original book By Myself that she wrote during her divorce from Robarts and its appeal lies in its writing. Rather than being shaped and polished by a ghostwriter, the personality of Lauren Bacall shines on every page.

I read the initial biography in the mid-80s. Back then it had been groundbreaking stuff; memoirs were not as common as they are now. Bacall's _By Myself_ was one of the books that ushered in the wave of memoir. It also set the standard for Celebrity Memoir and has what is perhaps the heaviest, most impressive collection of dropped names Ive ever read. By the end of the book Bacall feels like someone you have known all your life. She does an outstanding job of zipping the reader into her skin and taking off on a raw journey through her fascinatingly colourful first fifty years of life. _And Then Some_ is the addendum which brings the reader up to date on the two and a half decades in Bacall's life after the publication of the original memoir. As addenda go, it's the memoir equivalent of being fed Jello for dessert after enjoying five courses of gourmet delight. It's sweet and light and goes down easily but it's still just Jello. More names are dropped, more awards are recounted, but there is nothing matching the savory poignancy of her love affair with Bogart and its wrenching, tragic end. If I were rating this as two separate books the original _By Myself_ would get 4.5 stars--losing half a star for the hagiographic, romanticized picture of Humphrey Bogart which failed to address the fact that he kept a mistress (Vernita Peterson, his wigmaker) during the entirety of their marriage. The second book _And Then Some_ would be 2.5 stars. As it is I'm rounding the entire work together for 3.5 stars.

I'm no fan of biographies, but I couldn't miss this one. Betty has such a great personality and she lived in the most glamorous of all eras, the 1940's ! Call it a guilty pleasure, but a pleasure it was to read that book, from cover to cover.

From the beginning of this autobiography:Mother bought me a canary and I named him Petie. He was my first pet. I would talk to him – he would tweet to me. I’d close the windows and let him fly around the room. It was hell catching him, but I felt he was entitled to some freedom. One ghastly day when I suppose I thought he was well trained enough, and attached to me enough, I must have been a bit careless about a window, because he got out. He flew away – I never saw him again. I cried so. Mother tried replacing him with another canary, but it was never the same.That quote is typical of something that turns up throughout Bacall's life; if something's good, it - at the most bitter points in her life - is fleeting.However, this is thankfully not the tone of this autobiography. Before the last, updated bit of the book, Bacall details how she's overcome obstacles while pursuing a very glass-half-full point of view. And she's fought to be where she turned up early in her career, along with extraordinary luck, as she states. Among her lucky stars, she met Bette Davis:Bette Davis was very patient. She said, ‘Well, if you want to act, you should probably try to work in summer stock. That’s the best way to learn your craft.’ ‘Oh yes, that’s what I want to do – I want to start on the stage and then go into films just as you did.’ ‘Well, be sure it’s really what you want to do with your life. It’s hard work and it’s lonely.’ I remembered she had said in an interview when talking about her life, ‘I have two Oscars on my mantelpiece, but they don’t keep you warm on cold winter evenings.’ More silence. Robin looked at me – I knew it was time to go. I said, ‘Thank you so much, Miss Davis, for your time – for seeing us – I am so grateful.’ Betty said much the same. Bette Davis shook our hands, wished us luck. Robin opened the door and out we went.She started working as a model and attending acting school. She constantly wondered where her life would take her:One Saturday morning in 1942, Mother and Rosalie took me to the Capitol Theatre to see a movie called Casablanca. We all loved it, and Rosalie was mad about Humphrey Bogart. I thought he was good in it, but mad about him? Not at all. She thought he was sexy. I thought she was crazy. Mother liked him, though not as much as she liked Chester Morris, who she thought was really sexy – or Ricardo Cortez, her second favorite. I couldn’t understand Rosalie’s thinking at all. Bogart didn’t vaguely resemble Leslie Howard. Not in any way. So much for my judgment at that time.Howard Hawks, the legendary movie director, found Bacall and primed her for Hollywood.He said he thought he’d like to put me in a film with Cary Grant or Humphrey Bogart. I thought, ‘Cary Grant – terrific! Humphrey Bogart – yucch.’There are a lot of Hollywood anecdotes in the book:One day I was having lunch at his poolside and was the last to leave. Finally he walked me to the door. At that moment the door opened. Standing there in white shirt, beige slacks – with a peach complexion, light brown hair, and the most incredible face ever seen by man – was Greta Garbo. I almost gasped out loud as Cole introduced me to her. No make-up – unmatched beauty. It was the only time I saw her at anything but a distance....but despite this, it's mostly about Bacall's own emotions and experiences.And upon making "To Have and Have Not":Howard took me to wardrobe, chose a dark shirt and jacket, put a beret on my head, and told me the test would be the next Tuesday. He drummed into my head that he wanted me to be insolent with the man – that I was being the forward one, but with humor – and told me about yet more scenes he had directed other actresses in to give me examples of the attitude he wanted. I hung on his every word, trying to figure out how the hell a girl who was totally without sexual experience could convey experience, worldliness, and knowledge of men.By the end of the third or fourth take, I realized that one way to hold my trembling head still was to keep it down, chin low, almost to my chest, and eyes up at Bogart. It worked, and turned out to be the beginning of ‘The Look.’And, upon falling in love with Bogie:He was a gentle man – diametrically opposed to most of the parts he played. He detested deceit of any kind. He had never had a secret relationship such as we were having. Our drives home, foolish jokes, kidding on the set, all the behavior of kids in love – he’d never known. Nor had I. I had so many new feelings all at once. I was in awe of him and his position of ‘movie star.’ I was aware of being nineteen and he forty-four, but when we were together that didn’t seem to matter. I was older than nineteen in many ways and he had such energy and vitality he seemed to be no particular age. I was an innocent sexually – Bogie began awakening feelings that were new to me. Just his looking at me could make me tremble. When he took my hand in his, the feeling caught me in the pit of my stomach – his hand was warm, protecting, and full of love. When he saw me at the beginning of the day and when he called me on the telephone, his first words were always ‘Hello, Baby.’ My heart would literally pound. I knew that physical changes were happening within me – the simplest word, look, or move would bring a gut reaction. It was all so romantic – I would not have believed Bogie was so sentimental, so loving. I couldn’t think of anything else – when I wasn’t with him I was thinking of him, or talking about him. One-track-minding with a vengeance.The problematic love story between Bacall and Bogart is the epic piece of the book, to me; we see how their love spires while Bogart is married with Mayo Methot, a person who seems to have experienced issues with alcoholism and spousal abuse - to my knowledge, where she abused Bogart, who hid from Methot as much as possible. This does not seem to have expediated their separation.But, their love:Bogie’s letters were all on the same themes: how much he loved me – how terrified he was of my being hurt – how he wanted to protect me – how wonderful of me to take that long drive to see him for so short a time. A few examples. Baby, I do love you so dearly and I never, never want to hurt you or bring any unhappiness to you – I want you to have the loveliest life any mortal ever had. It’s been so long, darling, since I’ve cared so deeply for anyone that I just don’t know what to do or say. I can only say that I’ve searched my heart thoroughly these past two weeks and I know that I deeply adore you and I know that I’ve got to have you. We just must wait because at present nothing can be done that would not bring disaster to you. And a week later: Baby, I never believed that I could love anyone again, for so many things have happened in my life to me that I was afraid to love – I didn’t want to love because it hurts so when you do. And then: Slim darling, you came along and into my arms and into my heart and all the real true love I have is yours – and now I’m afraid you won’t understand and that you’ll become impatient and that I’ll lose you – but even if that happened, I wouldn’t stop loving you for you are my last love and all the rest of my life I shall love you and watch you and be ready to help you should you ever need help. All the nice things I do each day would be so much sweeter and so much gayer if you were with me. I find myself saying a hundred times a day, ‘If Slim could only see that’ or ‘I wish Slim could hear this.’ I want to make a new life with you – I want all the friends I’ve lost to meet you and know you and love you as I do – and live again with you, for the past years have been terribly tough, damn near drove me crazy. You’ll soon be here, Baby, and when you come you’ll bring everything that’s important to me in this world with you.Then the June 14 letter: Darling, sometimes I get so unhappy because I feel that I’m not being fair to you – that it is not fair to wait so long a time – and then somehow I feel that it’s alright because I’m not hurting you, not harming and never shall. I’d rather die than be the cause of any hurt or harm coming to you, Baby, because I love you so much. It seems so strange that after forty-four years of knocking around I should meet you, know you and fall in love with you when I thought that that could never again happen to me. And it’s tragic that everything couldn’t be all clean and just right for us instead of the way it is because we’d have such fun together. Out of my love for you I want nothing but happiness to come to you and no hurt ever. Slim darling, I wish I were your age again – perhaps a few years older – and no ties of any kind – no responsibilities – it would be so lovely, for there would be so many long years ahead for us instead of the few possible ones.The death of Bogie is too harrowing to even try to concatenate here; all I can say is that it makes for an adamant, excellent cry, if one is at all possible. I'll just print a small quote:We were standing in the hall talking when I heard Steve, who was lying on the floor at the head of the stairs, calling to me through the banister railing, ‘What is the date, Mommy?’ He was writing something. I went upstairs to find that in a little agenda book he had, he had written: ‘January 14th – Daddy died.’Then:I was breathing, but there was no life in me.Bacall's later life makes for a less interesting tome, and I know I'm being brutally honest, even though it's still interesting and quite inspirational; I love the story of Bacall and Bogart, one that spanned lifetimes in some ways; his and her flaws are taken up, and she repeatedly, veraciously emphasises their eternal love, with examples.The truth is that I wanted it all – all the time. And God knows I tried to have it. And God knows I almost did.And to end with:People always ask, ‘Are you happy?’ or, if I’m working, ‘You must be happy.’ I wish I knew what ‘happy’ means. I was happy when I was nineteen, and when my life began at twenty. I was happy then, though something always shook me up in the middle of my joyous time. So my life has been very much a seesaw.All in all: very readable and worthy of reading. What a life. A rider from a young age, and then wise and perhaps not working as much in the latter part of the book - where she notes many a dead friend - but still, a Life. Go read.

I was predisposed to like this book because I like Lauren Bacall. Which is strange, because up until I read this, all I had seen her in was the movie, "How to Marry a Millionaire," where she rocked. Everything else? Hadn't a clue.Even knowing so little, I was able to hear Ms. Bacall's voice in my head while reading this. Her voice is what comes through the most strongly. And if anyone should be known for her voice, it is Lauren Bacall. She writes like I always imagined she talks.There were all kinds of tidbits tucked in here. Great sentences, terrible sentences. She sometimes glossed over things I wanted to know more about, and sometimes delved into more detail than I cared for. But that was ok with me. In picking this up, I felt like we were sitting together in a room and I had asked her to tell me about her life. I really got a feel for her personality and strength as well as her vulnerabilities.I'd recommend this for Bacall fans, for people interested in strong women, for people who are genuinely curious about how people of immense privilege live, and for people who have suffered disappointments in love or the way their lives have turned out. What do you know: a little bit of everything all wrapped up in one.

It took me about six months to get through this book, which is very unusual for me. I'm not entirely sure about the hard copy, but on Kindle the book wasn't split into chapters and, being a long read, I felt it definitely needed to be broken up in order to pull me through it quicker. That being said

My goodness, what an amazing life Ms. Bacall had! While I was most interested in her relationship with Bogart, I enjoyed reading about her humble upbringing in New York City, her attempts to navigate the brutal studio system in Hollywood, and her life after Bogie. One thing she wrote about Bogart struck me: "That intractable sense of self was Bogie’s greatest strength."The reason it struck me is that despite her reputation and screen persona as a tough cookie, she writes honestly about her insecurities about her craft and her bad decisions about some relationships after Bogart's death. (Man, Frank Sinatra was a jerk!) She had her human frailties just like the rest of us. It was sad to see her lament the deaths of so many of her peers and friends. But I understand. We are all going to get to that point, if we haven't already. I liked the way she ended, where she spoke of her children in this way: "They all have wit and a sense of humor and, thank God, I have hung on to mine." I like that very much. I have always maintained that when I lose my sense of humor, I've given up the fight. Here's looking at you, Ms. Bacall.

This audiobook was intriguing. Read with a straightforwardness but then a palpable softness when mentioning some of the fonder folks in her life, Lauren Bacall gives a captivating performance. In between her mentions of "I knew this person and we lunched several times," there are poignant observations about life, death, love, family, the crushing weight of capitalism, and the importance of art and doing what you love. There are vivid snippets of her life that she recalls among the technical retellings of the films she worked on and the overall experience with them that catch you by surprise and keep you going. There's an elegance and honesty to her narration that enables you to trust what she tells you as truth. The By Myself section was more interesting than the Then Some, but it's Lady B, and I would pay to listen to her read the back of a shampoo bottle. I thoroughly enjoyed this and 10/10 recommend if you're a lover of Old Hollywood or biographies narrated by celebrities in general.