Monstrous Regiment audiobook

One of the best Discworld books -- a fun take on sexism in the military Check out my new youtube channel where I show my instant reactions to reading fantasy books seconds after I finish the book. This book will go down as one of my favorite Discworld novels, and really surprised me as I really didn't know what to expect from this one. What I got was a fascinating story about a girl who pretends to be a boy and signs up for the military, and the hijinks that go into keeping it a secret. I don't want to spoil anything, but the twists in this book are equal parts hilarious and shocking.Discworld books are pretty hit-or-miss for me, but I was constantly smiling and giggling while reading this book, and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. It wasn't quite as funny as the best that Discworld has to offer, but it was certainly one of the funnier ones. I did think the ending dragged on too far, and could have been successfully ended 30 pages earlier than it did, but that wasn't a major problem.I strongly recommend this book to any fan of Discworld, it will not disappoint.

This is the second most-frequently read of my favorite Terry Pratchett books, the first being Night Watch, which helped get me through the death of my mother. My latest copy of Monstrous Regiment is so battered and dog-eared that it’s falling apart. From sentence number one I was riveted and if you are wondering whether you should read this book, the short answer is yes, turn your cursor right now to a new tab and order it, or even better jog out to your local (probably half an hour away) bookstore (they’re an endangered species) and support them by buying it there.It’s that good. Sir Terry is that good a writer. Read the book before finishing this review; you’ll thank me for the advice, and if you haven’t already devoured the Discworld series you are in for the rollercoaster ride and treat of your life.By the way, Sir Terry is a personal hero of mine. When he died last March I cried for days. He went leaving the bravest self-written epitaph I have ever read: "Terry took Death's arm and followed him through the doors and on to the black desert under the endless night.The End."I was so stricken and devastated when I read this that I wrote a short response to it, which I kept to myself because I realized that I had no right to besmirch Sir Terry’s courage by imposing my own end-of-life beliefs on his in public. I get choked up just trying to write about this wonderful man and I ardently look forward to the day when we can cure Alzheimer’s disease and save the minds of other brilliant people like him.And guess what? Monstrous Regiment is a “gender-bending” book, meaning that it’s about a girl who dresses up as a boy to get into the army of an extremely misogynistic and backward country so she can try to rescue her older brother Paul, whom she has taken care of since she was a child. That’s not a spoiler, by the way: that’s on the back cover. The entire story is about female and male roles, and whether or not they should change. Ahem. More about that later. But the point is, this is an extremely appropriate book for the first of my new reviews. It’s also a book that will probably make you think a few new thoughts, especially if female equality isn’t an obsession of yours, and therefore obviously worth reading.Monstrous Regiment will also make you think about war. There is enough about realistic fighting in it to make you freeze in shock at points. Like Night Watch, like all of Sir Terry’s best writing, it deals with a serious subject in a loopy way, and the loopiness in turn has a deadly serious razor edge to it. Yes, yes, war is bad and grass is green (except in drought-stricken California, where it’s dun) but Monstrous Regiment will make you feel up close and personal what it’s like to be a soldier. And heaven only knows they know what war is really like. If you don’t feel some wheels turning in your head as you re-evaluate your position on whether anybody should fight anybody with anything after reading this book you are either smarter than everyone else left here in the world (and maybe a bodhisattva) or dumber than a pigeon.The third subject Monstrous Regiment takes on is religion. Yes, organized religion and heavenly religion, too. And, once again, the book will probably surprise you. It astounded and amazed me by its bravery in handling this particular hot potato. I won’t go into the subject at length here because there are some spoilers that are pretty important to the discussion, but suffice it to say that new thoughts may well rocket back and forth in your head at the speed of a light clacks’ signals, which is to say at c for celeritas. Sir Terry is a genius when it comes to turning established “truths” on their heads and then turning them back over again . . . and back upside-down just for good measure. So definitely, without doubt, read the book. There are some terrific characters introduced here. The protagonist, Polly Oliver Ozzer Perks, is a very likeable girl, and the question of whether she is a lovable girl—a hero to adore and/or emulate—doesn’t really even arise. I’d be entirely happy to have Polly on my team any day, and I’d not hesitate to call on her in time of need. She’s smart and solid. That’s high praise from me. Overall: The action in the book is fast and furious, the humor is hilarious, the writing is fresh and vibrant, the ideas breathtaking, and there are even a few brief appearances by Samuel Vimes, who is my favorite of all Sir Terry’s characters, male or female. That is my conventional review of Monstrous Regiment, and I give it a conventional five out of five stars.See the comments below for the rest of my review.

Monstrous Regiment (Discworld, #31), Terry PratchettMonstrous Regiment is a fantasy novel by British writer Terry Pratchett, the 31st novel in his Discworld series. The bulk of Monstrous Regiment takes place in the small, bellicose country of Borogravia, a highly conservative nation, whose people live according to the increasingly strange decrees of its favored deity, Nuggan. The main feature of his religion is the Abominations; a long, often-updated list of banned things. To put this in perspective, these things include garlic, cats, the smell of beets, people with ginger hair, shirts with six buttons, anyone shorter than three feet (including children and babies), sneezing, rocks, ears, jigsaw puzzles, chocolate (which was once Borogravia's staple export, plunging the country into increasing poverty), and the color blue.The list of "Abominations Unto Nuggan" often causes conflicts with Borogravia's neighbours, and the uncertain whereabouts of Nuggan leads the inhabitants of Borogravia to deify their Duchess, to whom they pray instead. This slowly causes problems as, on the Discworld, belief grants power. Borogravia is in the midst of a war against an alliance of neighbouring countries, caused by a border dispute with the country of Zlobenia. Rumour is that the war is going poorly for Borogravia, though the country's leadership (and "everyone") denies it.Polly Perks's brother Paul is missing in action after fighting in the Borogravian army. Paul is naive and believes what he is told regardless of the credibility or political leanings of the source, and even though Polly is more qualified to take over the family business (a famous pub known as "The Duchess"), according to Nugganitic law, women cannot own property, so if Paul does not return the pub will be lost to their drunken cousin when their father dies. Partly to ensure her own future but mainly to ascertain whether Paul is alive, Polly sets off to join the army in order to find him. Women joining the army are regarded as an Abomination Unto Nuggan, so Polly decides to dress up as a man (another Abomination) and enlists as Private Oliver Perks (taking her name from the folk song Sweet Polly Oliver) a song that her father sang to her when she was a young girl.While signing up, Polly encounters the repulsively patriotic Corporal Strappi, and the corpulent Sergeant Jackrum. Despite her apprehensions regarding Strappi, she kisses the Duchess - that is, she kisses a painting of said noble - and by doing so, joins up. Due to the shortage of troops, her fellow soldiers include a vampire named Maladict, a Troll named Carborundum, and an Igor named Igor. They also include "Tonker" Halter, "Shufti" Manickle, "Wazzer" Goom, and "Lofty" Tewt.That night, Polly encounters an unknown supporter whilst answering a call of nature, who assures her that although they know that Polly is a girl, they won't give her away. They also give her some hints on how not to be discovered. Over the next few days, Polly makes a startling discovery: Lofty is also a girl. Since Lofty and Tonker are always together, Polly assumes that Lofty joined the army to follow her man, just like in "Sweet Polly Oliver". Later, she finds out that Shufti is another girl, and a pregnant one. She also joined the army to find her man; in this case, the father of her child, who she'd only known for a few days, and is known as Johnny. ...تاریخ نخستین خوانش روز دهم ماه جولای 2020میلادیعنوان: دیسک ورلد (جهان صفحه) کتاب سی و یکم: هنگ بزرگ (هیولا)؛ نویسنده تری پرچت؛ موضوع داستانهای نویسندگان بریتانیایی - سده 20مدیسک ورلد (جهان صفجه)، یک سری از کتابهای فانتزی هستند، که روانشاد «تری پرچت»، نویسنده ی «انگلیسی»، نگاشته ‌اند؛ داستان‌های این سری در جهانی با نام «دیسک‌ ورلد (جهان صفحه)» می‌گذرند؛ که صفحه‌ ای تخت است، و بر شانه‌ های «چهار فیل»، با هیکلهای بزرگ، قرار دارد؛ این فیل‌ها نیز، به نوبه ی خود، بر روی پشت یک «لاک‌پشت غول‌آسا»، با نام «آتوئین بزرگ» قرار دارند؛ در این سری از کتابها، بارها از سوژه های کتاب‌های نویسندگانی همچون «جی.آر.آر تالکین»، «رابرت هاوارد»، «اچ پی لاوکرافت»، و «ویلیام شکسپیر»، به گونه ای خنده دار، استفاده شده ‌است؛از سری «دیسک ‌ورلد» بیشتر از هشتاد میلیون نسخه، در سی و هفت زبان، به فروش رفته‌ است؛ این سری در برگیرنده ی بیش از چهل رمان (تاکنون چهل و یک رمان)، یازده داستان کوتاه، چهار کتاب علمی، و چندین کتاب مرجع، و مکمل است؛ از این سری، چندین رمان تصویری، بازی کامپیوتری، نمایش تئاتر، سریالهای تلویزیونی اقتباس شده ‌است؛ روزنامه ی «ساندی تایمز» چاپ «انگلستان» از این سری به عنوان یکی از پرفروش‌ترین سری کتاب‌ها نام برده، و «تری پرچت» را، به عنوان پرفروش‌ترین نویسنده ی «انگلستان»، در دهه ی نود میلادی دانسته است؛رمان‌های «دیسک‌ورلد» جوایز بسیاری از جمله جایزه «پرومتئوس»، و مدال ادبی «کارنگی» را، از آن خود کرده ‌اند؛ در نظرسنجی «بیگ رید»، که «بی‌بی‌سی» در سال 2003میلادی، در «انگلستان» انجام داد، چهار رمان سری «دیسک‌ورلد»؛ در فهرست یکصد کتاب برتر قرار گرفتند؛ همچنین مردمان «انگلیس»، در این نظرسنجی، چهارده رمان «دیسک‌ورلد» را، در شمار دویست کتاب برتر، دانستند؛ تا کنون، از این سری، چهل و یک رمان، به چاپ رسیده است؛ «تری پرچت» که پیش از درگذشتش؛ در ابتدای سال 2015میلادی، از بیماری «آلزایمر» رنج می‌بردند، اعلام کردند که خوشحال می‌شوند که دخترشان، «ریانا پرچت»، به جای ایشان، به ادامه ی این سری بپردازند؛ تا جلد بیست و ششم رمان این سری، رمان «دزد زمان (2001میلادی)» به دست «جاش کربی»، به تصویر کشیده شده ‌اند، اما نسخه ‌های «آمریکایی»، که انتشارات «هارپرکالینز» آن‌ها را، منتشر کرده، دارای تصاویر روی جلد متفاوتی هستند؛ پس از درگذشت «جاش کربی»، در سال 2001میلادی، نقاشی‌های روی جلد کتاب‌های بعدی این سری، بدست «پائول کربی» کشیده‌ شدندکتابهای اول و دوم: «رنگ جادو»؛ کتاب سوم: «زنان جادوگر»؛ کتاب چهارم: «مرگ»؛ کتاب پنجم: «سورسری (برگردان فارسی جادوی مرجع)»؛ کتاب ششم: «خواهران ویرد»؛ کتاب هفتم: «هرم ها»؛ کتاب هشتم: «نگهبانان! نگهبانان»؛ کتاب نهم: «اریک»؛ کتاب دهم: «تصاویر متحرک»؛ کتاب یازدهم: «مرد دروگر»؛ کتاب دوازدهم: «جادوگران خارج»؛ کتاب سیزدهم: «ایزدان خرد (خدایان کوچک)»؛ کتاب چهاردهم: «لردها و بانوان»؛ کتاب پانزدهم: «مردان مسلح»؛ کتاب شانزدهم: «موسیقی روح»؛ کتاب هفدهم: «اوقات جالب»؛ کتاب هجدهم: «ماسکراد»؛ کتاب نوزدهم: «پاهای خشت (فیت آو کلی)»؛ کتاب بیستم: «هاگفادر»؛ کتاب بیست و یکم: «جینگو»؛ کتاب بیست و دوم: «آخرین قاره»؛ کتاب بیست و سوم: «کارپه جوگلوم»؛ کتاب بیست و چهارم: «فیل پنجم»؛ کتاب بیست و پنجم: «حقیقت»؛ کتاب بیست و ششم: «دزد زمان»؛ کتاب بیست و هفتم: «آخرین قهرمان»؛ کتاب بیست و هشتم: «ماوریس شگفت‌انگیز و موش‌های آموزش‌دیده‌اش»؛ کتاب بیست و نهم: «ساعت شب»؛ کتاب سی ام: «مردان آزاد وی»؛ کتاب سی و یکم: «هنگ بزرگ»؛ کتاب سی و دوم: «کلاهی پُر از آسمان»؛ کتاب سی و سوم: «گوینگ پوستال»؛ کتاب سی و چهارم: «تود!»؛ کتاب سی و پنجم: «وینتراسمیت»؛ کتاب سی و ششم: «بدست آوردن پول»؛ کتاب سی و هفتم: «دانشگاهی‌های نادیدنی»؛ کتاب سی و هشتم: «نیمه‌شب بایست بپوشم»؛ کتاب سی و نهم: «اسنوف»؛ کتاب چهلم: «بالا آمدن مه»؛ کتاب چهل و یکم: «تاج چوپان»؛بخش عمده ی «هنگ هیولا»، در یک کشور کوچک و جنگ طلب «بوروگراویا»، کشوری کاملاً محافظه کار، برگزار میشود، که مردمان آن طبق احکام عجیب خدای مورد علاقه ی خود «نوگان»، زندگی میکنند؛ ویژگی اصلی دین آنها «مکروهات» است؛ لیستی طولانی، و اغلب به روز شده، از موارد ممنوع؛ برای درک بهتر این موارد: سیر، گربه، بوی چغندر، افرادی با موی زنجبیل، پیراهنهایی با شش دکمه، هر کسی کوتاهتر از سه پا (از جمله کودکان و نوزادان)، عطسه، سنگ، گوش، اره منبت کاری اره مویی، شکلات (که زمانی صادرات اصلی «بوروگا» بود، و کشور را در فقر فزاینده فرو میبرد) و رنگ آبی؛ و ...؛تاریخ بهنگام رسانی 05/01/1400هجری خورشیدی؛ ا. شربیانی

Re-Read 12/10/19:A delightful Discworld read that dives head first into a little country's war problem. Well, it's not really a problem, per se... in fact, it's almost done. As in fini. Kaput. With them the ultimate losers.So you'd think, with all the men being dead and all, they'd be more welcoming of a bit of some added support. And I'm not talking bras... or AM I?A very funny book. There are a few coffee drinking beasties here, a troll, and even an Igor(ina). It turns into a kinda Hogan's Heroes. Or rather, Heroines. And ooooh the abominations! Cross-Dressing Everywhere!

Welcome to Borogravia.It is currently at war with Szlobenia. Well, Borogravia is always at war with someone. It has been at war with every single one of its neighours and with some of them even more than once. Why? Because they consider it their patriotic duty. Just like never giving up even if the only reason for their survival is that their enemy doesn't want to just senselessly slaughter them where they stand.One Borogravian doesn't really care about the war. All she cares about is finding her brother. To do that, she cuts her hair, stuffs some socks into her trousers and marches off as a soldier in the army. She is surprised to find she is not the only woman/girl who had reason to disguise herself and enlist. Amongst the comrades in her regiment are a vampire, a troll and an Igor. To say nothing of the apparently legendary Sergeant Jackrum. On the periphery, we get a few glimpses at this mess from the POV of Commander Vimes and deWord as this business is involving Ankh-Morpork, too (so long as they can help an underdog against a royal without having to spend too much money). Sir Terry obviously had quite a few things to say about war and patriotism, corporate and state interests in wars and general soldiering. It might very well be that he and I had quite different opinions on the matter(s). Then again, it's entirely possible that we might have agreed at least on some of the things. It's hard to say since Sir Terry isn't just repeating old jokes and snide remarks (the ones about soldiers being too stupid to be doing any other job, or the ones of officers vs. grunts etc). That would be too one-sided and narrow-minded. Instead, he was aware of and also showed (commended even) the other, more sensible aspects (the camaraderie for example). And that is what I love so bloody much about the author: no matter his personal stance, he always gives a 360°-view. This is important since nothing, especially not something as complex as state politics and wars, is black-or-white. It's not just one thing or another either. To get to the bottom of it, to be able to form an informed opinion, you need all available information and he didn't just want to make you agree with him - he wanted to make you think for yourself. As far as I can tell, this installment of the Discworld series was published after the start of the second Iraq war. But while that might have been the reason for him writing this book, Sir Terry is settling the account with humanity's overall history of war. Thus, the story has elements from the Bosnian war, the two World Wars, perhaps even the Falkland wars as well. To give this book an additional edge (because that is how the author rolled), the story is also about gender roles, religious fanatism and the concepts of honour and freedom. Delivering the necessary comic relief are the quirks of all the different races in the titular Monstrous Regiment - including but not limited to the vampire's coffee obsession - and the general absurdity of many a situation. The most endearing bit (to me) was the heart-warming sisterbrotherhood of the regiment. Not the strongest installment of the series but seriously good in its own right. 

This book was newly published when I first started reading Discworld eighteen years ago. I wanted to read it right then but, because I am me, I decided to wait until I could read it in order. Literally half my life later, I made it! And honestly, I'm kind of glad I waited. Eighteen year old me was smart, but I appreciate it more now than I think I would have then. This one has instantly made my top five Discworld books, right up there with a bunch of City Watch books, and Hogfather.What we've got here is an anti-war book that simultaneously criticizes the pointlessness of nationalism and patriotism, and adherence to gender norms. The central gag (view spoiler)[ that not only is our main character Polly Perks a girl dressed up as a boy so she can fight, but that her entire squadron are also girls dressed up as boys, as is her commander, and eventually we learn that so are all the leaders, never gets old (hide spoiler)]. Pratchett keeps it going for the whole novel, and it gets funnier as it goes. I am not smart enough to write about this series in depth, and I'm most definitely not funny enough. Terry Pratchett was a genius, so I hope you'll forgive me for just filling up the rest of this review space with quotes.“The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?”“You take a bunch of people who don't seem any different from you and me, but when you add them all together you get this sort of huge raving maniac with national borders and an anthem.”“I want to eat chocolates in a great big room where the world is a different place.”"Trousers. That's the secret. Trousers and a pair of socks. I never dreamed it was like this. Put on trousers and the world changes. We walk different. We act different. I see these girls and I think: Idiots, get yourself some trousers!""'What does Borogravia want? Not the country. I mean the people.'Polly opened her mouth and then shut it again, and thought about the answer. 'To be left alone,' she said. 'By everybody. For a while, anyway. We can change things.''You'll accept the food?''We are a proud country.''What are you proud of?'It came swiftly, like a blow, and Polly realized how wars happened. You took that shock that had run through her, and let it boil. . . . it may be corrupt, benighted, and stupid, but it's ours . . .Vimes was watching her face. 'From this desk here,' he said, 'the only thing your country has to be proud of right now is you women.'"

This is my third time reading this book, and I've decided that the few sentences I wrote last time were not nearly enough to describe my thoughts and feelings towards this book. This is one of the most genuinely funny and thought provoking books I've ever picked up. I've been thinking about it a lot lately in regard to it's thoughts on nationalism, and I often think the world would be a better place if more people read Discworld.Nationalistic pride is just one topic discussed here, however. It's just the one most on my mind at present, but this book is full of insightful knowledge. There are few writers in history who could make shoving a sock down the front of one's pants philosophic, but Terry Pratchett was a very special writer.I tend to get a bit intimidated writing reviews about my favorite books, and I've gotten better about it over the years. There are so many thoughts and feelings swirling around my head towards this book. The first time I read it, it was eye opening. It changed the way I thought and feel about several different things and put some feelings I already had into perspective.This time, it serves more as a reminder. A hilarious reminder, well worth experiencing again and again. If asked what my favorite Terry Pratchett book is, I would say this one or Small Gods. They hit some of the same notes but don't hit the same ones quite as hard. Terry Pratchett is my favorite satirist and probably my favorite author. I tend to tell people to start with this book, as it's a nice stand alone novel. Really though, I think you can start the Discworld anywhere and be fine. I started with Thud, and I enjoyed it immensely(although, I did enjoy it more after learning more about Sam Vimes and his squad). This is one of my favorite books, in one of my favorite series, by one of my favorite authors. I think everyone should read it, and I have given at least three copies out that I can remember. I'm sure I'll read it many more times in my lifetime.