How We Change audiobook

Enjoyed the first half a lot more than the second. Still glad I read it, and it gave me a lot to chew on! While this book eschews narrative for the most part, there was a really compelling and resonant story about a woman named Mary. Mary was someone who seemed poised for greatness at a young age until a series of unfortunate events derailed her life. Wallowing in self-pity and misery, Mary had lost and abandoned just about everything that gave her a reason to wake up and get out of bed every morning. After repeated hospitalizations following failed suicide attempts, Mary eventually found her way along a path to redemption—she had to rediscover agency and overcome her fear of hope. Ross Ellenhorn does a wonderful job carrying us through Mary’s journey, showing us how she eventually found intimate friendships, passionate love, and a fulfilling professional life. The way he mixes compassion and admiration for Mary’s dormant wit and vitality even at her worst moments was very moving, and her story is very inspiring to me!!

** spoiler alert ** Was a very insightful book for those who want to dive deep into reasons why the obvious "how" to change instructions work. Interesting concepts such as fear of hope are presented and explained. May seem basic, but the deconstruction works. The reasons why we don't change are insightful. Its like taking abunch of rules about change that we know and analyzing it from different perspectives.

This read helps challenge the norm and explore concepts of change versus sameness. Ross deeply elaborates on the importance of embracing both sides of a dichotomy. The concepts are proven by human behavior, more specifically social habits but it is presented in such a digestible manner for the reader.

I got the audible book. It is exactly the book I need at this moment. The author was able to explain the layers of our thoughts that prevent us to change, and why people feel stuck in their life. He talked about the thoughts mechanism in a non-offensive way that made me feel secure to open to these concepts.Since he had a lot of experience as a counselor, he was able to use the example of his patients to demonstrate each type of resistances in the book, and how his patients eventually got out of the “stuck” state of mind. It’s educational while very encouraging. I can say for someone who doesn’t have the same concern, the book may feels lengthy. But for me it’s a wonderful book, simple and helpful, I learn something new in each chapter. And now I have a better understanding of myself.

5⭐️Despite reading and following many great books on the science of change (eg Atomic Habits, Power Of Habit, The Willpower Instinct etc.) I often found myself unable to sustain the wonderful changes I made. It further damaged my self esteem that not only did I fail, I couldn’t quite explain to myself why. As I was reading this I realized I had had suspicions of what the problems may be that were dead on. At those times, I dismissed them at their inception because I was convinced the “science of change” was there and in its entirety in those many books like the ones I listed above. Because surely one of those books would have touched on my suspicions if they were valid. Yet all of them had basically the same information. That must be it and whatever is wrong with me is just that; wrong with *me*.Then this book came along and I could burst into tears easily if I began explaining how seen and validated I felt. There’s not one sentence or idea in this book that doesn’t exactly describe my experience. It does contradict those aforementioned books, it completes them.Reading this was humbling and hopeful, and got me exactly where I needed to be. This book is about the deeper PSYCHOLOGY of change, and not the mechanics.

So good!